bekah's blog

Tomorrow

2012-01-20T07:54:00.001-05:00

I may have added my days wrong last time I was talking about Zach's birthday. I know I've had my days all messed up with the holidays and short work weeks.
Tomorrow is little man's birthday. A year ago today, I went into labor. I was having contractions all day. The times between them varied. 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 3 minutes, 12 minutes, 30 minutes, 4 minutes.. I kept the post-it note where I was keeping track and put it in his baby book. I made it through my work day and went home. Lilly was at her father's. It was a Thursday. It was snowing. Late that night I drove out in the snow and the slick roads to get Subway. I called my mom on my way. She told me I'd better go ahead and go to the hospital before the weather gets worse. I was more interested in getting and eating my sandwich. On my way back home, the snow picked up and my contractions worstened.
After I made it home, I got down half of my footlong sub and told hubby that I think its time to go. It was 11:00 at night. He went downstairs and cleaned the snow off my car and warmed it up while I ate the other half of my sandwich. I waited. I was getting nervous. My heart started to beat hard and fast within my chest. I didn't want to go. I wasn't ready. Hubby gave me a small encouraging speech and I slowly made my way to the car, being careful not to fall down the stairs again.
On our way to the hospital, we slipped and slid all over the road. It was horrible. It was making me more nervous and my contractions got more painful. I sent out a mass text to everyone I knew telling them I was going to the hospital, but for them to not come in this weather. They can come to the hospital the next day, I would still be there. Of course hubby's parents didn't listen and they were there. I called my boss and told her I am officially calling off for the next 6 weeks. I called mom and told her I was almost at the hospital and that I'd see her later, for her not to come, the roads were too bad. I called my grandma and told her to come the next day. About this time it was almost midnight.
The hospital sent me to Triage where they hooked me up to monitors to check the intensity of my contractions and to keep track of my pulse and baby's heartbeat. After an hour they told me that if the weather wasn't so bad, they'd send me home. I walked the hallway, looked at the babies in the nursery, watched the snow fall outside. I stayed in Triage until about 5:00 in the morning. I still hadn't had any sleep. They moved me to a delivery room. Hubby stayed in there with me and took a nap on the couch. Hubby's mom and sister took turns being with me. They started pumping full of stuff that makes the next few hours really fuzzy. I remember telling hubby, in code, what name I was ok with. I didn't want to say it outloud becuase his sister was in there and we didn't want anyone to know. I remember fighting with Lilly's father and his mother to get Lilly here. Lilly got to come see me after the doctor put in my epidural and shortly after she came in, the doctor said it was time to push. It was 3:00 in the afternoon, and I still didn't get any sleep.
I pushed and pushed. Nothing. Hubby's head was almost between his knees. I pushed some more. Interns surrounded me, watching me fail. Hubby finally raised his head and stroked my hair away from my face. My epidural was turned off. Pain was beginning to surge through me. The baby wasn't moving. An hour of pushing and getting nowhere, it was time to move me into surgery. I cried. I cried so hard I almost hyperventilated. I felt like I failed. I sent out a quick text to everyone in the waiting room and my best friend that was miles and hours away.
They wheeled me into the OR, tears still streaming down my face. They took off my gown, put me on a table, put up a drape between my face and my tummy. Hubby came in with scrubs on and sat on a stool beside my head. They pumped me with more pain killers and gave me a few shots. After 5 minutes passed they cut. I could feel them tugging at my skin. Then..... I felt so much pain I screamed. The drugs failed me. They quickly gave me another shot, but I was already short of breath and scared. They gave me an air mask. I started to feel dizzy and I closed my eyes, fully aware of the tugging and pulling. I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep. I barely remember hearing Zach's first cry before I drifted off to sleep. Hubby tried to wake me to see the baby, but all I saw was fuzziness. I was sad because I couldn't see my baby, but I was so tired I just couldn't keep my eyes open. 4:15. He was born at 4:15.
When I woke up, both hubby and Zach were gone and the doctors were almost done closing me up. They transfered me to a rolling bed, somehow got a gown on me, and drapped blankets on me. I was wheeled to the recovery room. I laid there wondering where my baby was, wondering where my husband was. I was shivering uncontrolably. I was worried and felt so alone. A few nurses came and went. Finally after about 45 mintues, hubby comes in with Lilly and a nurse rolling Zach in. I got to see Lilly hold Zach for the first time. I cried. I was still shivering. I couldn't hold my baby yet. I was shaking too bad. The nurse brought me more blankets, but they didn't help. Hubby held Zach for a little bit. He said that he had to basically steal him from the nursery. Lilly was getting ready to leave. She looked so scared and worried watching me shake. I told her I was just cold, even though I wasn't at all. I gave her a big hug and told her I'd see her in a couple of days at home and Zach would be there too. She was so proud that we chose the name she picked out. They all left and I was alone again.
A little while later another nurse, one I hadn't seen before, came in and wheeled me into another room where I would stay for the remainder of my stay. I waited. Finally, hubby's mom and dad came back to see me. Visitors came and went. Zach finally came in after all his checkups. I got to hold him, it was so late, already dark outside. Hubby's parents, sister, neice, my step dad and oldest brother were the only ones to make it that day.
The next day was painful. I couldn't sit up. I still wasn't allowed to walk. I sat in bed. I talked to people as they came and went. Hubby got to stay in the room with me in a bed. I was really glad he got to stay. Mom came this day with 2 of my little brothers, my grandparents came, my step mom and my other little brother came, hubby's family came and went.
I had to learn to walk today and be able to go to the bathroom myself. It took me half an hour to go 5 feet. I felt dizzy, my legs wouldn't hardly move and I was still in so much pain. We got pictures done of Zach this day. I was so dizzy from my pain meds, I couldn't even watch. I hated that I missed out on his first photo shoot. I wanted to cry, but there was too many people in there. Hubby's grandpa was there for the pictures. We even got one of hubby, his grandpa and Zach.
The next day we got to leave. I sat in the backseat of the car to watch my baby. The next few days were all about me moving slow and learing how to handle a small baby again. Every time I saw hubby hold Zach, tears came to my eyes.
I couldn't even look at my incision until about a week after my staples were removed. Every now and then it still hurts.
I can't believe that its been a year since I drove out in the snow to get me a sandwhich from Subway.......

My New Year's Resolutions

2012-01-18T07:26:00.000-05:00

I think the closer we get to Zach's birthday, the sadder I get. I don't want him to grow up. I don't want either of my kids to grow up. Hell... I don't even want to grow up. I wish I could just freeze in time and stay there forever. Ok... maybe after we get a house I'll freeze time.
I couldn't find anything about my last year's resolutions on here... doesn't mean they aren't on here, I just didn't find them. Gold star for anyone who does!
So mine for this year are.....
1) Be more patient
2) LOSE AT LEAST 20 POUNDS!!!!
3) Save up some money
4) Make new friends
5) Work harder at work

All very good things that I need to do. I've been losing my patience a lot lately. Hubby says its due to lack of sleep, but I think its something more. Maybe I should make one of my goals this year to go see a doctor. I've been very depressed lately and my little spurts of anger are bothering me.
Losing the weight is going to probably be the hardest for me. I always make this a goal, and it never happens. I am serious about it this time. And I mean it. No slacking off. I hate the weight that I'm at. I hate my size. 20 pounds is just a start... to get me motivated.
Saving money. Oh, I would love to be able to save money just for Christmas so I'm not scrapping up money at the last minute. I'm going to aim to save $1,500 before Thanksgiving. We'll see how that goes. I know its going to be very difficult, unless I get a very generous raise next month. That's when my raise is supposed to be coming. Next month. We'll see about that.
Making new friends is another hard one for me. I don't do that easily. My best friend just moved to New York and even though she's been far away for a few years now, it just hit me that I need more friends. She's basically all I have. I love her to death and I'm in no way going to even try to replace her, I just need another gal pal to hang out with while she's gone. One of my 30 things to do before I turn 30 is to have 2 more people I consider close friends. I shall start now. Be more open. Be more friendly. Be more social. That's my biggest problem. I am just not a social person. It seems as time goes on I become less and less social. I did have someone I started considering a close friend recently. She's a courier that comes to my work to pick up a bag full of work. We've gotten to the point where we stand and talk for a good 45 minutes everyday now. I complain to her and talk to her like I would my best friend. I trust her, which is a big thing for me. But... her last day is Thursday and she lives waaaaaay to far away to even try to hang out. I told her we'll text and I'll keep sending her pictures of my kids. Its weird. It seems that I can only make friends with people older than me. This lady is just 5 years younger than my mom.
My work... oh there's so much to say there, but all I'm going to say is that I need to light a fire under my ass and get working faster. I have more responsibility and more work to do. No more slacking. Being exhausted means nothing. I must keep moving.
So... those are my goals. Stay tuned to see if they actually happen. Stay tuned... lol....

4 days

2012-01-17T07:30:00.000-05:00

I didn't really do too much this weekend. I just went shopping for more stuff to decorate for Zach's birthday party. Hubby had to work all weekend, so it was just mainly me and Zach hanging out. 4 more days until my baby man is 1. The more I think about it, I think the sadder I get. I'm only 25. He's probably my last child, and he's already turning 1. If it were up to me, we'd have at least one more. But... hubby is content with the amount we have now. Maybe I can get him to change his mind once we get a house.
A house. I should have asked Santa for a house. There's still nothing out there that we want. Nothing new anyway. The houses we can afford are not worth a second look and the ones that I want are just out of our price range. That's how it works though, isn't it? I'm just so sick of the tiny apartment. I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't do anything.
I started reading The Help yesterday. Good book so far. I'm only in the second chapter and it has caught my attention. Its written very uniquely. I was wanting to read the book before I saw the movie. Hubby's sister said the movie was great. She said it wasn't the kind of movie she would usually watch, but she liked it. I don't have a 'usual' kind of movie. I like just about anything. Just like my books, if it can keep my attention, then its pretty good. I have honestly only saw a handful of movies that I don't like. Now... those movies that try to hard to be funny or spoof movies or anything like that, I don't like. I even tried reading a spoof book. I got a few pages in and put it down. Its just not my cup of tea. Now, don't get me wrong... I love comedy movies...I just don't like it when its forced or just right down ridiculous.
I noticed I haven't made any New Year's resolutions yet.... maybe I should. I'll try to post those tomorrow. I'll even take a look back to see what mine were for last year and see if I accomplished any of them. I doubt it, but its worth looking at, right? I don't even know if I posted them on here or not. Hmmm....

Justice

2012-01-13T07:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I got to go to court to watch very bad man be found guilty. His sentencing isn't for a few more weeks though, but its a big weight lifted off so many people's shoulders. I want to thank the jury for taking extra time to look through all the charges against him, for asking questions to clarify, and for helping put him in jail for the rest of his life. He can no longer hurt another.
The trial was at 9:30 and lasted until 11:00. It took the jury until 5:10 to have a verdict. I also want to thank the victim's advocate for helping out so much. She did such a wonderful job keeping everyone informed on what was going on and keeping everyone comfortable. It was a very emotional day for everyone.
We sat and waited. We played games. We heard stories of the day the 'defendant' was apprehended. We laughed together, we cried together.
The 'defendant' didn't even want to be present when the verdict was read. He stayed in his holding cell. He didn't want to be in there to face everyone. After being on the run for so many years........... justice is finally served.
On our way home, I rode with my bff and her mom, the windshield wipers quit working... and it was raining pretty hard. It was like the one on the drivers side slipped off the windshield, over-extended itself kind of, and after that, it just wouldn't work. We kept pulling over and fixing it to work for only one or two more swipes. We finally got to a better spot to pull over than on the shoulder of the interstate and we sat and waited for my bff's uncle and aunt to come back to help. Apparently it was an easy fix. It was scary and funny at the same time.
I hope my bff reads this without me asking her to.... I am so glad I was there with you guys yesterday. All of you are my family, your pain is my pain too. I was glad I was there to hear the verdict and sit by your side as guilty was read over and over again. I am glad that it is all over now. I love all of you.

Title.... um... no

2012-01-11T16:25:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got a call from day care saying that Zach's eye was red, oozing and crusty. So I leave work super early, I get there and his eye is barely pink. By the time I get home its fine. I think he just scratched it or got something in it, but the teacher had to overreact and couldn't wait an hour to see if it was pink eye or not. I understand that there are concerns of not infecting the other children, but there was nothing wrong. I think she was exaggerating a bit too. So me and Zach napped until hubby and Lilly came home.
Monday night, Lilly was playing Just Dance on the Wii and Zach got involved. He was in front of Lilly doing the dance moves with the TV. It was so cute. I got him on video doing it. I laughed through the whole thing. Every once in a while, he would turn to me and Lilly and give us evil looks for laughing at him, then he'd turn back around and continue dancing.
My aunt's bar caught on fire today. I don't know how bad it is yet.
I'm taking tomorrow off work to go to watch someone in court. I don't want to get into the details.
Things are ok. I'm still exhausted. I finished the Hunger Games books, all three of them, in a week and I can't wait to see the movie in March for the first book. Makes me kind of wish I bought the books instead of just putting them on my Kindle so I can lend them out to people.
Work day is over. Be back on Friday

I'm awake! But I want to be sleeping....

2012-01-09T07:15:00.000-05:00

We've decided to do Zach's birthday in construction. That's right. Actually... Zach picked it out. We went to a party store and we were just walking up and down the isles looking to see what all they had before we made a decision, and Zach pointed at the construction and reached out for it. I know he likes trucks, but I figured he'd like something with more color. Guess I was wrong. We stocked up on a bunch of stuff like napkins, plates, cups, banner, table cloth and a game. We got the rest of the stuff (invitations, hanging decorations, high chair decoration set) in the number one. I even found him an outfit yesterday that is perfect!
Friday I got to hang out with my bff finally. We went to Five Guys Burger and Fries. It was the first time I ever went there. It was awesome! The fries were a little much but the food tasted great. After that we just went shopping until I dropped her off at her cousins house where I got to see a baby. Such a little baby. Anyway.. while we were out shopping, she helped me pick out such a perfect outfit for Lilly for her birthday.
Oh... I realized that I got the number of days wrong on my last post about how far away Zach's birthday is. I said 2 weeks and a day when, in fact, it was 2 weeks and 2 days. I thought it was Friday when it was Thursday. Well.. now its 12 days away.
Sleeping is a little better, but its not back to normal. I can stay asleep, but its hard to get to sleep and I still wake up early. And of course, I'm still getting up with Zach. He's getting better. Only twice a night now. I don't understand why I can't sleep. I'm tired. I'm so tired. Has anyone else had this problem? Its not stress.. there's nothing different to stress about, just the usual stuff. I don't know. I might be having a personal day soon, so I can use that day to nap on and off, see if that helps any. See if I can actually nap.

Sorry....

2012-01-05T09:36:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry that I've been "out" for a bit. I didn't write anything yesterday because, honestly...there's really nothing to say. Nothing even pops in my mind. No topics really.
I've been reading the Hunger Games books and I can't stop. They really are great books. I'm halfway through the second one Catching Fire.
Zach's birthday is in just 2 weeks and a day. We have the fire station community building reserved for the day already. We don't have a theme yet, but I don't want to do something like a cartoon or whatever. Just colors or even just the number 1 could be the theme. We're going to a party store this weekend to look around. I can't believe it. He's almost 1. It makes me kind of sad.
I've been exhausted these past few days and my brain won't function. I don't hardly sleep anymore. Its not because of Zach, much. I just can't. I find myself lying awake for hours befor I drift off. When I get up with Zach, it takes me an hour or better to be able to go back to sleep. Sometimes I even wake by myself and am unable to drift off again for the longest time. Its made me grouchy and almost intolerable, I think. I don't know what my problem is. I'm tired. I really am. I just can't sleep.

Vacation's Over

2012-01-03T15:45:00.000-05:00

Way too much happened during my time off to even begin to talk about it. Kids loved their toys. Zach loves finally having something of his own to sit and play with. Lilly even sits and plays with his stuff. Lilly got just about everything she asked for. Hubby loves his PS3, like I knew he would. He got 5 games at Christmas from me and he went and bought 4 more New Year's Eve. Hubby got me a Kindle, which I absolutely love. I bought the Hunger Games Trilogy and I cannot stop reading it! My mom and her boyfriend got me a Wizard of Oz purse, which I love also. I didn't get any pictures of the kids during Christmas on my phone to share on here, but I did get some of them playing with their toys. You can go here to see them.

I broke out my Calender of Awesome today and put it on my desk. I don't want to tear the days off, so I just fold it under. I wonder how long that will last before it starts to topple over? I also went and got myself a Wizard of Oz wall calender. Things are good.

My vacation was great, but I'm oddly happy to be back at work. Being cramped in that tiny apartment for so long with the kids was killing me. Every time I turned around I stepped on a kid. It was nerve racking. My brothers loved their shirts! They were rolling on the floor laughing when they saw them, just like I knew they would. My grandma nearly cried over her ornament that simply said "Special Grandma" on a little red bulb with a santa hat on top. Mom loved her magnet I got her with the gnome on it flipping you off. It said MOM all over it when I saw it and I couldn't NOT get it. I think I did an excellent job this year gifting for everyone. My bff got me a 4 movie DVD and the books to match. Very clever and I love it so much. Nicholas Sparks books and the movies from them... how did she know?

Zach did ok unwrapping. He got bored quickly at other people's houses. He was more interested in the paper and the boxes than anything else. At our house, Hubby or I would help him unwrap one and let him play with it for a minute, then I'd hide it so he would open another. He got almost done before he wanted to quit. Lilly was nice and patient through the entire morning.

I understand I'm jumping around a lot. I'm just so tired and I have a headache. I've spent the entire day trying to catch up my work from where I was gone.

See you next year!

2011-12-22T09:15:00.000-05:00

I am taking a bit of a vacation starting tomorrow. I won't be back until Janurary 3, so there will be no posts until then.
Last night I let Lilly wrap Zach's sippy cups we got him. It occured to me after she had wrapped them that they didn't come with lids. Now I'm going to have to go out and get some more that have lids so we can go places with his sippy without the worry of dirt and such getting in/on the cup. Its crazy that they would even make a sippy without a lid, or even some way to cover the part they put in their mouth, ya know??!
Lilly goes to her father's today and I will get her back Saturday night. He gets to do Christmas with her Saturday and I get her on Sunday. Next year its going to be switched around.
I'm taking Tony to get a tattoo tomorrow and wrap presents. I have to remember to get all the gifts out of the closet here at work and take them home today. Saturday, we have dinner at hubby's uncle's house and a little gift exchange with some of the people there. Sunday, of course is Christmas. We'll do our thing in the morning, then head out to hubby's mom's house. When we are done there, we will go to my grandma's house and do Christmas with Dad and most of my brothers. Yesterday while I was out at the mall, I bought my brothers a game. Chris got a game for his computer, Tony got one for his XBox...its about zombies of course, and I got hubby another one for the PS3 I bought him. I also got my nephew and his (soon to be) step brothers one of those metal plates with their names on it that you put on bicycles. Yeah... my oldest brother is getting married........ on Christmas Eve!! I won't be there. There's no way I can be there. He never really told me or even invited me anyway. I heard it from Mom. I was a bride's maid in his first wedding... and not even invited to his second wedding. He has a church booked and everything, from what I hear from Mom.
Anyway.... Next week, probably Thursday, I'm going to Mom's to have Christmas with her and then to her mom's house to give grandma her stuff. After that, I'll go to my second ex-step dad's house to do Christmas with him.
A lot to do, I know, but its what I do. Holidays are actually a bit more tame these days than what they used to be. I always tried to fit everyone in on the same day and I only had Lilly for half the day. Now I have her the whole day, so that part is a little easier.
So super excited about Zach's first Christmas. I went way overboard this year with the gifts, but I'm happy and I know they will be too. Today was pajama day at the day care, so I put Zach in some pj's and sent him on his way. Babies in pajamas are some of the cutest things I've ever seen.
I wish all of you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!!! Stay safe, stay happy.

12 Days of Christmas

2011-12-21T16:17:00.001-05:00

My boss shared this with me today and it had me cracking up, so I wanted to share it with you. What if you really did get all the things listed in the 12 days of Christmas??

On the first day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                             69 Cash Avenue
                             Beaver Valley, Colorado

                             December 14, 1994

Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered
a partridge in a pear tree.  What a thoroughly
delightful gift. I couldn't have been more
surprised.

                    With deepest love and devotion,

                    Agnes

On the second day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 15, 1994

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Just imagine two turtle doves.  I'm just delighted
at your very thoughtful gift.  They are just
adorable.

                            All my love,

                            Agnes

On the third day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 16, 1994

Dearest John:

Oh!  Aren't you the extravagant one.  Now I really
must protest.  I don't deserve such generosity,
Three French hens. They are just darling but I must
insist, you've been too kind.

                            Love,

                            Agnes

On the fourth day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 17, 1994

Dear John,

Today the postman delivered 4 calling birds.  Now
really, they are beautiful but don't you think
enough is enough. You're being too romantic.

                            Affectionately,

                            Agnes

On the fifth day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 18, 1994

Dearest John:

What a surprise.  Today the postman delivered 5
golden rings; one for every finger.  You're just
impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds
squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

                            All my love,

                            Anges

On the sixth day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 19, 1994

Dear John:

When I opened the door there were actually 6 geese
a-laying on my front steps.  So, you're back to
the birds again, huh?  Those geese are huge.  Where
will I ever keep them?  The neighbors are
complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.

Please stop.

                            Cordially,

                            Agnes

On the seventh day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 20, 1994

John:

What's with you and those crazy birds?  7 swans
a-swimming. What kind of terrible joke is this?
There's bird crap all over the house, and they
never stop with the racket.  I can't sleep at
night and I'm a nervous wreck.  It's not funny.
So stop sending me all these birds!

                            Sincerely,

                             Agnes

On the eighth day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 21, 1994

O.K. Buster:

I think I prefer the birds.  What am I going to do
with 8 maids a-milking?  It's not enough with all
those birds and 8 maids a-milking, but they had to
bring their cows!  There is crap all over the lawn
and I can't move in my own house.  Just lay off me,
smart ass.

                            Agnes

On the ninth day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 22, 1994

Hey!  Shithead,

What are you?  Some kind of sadist?  Now there's 9
pipers playing.  And boy, do they play.  They've
never stopped chasing those maids since they got
here yesterday morning. They cows are getting upset,
and they're stepping all over those screeching
birds. What am I going to do?  The neighbors have
started a petition to evict me.

                            You'll get yours,

                            Agnes

On the tenth day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 23, 1994

You Rotten Sadist,

Now there's 10 ladies dancing. They've been messing

with those pipers all night long.  Now the cows can't
sleep and they've got the diarrhea. My living
room is a mess.  The Commissioner of
Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why this
building shouldn't be condemned.

I'm sicking the police on you.

                            One who means it.

On the eleventh day of Christmas...

Miss Agnes McHolstein
                            69 Cash Avenue
                            Beaver Valley, Colorado

                            December 24, 1994

Listen!  Looser,

What's with the 11 lords a-leaping on those maids     
and ladies. Some of those broads will never walk
again. All 23 of the birds are dead. They've been

trampled to death.  I hope you're satisfied,
you rotten, vicious swine.

                            Your sworn enemy,

                            Agnes

On the twelfth day of Christmas...

Law Offices
                          Badger, Bender and Cahole
                          303 Knave Street
                          Chicago, Illinois

                          December 25, 1994

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of 12
fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to
inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.
The destruction, of course, was total.  All
correspondence should come to our attention.
If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein
at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have
instructions to shoot you on sight.  With this
letter please find attached warrant for your
arrest.

                          Cordially,

                          Badger, Bender and Cahole

Disappointed

2011-12-21T07:53:00.000-05:00

I was not impressed at all by the houses we looked at. First of all, when we walked into the first house, there was a cage right by the front door with birds in it. A lady, that lives in the house we were going to look at next, came running over and barged into the house. She stayed there right beside the cage the entire time we looked at the house! I thought it was completely rude and inconsiderate. We had no privacy at all, we couldn't voice our thoughts about the house to each other or anything. This house was full of stuff. It was supposed to be empty, but the lady that barged in had stuff stored there. The person who lived in this house was her mother-in-law. The house smelled horrible of cigarettes, the kitchen was a mess, and the den was packed to the ceiling of stuff. We couldn't even walk into this room to look at it. There was a bunch of random holes in the walls all over the house. The bedrooms were small and the capet in the basement needed replaced along with the double doors downstairs too. The lady that lived there had dogs and apparently, they lived downstairs. The yard was the only nice thing about the house. There were a decks built almost all around the house and that would have been nice, but they were falling apart.
So, giving up on this house, we head next door... and the lady that had barged in to be with her birds came along too! This was her house we were going into and I guess she just had to be there too. There was a reason we made an appointment to come see the houses.... so no one would be home!! Anyway... this house is a mid-entry which I don't really like anyway. The downstairs looked ok. There was a small room with nice double doors that led to the back yard, which was a bit uneven, but big. The garage was ok too, but the decks downstairs were falling apart. We moved upstairs into the uneven kitchen. The floor was sloped a lot. The bedrooms were small, the bathrooms weren't impressive at all and the living room was a head shaker.
Come to find out that the properties between the houses were all screwed up. The white fenced that belonged to the mid-entry house was on the property of the first house and the sidewalk of the first house was half on the property of the mid-entry house. The big grown over garden of the first house was halfway over on the mid-entry houses property. It was a mess. When we went outside to discuss what we thought of the houses with our realtor, the lady with the birds followed us!!! We just told our realtor that we'll talk to her later and we left. We were both disappointed in the houses.

Christmas is only 4 days away!! Lilly goes to her father's tomorrow and she's going to have Christmas with him on Christmas Eve. I kinda hope he didn't get her the things I got her. The big stuff I got her was a Figit, a scooter and a Leapfrog Explorer with 2 games.
My little brother texted me last night wondering if I would take him to get another tattoo. This would be his second one; I took him to get his first one shortly after he turned 18 back in March. I told him the only day I could do it was Friday, but I need to make sure I have time to wrap gifts since that's really the only day I can do it. I think he's wanting to get the Celtic Knot in a triangle shape.
Tomorrow is our Christmas party here at work. We do a White Elephant gift exchange and the theme is drinking. Friday is the beginning of my vacation!

More houses

2011-12-20T10:02:00.003-05:00

I got more gifts wrapped last night. Under the tree is looking pretty good right now. Zach was asleep when I did it all, so we will see how he does today when we get home. I have most of my family wrapped and only hubby's niece's gifts done. I'm hoping to finish up the rest of the family tonight and only have the kids and hubby to do this Friday when I take off work.
Remember when I burnt myself last week on a pizza pan? Well... this is what it looks like now... its kind of gross. I've been putting medicine on it and taking care of it, but it still looks like this and still hurts. Zach scratched it the other day and I screamed like a little baby.

We are going to look at a couple houses today. I'm really not feeling up to it. Not getting that last house was a big loss for me. It was like going through a really hard break up and I'm just not ready to start dating yet, ya know? The houses look great from the pictures online, but they don't really look like something I would want to live in. One is a mid-entry. I really don't like mid-entries. You're always going to be going up or down stairs. The house looks nice though and its a 2 car garage with a big back yard that's a bit unlevel. The other house is right beside this one. Its the last house on a dead end street. One story with a big basement. Both houses actually have the exact same square footage. The yard is smaller and there's no garage on this one. There's a cemetery right next to the houses and a horse stable down the hill. The cemetery doesn't bother me, its the smell from the stables during the summer that I'm not too keen on. Maybe I'll fall in love with one of the houses and forget all about the other house we didn't get. I'll letcha know tomorrow.

6 DAYS!

2011-12-19T07:40:00.003-05:00

Friday we finally decorated our tree. It still looks bare in some places. I decided that I don't want to hang anything on the tree unless it has meaning or was hand made. I don't want regular bulbs on the tree. I have quite a few ornaments that Lilly made in Kindergarten. I might make one of these nights be a craft night and we make some more. We haven't really had any problems with Zach messing with the tree. At first he would walk up to it and just touch one pink light and one ornament. Every time we walked by he would poke at them.. the same ones. After an entire night of telling him "no," he has quit. I even wrapped 2 gifts and put them under the tree to see if he would bother them. So far he hasn't paid any attention. When a toy rolls under the tree, he stands there and looks at it for a bit, then he slowly reaches for it and quickly rolls it away. He knows. I think we'll be ok and I can actually start wrapping now.

Saturday was Lilly last soccer game. She did excellent. During the last quarter, Zach was getting restless, so I took him behind one of the nets and he played back there, kicking and chasing a ball. The coach gave Lilly a certificate. The games were always held in a church and that day the church had sheep for their nativity scene. We took the kids to go look at the sheep. (pictures are all going to be at the bottom this time) That night we went to hubby's sister's house to make chocolate covered pretzels and Oreos. We didn't get home until 10:00, way past Lilly and Zach's bedtime.

Sunday I took Lilly for a girls day out with my mom. We went shopping and out to eat. I didn't buy much and I helped Mom pick stuff out for my brothers. I got Lilly a new stocking since her is Cinderella and she's just a bit too old for that now. I got her a real pretty purple one. I also bought her a shirt to wear on Christmas instead of her wearing her dress. I figured she'd end up getting hot in her dress and her dressy shoes were too big anyway. I couldn't find any Christmas outfits I liked for Zach, so I'm going to look today at the mall. After I dropped Mom back off to her car I headed to hubby's sister's house again. He was there with Zach finishing up the chocolate project. Saturday we used white chocolate. Sunday was regular chocolate day.

Christmas is only 6 days away now. I'm excited, so excited, but I'm also starting to dread it a little bit. Where in the world am I going to put all the kids' toys? I was hoping for a house soon and we'd only have to deal with the mess for a short time, but now that there's no house in our near future, I'm scrambling trying to find room. Oh... I didn't mention this Friday. We didn't get the house. There was a last minute offer that came in from a different real estate agency and they won. I wanted that house so much. It was perfect. It had a yard, it was away from other houses, it has trees...lots of trees, a basement, big bedrooms, newly remodeled kitchen and a huge deck. It was perfect.

Naked tree

2011-12-16T07:31:00.001-05:00

We finally got our tree up last night, but its not decorated yet. We are going to do that today. There was just no time yesterday. I left work early to do some shopping, then I headed home to finish cleaning to make room for the tree. When hubby got home, we went to his parent's house so he and his dad could look at my car to try to fix it. The defroster wasn't working, but they fixed it. I left right after they were done to get Zach to take back to hubby so I can go back to the Y and watch Lilly at soccer practice. Day care gave me a book full of Zach's artwork. I have so many feet, finger and hand prints now. Its really cute. Here's one that I took out of the book to put in my office. Also... our naked tree and a picture of a snow globe Lilly drew for me....

After Lilly's practice, we rush home so everyone can eat and we can put up the tree. Well.............. we were having frozen pizza, I was getting a pizza out of the oven when I saw there was something in my way and I couldn't put the pan down. So, I reach with my other hand to move this object..... and I bump the burning hot pan that I was holding in my other hand. Here's what I did.

Here's what it looks like this morning.

It doens't hurt that much anymore. Looks like its going to leave a nice little scar. Right in the middle of the inside of my forearm.

Oh.. and yesterday while I was leaving work.. I had just pulled out of the parking garage and onto the road. I noticed a car coming through traffic and I thought, "Hmm... that looks like my old car. I bet its not though. I always think that its my car and then its not." But as it passed I looked at the back of the car, looking for a spoiler to prove that it wasn't my old car, but to my surprise, there was no spoiler but my fairy decals on the back window!! I saw my old car yesterday. I was so excited.

Tree's going up tonight...hopefully.

2011-12-15T07:28:00.000-05:00

Woohoo!! Last night we got things cleaned and moved around to make room for our tree. Zach's bed has been relocated and a few things have been stashed away. We are ready to get our tree up and decorate today. I'm so excited. I'm leaving work early to get some little things cleaned before we get all Christmas-y. I was going to go shopping, but the money I was relying on failed to show.
We got our second offer on the house put in yesterday. We qualified for a little higher of a loan so we just went $1,000 more on our offer, that way we can use the money we have saved up for closing costs and an inspection... and to buy curtains. Our apartment only has 2 big windows. One big double window in the living room and the same thing in the bedroom. there is an itty bitty window in the kitchen, but I don't count that one. So, yeah... we need to buy curtains.
I was actually thinking yesterday... we started the year off by having a baby. Getting a house would be a great way to end a wonderful year. Hopefully we'll hear something soon.

House?

2011-12-14T07:03:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got a call from our realtor wanting our best and highest offer...the problem is that hubby already offered our best and highest............ and then some. So I had to make a call to our mortgage lady to see if we can get a higher loan, but she won't be able to run our numbers until this morning. I feel like I can't breathe. We are sooooo close to owning a house. Our realtor told me there's us and one other offer on the house. At least there's not 10 offers or something and we aren't in a war, just a battle. My grandma said that she wanted to help us out, but I told her we wanted to be able to do this on our own. I don't want to take money from her that she might need later, too. We have to put our new offer in by noon today. Then... hopefully we will know by Friday.. or Monday at the latest (I'm hoping) if the house is ours or not. I'm so nervous.
How many days are left? 11 now? Wow!!! Tomorrow I'm going to leave work a bit early so I can head out to the store. There's one more thing I want to get hubby, Lilly and Zach. I also have to pick something up for hubby's nephew and cousin and get some groceries. I need to figure out how many picture frames I need and what sizes soon. I always have given out pictures of Lilly for Christmas and this year I have two little ones to give pictures of away. We still don't have our tree up yet. It kind of really makes me sad. 11 days and no tree. Next year, the tree and decorations are going up right after the first of December. Hubby's mom sent me a picture Monday night of her tree all decorated.
Still no snow either. Its odd to not have any snow this time of the year. We've had flurries once or twice, but nothing stayed. My mom got a little bit of snow a week or so ago. It was just enough to cover the ground. So, it looks like we aren't having a white Christmas this year. No biggie. One less thing I have to worry about I guess. It can snow the week after while I'm off work so I can take the kids out to play in it.

Visit from Santa

2011-12-12T07:58:00.000-05:00

Its been a busy weekend! Saturday we got Lilly back after her soccer game. She did a fantastic job too. You can tell she is getting way better and understands the game more. She was passing the ball and helping out her team instead of being a ball hog and she was still scoring goals. She scored about 4 this time.

After her game we went to hubby's parent's house so he could help his dad unjam a gun. Lilly wrote her letter to Santa and then we played. That night we went to the fire station for the Christmas dinner. Everyone was dressed up. Hubby was in his uniform for the fire station, Lilly had on her Santa dress from last year that still fits and her new shoes I let her have as an early Christmas present, Zach was wearing black overall bibs and a fire truck onsie, I was in my dress pants and a nice red sweater. We get there and I get Zach set up in his high chair and then I spend the next 10 minutes trying to get to my seat beside him, but people were in my way. By the time it had cleared enough for me to get by, someone took my seat! Now... would you sit beside a baby in a high chair when the only other person next to him is a 6 year old girl? Who's going to feed him? Would you? NO? Really... then why in the world would you sit there?! I was upset over that. After the lady got up to get food, I moved Zach to the end of the table, on the other side of Lilly where there was room for me. Then I picked him up and the 3 of us went to get food.

While we ate there was a slide show of the fire fighters playing, and you could tell who put it together. Some of the wives did the whole thing and just about every other picture was their husband or their kids. Ok.. I'm going to skip ahead a bit. Santa came at the end of the night. I had to change Zach since he wet himself, so we ended up being the last people in line. Lilly got up there, no problem, but Zach was not a fan. I was told that he was smiling when he first sat on Santa's knee and started crying when Santa turned his head to look at him. I didn't get to see him smiling. I had people walking and standing in front of me even though I was right in front of Santa with my camera out. So.... here's some pics...

Sunday we went to a birthday party. It was at one of those bouncy house places. Zach wasn't a fan of the bouncy houses. Lilly played hard and Zach just walked around and chased balloons. Santa was here too and I was hoping Zach would like him this time since he was so tired the night before. NOPE! Here's some pictures from there too.

See these pictures and more if you check out my flickr page

How many days left?

2011-12-09T07:53:00.000-05:00

CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!
Ok, I've been dying to scream that and now that I have it out of my system I feel better.
I had this idea for my grandparents. For my dad's parents, I want to get them soup bowls that have a little place built in for crackers. I have found some online, but I have yet to secure them. They eat soup seriously all the time. Its actually a toss up between those bowls and some other bowls that look like they have the Campbell soup label around them. For my mom's parents I was thinking about making them something. I was going to put some lights and potpourri in a Mason jar. It doesn't seem like much, but its pretty and I know they will like it. My grandma cans her own veggies. I just gotta get all the stuff together and find the time to do it.
I heard a lot of bad news yesterday; another shooting at Virginia Tech and a 5 alarm fire in St. Louis. Hubby went to a funeral last night of a volunteer fire fighter that died on duty. He was looking over a bridge to locate a fire (railroad ties had caught fire) and he fell a few days ago. The guy who actually set fire to the tracks turned himself in Wednesday.
This weekend is full of stuff to do. Tomorrow, Lilly has a soccer game and I get her back after that from her father. Then, we have a Christmas dinner to go to at the fire station and Santa is going to be there. I bought Lilly some dressy shoes, they are adorable, for her to wear tomorrow. She hasn't seen them yet. I wrapped them up and I'm going to tell her its an early Christmas present. I know she'll be excited. I just hope they fit. Sunday, we have a double birthday party to go to at one of those inflatable jumping places.... and Santa is going to be there too. I definitely have to charge my camera tonight.

UGH

2011-12-08T08:45:00.000-05:00

Tuesday afternoon, I noticed that the house we want was up on a website, but not one that can be trusted. This website has listed houses that weren't actually for sale before. So, to be safe, I sent our realtor an email and she said that it was going to be officially listed on Wednesday. I asked her if we could meet and we set up a meeting for Wednesday at 4:00.
Wednesday morning, I wake up sick. I go do my thing and when I come back to bed, I nudge hubby and tell him he has to be the one to take the kids to the Y and that he needs to get up soon or he'll be late to work. Long story short, he was late. I ended up laying in bed all day and I was so sore. My muscles ached and my joints were stiff. My bed and pillow felt like I was laying on bricks. Then, around 2:00 I get up and make myself take a hot shower so I won't look too gross when I meet with the realtor. I was not going to miss that meeting.
Me and hubby get there and we sign our contract on the house and we make an offer. If they decide to go with us, he will continue further. If they don't decide to go with us, I will cry. This is the furthest we've ever gotten to owning a house. My fingers are crossed. The realtor said that there has been a lot of interest in this house. I don't want to get too excited in case we don't get it. I just really want this house.

Holiday time!

2011-12-06T14:40:00.002-05:00

I love this time of the year... between Thanksgiving and Christmas when the air is cool, leaves are falling off the trees, Christmas decorations are up and Christmas songs are on the radio. It all just puts me in such a good mood. I smile while I stand in long lines in stores and I wave to my neighboring car while at a red light. I guess you could say that I am definitely in the Holiday spirit.

There are so many lights that are up in my area now and me and Lilly are loving them. Zach doesn't really pay much attention, but I doubt he can see much from his car seat anyway. There are a few places close to home that are doing a light show that I would love to take the kids to. I've only been to one and that was 7 years ago when I was pregnant with Lilly. 7 is the magic number, its time to go again!

We don't have any decorations up, we still don't even have a spot to put our tree! I did a little cleaning Sunday and told hubby that the rest was his and he has yet to do anything with it. I always like to have Christmas decorations up the first weekend of December, but hubby likes to wait until the last possible minute. Next year, I'm not going to wait for him to decide he wants to do it. Next year we will have a house and have our stuff there instead of being stashed in someone else's garage or my storage building. Next year, I will just start putting stuff up and if he wants to join in, he can. Of course I won't decorate the tree. I'll just bring the box up and sit it in the middle of the floor. I won't even put it up, ok, unless he takes forever. Putting it up is his and Lilly's thing and one day will be Zach's too. I don't want to take that away from him. I guess what I'm trying to say is...I am dying to decorate. I want to decorate. I want our house to be all Christmas-y. I want lights on our porch. I want our tree up. I want to be able to start wrapping gifts.

Yes, the countdown is ON. 18 days and some odd hours until Christmas! I do believe I have gone a bit overboard this year. Last year, I spent around $800 for everyone and Lilly got a lot of things, but this year she got more and Zach has just as many and I'm still shopping. I've spent over $600 on the kids this year!!! I think I'm just too excited. Ok... the $600 isn't just for Christmas, I bought them some birthday stuff too. Then between everyone else, I spent probably another $500 and I'm still not done. I need to go get picture frames for some family members to put pictures of the kids in it and if possible, try to figure out something to get my grandparents other than pictures. They are all I have left, if I'm going to get them something else. I can't seem to find anything.

What happened to this year? It just flew right on by and I barely noticed, it seems. This time last year, I was huge. I was pregnant. I was waiting the arrival of my beautiful baby boy. And now, I'm buying him a rocking horse for his first birthday. He is one of the main reasons I'm so excited this year for Christmas. The first Christmas is always so wonderful. He is almost one year old! Its been a busy year. Its been an exhausting year...and I can't believe its almost over. We've had parties, t-ball games, soccer games, picnics, fireworks, camping trips, fishing adventures, dirty diapers in the middle of the woods, a new car, excitement over a house, tears over a house, doctor appointments, shots, sickness, funerals, arrivals of more babies, costumes, cookouts, a couple weddings, sunburns, a visit to a museum, a talent show, spit up on all my clothes and thousands of pictures. I wonder what 2012 has in store.........

Favorite toys

2011-12-05T10:31:00.002-05:00

SECOND POST OF THE DAY

I remember growing up I had a few toys that I loved and adored. First, I had this stuffed Koala bear that I had named Dollar. I remember the day I named it. I was trying to name it Daughter, but it came out as Dollar, and so it was. I had to have been 3 or so. I loved that thing. I carried it everywhere. I can't recall what exactly happened to it, but it disappeared. Shortly after that I got an orange stuffed cat I named Orange, original I know. I also got a Cabbage Patch doll. I don't remember her name, but I didn't have her long before I grabbed a pen and gave her chicken pox. I had Orange until I was about 7 when my parents divorced and I lost him in the move. After that, I don't really remember having any kind of attachment to a toy or anything of the sort. I do remember that year after my parents divorced the only present I got for Christmas was a little Mickey Mouse piano. I taught myself how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Happy Birthday on that thing. It kept me occupied through some tough times.

I guess after that my radio and walkman were my favorite things. That and my journal where I wrote endless poems and short stories. Those things got me through the next few years.

Anyway, I bring this up because I see on tv where kids have strong attachments to toys or have security blankets and such. I don't think I was so attached to any toy that I couldn't function without it. Thankfully neither of my kids have a strong attachment... yet anyway. Zach's still a little young to know for sure.

Lilly's favorite stuffed animal is a little butterfly my best friends gave her last year for Christmas. She sleeps with it, but she doesn't NEED it to sleep. Other than that, I don't think she has another favorite toy or anything. She plays with all her toys equally.

Zach has recently become attached to one of Lilly's toys. Its the Fisher Price laugh and learn dog. I got him one for Christmas, so at least I know he'll like it. Lilly's had hers since her first Christmas. He also loves this other dog from V-tech. It hangs on his bed and when you push its nose it lights up and sings. I can't wait until Christmas when he gets more toys. When he was just a couple months old, he was very attached to this blue dog that had that crinkle stuff in it. I always made sure I had that thing wherever we went. I guess he grew out of it or forgot about it.

Oh, Lilly had a blanket. I remember now. It was one that the hospital gave us when she was born. It was white, pink and blue. She called it her blue blanket. She had to have that thing to sleep with until she was about 4... even for naps. How could I have forgotten about that thing? My youngest brother also had a blanket he needed. He didn't get it until he was about 5, it was an Elmo blanket. He still has it, but I don't think he still sleeps with it.

What about you? Have you had a favorite toy that you just absolutely loved?

Kids were sick

2011-12-05T07:16:00.000-05:00

Thursday I had to leave work early again because Zach was sick. Day care called and said that he was vomiting, so I had to leave. I got there and took him home. He threw up all over himself before I could get him out of the car. I gave him Pedialite and it came right back up. He vomited about 2 more times in the house and then he was done. Friday I kept him home to keep an eye on him and he was fine the entire day. He even ate food and kept it down with no problems.
Saturday at 6:30, Lilly wakes up and she's sick. Thankfully I didn't tell her I was going to take her to breakfast with Santa. She was so upset that she was going to miss her soccer game. Luckily hubby came home Friday night, so I had some help this time. It was so hard keeping Zach away from Lilly. He sure does love his sissy. 12 hours later, she stopped throwing up. Sunday everyone was fine.
I'm hoping everyone stays fine and I can work a full day. Other than everyone being sick, there really was nothing else that happened and I'm too tired to think of any thing else to write about right now. I swear I only got 3 hours of sleep last night and its been that way for a few days now. Between hubby's coughing from his cold, the kids being sick, Zach just waking up and my brain just wanting to talk and talk, I haven't slept in a while.
Here's some pictures of the kids from yesterday. It was pretty outside and they were feeling fine, so we went out for a little bit.

See her front teeth there... she calls those her vampire teeth. They grew like that. I belive it was from her sippy cups. She had the hard ones and some certain someones kept giving them to her way after she needed them.

DECEMBER!!!!!!

2011-12-01T10:39:00.000-05:00

I know I'm running a bit behind on posting. I've been running out of time lately. I left work early Tuesday so Zach could get the second dose of his flu shot and I left early yesterday too. I've been a busy bee. Lilly has soccer practice today, so I'll probably stay at work later than usual. Practice is at day care, so I don't have to worry about getting her anywhere.
Tuesday... what did we do Tuesday. We played all night. I don't even remember turning the tv on until the kids were in bed. Zach's getting good at playing hide and seek. He likes to find you. Lilly goes from one room to the other and he follows. He'll look for you until he finds you or you pop out somewhere and he giggles every time. I love it! Zach's flu shot was Tuesday too. I left work early to go get him and take him to the doctor. He had fun in the waiting room playing with the other kids and rolling the lid to his sippy cup around on the floor. The shot took 2 seconds and he didn't even make a noise, didn't even make any kind of face either.
Wednesday I left work early again. Took the kids to Taco Bell for some tacos. Zach ate an entire cheese roll up all by himself. Then we headed to Walmart to shop for a Christmas gift to give hubby. Lilly picked out a hat with his favorite NASCAR driver on it and I decided to put the kids name on a PS3 game I bought him. Hubby ended up surprising us and coming home around 8:00 last night. He's been out hunting and we haven't seen him in what feels like forever. He talked to Lilly a bit, she was already in bed. Then he played with Zach. We sat and watch tv. He told me about his week and how he feels sick. He did get one deer. I told him when he left last week that he couldn't come home unless he got a deer. hahaha. Maybe he thought I was serious since he came home the day he got one. He's heading back out today to his uncle's "farm" and won't be back until Saturday. Hubby got to move Dee last night. He put the elf on top of Lilly's tv. She didn't find him this morning. She'll be excited to find him when she gets home today.
Saturday I was hoping to be able to take the kids to the city parade, but Lilly has a soccer game at 11:30 and the parade starts at 10:00. There's no way we can make it to the soccer game in time if we go. Luckily, though, the day care is doing breakfast with Santa. I did this last year with Lilly before we headed out to the parade. You go to the day care, eat breakfast, the kids can do some crafts and get their picture with Santa. I'm not 100% sure we are going to do that yet.

Is it time to start the countdown?

2011-11-29T09:26:00.000-05:00

My goal this week is to clean up and rearrange the apartment so we have somewhere to put our Christmas tree. I don't think its going to happen. I just don't have the time.... unless I want to stay up really late after the kids go to bed to work on it. It'll be easier when hubby gets back from hunting...but that won't be until Saturday.

I'm pretty much done with all my shopping. I just have my grandparents, my step brother's kid, my oldest brother and his girlfriend left to shop for. I think I'll just get them all some ornaments or the tree. There's this new store in the mall that sells nothing but Christmas ornaments. There's Elvis, Betty Boop, hunting ones, high heel shoes, Charlie Brown, The Grinch, wine glasses, pianos, sports, the Beatles... oh, the list just goes on and on. I did buy some already. I got my mom Rudolph on a sleigh, my step dad Walter from Jeff Dunham, Lilly and Zach just got 2 little balls with snowmen on them and their names with the year. We still have to get Zach's first Christmas ornament, but I don't want to get one without hubby.

Work is already decorating for the holidays. There is light up reindeer outside and trees inside. Here's a picture of the trees.

Hubby's mom gave me a book and elf. Its called Elf on the Shelf and Lilly loves it. The elf magically shows up around Thanksgiving and watches you all day. Then, at night he leaves and reports to Santa about if you've been good or bad and then comes back in the morning. Every morning he is in a different spot. No one can touch him or he'll lose his magic and will never come back. You can tell him your wishes, what you want for Christmas and he'll go back and tell Santa that too. I put him up on top of the dresser mirror Sunday night so he'll be there when Lilly came home on Monday. She was so excited to see him. She couldn't wait to try to find him this morning. He was in the entertainment center right beside the TV. So, it gives me a new tradition to begin with my kids. You get to name the elf too. Lilly named him "Dee" so Zach could say his name too... that's all Zach says anymore. He says 'Dee' and 'sissy' and that's about it. He use to say a lot more. Oh, I wish you could have seen his face yesterday when Lilly walked into the nursery with me to get Zach. He stood up and pointed and yelled, "Sissy!" over and over again. He's walking a lot more too. He was all over the apartment yesterday.

Last night, after I put Lilly to bed I had Zach in the living room watching tv. He crawled off the couch and was headed to the bedroom. I said NO and he stopped... still on his hands and knees. I sat there and watch him. After a few seconds he lifted his knee up to take off crawling and I said NO again. He stopped just like before. A few more seconds passed and he lifted his knee up again. I waited to see what he was going to do. He started to crawl away very slowly. I said NO again. He stopped, looked back at me and laughed. A couple seconds passed and he started to go again, before I could tell him NO he took off like a rocket to the bedroom. By the time I got in there, he was already standing up beside Lilly's bed. I grabbed him and told him "No, sissy go night night" and took him back into the living room. He tried it again, slowly crawling toward the bedroom. This time when I told him NO he stopped and laid down on a pillow. It was so comical.

I don't really know exactly what I'm going to get into this week with the kids. We'll see, I guess.

Shopping is done

2011-11-28T08:55:00.001-05:00

Wednesday night was spent making cheesecakes and trying to pack everything for Zach for 2 days and make sure I had everything I needed for Friday. I wasn't going to go home after I left in the morning.

Thanksgiving went ok. Its really crowded at my moms moms house. I only had 2 of my brothers there. My oldest and my youngest, Josh and Donavan. Zach ate sooo much. The kids and I stayed there for about 2 hours before we moved on to my other grandma's house. Waaay less crowded there. Dad was in a mood. He hardly said anything and when he did, it was kind of rude...but that's Dad. Chris was there and in a good mood, as long as he was away from Dad. Grandma had burns on her arm from cooking, I felt so bad for her. Tony had to work and couldn't be there until after 4... but by then I was going to be gone. Lilly ate a little bit, Zach wouldn't and I gobbled down a deviled egg, a bit of turkey and some corn. Chris was very excited about the cheesecake I made. I made it for him and Tony, a chocolate chocolate chip cheesecake. That's right. Josh showed up later.

So about 3:30 I left to go to hubby's sister's house the same time Chris left to go get Tony from work. Zach fell asleep on the way there. As soon as we walked through the door, I put Zach's carseat beside a big chair and I crashed while Zach slept. Lilly played with the kids, she was too full to even try to eat anything. We woke up and spent a bit of time with hubby since he's been gone hunting. Zach ate some dessert and I stuffed my face with more food. Lilly got a rug burn sliding down the carpeted stairs on her tummy. We stayed until about 6:00 and I gathered my kids and went back to my grandma's house where my brothers were. Tony was still there and Dad was brooding in the corner. Tony told him that he wanted to stay until I got there, but when I got there, Tony announced that him and Chris were going out. Dad just stood up and walked out the door.

Lilly's father showed up shortly after and CJ too. I said my goodbye to Lilly and warned her father about the rug burn. I gave grandma instructions on Zach, set up his pack-n-play, organized my go bag, and headed out the door with CJ.

We got to Target about 8:30 and wasn't too far back, but I was surprised at how many people were lined up already. We were about 150-200 people back, maybe. About an hour into it, Chris and Tony comes rolling up. They say there were at Walmart just to see the crowd and were going to go to a movie. Chris saw me shivering and got a coat out of his car for me. I was wearing one, but it was REALLY cold.

10:30 I get a call from my uncle saying that grandma is sick and I need to come get Zach. Target wasn't going to open until midnight. I called hubby's sister and asked her if she could watch Zach whenever she is done since she was just going to Walmart and then going home. She said she would and she would meet me at my house with him when she's done. So... me and CJ got out of line at our great spot and headed to grandma's house. Zach was asleep. I got him dressed and in the car without waking him up. On my way home I called hubby's brother-in-law and told him that his wife agreed to watch Zach but I was wondering if I could just go ahead and bring him there. He said it was fine. CJ went to my house to wait for me while I treaded on. Hubby's 12 year old niece was still awake and she said she'd take care of Zach for me. I gave her instructions, set up his pack and play and told her to call me if she had any questions or problems. Knowing her mother would be home soon, I left without any worries.

I meet CJ at my house and we head BACK to Target. By this time its already open, its about 12:20 when we pull into the parking lot and I see red flashing lights. We get out of the car and there's 2 ambulances and a fire truck and a few cop cars with more coming. We jump in line and we hear that a guy had a seizure. We later learn that he had a heart attack as soon as he got in the doors and only 3 people stopped to help him. He hit his head when he fell and was bleeding, and people were just going around him. He was in need of help, having a heart attack and yet toys are more important to these people. I still want to cry just thinking about it. I wasn't there when it happened, but I know damn well I would have tried to do something. I don't know CPR, but CJ does. I would have tried to do something. A nurse, a doctor and one employee tried to help him. He was taken to the hospital and later passed away. By the time we got in the doors, he was in the ambulance.

There were no carts left for us to grab and we forgot to grab our shopping bags. No biggie, we thought. Luckily I got hubby's mom to get hubby's gift for me since I had to leave Target line and there was no way I could get there in time to get the PS3. We didn't spend too much time shopping. We first headed to the toys and grabbed a firepit on our way there. I got Lilly's crayon maker and ran to where Zach's activity table was supposed to be. It was gone. We went to the movies and I grabbed Transformers 3, Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Red. CJ got New Moon, Eclipse and a few more. I decided I wanted to go back to the toys to look for the table. I found an employee who went and got one for me! I got everything I wanted to get at Target. We got in line and it zig zagged through the isles. About an hour passed before we made it to checkout.

We hopped in the car and drove to Walmart. CJ's main thing to get there was a crockpot, but it was all gone. I got hubby a game for his PS3. I got Lilly some tattoos to put in her stocking and some zoobles. Zach got some balls and cars. The board game I was wanting for Lilly was gone and so was the Monster High dolls that was on sale. We were in Walmart about an hour before we gave up on looking for stuff. I found a crock pot for CJ in one of the carts that was by the registers full of stuff no one wanted. Turns out it wasn't the one that was on sale. While I was going through the carts, I get a text from my 12 year old baby sitter saying Zach is awake and won't go back to sleep. I told her to feed him, rock him, change him and sing to him. (He was having a bad day and a tooth was bothering him, usually just a bottle will calm him down) 10 minutes later she told me he went to sleep. We leave Walmart a bit disappointed and go to Toys-r-Us for one toy on my list for Zach for his birthday. Its originally $30, but was on sale for $12.49. We pull in the parking lot and there's not a lot of cars and I don't see a line when I look inside. We go in and look around a bit and I grab Zach's toy. Then we try to go to the registers...... and we find the line. I told CJ that this toy isn't that important, put it down and we leave.

We got to Kolh's next. That's where I was going to get a lot of toys for Zach. Fisherprice toys were on a great sale here. I got him a laugh and learn puppy, a laugh and learn soccer ball, a music book, something else I can't remember and Lilly a Pictionary card game. The line was long, but it went by fast. (Oh, and I was giving out Thank You cards and candy canes to all the cashiers who checked me out. The lady at Kolh's seemed very happy to get hers. CJ was giving hers out to any employees who helped us out)

After Kolh's we went to the mall. I wanted to get a stacking toy for Zach at JC Penny's, but they were all out by the time we got there. We got there at 4:50 and they opened at 4:00. Then we walked down to Gamestop to pick up a game for hubby..... then we left the mall. $1.75 to park for that.

K-mart was next. We got to them a little after 5:30 and they opened at 5:00. The lines were already gone. I got quite a lot here. I got Lilly a little purple sock monkey, a magic kit, some mighty beans, more zoobles, a monster high doll and walkie talkies that looked like cell phones. I got Zach a ball and my nephew a light saber.

After K-Mart we went and got breakfast at McDonalds, then back to K-Mart so CJ could pick up some clocks. Then we went to Big Lots and all I got there was a marshmallow gun for mom's boyfriend's grandson and stacking cups for Zach. Then we went back to K-Mart so CJ could get 2 more clocks. Then we went to Rite Aide and got our wrapping paper (buy one get 2 free) and Zach's rocking horse.

By this time my right eye was red and burning. I thought I had pink eye, so we called it quits and headed back to my house. We carried all my stuff upstairs, CJ left and I went to go get Zach.

Saturday, hubby's sister sends me a text to ask if I'll watch her 2 littlest ones while she takes her 12 year old to get a CT scan. She went ice skating with friends and hit her head real hard and was having bad headaches. After I babysat, I went to my mother-in-laws house to pay her for hubby's PS3. Hubby called and said he was home, so after Zach woke up from his nap, I went home.

Whew.... here's some pictures from this weekend....

Here's a bruise I on my left arm I noticed after I got home Friday. I believe its from carrying toys through Target.

Here's how far back I was at Target before I left to go get Zach.

Lilly's with my uncles phone...with a bro-stash.

Zach at hubby's sister's house having breakfast.

Zach falling asleep during breakfast

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-23T16:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all who are celebrating tomorrow. I will be out until Monday again. I don't really have much to say right now. I've been doing nothing but planning for Friday. Watch, with my luck everything will go bad. I'll try to take pictures of the crowds and post them on here Monday with my story of how I survived. I'm not even thinking about Thanksgiving. I haven't even gone to the store to get the stuff I need to make my cheesecakes I'm taking to my family's houses. I've even been having dreams of Black Friday. I'm alway in line at Target and something goes wrong. Last night I woke up after my dream and then that's all I could think of. I couldn't go back to sleep for hours. I finally told my brain to think of something else... and you want to know what it decided to think of?... What would I do if zombies attacked?!!!!!!!! Really? That's what you think about? Crazy brain. No sleep makes me think of weird things I guess.
So here's the run down of what I expect to happen. Thursday, be at my moms moms house at noon. Eat. Leave and go to my dads moms house. Eat. Leave and try to be at my sister-in-laws house around 4 or 5. Eat. Get kids to grandma's no later than 9. Meet my friend at grandma's house. Wait for Lilly's father to pick her up. Spend a few more minutes with Zach. Leave to go get in line at Target. Target opens at midnight. Shop. Go to Walmart. Shop. Go to Kohls. Shop. Go to Toys-r-Us for one toy. Breakfast? Go to Sporting Goods store to look around. Dollar store, shop. Kmart, shop. Big Lots, shop. Go to mall. Coffee. Shop in at least 4 stores there. Eat lunch. Rite Aide, get wrapping paper... its going to be buy one roll get two free. Can't beat that. Another dollar store, shop. Magic Mart, shop. If we still have any energy and its not too late, we might go to the movies to see Breaking Dawn. I doubt we will make it there. After we are done I go to grandma's to get Zach and head home to unpack all the things and figure out where I'm going to put them. Then, I'll probably go out to dinner with mother-in-law like last year. Go home and try to get Zach to sleep at a decent time.
Busy. Gonna drink lots of coffee. See ya on Monday!!

Vacation is over

2011-11-21T13:49:00.001-05:00

So, my vacation was uneventful. I didn't really do much. I wanted to clean, but I hardly got anything like that done.

Hubby took me and Zach to Toys-r-Us and we shopped a little for Christmas. We got a lot of things that aren't going on sale on Black Friday. We even picked up something for Lilly's birthday.

My bff and I have been super planning for Friday. I have babysitters, color coded sheets, a list of things I'm definitely going to buy and where, a list of things that I might get if I have money...its things that aren't on sale that can wait, a list of things we need to survive and my go bag packed. My go bag has all my survival gear in it... hand sanitizer, pens, paper, snacks....things like that. Super excited! Our plan is to line up at Target really early while a lot of people are at Walmart and Toys-r-Us. We'll get a good spot there, hopefully.

I had bought some colored cookie dough from a fundraiser Lilly was doing for the Y and we finally made some last night. The blue cookie dough turns your mouth colors.

This is a picture of the cookies befor I baked them. Still ooey gooey.

Lilly has been doing great with soccer. Her first game, she scored 5 goals. Her second game she scored 3, and she was feeling sick. They were also alternating her team members in and out. There were way more kids from her team that showed up that day. Here's a pic of her first game. You see all the blue kids on the left...well Lilly is the first kid in the red to the right of the blue. She's running.

Went to Lilly's school on Thursday for the Thanksgiving lunch. It seemed more organized this year. I think less parents showed up for Lilly's class than last year, so we went through the line pretty quick. I sat with Lilly, Zach and 3 of Lilly's friends. About 5 minutes before we were going to get up, hubby's nephew came to sit with us. I had lunch with 4 first graders, a second grader and a baby. Zach ate all my turkey and a bit of Lilly's pumpkin pie. I think he's going to enjoy Thanksgiving. We have 3 houses to go to.

I came to work after my vacation to find out that they are wanting to cut my overtime. Without my overtime I can't pay day care. I don't know what they expect me to do. A raise has been up in the air for nearly a year now and nothing has happened with it. I need something now. I need something quick. I can't go on like this. I wish I lived in a world where money didn't matter as much as it does.

15 days!!!

2011-11-10T09:53:00.000-05:00

Oh, there's just so much planning. I'm still obsessing over Black Friday especially since Walmart has finally up their ad out. They, along with Toys r us so far, are opening at 10pm on Thanksgiving. We are going to have to start even earlier this year. I'm afraid that the things I really want are going to be gone. I don't think I can make it there in time to get hubby's gift and its the cheapest at Walmart so far. I'm still waiting for Target to release theirs. Maybe theirs will be as good. I just don't know when I'm going to leave hubby's sister's house for Thanksgiving and even then I have to drive 20 miles away to drop Zach off to my grandma and Lilly off to her father. I think I'm going to ask hubby's mom is she can get hubby's gift for me if I give her the money. She is a Black Friday junkie too.
So, I am taking a vacation next week. Well... I guess if offically starts tomorrow. I won't be back until the 21st, so there will be no update to this blog or my other one.. http://smilesareeverywhere.blogspot.com/
You can bet your hiney that I'll be freaking out about shopping during that time off. I'll be freaking out until its all over.
Well.. take care everyone and be sure to come back on the 21st for a new post!

16 days!

2011-11-09T07:04:00.001-05:00

I threw an idea at my best friend, CJ yesterday. I was wanting to surprise her, but I needed her input. I want to make shirts for Black Friday. Hers would be green and mine would be purple, since that's our favorite colors, and it would say something clever on the front and then say "Black Friday 2011" on the back. We finally figured up all the years, and this year is our 5 year.... anniversary? Is that what you would call it? An anniversary? Well....that's what I'm going to call it since I can't come up with a better word. If you have a better word, leave it in the comments for me. 5 years. Wow..... its hard to believe. We've come a long way since that first year. We wasn't at all prepared on our first year. We didn't know what to expect. Huge lines, angry people, snow, rain, 3 hour waits, no sleep, getting lost in the crowd... we enjoy every single second of it now. I am more prepared this year. I have planned much better this time. I have pictures of the things I'm going to buy, that way I can just show CJ what to be on the lookout for instead of saying something like, "Can you help me find a VTech activity ball or the Loving Family Dollhouse rooms... I still need the parents room and try to find the van too." Pictures are much better. It helps me too.
The countdown is ON....16 days until we go shopping!
I am taking a vacation next week. Nothing special, I just need to take it or I lose it. I have next week, Black Friday and the entire week after Christmas scheduled off. Saves me on day care too. I do still have to pay for Lilly even though she's not going to be there. I was upset at first, but the front desk lady explained that the day care keeps the kids on snow days and early outs without charging extra. Not such a big deal anymore. I was putting that money back for Christmas, but Lilly is cheaper at the Y than Zach is. Oh, I also have this Friday off. Its Veteran's Day here and its a Federal holiday, so I stay home in hopes of sleeping in and probably visiting my great-grandpa's grave. He was a veteran and it would have been his birthday as well. I usually pick up my grandma and we take him flowers and sing him Happy Birthday. I won't have Lilly this year though.
I had a weird dream last night, in the short time I actually slept. A guy that I went to high school with and have kept in contact with in real life was in my dream. He wrote some kind of speech and I was going to read it in front of a bunch of people but the speech was horrible and I was booed off the stage. I ran to my house in into my bedroom, but it was my bedroom from the house I lived in when I was 13. There was also a dog somewhere in there and cold coffee as well. I remember Lilly running off with my coffee toward the end of my dream, but by then I was at my grandma's house. Weird.

What do you want to be?

2011-11-08T08:46:00.001-05:00

My daughter has said that she wants to be a heart doctor, but recently it has changed to an animal doctor. I know that her mind will change several more times as the years pass, but I will support her no matter what she chooses. She is a very outgoing little girl, but a little shy at times. She makes friends very easily and has a memory like an elephant. She is a very smart child, but she can't sit still very long to study. Last night I was quizzing her on her spelling words and she got every one right, but she had to dance around and roll all over the bed to do it. I'm glad that she's active, but it worries me a bit. She is great at sports, so a part of me can see her as a professional athlete.

I wonder what Zach will be like. He's already a huge flirt and so very happy. He's adventurous and curious. I bet he will want to be something great too. A doctor? An athlete? A fireman? Only time will tell.

I've given some thought about going back to school. I don't know what I would go for though. I use to want to be a teacher, but I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe only time will tell with that too.

Today I'm a very proud mama. I finally remembered to bring the coffee cup Lilly painted for me to work. I love carrying it around and showing it off.

Uh oh... you can kind of see my messy desk...
Here's some picture of the kids playing yesterday. Zach was trying to eat his toy and it was just so funny!

Yes... my kids are my life. They make me so very happy, that's why I talk about them so much. They make my life interesting. They give me something to look forward to each day. They make me smile and laugh. I didn't want to be that parent that constantly talked about her kids... but I do. I try not to when in actual conversation with a person face to face. Its difficult

My kids are growing up

2011-11-07T07:36:00.002-05:00

I sold my car. I'm happy and sad at the same time. I'm glad that's its no longer in my way and now we have some money from it, but it was my car. The first car I paid off. I've had that car longer than I've been with my husband. Well...its gone now. We got $1,500 out of it. I got $200 of that money to put toward my Christmas fund.
Zach says sissy now. He follows Lilly through the house saying, "Sissy" over and over again. For the longest time he was hissing, like a snake, but I guess that was just him trying to say sissy. He doesn't say mom or dad much anymore. He does babble a lot. He takes his socks off now too. Its kind of frustrating to get him all dressed up and then turn around to see him barefoot. Cute, but frustrating.
My bff has learned that she is indeed moving to New York. She was here in West Virginia, then she moved to Virginia. There was a scare that she was going to move to California, but its New York now. Her husband has a great opportunity up there. I just can't believe that she's moving farther away. Good news is that she is coming in for some Black Friday shopping. I think I'm more excited than she is this year. Last year, she was so excited and I was just sort of there and didn't really get excited about it until we were all in the mess of things.
The weather was nice this weekend so I took the kids out to play for a bit. Here's some cute pictures...

Lilly's dropping handfuls of leaves around Zach in the last picture. I thought he would love it, but he didn't seem all that interested.
I was watching a few shows on the DVR yesterday that kind of made me sad. It was about the parents realizing that their kids are growing up. Made me sad because I know that mine are going to. It was the episode of The Middle where Sue goes to some Halloween parties and wears clothes that's in style and then the episode of Modern Family where Phil takes Haley to visit college. That's going to be me one day. Time is flying by. It seriously seems just like yesterday that I was in the hospital having Lilly yelling at her father to quit talking. Great memories. Now she's almost 7!! I'm getting her a real camera for her birthday, well...I've already bought it. She plays sports. I'm very proud of her, but I don't want her to grow up. While we were watching the shows last night, me and hubby told Lilly she has to stop growing. Then we came to the conclusion that she can just go backwards to 2 years old. It made her giggle. I love my kids so much.

First day of soccer

2011-11-03T07:36:00.000-04:00

I signed Lilly up to play indoor soccer. She's never played before so she was very nervous and very excited. Yesterday was the first practice. We met at a church in their gym and there was a lot of kid there, but most of them were way older. Only 3 kids (counting Lilly) on Lilly's team showed up yesterday. I hope more shows up. I don't want them to not have a team, she's so looking forward to playing. The coach informed us that he is going to also do outdoor soccer later, so she'll probably end up doing that too, as long as it doesn't interfere with softball. She loves softball too. So here's some pics I took of her practicing. I tried to get more, but she was just so fast and she ended up being blurry.

She's a little blurry. This is right after she picked out the ball she wanted to use and she found a little friend she knows.

I have no idea what she was doing.

That's Lilly waaaaaay over there kicking the ball and running.

Zach ended up in the nursery at the church for a bit. He wanted down to play, but I didn't want him to get run over, so we went here and he played for a little bit.

Here's a picture of him after we got home. He's playing with Lilly's toy phone. Lilly said he was talking to his girlfriend, Bella.

Good Deal

2011-11-02T07:40:00.001-04:00

Lilly's first day of soccer is today. The coach said its just going to be an hour of the kids running around. He wants to see if any of them have any 'skills' or whatever. She's super excited about it and so am I.
About 2 weeks ago I bought Lilly a camera that I was going to give her for Christmas. It was one of those kid cameras that is like a tank. You can drop it or throw it and it'll be ok. After a lot of thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that this camera (it was one of those Discovery kids cameras) was a little too baby-ish for Lilly. She's almost 7, not 3. So..... I decided to take the camera back yesterday and get my money back. I had seen this one camera that I wanted to get her online and it was half the price. Still a kid camera, but not a tank. I went to the store, receipt in hand and told the cashier that I wanted to return the camera. She looked at me funny and I assured her that I had not even opened it, I just wanted something more 'grown up' for my daughter. She said that I was past the 10 day return policy.........by only 4 days!!! She said she could give me store credit and I just sort of stared at her. I would have taken it, but the manager came by and showed me another camera. Its a Vivitar and was $80-a much more grown up camera. I would even like to have this one. The camera I was trying to take back was $40. I held the new camera and told them I didn't think so, I wasn't going to spend $80 on a camera for a 7 year old. $40 was a stretch. The manager took the cashier to a corner away from me and they huddled and whispered. The cashier then looked at me and said that she would do an even trade. What? Do my ears deceive me? I try to look unexcited and tell her thank you, I'll do that. I'll take the new camera. When I got out of the store, I did a little happy dance. I got an $80 camera for 50% off!! And its not even a big shopping day where there are good sales.
I got to see my best friend yesterday. I hadn't seen her since her wedding day back in August. We only had an hour together, though. She was with me during the whole camera ordeal. We even discreetly high fived while the cashier was ringing me up. My bff treated me to some coffee at a new coffee/tea place in the mall. Its called TeaCo. She ordered a Chai Tea and I ordered a Caramel Mocha. The lady behind the counter handed us each our drinks and told us what they were. Well... of course we couldn't drink it right away since it was so hot. My bff dropped me back off at work and a few minutes later I took a drink of my mocha.... it was kind of gross and tasted a bit like pumpkin. Then, my bff called and said that she is not happy with her drink. The lady got our drinks switched! Now I don't know if I like that place since I didn't get to taste the drink I had ordered. I got some gross pumpkin-y drink. I don't like anything pumpkin. I don't even like pumpkin pie...yeah, I know I'm crazy.
So anyway... I think I've decided to save Lilly's camera for her birthday in March. Then, I can get her all kinds of stuff to go with it- a case, photo album, some scrapbook stuff.... I'm actually really excited about it. Last year for her birthday, her big present was a diskman and 2 CD's and she was so happy about that she almost fell out of her seat. I would like to repeat that as often as possible. I was originally going to get her a Leap Frog Leapster Explorer for her birthday. Its a learning hand held game. That was going to be her big gift, but I'm going to give her that for Christmas now along with her scooter for her big gifts.
Seriously, Christmas has taken over my mind. That's all I think about.

Pics of trick or treat

2011-11-01T07:16:00.001-04:00

Last night was a lot of fun. Everyone got along, no one whined...no much. It was cold though, real cold. The kids lasted the entire 2 hours, well, ok Zach was asleep around 7:30, but woke up 10 minutes later. We did end up going with hubby's sister and her kids. First we did the trunk-or-treat at the church with the cars, but that only lasted 15 minutes at the most. Then, we packed the kids up and went down a side street that had many other side streets. By the time we got here it was just too dark to take any pictures. I did get one, but its far away. I ended up carrying Zach for a little bit. He was getting really excited and wanted out of his stroller. When he was in his stroller he was shoving his hand down his bucket and getting out handfuls of candy to play with and chew on.
The kids came out of there with their buckets completely full. We ended up pouring them out in a bag halfway through because I didn't want any to spill out. They even got some glow sticks, which I think is a wonderful idea. This one house was giving the babies glow stick necklaces and the bigger kids full sized candy bars. Everyone had fun. I thought that Zach would sleep through the night due to all the excitement, but he didn't. It was the complete opposite. He woke up every 45 minutes or so. As soon as I'd get to bed and get comfy, he'd be awake. I think he was just too tired, and then he got a stuffy nose around 3:00 this morning...anyway...here's the pics of the kids!

Here's the kids playing with their buckets before we left the house. They were in their match skeleton shirts.

Here's the only picture I got of the kids at a house. There's Lilly climbing the steps and there's hubby pushing Zach in the stroller.

Here's Lilly right before we headed out.

Lilly trick-or-treating

Zach right before we left

Zach trick-or-treating

Yeah, they're a little out of order, but I'm too lazy to fix them today.
And as always, you can see these pictures and more here ...there's more pictures from last night.

Happy Halloween!!

2011-10-31T07:12:00.000-04:00

Today is Halloween and trick-or-treat. Its very rare that trick-or-treat is actually ON Halloween around here. The mall, farmer's market, and our museum had trick-or-treat already and Lilly's father took her to those. We still haven't decided if we are going to go house to house the entire time or go to a church where they are doing 'trunk-or-treat'..... there's a bunch of cars parked in the parking lot and they are decorated and the kids walk from car to car to get candy. Its safer and more convenient for the stroller, but I don't think it'll be as much fun. We might try to end up doing both. Go to the cars first and then hit a side street or something. I told Lilly she gets to decide what we do.
Visited with my dad this weekend and saw his new house. I'm glad they got a bigger place, it was just too crowded in their other place...but I know how he felt there. He told me to come back in a few weeks to see the place after they have everything unpacked.
I'm hoping to get some good pictures of the kids tonight, but I don't know how well they will turn out since it'll be dark and my phone doesn't have a flash on it. I'll try to post pics tomorrow.

Pics of kids

2011-10-27T07:24:00.001-04:00

Here's pics of the kids doing pumpkins as I promised. They had such a great time doing it and getting messy!

Zach with his hand down the pumpkin. He didn't mind the ooey gooey-ness of the pumpkin guts.

Lilly after getting out some of the insides.

Lilly with her hand down the pumpkin

Lilly getting out the insides

Lilly's pumpkin she carved by herself...with a little help

Zach chewing on the pumpkin scraper

Zach with his hand down the pumpkin

After we made a mess on the porch with the big pumpkins, I moved the kids inside to paint the little ones. I had them paint in the bathroom since its the only room we have without carpet. I was going to do it outside, but it was cold and I had to strip Zach down to his diaper.

Lilly painting her other pumpkin

Lilly making her pumpkin a rainbow

Zach slapping paint on his pumpkin

Zach painting his pumpkin

Zach enjoying getting messy

Lilly's butterfly habitat box

See these pictures and more on my flickr account. Just click here to see them all

Still not Christmas?

2011-10-26T11:20:00.000-04:00

We are carving pumpkins tonight!! WOOO!! We were talking about letting Lilly do one all by herself this year. I'll make sure I get pictures and post them tomorrow. We have 2 big ones for carving and 2 small ones just for painting or drawing on. I'm gonna let Zach go crazy with fingerpaint and his pumpkin, as long as he doesn't try to eat the paint. Super excited about that. I'm pretty sure the painting is going to have to take place in teh bathroom seeing as how that's the only room in our apartment with no carpet.
Lilly's shoebox habitat was a great hit with the kids and the teacher loved it. She got to bring it home yesterday. I meant to get a picture of her holding it, I will do that tonight and post it tomorrow with the pumpkin pictures.
Everything is going great. Kids are great. I'm still really excited about Christmas and can't stop thinking about it. I asked hubby last night where we were going to put the tree this year since Zach's crib is where the tree usually goes. He just looked at me funny and told me not to think about it right now. I think what I'm going to end up doing is rearrange the bedroom and make room for Zach's bed so we can put the tree in its spot.
I'm hoping to sell my car, my mom car, soon. I posted an ad on craigslist today and already got 2 emails until hubby told me to just add his phone number to it. We've had a few calls about it this week from the sign he put on it. One guy called late last night. I'm also hoping I get at least half of the money from selling my car to put towards Christmas. I know hubby was wanting the money to put back in savings from where he paid to put an engine in the car I'm driving now....but I really want some of it for Christmas. Saving up money when you don't have any is real difficult.
I still haven't scanned the pictures that we got done at the fire station. I haven't even taken them out of the package yet. We were going to go through them and figure out what to give to people last weekened, but we didn't. We got lazy.
So be on the lookout tomorrow for some pictures of the kids! Lets hope I remember.

Mad Mom

2011-10-25T09:05:00.000-04:00

Hubby really wanted to get Zach's hair cut. Here's what my handsome little man looked like before...

I told the barber that I just wanted it trimmed away from his ears and off his neck and out of his eyes. That's it. And this is what he does...

I yelled, I cried. I'm still kind of upset about it. This is not what a trim looks like.

So anyway... here's some pics of Zach enjoying a chocolate strawberry.

Weird dreams

2011-10-19T07:05:00.002-04:00

We went and got the pictures that we had done at the fire station. They really weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be. I really like the family picture, all of us together. Its our first family picture. Everyone looks good in it. There were a few poses I didn't like, but we ended up getting all of them. There was about 3 of Zach by himself and only one of Lilly. I wish the photographer would have taken more of Lilly by herself. There's the family picture with us wearing our WVU shirts, a picture of just me and hubby and then a picture of just the kids. Then, we changed the kids clothes. In the middle of changing them, the photographer took pictures of Zach in his diaper. I love that picture. He's just sitting there with his paci in his mouth. There's 2 with both the kids in their costumes and one is really really good. There's one with Lilly by herself, which I wasn't quite fond of, and then 2 more of Zach by himself in his costume. I liked one of them.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before or not..but... Lilly had to pick a wild animal and make its natural habitat in a shoe box. She had originally wanted to do a deer, but changed her mind to a butterfly. I think it turned out pretty good. She colored the sky with a crayon, glued cotton balls for the clouds, we made a tree out of some sticky green craft paper and added apples on it. I printed off a picture of a field of flowers and used it for the back and then we started glueing on fake flowers on the bottom and side until we realized that tape was going to work better. We then hung the butterflies that I broke off some of her hair clips that she has never worn and never plans to from a string so they can fly around the box. I was wanting to take a picture of it, but it slipped my mind. She took it in to school today.

I had a dream 2 nights ago~ There was me and the kids, hubby, my mom and step dad and all my brothers in a small house, maybe a trailer. We were frantically trying to find a back way out of the house. By the time I noticed that the back door was blocked by a big tv, some guy busted through the front door and shot us all with a machine gun. I said to myself, "ok, I'm just going to lay down now and die." But before I fell all the way to the floor I woke up. I paced the house and tried to go back to sleep. I had the same dream, but this time I saved my kids by hiding them. I woke up again, paced the house, tended to Zach and tried to sleep again. This dream, we were all outside laying in the mud in a row, shoulder to shoulder. I couldn't see anything except the person beside me, so I sat up. I heard a guy laugh behind me and say something about me trying to run away and he shot me in the head. I didn't sleep the rest of the night. The dreams even haunted me all day yesterday. I didn't sleep well last night either. I just can't get these images out of my head now. I can't recall any dreams last night, but I did just lay there and stare at the ceiling most of the night. I just couldn't sleep. Crazy, right? I've had dreams before that I died, was shot, was run over, it was the end of the world...stuff like that, but none of them has haunted me like these recent ones have.

Weekend

2011-10-17T07:06:00.000-04:00

Lilly did ok at the wake and the funeral. She asked a lot of questions, as I expected she would. She didn't cry until the funeral and I think it was mostly because her cousins were crying...that's what got to me. The whole family is doing ok. We spent everyday together since his passing. Hubby was taking it hard the day of the wake. I did what I could to comfort him. At the end of the funeral, a dove was set loose. We all went back to hubby's mom's house after and we stayed until real late. Here's a pic of the kids sleeping on the same pillow. So cute.

Saturday, hubby's mom pulled out Lilly's tooth.

Did you know that teeth are going for $5 now? Or at least the first tooth is. That's what her sister got when she lost her tooth and then a dollar for each one after that. Crazy.

Sunday I went to see some of my family. I drove my little brother around so he could buy a laptop. I've just been real busy this past week with everything going on and its just too much to type.

Still no word on the house that we want. Still waiting for it to come back on the market.... and no new house has come up in our price range that we like.

......

2011-10-13T07:03:00.002-04:00

The wake for grandpa is today and the funeral is tomorrow. I'm going to leave work early, go buy some formula since we are completely out, pick up the kids, get them home and ready. Tomorrow, the kids are just going to go about their usual day, day care and school. I'm going to take tomorrow off, so no update tomorrow.

Zach does this new thing, and its so adorable. He loves pillows and for the past few weeks, he will go over to a pillow and lay down with his head on it. He'll toss and turn and play for a bit, but its so cute. We have a pillow that we keep in the floor just so he can play with it. When we are at someone else's house, if we throw a pillow in the floor, he will rush over to it just to lay down. My mom said that she wants to get him a Pillow Pet for Christmas. Those Pillow Pets caused me so many headaches last year.

I've also been having the urge to smoke again. I haven't, but I've wanted to. I've been doing really good and haven't touched one in such a long time. So.. I've been eating a lot more. I came so close yesterday to ask someone if I can bum a cigarette. I'm very proud of myself that I didn't. I've just been extra super stressed lately and then you add in everything that's happening this week and I just wanna pull my hair out. Right now, I'm looking around my office and going through my desk to see if I have anything to munch on. I need to get this under control before I gain weight. I've been doing really well lately, watching what I eat and exercise more... but now is all down the crapper.

I apologize for my postings being so short lately.

SECOND POST OF THE DAY

2011-10-12T16:10:00.000-04:00

Simone from Australia is getting married this weekend and I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell her to have fun and don't get upset if things don't go as planned. My wedding day was crazy. Hubby's niece passed out, the air conditioner didn't work (and it was the middle of summer), my bridesmaid's dresses didn't fit and they were all safety pinned so they wouldn't fall off, my flower girl (Lilly) ended up going barefoot, my mom lost her camera, the isle cloth got caught on everything and ripped... just little things. During the reception our cake started to melt and fall off the pillars and we even ran out of cake. Not everyone got a piece. No big deal. If things can go wrong, they probably will. My best friend got married a couple months ago and her cake fell completely off the table onto the ground. So here's my advice I guess... don't sweat the small stuff... its not the wedding day that is the reason you are getting married, its the days that follow. Good luck and I do hope its everything you imagine and hope it will be.

Somber day

2011-10-12T07:01:00.000-04:00

Hubby's grandpa passed away yesterday around 2:00 in the afternoon. He was 88 years old. I didn't know him very well, but in the few times that I was around him, he was always so very friendly. He always had a story to tell and would sit there and listen to anything you had to say. From what I've heard from other people he was a very good, hard working, honest man. He was so delighted to hear that hubby now works where he use to. He use to sit and tell hubby about how things use to be there. His wife passed away 2 years ago, we had the funeral on their anniversary. Her birthday would have been this Friday.

Hubby left work early yesterday to go to the hospital, but he didn't make it in time. I know that bothers him, but I hope he doesn't beat himself up too much for it. I left work a bit early too, but it was after everyone was out of the hospital and going home. I picked the kids up and headed to my in-laws house. 2 people ended up bringing 4 boxes of pizza. The kids played, the adults talked. Hubby's mom mostly took the time to make phone calls and talk to other family and friends. It was her father that had passed.

I don't know when the funeral will be, I would imagine no one has even given the arrangements any thought right now.

Where's my coffee?

2011-10-11T07:14:00.001-04:00

Left work early Friday. Day care called me and said that it looked like Zach had pink eye, so I picked him up and took him to a doctor. Now...I didn't take him to his doctor cuz I tried to call and they were all out to lunch, so I figured I'd take him to this doctor's office by the house that's kind of like an emergency room, but not really. Its called Urgent Care, or it use to, or something. We sat in the waiting room for 2 1/2 hours and then in the patient room for another hour for the doctor, then another 1/2 an hour after that to be able to leave. I think next time I'll just wait for his doctor's office to finish with their lunch break and then call. It'll take less time that way. Zach's on eye drops now until Friday. He doesn't really seem to mind them. Oh, and he really liked that doctor that came to see him. As soon as the doc came through the door, Zach sat straight up and smiled. Here's a pic of Zach playing with the paper on the chair. It was the only thing that would occupy him. He wanted down in the floor so bad. Do you know how hard it is to keep a child out of the floor for 4 hours? It was exhausting!

Got to see mom Saturday. Lilly went to watch her sister in a cheerleading competition for a bit. Not really much more to say about that.

Sunday we had pictures done. The kids got some in their costumes and then we took some family pics in WVU shirts. I don't think I'm gonna like these pictures. I didn't like the poses, she didn't change the background for any of them. So, the ones with costumes and the family ones all have this horrible white background that looks like we are up against an old white barn. After that we had hubby's niece's birthday party to go to. Lilly had fun.

Yesterday I had my parent teacher conference at noon. The teacher said Lilly is doing very well and she's even going to put her in an advanced reading group. I asked about her talking, she said that Lilly is no trouble at all and doesn't talk too much. That was a big problem in Kindergarten. And I asked if Lilly got in a hurry and messed up cuz in Kindergarten she always wanted to be the first one done, it didn't matter if she was wrong or sloppy. Teacher said that Lilly doesn't do that at all. She's changed a lot and I'm very proud of her.

After that I picked up one of hubby's nephews, the one that's Lilly age and took the kids to McDonald's for lunch then to the playground. We were at the playground for nearly 3 hours before we headed into the school to look at the books for the book fair.

Neighbor invited us to go walking with her yesterday evening, so we did. I had Zach in the carrier sling thing and he was loving it. We walked mostly uphill for 2 miles. It was a workout. Lilly was complaining, but she made it. I really need to get out there and walk some more. I need to exercise and lose some weight.

Zach slept pretty good last night, but I couldn't. Hubby was at the hospital with his grandpa so I stayed awake until he got home, then Zach woke up once after that, but then I couldn't go back to sleep. I don't know why. I tried. So... my eyes are droopy this morning and I just really don't feel much like typing anymore.
Oh, and more pics are up here

Lilly at dentist

2011-10-07T06:56:00.001-04:00

So, I didn't get to bring Zach with me. I figured today would have been a good day because the big boss guy is on vacation this week and well...its a Friday. My immediate boss told me that the big boss guy is not in a good mood. He's been called in twice to take care of business, while on vacation. I wouldn't be happy either. Its just not a good time. I'll have to try again some other time. I was actually really looking forward to brining him to work.

Lilly's dentist appointment went great. No cavities. Her teeth were a little yellow. She kept blaming me. I don't know how its my fault, but whatever. I always make sure she brushes her teeth, flosses and uses mouth wash. She likes to do it. There really isn't any problem getting her to do it. She's just not doing a very good job at it. Now that her teeth are white again, she is determined to keep them that way. I snapped a few pictures while she was sitting there.

Hopefully going to visit family tomorrow. Lilly is going to go watch her sister in a cheerleading competition and then we will go see my mom and everyone. Sunday, we have a birthday party and hopefully pictures at the fire station. We'll just have to wait and see....

Here's a few more pics of the kids...

Title Goes Here, but I don't have one

2011-10-06T06:59:00.000-04:00

Wow... yesterday I was just feeling so low and couldn't seem to pull myself out of it. I think I'm ok today. I don't know what my problem was. I felt like crying half the time and screaming the other half. I didn't really talk to anyone or even want to. Yesterday just...... sucked.

Lilly has a dentist appointment today so I get to leave work early and pick her up from school just a little before the bell rings. She's really excited about her dentist appointment. Its weird. Tomorrow I'm bringing Zach to work with me. No special reason really. One of the couriers last day is next Friday and I told her I'd bring Zach in before she left. Last time I brought him he was good and I didn't have any problems getting my work done. I don't know about now. He's more mobile now. One thing I am really worried about is him falling. Sometimes when he's holding onto something and standing, he will just fall backward and bumps his head on the floor. I'm not sure if he lets go and tried to balance....but he can stand on his own now. I think he thinks the thing he is holding onto can move, but when it doesn't, his hands slip off and in the motion, he falls...... that's my theory anyway. The reason I'm worried is the floor here is just a hard concrete floor covered with a thin layer of carpeting and I know it'll hurt him more than the floor at home. I'll just have to keep a really close eye on him. I can't tell Lilly I'm bringing him to work with me, she'll get upset and want to come too.

So, there might not be a blog update tomorrow.

Parenting Fibs or Tricks

2011-10-05T06:52:00.000-04:00

I read an article the other day that got me thinking. I began to think of little 'fibs' or tricks I tell and use on my kids or even ones I was told when I was growing up.

Of course there were the usual sayings my mom yelled at me over and over again

~ "Don't sit so close to the tv, you'll go blind."

~ "If you don't brush your hair, I'm going to shave you bald."

And then some I made up for my little brothers

~ The Easter bunny took your bottles, so you have to drink out of a cup now."

~ (After it had rained) "Drink this water, its rain water." (My little brothers would drink nothing but soda until I introduced rain water.)

~(this one I used on my brothers and have used on my own kids) "If you're not good, I'm going to call Santa!"

~ "You can't wear you new shoes out to play in because they don't make you run as fast as your 'play' shoes"

Here's some I've come up with as a parent

~ (When my daughter was little and liked to run away from me at the store/mall) "Stay with mommy, or the man will get you." (she was afraid of males for the longest time)

~ "Brush your teeth or they will fall out" (sort of not a lie)

~ "Eat your veggies and you'll be able to pick up a car one day." (this one hasn't worked)

~ When she was little I use to race her so she would eat. Whoever got done first won, but that all ended the day we were in a crowded restaurant and she yelled, "NO Mommy!!! Don't beat me!!"

~ I use to play 'see who can pretend to take a nap the longest' just to get her to take a nap

~ When she whines I tell her I can't understand her, then she talks normal.

These are just a few...I can't give away ALL my secrets. ;-)

Can you think of any that you were told as a kid or ones that you've told your younger siblings or children? Feel free to leave them in the comments or you can even tell me about it through email by using the email from my other blog... smilesareeverywhere@gmail.com

Lilly's costume

2011-10-04T06:59:00.002-04:00

I got Lilly back yesterday and we were all excited. Zach couldn't stop staring at her. She tried on her costume and she loves it!

There's no school today, so she is just hanging out at the YMCA playing. We're having a special election for governor today since ours took the senate seat after our other representative passed away. We've had a fill in, but they need an election to make things official and permanent.

We didn't really do anything special yesterday. Lilly played the Wii while Zach sat in his high chair and watched until he got bored. Then, I moved him to his walker while I washed dishes and cooked dinner. Hubby was out on a car wreck and then he had his weekly meeting at the fire station. This Sunday we are going to try to get the kids pictures done. A studio is going to the fire station like they do every year and takes photos of whatever you want. You, your family, your pets.... I've always gotten Lilly's done there, except for last year. I'm planning on getting pics of the kids in their costumes and then maybe a picture of them in their WVU gear and then maybe a normal picture.. but definitely in their costumes... maybe on a fire truck or something.

I've become obsessed with Christmas... and Halloween isn't even here yet. I've been making and updating spreadsheets on what to get who and comparing prices of some stuff. Really excited over Black Friday already too. I've been actively looking for ads, but none have come up yet... it'll be another month or so before they do, but I can still try. I've been trying to figure out how I'm going to save up money to get gifts. Both of the kids have their big gifts and a few little ones so far. Zach has the Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Farm, a book, 2 soft cars. Lilly has a scooter, some shirts, some books and some craft stuff. I still want to get Lilly a camera and walkie talkies and then a bunch of little stuff and Zach a firetruck, activity cube and who knows what else. I have yet to get hubby anything. His stuff is what I'm most worried about saving money for. His gifts I want to get myself, but he will help with the kids.

Its just something about this time of year that gets me in the Christmas spirit.... even though its so far away.

Rain rain, go away

2011-10-03T07:02:00.000-04:00

Friday was hectic. I was here alone at work. My boss and the other assistant took the day off... at the end of the month... and at the end of the quarter. I was going crazy. I left work late and was trying so hard to be back at home before hubby left to go camping, but I just missed him. I was stuck in traffic and watched him as he pulled out of the driveway and drove right past me. After a horrible day like that, all I really wanted was 5 minutes with him. Me and Zach ended up playing and staying up late.

It rained all day Saturday. I found a break in the rain and took off to grandma's house. We stayed there for a few house before heading back home. Hubby came home late that night. Saturday night, Zach didn't sleep very well, he was up and crying every half an hour. I tried to just leave him alone and let him put himself back to sleep, but he didn't. I was exhausted. He was congested. I gave him some medicine and even did some saline drops, but he was still stuffy. Finally about 4:30 I put him in bed with me and hubby. If anything, he could crawl around a bit while I took 5 second naps. He ended up falling asleep until 7:00 after an hour of being excited about being in our bed. I am totally against letting kids sleep in the bed, but I just couldn't take it anymore that night and I couldn't think of anything else to do.

We didn't do much Sunday. I didn't even get the kitchen cleaned. We went to Walmart and then picked up McDonalds on the way home. That's about it. I get Lilly back today and get to keep her for 2 weeks. I got her costume Friday. I'll have to have her try it on tonight and take some pictures. Gonna take both the kids Sunday to get pictures done in their costumes. Very excited about that.

Here's a few pictures of Zach from this weekend at grandma's.

Little Man Standing

2011-09-30T07:05:00.000-04:00

My days have been busy and kind of boring, so I haven't had much to write about. Played with the kids Wednesday. Yesterday we went shopping. This weekend hubby is going camping and I might take Zach to see grandma...or just hang around the house.
I did get Zach to stand yesterday, all by himself. He was doing so good. Sometimes he'd get really excited and start flapping his arms and then fall into me or sometimes he would just slowly sit down.

I love the look on his face. He's acting like he's so cool, not caring at all. We just went outside to play and wait for Dad to get home. I had him standing up and just decided to let go... and he stayed. We did this for about half an hour. He was having so much fun. He was realizing the he was doing something great and was getting exciting about it and kept wanting to do it. We practiced standing until he got too tired to do it anymore. He even took a step out but then he screamed and fell.

Nada

2011-09-28T06:52:00.000-04:00

We didn't get it.

The opening bid for the house was not as high as the bank was willing to go. They were going to go as high as $30,000 more than the minimum bid. The guy told us that we can outbid his low bid, but then he would outbid us. If that was the deal, then why wasn't the higher number the minimum bid? Now, we are waiting for the bank to turn around and put it back on the market. I hope they don't go too high, but I'm sure they will. Yesterday was just a big disappointment.

I guess it just wasn't meant to be....right? Things happen for a reason....right? I am just so eager to get out of our itty bitty apartment and into our own home where the kids can have room to grow. I am ready. I've been ready. It just seems like every time we find a house that we both like, it slips through our fingers regardless of what we do. Its very disheartening.

Worried

2011-09-27T07:10:00.002-04:00

The house auction is today. I'm actually still undecided if I want to go bid on the house. I love the house, but the minimum bid is a little over our max limit. I was trying not to even touch our max limit. Hubby says we'll be fine, but come to find out last night that he doesn't understand how a mortgage loan works. He things if we pay the regular monthly payments, that are calculated for a 30 year loan, that we'll have the house paid off in just 16 years. I've tried to explain to him that it doesn't work that way, that we'll be paying way more for the house than what the loan is for due to the interest and if he wanted to pay off the house in that short of time, the payments would be dramatically more. He doesn't believe me. It caused for a bit of an argument last night. I told him that he just needs to come in and talk to our loan lady and maybe she can explain it better to him than I did.

Anyway... I got a bit off track there... I don't think we can afford our max limit, he does. But... he also thought the monthly payments were way less than they actually are. He was thinking of our last limit, before he got a raise...

I didn't get any sleep last night. I want this house, but I don't want to go broke living there. I don't want to not be able to make payments. I am worried that we can't afford this house, but he does. I laid awake last night just thinking and calculating and turning numbers. I'm worried he's going to break us, that he has too much faith in how much money we have. I told him last night that its all him, I have nothing to contribute to the monthly payments. I'm killing myself just trying to pay day care and health insurance.

I sent an email to our loan lady this morning to ask her to calculate our monthly payments for me. I've been using online calculator and I want to know exactly what our number is going to be. Maybe it'll put my mind at ease... maybe it'll cause me to tell him to forget about the house. I can only sit and wait now.

Isn't this suppose to be an exciting time for me? We are on the brink of owning a house, but all I can think of is going broke while living there. I'll let you know tomorrow what happened.

Lazy Weekend

2011-09-26T06:50:00.000-04:00

Saturday was a very lazy day. Hubby didn't even get out of bed until around 4. I did some laundry and played with Zach. Then, out of nowhere, he told me to get ready. We headed out to a Chinese buffet for dinner. Zach even had some. He loves crab.

Sunday was another lazy day, but I got more done around the house. We visited with his parents and his sister was there with her kids. We snuck out and took a look at the outside of the house we want and to walk the property.

Today, hubby's gonna call the lawyers back to see if they have a minimum bid from the lender yet. I hope they don't want an arm and a leg for it.

Dead tired, I don't really feel much like writing.... that and nothing really happened. We are just waiting for some good news now.

Here's a picture of Zach in his Halloween costume. I went and got it Friday when I picked up his big Christmas gift.

Oh my goodness... Its FRIDAY!!!

2011-09-23T07:01:00.000-04:00

Last night was the last night that we were staying at my sister-in-laws house to watch her kids. We do have to go back today, but that's only to get the rest of our stuff that we left there. I think we got everything except Zach's stuff.

Some time this weekend we are going to go up to the house we want and take a good look outside. Hubby wants to make sure he can't find anything wrong with the foundation. The roof is fairly new, but he's still going to look at it too. I want to survey the property as well.

The lawyer who is doing the auction finally got back with me, or at least his assistant did. I asked what all we would need to bring with us, cash or proof that we can get a loan (cuz if it was cash, it would be a no go), how much left over taxes there were... stuff like that. You know what... here's our emails.

Mine to her (I wanted to express how much we wanted the house in case they would make a deal with us before the auction.)

"My husband and I have had our eye on this house for weeks now. I was just able to get our pre-approval letter Monday and then come to find out that the house is being auctioned off September 27. Neither one of us has been to an auction and I need to know what we need to bring with us. Would we need to bring the approval letter; it doesn't have a dollar amount on it. We will be able to get the loan within the required 30 days after bidding. Also, how much is the remaining taxes on the house, if any?
Any assistance you can provide would be greatly appreciated. As I said earlier, this is the house we've been wanting for quite a while now and we are eager to get it.

Thank you"

Her to me~

"We do not have a minimum bid as of today, we typically receive the bids a couple of days prior to the sale. You would not need to bring anything with you to the sale. You will have 30 days to close the loan after the foreclosure sale date. Thank you"

So would that mean that its a sealed auction? You have to bid on the house before you go? Then how do you outbid someone? Hubby is going to give them a call today.

I went yesterday and bought Zach's big Christmas gift. I'm going to pick it up today and also get his Halloween costume. He's gonna be a fireman. I thought that's what Lilly wanted to be too, but I think she changed her mind. I don't know. Here's a pic of Zach's costume (I took a picture of it a few days ago to show hubby, but he just told me last night to pick it up, I hope its still there) and then one of Zach looking at a ceiling fan. He loves those things. I will of course post pics of the kids on here in their costumes later.

So...many...kids....

2011-09-22T07:04:00.002-04:00

Things went more smoothly with the army of children yesterday. Now, if you didn't read my post for yesterday, I understand that the first sentence might sound a little... wrong. When I left work, I picked up my crew and went to our place to pick up a few more things, including a hair dryer. Then, we went to the middle school and picked up the 11 year old girl from volleyball practice. After that, we had to rush to her house and get her homework done and feed her and then send her off to dance class. Today, she has a volleyball game and the 7 year old boy has a baseball game.

It is a little difficult dealing with all this when we were just thrown in the situation, but we are making it work. All the kids played and had fun yesterday. Everyone did their homework and I checked it. Hubby made dinner (hot dogs) and chauffeured the girl to and from dance. I'm still exhausted. Zach got up 3 times last night. He got up at 4:30 and stayed up. Lilly was being so difficult this morning. I put her bath bag (its got her hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.) and her clothes in the bathroom with her when I woke her up and told her everything is there and to get ready. 10 minutes later I go to check on her and she's sitting on the stool still in her pj's! I ask her what she's doing and she says, "Nothing." I ask her why she isn't getting ready and she told me she's waiting for her stuff. I ask her what stuff and point to everything. "Oh, I didn't know this was my bath bag." I said, "Its big and pink and you've had it for years. Get ready." I don't know why she didn't at least get dressed if she didn't know about her bag.

No new news on the house yet. I haven't heard anything from the lawyer that's doing the auction yet. I emailed him, but I don't know if he got it since it was one of those 'fill out the form' on the website instead of an actual email. I might email him from my work or just have hubby call him. I read somewhere that on rare occasions they will make a deal with you before the auction. That's kind of what I'm hoping for too. Get it for auction price without actually having to go. That and we don't know what all we need to take with us and such.

Tomorrow night I get to sleep in my own bed again. I'm so looking forward to that.

I really need a vacation

2011-09-21T06:58:00.000-04:00

Hubby's sister planned a vacation to take this week with her husband without having a babysitter lined up for her kids. She has 4, but is taking the youngest one with her. I think I've mentioned this. Yesterday was our first day staying there. It was hectic. I picked up my kids and headed home to pack. Hubby came home and took Lilly with him and I was left with Zach to pack for everyone. I couldn't get anything done. He was right at my feet the entire time trying to climb all over me. I finally got packed and everything to the car, but had to go get gas in my car and go to the store so Lilly would have stuff for snack and lunch at school.

I get to hubby's sisters house and its near the little ones bedtimes. We get everyone showered and put to bed only to find out that his sister didn't do laundry. There's hardly any clean towels... and there's only half a roll of toilet paper. Neither me or hubby got much sleep because the bed is so hard and kind of lumpy and the pillows are flat. Hubby's stopping by our place today to get our pillows. Hopefully that'll help a little. Lilly slept just fine. She had no problem going to sleep and didn't wake up at all. Zach is sleeping in what he would sleep in if he was home, a pack and play, but its not his. He didn't seem to care. He woke up twice, but the second time was tiring. He got up at 3:30 and I got him to sleep, but when I put him down, he woke back up. He did this to me 3 times. Finally at 5:30, I got him to go back down, but then it was time for me to start getting ready for work.

Our house.... oh, our house that we want. The bank is going forward with the foreclosure and its being auctioned off on the court house steps on Tuesday. So.. that means that we still have a chance at it. If I didn't like this house so much, I'd just forgot about it by now. We're hoping at the auction that we'll be able to get the house for half of what we were going to offer. Neither one of us has ever done anything like this so we are nervous. We don't have the house yet, but neither does anyone else.

WOOOO!

2011-09-20T06:52:00.001-04:00

So we did get our pre-approval yesterday and man, was it nerve racking. I went down there and found out my credit score has dropped 40 points, but I and the loan lady couldn't figure out why. Hubby's rose almost 50 points. So... with my credit so sucky, we can't get the kind of loan we wanted. My bank said we can do an in house loan. The interest rate would be locked in at 4.375% for 5 years. After that 5 years we can refinance or it will default into a one year adjustable rate. Not a big deal. The rate cannot go higher (or lower) than 2% of the original. With an in house loan we wouldn't need to have the private mortgage insurance which would save us money by not having it.

After I got all that said and done, I called our realtor. She said that she's been in contact with the realtor that's selling the house and the bank is wanting to foreclose on it. If they do decide to go forward with that, the house wouldn't be available for about 2 more years. But.... and here's the good part... if we get our offer in before the bank has made a final decision, we are more likely to get it. Today I'll be waiting for that phone call from our realtor. I'm so excited and nervous. This is such a big deal to me... to us. We've been needing a bigger place for a while now.

On a side note.... there's a giant moth in my car that attacks me when I drive, but I can't catch it. I'm just waiting for the day that it gets stuck in my hair or something. It was flying at my face today while driving to work, but it was so dark in my car I couldn't see it. I only see the thing when I'm driving while its attacking me and I can't catch it. I can never find it when I'm not driving. The first few times it flew into me it scared me so much, but now its just annoying.

Making an offer...hopefully

2011-09-19T07:06:00.000-04:00

So... I am going downstairs today to the mortgage area and see if we are still approved for a loan. If we are, then we are going to make an offer on the house that I fell in love with. We didn't even go look at the other house. Hubby and his dad were up looking around the outside of the house I want when a van full of people pulled up to wait for a realtor to let them look in. I guess that tripped a switch in hubby's brain and now he's ready. I'm very excited, I just hope we are still approved. I need all of you to cross your fingers for us.

Saturday we all got up early, packed and headed down the road to hubby's uncle's 'farm' for the annual cookout/campout. The food was good. I ate until I couldn't eat anymore. Zach even had some. Some people brought clay targets and a launcher and everyone brought guns. We went out shooting after we ate. Hubby's oldest nephew was great at it, he barely missed any. Hubby was a little shaky at first, but after a while, he was hitting every one. I only tried for 10 targets and hit 2. Hubby's sister tried for almost an entire box of 90 and hit maybe 5. The little kids were wanting to shoot guns too, but all these were big shotguns. Hubby's brother-in-law got out a little 4/10 for his 7 year old son to shoot. He showed him how to aim and stand, but he didn't show him how to hold it right against his shoulder. He fired and it kicked back and knocked him to the ground. Lilly started crying saying she didn't want to shoot now, but I got out my little pistol that I carry in my purse sometimes (yes, I'm licenced to do so) and she said she would give that a go. I showed her how to stand and hold it and made sure her hands were all in the right spot. I showed her how to aim and she shot it once. She didn't hit the target, but she did good. (one thing I've learned is... if there's going to be guns in the house, not only do you lock it up, but you teach your kids gun safety. You get all these kids out there who are intrigued and end up shooting themselves because no one taught them anything about guns. I'm going to make sure my kids know the importance of safety and how to properly handle a gun. They are going to be hunting with me one day.)

Anyway... After that, Lilly and most of the other kids went fishing and I went back to the house to check on Zach. He was still sleeping. I woke him up and hubby's parents went up to the pond with me and Zach. By the time I got there, Lilly was bored with fishing.

All in all it was a good weekend. Came home yesterday and unpacked and finished laundry. I'm just hoping that we get approved for that house. PPPPPLLLLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yep

2011-09-15T07:09:00.001-04:00

I want to travel. I want to go places. The furthest away from home I've been is to Canada. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved it there (and really want to go back), but I want to see other places too. I want to visit France, Scotland, Australia, Italy, Egypt, Greece, hell.. I'd even like to go places here in the US. After we are retired, I want to be able to take hubby to Italy since most of his family is Italian.

Oh, funny story... when I was 7 and in the second grade, I overheard my mom and my first step-dad talking about just this same thing. I heard my mom say that she would like to go to Australia. My little mind thought she meant we were moving there now. The next day I told my teacher that I was moving away to Australia. They threw me a goodbye party and everything. After a few weeks, I finally got around to asking my mom when we were moving. She had a good laugh out of it, but then I had to go back to school and tell my everyone I wasn't leaving. They were all happy I was staying, but looking back at that now, it was really funny.

So, we got to look at one house yesterday and I fell in love with it. The bedrooms are a generous size, the kitchen is small, but open and all the lighting in the house is new and energy efficient. It has nice land and a finished basement. Hubby said he doesn't want to make an offer until we look at this other house, but its on the wrong side of town and from what he's told me, its trash. The only reason he wants to really look at it is because of the land. The guy that's selling the house has been busted for cooking meth, but not in that house, but that doesn't mean that he didn't in the house. I don't want to live in a house where there is suspicion of someone cooking meth in it. I don't want to put my kids around that. He even told me that someone told him that the house is way over priced. Its one of the cheapest houses listed so if its overpriced... that means it needs a lot of work. I will try to schedule it just to please him, but I don't want the house. I don't like the location and I don't like the things I've heard about it. Hopefully after we look at it, he will make an offer on the house I love. The house I love is in short sell.... the realtor said it would take 60-90 days to get everything final so we can move in and he thinks that's too long. I've been waiting this long for a house, I can wait 90 more days as long as I know that in the end of those 90 days, the house is ours. I don't want to keep looking at other houses for months and months and not find anything when there's a perfectly good house right there.

Here's some pics of Zach sitting on a fire truck yesterday.

Nothing New

2011-09-14T07:44:00.001-04:00

Nothing new to really report on. Going to look at 2 houses today and hopefully one will be the one for us. I do have a couple new pics at http://www.flickr.com/photos/bekahbug04/ Go check them out. A few is on there you haven't seen yet. A picture of my mom and Zach is up and one of Zach and hubby with a blur of a dog.

Oh............ Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. is representing West Virginia on America's Got Talent. I know its too late to even ask you to vote for him, but I just wanted to throw his name out there. I'm glad that there is a very talented man up there and is proud of where he is from. I do hope he wins. I think his performance was the best last night. If you have access, watch AGT tonight.

Yep... that's about it. I'll update you on the houses tomorrow.

Don't forget to head over to my other blog http://www.smilesareeverywhere.blogspot.com/ and watch out for smiles around you and email them to me at smilesareeverywhere@gmail.com

Spending Time With Family

2011-09-12T07:10:00.000-04:00

Wow...talk about a busy weekend. Zach has 4 teeth now. The top two came through.

Friday, we went shopping for some food to make and take to the family reunion. We ended up getting stuff so I can make a white chocolate cheesecake.

Saturday, we got up early, got everyone ready, picked up hubby's dad and took off. Lilly had the portable DVD player and was watching movies. Zach fell asleep for a little bit and I read the material I need to read for my training at work. Almost 3 hours later, we get there. Zach woke up when we were about 45 minutes away and Lilly's movie ended about 20 minutes away. Both were getting kind of fussy.

We got there way too early. They were still setting up tables. There was 2 hours left before it was time to eat and Lilly was yelling that she was starving. She didn't eat her breakfast like I told her to. I did end up sneaking her a strawberry. She was happy with that. Hubby, Lilly, me, Zach and one other little boy went outside and played frisbee for a bit.

Then, it was time to eat. The food was wonderful. There was fruit, pasta salad, sweet potato casserole, spaghetti, rolls, egg salad, grape salad, macaroni salad, broccoli salad, ham, pork, chips, green beans, potato casserole. Zach ate a big bowl of the sweet potato casserole. Then for dessert there was my cheesecake, 3 different kinds of cupcakes, a chocolate cake, apple pie, apple crumble pie, lemon cake, lemon bread, and I'm sure there was more, but I can't remember. I got Lilly a vanilla cupcake with chocolate icing on top. She took 10 minutes to lick the icing off then she took a big bite out of the cupcake and said, "EW!" and showed me that it had chocolate icing on the inside of it too. It was made that way. She thought it was gross. I told her that its the same icing that was all over her face, but she wouldn't eat it. It was actually a good day. Both kids had fun and hubby got to catch up with family. Then we had to drive the almost 3 hours back home. Both kids fell asleep, but Zach woke up about 45 minutes away from home and cried the last 15. Lilly slept through his screaming.

(there is something wrong with my camera on my phone. It's making everything look blurry and pixalated. I haven't changed any of the settings, so I have no idea what is wrong with it)

Sunday we got to go to my moms house. It was fun there too. All my little brothers were there and we laughed and played around. Hubby was even having a good time. We all played Uno and it was one of the best games of Uno I've ever played. It was so much fun. Zach and Lilly played around with mom's dog until she tried to bite Zach. Both kids had fun there too. They played and wore themselves out. Zach ended up taking an hour nap there. Hubby went and woke him up so he could visit with my step dad when he got home. We had to take Tony back to my dad's house when we left which isn't too far out of our way. Both kids fell asleep and slept until we got home.

The title is my awesome thing of the day. **spending time with family**

There was ceremonies galore yesterday for police, fire fighters and soldiers. Hubby didn't want to go, but a lot of people from the fire station went. Hubby's dad went to one. Everywhere was packed.

Hopefully tomorrow we are going to look at another house. We had looked at the outside of it and hubby really liked it. I'm not so sure since its up on a big hill. We haven't seen the inside yet because when I called about it, it was way out of price range. Well.... Friday it dropped almost $30,000 and its almost where we need it to be. We are going to make an appointment to look at it and if we like it we can cross our fingers that they'll take less than what they have it listed for.

Remember 9/11/01

2011-09-09T07:42:00.005-04:00

The tenth anniversary of one of the biggest tragedies in the US is this Sunday September 11. It marks the day that terrorists hijacked 4 planes and crashed 2 into the World Trade Center, one into the side of the Pentagon and one went down in a field in Pennsylvania.

I was in English class my sophomore year in high school when it happened. Another teacher ran in our room and was screaming to us to turn on the tv. We all sat there and watched the first building burn. We all sat there and watched as the second airplane hit the second building. I will never forget that day. I hope you won't either. Even if you don't live in the USA, please just take a moment on Sunday to remember all the loved ones lost. Also, take the time this weekend to thank your local fire fighters and police for all they do. They were running into the buildings while everyone else was running out.

I also want to take this time to thank the American soldiers for fighting everyday for my and my family and friends safety.

All About the Kids

2011-09-08T07:06:00.004-04:00

Zach is growing up so fast. He weighs over 20 pounds now! He has 2 teeth with 2 more showing-getting ready to come in. He likes to bounce and chase balloons. He loves to watch bubbles and to cuddle. He's still always smiling and always laughing. He gets really goofy when he's tired and giggles nonstop, until he's reached the over tired point, then he's grumpy. He can stand for short periods of time without holding onto anything. Instead of sitting down while standing, most of the time he will fall backwards. I haven't found a food or drink that he doesn't like yet. He's adventurous, extremely happy, a flirt and oh, so much fun. Zach is also very much a mama's boy.

Lilly...oh, how the time has flown by. She'll be 7 in 6 1/2 months. She has her first loose tooth. She just noticed it yesterday and she can't stop wiggling it, which is gross to me. Teeth are just gross, unless they are growing in, then I can deal with it. She's in the first grade and very smart. She's very social, but kind of shy...and very emotional, just like me. She's very loving and cares deeply for her family, especially Zach. Those two are like 2 peas in a pod. Lilly loves to be outside and run. Her favorite game is hide and seek, but if you find her too soon, she gets upset. She looks like she's going to be taller than me, too. She's growing like a weed and eating all the time. She doesn't like to talk on the phone, unless its to me. She doesn't really like shopping either. Lilly does like to help me cook and bake. Her favorite tv shows are iCarly and Spongebob and her favorite movie is Hotel for Dogs. She loves movies about dogs.

So, that's the rundown on my kids. Just a little info I thought I'd share.

Nothing really interesting happened yesterday, well... other than the visit from the in-laws. The bought us a huge high chair because I don't have one, ok, I do, but its in storage and I can't find it. My grandma has on in her storage building and said she'd get it for me, but hasn't yet. Hubby's mom took that the wrong way and thought my grandma just wouldn't let me have it at all. (its the kind that is just basically a booster seat with a tray that you can strap into chairs. Just like the one in one of the pictures in yesterday's post. That one is at the in-laws house) I like these. They are small and fold up when not in use and I can put it under the table, or anywhere. The one she bought us is the kind that stands alone. Where am I going to put it? Hubby told her in our driveway several times that we didn't have room for it, but she made him carry it upstairs anyway. And we don't have room for it. We finally got her to take it back to her house. It was just crazy. It was like she didn't understand that we don't have the room. Seriously, no room at all.

I can't wait to be able to get out of that cramped apartment!

Some Pics of Zach

2011-09-07T06:56:00.000-04:00

I got an email yesterday from the realtor that we are using. She said that she finally got to talk to the other realtor who actually has the house listed and it turns out that the house isn't available and hasn't been since last time. She asked him why it was showing that it was available and all he could say was that he didn't know. I was really hoping to get that house. There still is a very small chance that we will. There is still time for the contract to fall through.

Got Lilly back yesterday and she wasn't sunburnt. I was very surprised. She kept talking about how big Zach was, but I think she just thinks that he grew a lot because she spent the weekend around her other brother who is only a month old. She always talks about how big Zach is when she gets back home from her father's house.

Here's some pics of Zach that has been taken over the past few days. I was wanting to get one of Lilly yesterday while she was trying to play some Minute to Win It games, but she kept hiding.

Hot Hot Hot

2011-09-06T07:17:00.000-04:00

Friday I got a phone call from the realtor that we're using and she told met that the house we want is back on the market! So... we went to take one more look at it by ourselves to make sure its what we want. We have a few more questions about the house and when we get the answers, we are making an offer. I'm so excited. I just hope we can get it done before someone else this time.

We did look at one other house that day, but it was smaller and I really didn't like the floor plan... and it was $30,000 more than the other house.

Hubby left Friday night to go to his uncles camp to help do some stuff. Now... in the evening the sun always hits our biggest window and it heats up the apartment like crazy. I didn't think anything about the apartment getting warmer, until it was 9:00 and it was still getting warmer. It kept getting hotter and hotter, the air conditioner was on... but it was just blowing air, nothing cool. I changed the filter around midnight hoping that would help, but it didn't. I didn't sleep at all and Zach was just miserable. I packed me a bag and him a bag and I was ready to call my grandma to tell her we were coming. It was 86 degrees. But... Zach finally calmed down a bit and I didn't want to wake him to take him and I didn't want to wake my grandma up. I know that she's up at all hours of the night, but I still was weary of calling her. Finally at 6 in the morning I had had enough and I took a quick shower and we took off.

We stayed at grandma's for a couple hours before I finally got a hold of hubby to give me the landlord's phone number. Hubby wanted me to go home and clean the kitchen up first... really? So, I called my mother-in-law to watch Zach because I didn't want him in the hot apartment. I get home and its 86 degrees in there and it was going to be a hot day. As soon as I stepped in I called the landlord and left a message and got to work. I washed dishes and did a load of laundry. I hooked up our portable dishwasher and decided to go to the store for some formula... and air conditioning. By now it was 90 degrees in there. I get to the store and the landlord calls me and tells me that he'll be right over. He lives maybe 15 minutes away, so I hurried out of the store to go home. I sit and wait and wait and wait for nearly an hour before he pulls in the driveway.

He says that he's going to check to see if it needs freon. He climbs up on the roof were the unit is and checks it. He says there is no pressure so he's going to leave to go get some, he'll be half an hour at the most. I go get ice cream while he's gone and its melting faster than I can eat it. An hour later he comes and so does his nephew who works on air conditioners for a living. They figure out that a little part is broken and needs replaced. Unfortunately, all the places they can get it is closed. The landlord leaves anyway in hopes of finding one. And hour and a half later he comes back and says he didn't find any. They put a temporary part on and it works fine. The temperature got up to 95 degrees before they got it fixed. I stayed and made sure that it was actually going to work and I left to go hang out with my mother in law and Zach. Hubby came back home Saturday night, he missed all the fun.

Sunday we all went to hubby's sister house to watch a college football game between the two state rivals. It eventually got rained out. I don't know if they got to finish or not. Last time I checked, the banner going across the bottom said they were on a lightning delay.

Yesterday was just a lazy day. We didn't do much. I did laundry and played with Zach. Zach was having one of his 'I want my mommy' days. He didn't want to do anything but be by me or one me and when he wasn't he fussed and cried. We eventually ended up going grocery shopping. It looks like he's getting another tooth, it'll be in within a few days and another one a few days after that. The two top teeth. I'm excited so be able to feed him real food. I gave him some fruit to suck on over the weekend. He likes pineapple, strawberries, grapes, cantaloupe... and I even gave him some chili.

We get Lilly back today. I hope her weekend was great. They were taking her camping. I just hope that she didn't get too hot or sunburnt or rained on. It rained most of the day Sunday and all day yesterday.. and its still raining. I also hope her father got my text last night telling him that today is gym day to make sure she's wearing tennis shoes and to pack her a lunch.

Well... I just emailed our realtor to see if she got the information we were wanting. Lets all cross our fingers that she did so we can make an offer.

No go on the house

2011-09-02T07:02:00.002-04:00

I had to leave work early to get Zach. Day care called me and I could hear him in the background crying and screaming. The teacher said he's been crying ever since I dropped him off. He won't eat or sleep, all he does is cry. So, I left to get him. When I got there he was asleep on one of the teachers shoulders. I picked him up and put him in his car seat and he started crying again. As soon as I get to the car, though, he stopped. He was himself again and I had no problem out of him the rest of the day.

Well..... we went to look at that house yesterday. It was junk. The floors were sagging, some rooms were just crooked, some light switches and vents were taped in place, half the lights didn't work, there was holes in the walls, the porch was falling apart, the garage leaked.... but the yard was unbelievable. Huge back yard with 2 big trees in each corner.

We go today to look at 2 more houses. I'm already not a fan of them because one is straight up a hill and the other is down a narrow side road and big hill where people drive crazy. We lose nothing by looking at them, so why not?

Lately, Zach has decided that something tastes better than his baby food... his toes. With just about every bite he takes of food, he pops that toe in his mouth. I finally managed to get a picture yesterday.

House time?

2011-09-01T07:00:00.000-04:00

I've fed Zach mashed potatoes and watermelon. I do think that is the only solid foods he's had. Apparently, he should be starting finger foods now. I know that I'm introducing foods to him slower than I did for Lilly, but he just got his second tooth. I've been waiting on those teeth to come in before I gave him certain foods. Last night I tried out some of those Gerber star things that melt in his mouth. It was banana flavor, his favorite. I put one in my hand and he played around with it, not putting it in his mouth. I was a bit baffled. Everything goes in his mouth, why not this? I finally put one in and he made a face and kept his mouth opened. The star was stuck to his upper gums. After a while he closed his mouth and spit it out. We waited a few minutes and tried again. This time, he put it in his own mouth, but quickly let it fall right back out. He was more interested in holding it in his hands and playing with it that he was eating it.

He likes to crawl around, especially in places he knows he can't go. Just about every time we put him down, he head straight for either the bathroom or the dishwasher. At day care, the first thing he does is head straight for the door to go into the hallway.

We get to look at a house today and I have my fingers crossed that its in better shape than we think. Today is going to be a long day only because I'm anticipating that appointment. It does sound like a nice house, but its just so old. It might not have things that it needs or be structurally sound. I hope someone fixed it up over the years. I shall report on it tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me that's its decent.

Lilly is off to her father's today and they are all going camping this weekend. She doesn't know yet. I hope she has fun. I won't see her again until Tuesday. Monday is a holiday, so he'll get to keep her an extra day. She's doing good in school so far. She hasn't gotten into any trouble with her talking or anything. I do like her teacher.

I know I haven't put my awesome thing of the day up for a while, but so much is going on that's its just too difficult to pick just one thing. I'm excited about looking at houses and maybe getting one soon. I'm excited about Lilly doing so well in school. I'm excited about Zach getting his teeth in. OOOOhhhhhh... **baby's first solid foods and the faces they make**

Untitled

2011-08-31T07:08:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow we have an appointment to go look at a house. I'm excited about it, as I always am when we get to look at one. Its got a decent sized level yard, one car garage.... one of the problems, though is that its really old... REALLY OLD. I'm talking like 150 years old. It might not be insulated, it might not have a proper foundation, but of course, all of that could have been fixed over time. I contacted the realtor that we like and she's going with us and she's going to keep her eye on that other house that we wanted and let us know if the offer falls through.

Feeling better today, by the way. Throat is still a bit sore and I still feel like I was hit by a bus, but its better today than it has been. My neck is killing me though. I slept on it funny a week ago and its still bothering me. I got hubby to rub my neck last night and I swear it just made it worse.

Zach's second tooth came in yesterday! We now have 2 bottom front teeth. It looks like the top front are trying to come in. His gums are swollen, but there's no visible sign of any coming in.

Hubby informed me last night that his friend in Florida is sick. Now, he told me forever ago that she might get sick since it runs in the family. Its some kind of heart disease, but he doesn't know exactly what. The doctors gave her only 6 months to live. This disease took both her father and her brother. She's trying to get up enough money to come in to WV where her mom lives. She wants to see hubby and all of us. She hasn't seen Zach yet. I haven't met her yet. If she comes in, I guess we are all going out to dinner.

Cough, Cough..... ow

2011-08-30T07:14:00.000-04:00

I was sick yesterday. I'm still a bit sick today, but at least I'm functional, a little.

Friday we went to look at that house. It was everything we wanted. Yeah, it needed a lot of updates, but it was perfect. The realtor didn't really have that much information on the house and we also wanted to know how much utilities run. He said he would give us a call when he knew. Well... while I was lying in bed yesterday, I get a call from him. Within the 3 days since we looked at it, someone else gave them an offer and it was accepted. I'm mad at the realtor for not calling us. I was going to give him until today and I was going to call him. He should have called us and gave us a heads up or something. So, we are very unhappy. We thought we were finally going to get out of our apartment.

Saturday was my best friend's wedding. The weather was nice and I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while. A few teachers from high school came and that was exciting enough. I got there early enough to help her set up some stuff. She wanted cupcakes and a small cake for the top. She had this cardboard tower and it looked pretty. Well.... the tower fell with all the cakes. A few of them survived. Not a big deal. She didn't seem to care. I did get a picture of it before it fell. I didn't get to see her much, but I knew she was busy. She was having a pool party after, but I didn't get to go.

Sunday I took Lilly to go see Phineas and Ferb Live. It was a surprise. She had no idea. I parked here at work and we walked over to the mall and she saw a sign for it. I asked her if she would like to go see it and she said no. I told her that was her surprise and she got a little upset. I got her some ice cream and we walked over to the place where the play was. After she saw the stage, she got a little excited. We bought her a plastic trumpet and Zach got a Phineas doll.

Sunday night I started feeling bad. My head got real stuffy and I couldn't breathe. I didn't sleep well and no medicine I took helped at all. I even tried the breathe right strips and those did nothing. Zach was up all night because he has another tooth that's coming in. Lilly was up with a nose bleed and nightmares. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep altogether. I felt like crap. It was like my head was going to explode and someone ran me over with a bus. I got up and attempted to go to work, but it just wasn't happening. I took the kids to day care and went back to bed, where I stayed most of the day. Today is a little better. I have a sore throat and I'm still stuffy. I have training today. I don't really want to go. I don't know if it was allergies or a cold or what......

Here's some pics of the kids I took at the wedding.

Houses

2011-08-26T06:55:00.003-04:00

My meeting yesterday lasted 3 hours, but it wasn't too boring. The guy doing the meeting was really funny and kept everyone's attention by addressing them directly. He's good. I got out of here a little late, though. I usually leave work between 4:30 and 4:50, but I left yesterday at 5:10 and the traffic was horrible. What usually takes me 20 minutes to get home, took me an hour. There were no auto accidents or anything, it was just so congested.

I get to leave early today to hang out with my bff. The plan was to go to my house so I can help her put her wedding favors together and stuff like that, but I had no chance to clean at all yesterday. The house is a mess. I told her yesterday that it is a mess mostly because we have so much stuff now and nowhere to put it. She surprised me yesterday and called to hang out during my lunch hour. We didn't do anything. We just sat in her car and talked in a parking lot. It was raining and neither one of us wanted to get out in it. It was a nice catching up time. Even though I do talk to her almost everyday on the phone, it was still nice. She showed me some wedding stuff and some pictures and such.

Me and hubby took the kids to go look at some houses, too, yesterday. We didn't go inside...it was more of a "drive by and see if we like the outside of it enough to look inside." We liked both of them. One we have an appointment today to look at around 5. It looked nice. The roof is flat, its on a flat lot, the road to get to it is flat. Its big and the yard is a good size, but parking is not going to work. There is no garage, but that can be easily fixed since there is a carport, but there is a narrow driveway. We'd have to park one behind the other, which means if one of us wanted to leave and was blocked in, we'd have to move the cars around. Seems like a bit of a hassle and I know it would get old quick. Hopefully we can find a way to fix that little problem if we like the inside.

The other house hubby's dad told us about. It was nice. It was up on a hill away from other houses and it had a small flat yard and the rest was a hill and a bunch of trees. I really liked the way it looked on the outside, so I called the lady on the sign and she was giving me details. Now...I was wondering why I hadn't seen this house on the internet and how his dad knew about it before me. I'm looking everyday for houses. Well...this house is $30,000 above our budget! I really don't think its worth that much.

Hopefully soon we will find something. I'm really hoping that the house we are going to look at is exactly what we want. Its a far reach, but I can wish.

Give a look at some of these blogs I have on my blog roll. You might find one that you really like.

Nothing Much. You?

2011-08-25T06:58:00.002-04:00

I had to go to the dentist yesterday. I don't know if I've mentioned this before or not, but teeth make me sick. I can't even see a loose tooth without wanting to throw up. I don't know why and I don't know what I'm going to do when Lilly is ready to lose her first tooth. The scraping noises from the tools the dentist uses use to make me sick, but I have overcome that one. I had to get 2 fillings yesterday. My mouth hurt. Luckily the pain is gone, at least for no anyway. It hurt a little this morning when I was trying to brush my teeth. Last night was horrible. I guess it could have been worse. I didn't have any teeth pulled or a root canal or anything.

So the idea of taking Lilly to the Wizard of Oz play is gone now. Since I won Phineas and Ferb tickets off the radio, I don't see a good time I can take her to Oz. I was going to take her Sunday, but that's when the P & F play is. I could take her Saturday, but it'll be late and it'll be after a full day out in the sun for my bff's wedding.

Other than that, there's nothing really going on right now. I have some training today, taking a half day tomorrow so I can help my bff do some last minute stuff, Saturday is the wedding, Sunday is P&F.

Don't forget to head on over to http://www.smilesareeverywhere.blogspot.com/ to check out my other blog. And I have added a few pics to my flickr account also. http://www.flickr.com/photos/bekahbug04/ I don't know if there's anything new on there that I haven't put on here.

Did You Feel It?

2011-08-24T07:06:00.002-04:00

Yes, it happened, so let's just go ahead and talk about it. Yesterday there was a 5.8 earthquake centered in Virginia, USA and felt from miles around. I felt it here in West Virginia. I was in a training class and all of a sudden, the building started shaking and popping. At first we though it was a strong wind just swaying the building until the boss guy went in his office and said that there was no wind. Then we thought one of the chemical plants had an explosion. West Virginia is full of chemical plants. I was getting ready to text hubby since he works at the one closest to my work when someone from outside the room yelled that it was an earthquake. The buildings around us began to evacuate. We learned it was centered in Virginia and I started freaking out. My bff lives in Virginia. If I felt what I felt being this far away, I'd hate to know what happened where she was, right in the middle of it all.

I started calling her, it went straight to voicemail. I tried again, same thing. I tried about ten more times before I tried her boyfriend. He didn't answer either. Then, the intercom came on for us to evacuate. My boss was out at a doctor's appointment, so I sent her a text to tell her what was going on. I kept trying to call my bff and her boyfriend. I didn't know if maybe the phone lines were down or maybe if there was just so many calls going in and out that I just wasn't getting through. I finally gave up and called her mom. She didn't know there was an earthquake so she started freaking out. She said she was going to try to get a hold of her too. Finally after about 20 minutes, she called me back and said that my bff and her cousin got a hold of her cousin's mom and they were ok. Knowing that, I called my mom to see if she felt anything. Mom said she thought she was getting dizzy and that was it. She didn't know what really happened.

After an hour we were let back in. My bff's mom called me again and said that she got a hold of my bff and that she was still trying to call me. It took me about another 10 tries, but I got her.

My bff and her cousin were out shopping when it started. She said that stuff started falling off the shelves and then the shelves started wobbling. She grabbed her cousin and ran out of the store and by that time it had quit. She's ok, and that's all that matters. She was a little shook up and afraid to drive for a while.

So, that's my experience. I spent most of my time worried about my bff since she was right in the middle of it all. I heard last night that the tremors were felt all the way up in Canada.

I was reading some stuff on it yesterday and I saw some comments from people on the West Coast, in California. Now, I want you guys to understand, that here on the East Coast, stuff like this just doesn't happen. We are use to tornados, hurricanes, and stuff like that, but when the earth moves from under us, that's completely different. Yes, we were freaking out. Yes, it was the first time most of us felt anything like that. We just aren't prepared for earthquakes over here. It doesn't happen, not like this anyway.

I do think that some people are blowing this way out of proportion though. No one got hurt and no buildings fell over. It was different, but now lets focus on the next problem. Hurricane Irene. She's coming. Now over here in good ol' WV, we will probably only get some strong winds and a good storm, but nothing like they are going to get in the Carolinas.

So, here's my awesome thing of the day and I think I even used it before, but it applies here as well~ **getting news that someone you know is just fine after a natural disaster hits near them**

Important Decision

2011-08-23T06:55:00.002-04:00

So, I have come to the decision.... now, this is a very important and life changing decision... that I would like to have one more child. I have yet to tell hubby about my revelation. I was going to let this decision be up to him seeing as how he is the older one. I told him a few weeks ago, that it was all up to him, that I'll be happy either way, and I'll still be happy either way, but I would like to have one more.

Now, of course, we will wait until we have a house and are settled in. I can't imagine trying to squeeze another body in our apartment. I've been looking online at houses again, as I do everyday, but I have a different outlook on them now. Yes, we've needed to move for a long time now, but I'm more driven by this new discovery.

I love and adore my children. I would do anything for them. What better way to spread all of this love I have then to have another child? I am ready, although certain circumstances prevents us from being completely ready, whenever the right time arouses, I'll be ready. House come first this time. I just hope I can get hubby on board with this. I don't know when will be a good time to discuss this. I already know what he'll say and its things I already know. That we need a house and stuff like that. I know. And more importantly, I know I want to bring another life into this world.

I'm great at being a mother. Yes, it wears me out and is frustrating at times, but its mostly rewarding and so wonderful.

Zach's **first tooth** popped through yesterday!! Its on the bottom...one of the front ones. He was giving me kisses and then decided to chew on my chin like he always does, but this time I felt something. I popped his mouth open and there it was.

Tonight at Lilly's school, they are having an open house, but it starts at 5. I understand not wanting to have it so late, but a lot of people don't get off work until 5. I'm going to try to make it, but I have training today and I don't just want to walk out of that. If it runs too late, I will. I want to go. They are also doing a book swap and I know that'll be something Lilly will enjoy.

A theater group here in the community is putting together a Wizard of Oz play. Its been showing for almost a week now and will continue for another week or so. I'm going to try to take Lilly this Sunday. That's both of our favorite movie. I'm sure she will like it. We've been in need of some girl time anyway.

Long weekend

2011-08-22T07:28:00.000-04:00

First day of school went ok. I picked her up at the Y when I was dropping Zach off and then asked her what she wanted for breakfast. Out of all the things, she picks donuts from the gas station. We ate donuts and went to school with plenty of time left, so we hung out in the car and listened to music. Then, it was time... they unlocked the doors and we all herded in. Luckily, Lilly's class is right next to the front doors, so now I don't have to hobble down the long hallways with a crowd. Her teacher is tall. In fact, that was the first thing out of my mouth when I saw her. Me and Lilly were the first ones in the class and the teacher came and introduced herself and I, like an idiot, said, "Wow, you're tall!"

The desks are in lines of groups of 3. The desk to the left of Lilly is empty. Her little boyfriend was assigned to sit there, but he switched schools at the last minute. When Lilly learned this, she got teary eyed until another little boy came in. I slipped out the door then.

I went home and went to bed for a good 3 hours and I had to force myself to get up. I had cookies to make and a car to clean out and a shower to take. The day got away from me because before I knew it, it was time to go. I went and picked up Zach and then went to school to get Lilly. And again.... when the bell rang, we herded ourselves inside. I got Lilly and walked down the hall to her old classroom to visit hubby's mom. Zach got down and crawled a circle around the entire room. The kids that hadn't gotten on buses yet were very amused by him. I basically had to force Lilly to go so I could feed her before I had to take her to her father.

Lilly said she likes her teacher, which of course is a really good thing. I hope today goes well too. Her father just told me that he didn't put tennis shoes on her and today is a gym day. I'm going to be so mad if I have to leave work, just to get her some shoes.

Hubby went camping Friday night. I didn't want to go because its at the point where I just can't stand to be around his friends anymore... and hubby is starting to feel the same way.

Saturday was the firefighter picnic and it was ok. Zach kept me company and the food was free. Hubby talked me into signing up for a cornhole tournament. We won the first round, but lost the second. It was both of our's first time playing.

It was hot. Poor Zach was sweating. I kept taking him in front of the misting fan, and he loved it. I left with Zach around 7.

Sunday was a lazy day. I did laundry and dishes and laid around.

Bubble Time!

2011-08-18T07:08:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is the first day of school!! And I have the day off!!! I can't wait until tomorrow. I'm picking Lilly up at the Y when I drop Zach off (took forever to get her father to finally agree to that), taking her home for breakfast, then taking her to school. The rest of the day is mine. I think I'm going to end up going grocery shopping again, but then I'm napping, then making a batch or two of cookies, then I'm napping, then I'm making cookies, then I'm napping...you get the picture. At 3 though, I have to be back at the school to pick her up. I don't know what to do from there. I don't know if I'm going to take her home or just go ahead and take her to the Y so her father can pick her up. We still have to figure that one out.

I had the kids outside playing yesterday and I got some really great pics of them together. Lilly was **blowing bubbles** for Zach. He was so excited.

Lilly went to a wave pool yesterday......... and got sunburnt. She's burnt on the tops of her hands and the back of her legs. I thought those were some really odd places. I asked her if she was laying on her stomach at one point and she said she wasn't. I feel bad for her. I am glad that summer is just about over and we don't have to freak out about the sun getting her as much.

No update tomorrow for either one of my blogs. I shall return Monday..... maybe.

And if for any reason you want to talk about something, give me some ideas, tell me about a typo, or even comment or whatever and you don't want to make it public on here, you can now email me for this blog. bekahbug04@gmail.com

Zach in a box

2011-08-17T06:57:00.000-04:00

Lilly's last field trip of the summer is today. She's going to a wave pool. Tomorrow they Y is going to have a food fight for all kids that want to participate. Lilly doesn't. She wasn't old enough last year to be in it, so her class just watched. One kid ended up throwing up and now Lilly doesn't want to do it ever. It got so messy and gross that one kid just vomited.

I broke my wedding ring yesterday. I have no idea how it happened. I just took it off because I was going to put some lotion on and I noticed that it was wider. I roll it over and sure enough, it was broken. I have what they call a jacket or wrap as a wedding ring so my engagement ring will fit inside of it. Now I just feel weird without it on. This is the 3rd time its broken since we got married. I guess its broken once a year. We've been married for 3 years.......... hmm........ I guess its a good thing I don't believe in signs.

Nothing much to say today, I have to keep this one short to be able to start my workday. Lots to do.

Here's a pic of Zach in a box. I emptied a box of diapers and just put him in it. I pushed him around like a car for a while, then he just played in it for a really long time. Just sitting there.

What? Its NOT Christmas??

2011-08-16T07:33:00.001-04:00

I'm at that point in the year where I start to become obsessed with Christmas. I try to plan out everything I'm going to buy and I even go as far as to make spreadsheets. I don't want to forget anyone and I don't want to overspend. I try to buy a little here and there, but the big shopping happens on Black Friday. I think that needs to be a national holiday. I'm not sure if I'm going to have any money to go Black Friday shopping this year or not, and even if I do, I'm not sure if I have someone to watch the kids.

I have planned out what almost everyone is going to get and I even have some stuff in carts online. One of my favorite places to Christmas shop is http://www.abcdistributing.com/ They have so much stuff and its cheap. I bought almost everything from them last year. I have shirts for my brothers in my cart at http://www.cafepress.com/ Mostly lolcatz stuff and an Angry Bird shirt. **Online shopping** is my awesome thing of the day. Its still not as fun as actual shopping, but you don't have to deal with crowds or weather or mean cashiers.

I'm trying to start saving up money, but its not going as well as I had hoped. I'm still awaiting my raise that I was promised.

Yesterday Lilly's school was suppose to have popsicles on the playground for K-1 so they can meet their teachers and whatnot. I even left early so I could make sure we got there in time. It stormed. I tried to get a hold of my mother in law to ask if they are going to move it inside, but then Lilly's nose just started pouring the blood. She woke up at 3 am that morning with a nose bleed that ended up all over her sheets and now she had another one. We got that one under control, but by that time the storm had really kicked up and I decided that even if they did move it inside, I wasn't taking the kids out in that stuff. Lilly didn't know about it, I was going to surprise her, so there was no disappointment from her when we didn't go.

The countdown for the first day of school is on!! 3 days! I texted Lilly's father yesterday to see if I can get Lilly from him in the morning so I can take her to school and then meet him somewhere after so I can pick her up. I want this to be an every year thing. I want to be able to take her to her first day of school and pick her up. I want to do this with both kids... but he is making it very difficult. My original plan was to just meet him at the Y since he was going to go there anyway if I wasn't getting her and then take her back home to eat breakfast, then take her to school. He told me last night if I want to take her, I have to meet him at his work, which is 20 miles away. I'm half tempted to tell him nevermind and then go get her at the Y after he drops her off. If I have to go that far, there's no time to go home and eat breakfast. I want her to eat breakfast with me so we have time to find her classroom and meet her teacher and everything. Last year she ran out of time for breakfast. I guess I'm going to take her to McDonalds or something for breakfast since there's one right there beside where he works. Why does he have to be like this? Why does he always have to make things difficult?

So, today is the 34 anniversary(?) of Elvis Presley's death. Hubby was 2 months old. I wasn't even though of yet. My mom was 15. They are talking about it on the radio. The DJ is asking listeners if they remember where they were when they heard the news. He said people remember things like that, where they were when big events happened...like 9/11. I remember. I was in English class working on my daily journal when another English teacher came running in our room yelling that the WTC was hit. The entire school spent the rest of the day watching the news. Do you remember where you were? Or can you think of another big event or big news and remember where you were?

Sniff

2011-08-15T07:27:00.000-04:00

They Y was having a lock-in Friday night where the kids get to go spend the night and camp out. It was for only ages 8-12, but they opened it up for all school agers and I let Lilly go. She stayed up until 6 in the morning and then only took an hour nap. She wasn't as whiney as I thought she was going to be with no sleep. We went to visit my mom on Saturday and she was ok. Mom was amazed by Zach and how much he's grown since she's seen him last.

Sunday me and hubby went to go look at a house. It was huge. Almost 3,000 square feet and a good sized yard to go with it. The only problem is that the house needs a lot of work done. I wouldn't mind putting in some time and money to fix it up the way we want it. It'll be kinda like building our own house, but hubby thinks it'll take too much money to fix it up to even make it livable. So, I guess we're still looking then.

Allergies have kicked in full blast and I'm miserable. With no sleep, this constant numbing headache, and my nose running and being stuffy at the same time is not a fun day. I'm off on Friday and I'm very much looking forward to it. That's the day that school starts here. Why a Friday? I have no idea. They did that last year too.

Here's some pics I took of Zach yesterday. I kept trying to get pics of Lilly, but she kept covering her face up or moving fast so she'd be a blur.

^_^

2011-08-12T07:08:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to JC Penny to so a bit of clothes shopping for my kids. I got Lilly 4 shirts and 2 shorts and Zach 2 onsies and 2 shorts for $39.82!! And then I headed over to Borders and got a bunch of stuff I'm holding onto for Christmas. I got Lilly 3 books and some craft stuff and Zach one book and 2 little cars. Very exciting.

When I got home, I decided I wanted to go to Walmart to get Lilly's backpack and maybe a couple pairs of jeans or something. I knew Walmart had the backpack that she would want. Sure enough, the black iCarly bag was there and we picked her up one more shirt and one pair of jeans. Zach got an orange Halloween onsie and a brown onsie that said, "My Mommy is Exhausted" I love it! Also picked Lilly up some crayons, a little folder and a Composition book. I think I did good yesterday.

Tomorrow me and the kids are heading out to see my family. I hope all goes well. Hubby's not going. He hardly ever goes with me. He went with me last time, though, so I don't think he'll go with me again for a long time.

Other than that, nothing really happened and I can't really think of anything else to talk about. hahaha. See what Fridays do to me? I'm off next Friday. Its the first day of school. What ever happened to summer? Where did it go?

Is 5 1/2 years such a big difference?

2011-08-11T06:55:00.000-04:00

I have come to realize that my parenting styles have differed between my children. With Lilly, I was a bit more relaxed and just went with the flow. I let things happen as they happened and I didn't worry that much. I felt very comfortable being a single mom and even though I didn't sleep much, I didn't really feel tired. I worked odd shifts at a gas station too. I played constantly with Lilly when she was with me and we did everything together.

With Zach, I'm a bit more structured and organized. We still have our fun, but things have changed. I am now making time for two children and a husband and a job that gets me home kind of late. I feel like I have to plan our days in order to squeeze everything in. I am tired all the time, but someone at work told me that its just the age difference. I was 19 when I had Lilly and 24 when I had Zach. Not much of a difference, but I have noticed that since I quit my job at the gas station and working odd hours, I'm more tired. Is it because I'm older? Is it because I'm on a schedule now and if I go off routine it throws me off? I don't know. Is it because I'm doing more these days? Possibly.

I've heard that mom's get more relaxed with every kid they have. Their first one they are freaking out about everything, not letting them explore and eat bugs or things like that. But after their second or third child, the mom's are more relaxed. I'm backwards, I suppose. I still let Zach explore and do what he wants basically, as long as he doesn't get hurt. I just keep a closer eye on him than I did with Lilly. Ok, no, that's worded wrong. I watched Lilly like a hawk, but I let her do things. I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

I guess with Zach I'm trying to make more things 50/50 between me and hubby when it comes to how we want to raise him. We have different views on how to do things. With Lilly, it was all me and I didn't have to worry about what other people thought. Me and hubby were raised very differently. I was raised out in the country, playing outside all day every day.. most of the time barefoot. I only had my brothers to play with too. He was raised in the city and had neighbors to play with.

My main goal as a parent is to raise happy, healthy children who aspire to be and do whatever they want. I hope my kids grow up to be kind, smart, considerate, handy, crafty, thrifty, helpful, outgoing, strong-willed, empathetic, and learn to be a leader instead of a follower. I'm sure most parents wish this for their kids. Lilly still says that I'm a cool mom and I hope that a day doesn't go by that she thinks otherwise, even when I'm strict.

I let my kids eat junk food and watch tv. I let my kids get messy and paint with their hands. I let my kids play in the dirt and catch bugs. I let my kids build forts out of blankets and pillows. I give my kids ice cream just because I want to. (Lilly like vanilla, but Zach is a chocolate fan) I let them take bubble baths and make mohawks out of shampoo. I let them splash me. We have lots of fun, but there are still rules to follow and chores to do. I don't let my kids go out of control or be mean. I don't let them trash the house or draw on the walls. I don't buy them everything they see and I sneak some veggies in the food without them knowing... thank you food processor. I teach them to stand up for themselves, but to share. I let them explore but without harming themselves. I don't let them stick their fingers in light sockets or anything.

Kids will be kids. Let them be kids. I never had the chance so I'm trying like hell to let mine have a childhood.

School is Almost Here!

2011-08-10T06:52:00.001-04:00

Its almost that time again. Time to send the youngens back to school. Time to pack lunches and make sure homework is done. I've been making Lilly slowly try on all the clothes that are a bit questionable. If I'm not 100% sure they fit, try it on. I've noticed that as she gets older her desire to try on clothes has gone down. I use to tell her that we were going a fashion show, but now she sees it as more of a chore than play. I don't blame her. I don't like trying on clothes either, at least not in great quantities. Looks like she gets her lack of enthusiasm for clothes/fashion from me. But oh, if Justin Bieber or iCarly is on something, that's when she gets excited.

Most of her clothes still do fit, but I'm not going to make her go into a new year of school in nothing but old clothes. I will buy her a couple of outfits and a few extra pair of jeans. She needs a new backpack and a new pack of crayons also. From what I hear from hubby's sister, they provide most of the supplies there at school. They provided everything in Kindergarten, and I half expected them to do the same in first grade. I will get a her a simple folder also, even if she doesn't use it at school, we can use it at home to put some artwork in or something. Awesome thing of the day? **going back to school shopping** I always loved doing back to school shopping. It was the only time I got new things when I was in school... not counting birthdays and Christmas of course.

I remember when I was still in school. About a week before school started I would try to retrain myself to get up early, that way it wouldn't be so hard by the time I actually had to do it. I don't have to do that with my kids. I get them up at 6:00 every morning to go to day care so I can go to work. Thankfully day care transports the kids to and from school. Both of my kids are early risers and always have been so its not much of a problem getting them up. Lilly is a little grouchy in the morning, but after we get passed brushing her hair, her mood changes...most of the time. Some days she's just whiney all day. Zach always wakes up with a smile on his face every morning. I wonder how long that will last.

I do hope to get a house before Christmas this year. Of course, now that we've been pre-approved for a loan, there is nothing out there that we like. Maybe we can find one right around Christmas and it could be everyone's big gift. I just think our 'needs' for a house are a little too much and we could rethink some things. We would love to have a decent size back yard-this is nonnegotiable. The kids need room to play outside without being in the middle of the street. Garage is a plus, but not a must have, although lately we've been turning down houses without garages. 3 bedroom or more is a must. I will not back down from that either. There's also a certain 'half' of our town that we need to live in to keep Lilly in the same school. The town is so big there are two elementary schools and they are only about 2 miles apart. We can live anywhere between the Y and the fire station in order for her to stay.

We went out to eat at last night with hubby's parents and there was clowns there doing free balloon art and face paintings. Lilly got dolphins on her face and a flower balloon. Even though she knew she had to wash it off when she got home, it made her day.

Just 5 More Minutes Mom.....

2011-08-09T06:59:00.002-04:00

I'm so extremely exhausted today. It feels like someone hung bricks from my eyes and then ran me over with a bus. I'm seriously thinking about leaving work early just so I can run home and catch maybe an hour of sleep. We'll see what the day brings.

To be honest, I'm not loving my "new" car. Its not that its big or anything, its just a bunch of little things. I don't like that I didn't really get to pick it out, that it was just sorta decided for me that I was getting this car, but I can't complain... it was free. Then there's the little nit picky things~ it doesn't have leather seats, its very difficult to get Zach and his car seat in and out, its such a gas guzzler... just little things like that. Things that just annoy me mostly. Except the gas... that's horrible.

Today is 60's day at the Y today. Lilly is wearing a long black shirt with different colored little peace signs all over it. She's wearing a long peace sign necklace and a tye dye peace sign bracelet and I put a braid in the front of her hair. She didn't want to wear a headband, but they are taking the kids swimming today. Yesterday, Lilly was the only one dressed up in 50's clothes. I made sure she had a change of clothes with her, too. She got stung by a yellow jacket yesterday while at they Y. Right on the back of her left leg, kinda close to the bend of the leg. I thought it was her first bee sting, so I didn't know if she was allergic or not, but apparently she's been stung before while at her father's.

I don't really have much to say today. I'm just so tired, I can't think. I might post again later today after I have some coffee.

Go check out my other blog... http://www.smilesareeverywhere.blogspot.com/

3 Day Weekend is Over

2011-08-08T07:07:00.000-04:00

Friday was a good day. I took the kids to day care and went home and slept and extra hour before I got up to go grocery shopping. Hubby gave me $200 to go get food for the house. I shopped and had great coupons. I got a lot of stuff and my total came up to $196.21!! I'm good.

After my great shopping experience I headed out to the Y for the family picnic and kid talent show. It was interesting. There was a lot of dancers, a rapper, a group of girls singing, some kids 'break dancing,' a kid that did balloon animals, there was a lot of variety. Today is 50's day, I sent Lilly's poodle skirt to her father's on Friday. Lets hope he dressed her up.

Saturday was kind of a lazy day. Hubby went on a structure fire from 4 in the morning til 7:30. He hopped back in bed at 8 and didn't get up until 1 in the afternoon. I had the kitchen clean and laundry done by then. As soon as he got up he told me to get me and Zach read cuz we were going to a hospital to pick up a backboard for the fire station. We left and went to Wendy's where some fire fighters were set up to give away smoke alarms and a fire truck was there so kids could climb in it. We visited for a while and went back home. 5:00 hubby hopped back in bed and didn't get up until 8:30 and then he left to go pick up his 4-wheeler at his mom's house. I spent a lot of quality time with Zach yesterday with Dad snoring in the background.

Sunday we went four wheeling. How stupid can some people be? Seriously? These are suppose to be TRAINED search and rescue guys from the fire station. They kept running off by themselves and then we'd lose them. Two of them were drinking beer like it was water. One of the guys tipped his four wheeler and threw his wife off. We didn't find one of the guys that took off until we had given up on him and was heading back to our cars to wait for him. Not really that much fun.

Last night I felt so sick. I don't know what was wrong. I didn't really 'get' sick, but I felt sick. I felt hot and cold at the same time, my stomach was hurting like crazy and it had that feeling like I was going to throw up. Every time I closed my eyes the room felt like it was spinning. Zach started crying right after we I had laid down. I tried to get him, but as soon as I sat up, my head took off like a tornado and I couldn't stand up. I had to lay back down. Hubby finally offered to get him. He goes in there and turns a bunch of lights on just to make a bottle and then he turns the tv on to feed him. And then he couldn't figure out why he wouldn't go back to sleep....... um... yeah.

I love this first picure. I was trying to have a mini photo shoot with him on the porch, but he wasn't having any of it.

Oh...and

2011-08-04T12:54:00.001-04:00

Here's that list that I was talking about a few days ago. I found it.

Top clues you’re becoming old

* Falling asleep in front of the TV
* Feeling stiff
* Groaning when you bend down
* Losing your hair
* Hating noisy places
* Thinking teachers/policemen/ doctors look really young
* Getting more hairy - ears, face, eyebrows, nose etc.
* Struggling to use technology
* Forgetting people's names
* Not knowing songs in the Top 10
* Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style
* Driving slowly
* Complaining more
* Misplacing glasses/bag/ car keys
* Young colleagues
* Allowing yourself a mid-afternoon nap
* Complaining about the rubbish on television these days
* Ears growing bigger
* Preferring a Sunday walk to sleeping in
* Being shocked by racy music videos
* Going on a "no children" cruise
* Taking a keen interest in gardening
* You like getting asked for ID
* Knowing your alcohol limit
* Wearing corduroy trousers
* Telling people exactly what you are thinking, even if it isn't polite
* Falling asleep after one glass of wine
* Taking an unnaturally keen interest in the local free newspaper
* Applying for an allotment
* Driving instead of drinking
* Not being able to lose weight quickly
* Never going out without a coat
* Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather
* Taking a cushion to the football game because the seats are uncomfortable
* Putting everyday items in the wrong place
* Choosing radio over television
* Wearing cardigans
* Buying newspapers every day
* Paying by cash or check
* Wearing head-to-toe beige

The ones in red are what I feel I do. Am I old?

Today is my Friday

2011-08-04T06:54:00.002-04:00

Hubby's grandpa saw Zach yesterday. We didn't take Lilly down there to see him. His medication wasn't being very nice to him. He was having some kind of reaction to the medicine and wasn't in his right mind at all. We just didn't want Lilly to see him like that. After he calmed down a little, I took Zach to see him. He was so excited to see the baby.

I'm taking tomorrow off work. It was going to be my 'catch up on sleep' day, but I'm going to the Y for a family picnic and the kids talent show. It sounds like its going to be a lot of fun.

Hubby got quite a raise yesterday. Its going to help out a lot, but not enough. I need to get my raise so I can take care of my own things. I asked my boss about it yesterday and she said the HR department is still 'gathering' the information for my promotion. Yeah. I bet they're not. Anyway... I just hope it comes in soon. I need it. I need a new pair of glasses. Lilly needs school clothes. My little girl isn't so little anymore, but her clothes sure are. It doesn't look like she absolutely needs shirts, I think most of them still fit her. Pants, shorts and shoes are a different story. And Zach... he's going to need clothes real soon. He's in 6-9 month old clothes, but he's getting bigger by the day. This stash of clothes that he's wearing now is all I have left from clothes that was given to us.

I heard about the girl in Sydney yesterday that had a bomb strapped around her neck. I hope everything and everyone is ok. Last I heard/read, the authorities safely removed the bomb from her and found some kind of ransom note.

So, there will be no update tomorrow on either of my blogs, but that doesn't mean you can't still stop by. I'm still in need of smiley faces, or frownie faces. I can only get so many before I run out, I need the help of the other people in this world to keep my smiling blog up and running.

No Title Today

2011-08-03T07:03:00.001-04:00

Hubby's grandpa was sent home from the hospital. There is nothing they can do for him any longer. He can't eat or drink anything, its all going to his lungs, even with a feeding tube. We were all going to visit him yesterday, but they didn't get him moved until real late. Lilly was already asleep and Zach was fighting sleep. Hubby went with his sister. We are all going to go today to see him. Grandpa told hubby's niece yesterday that- now that he's home, he can finally just close his eyes and be happy now. I hope he gets to see Zach before he closes his eyes. Zach is his little man. He proudly shows pictures of Zach to anyone who is around and talks about him forever. Hubby was feeling understandably depressed yesterday and I told him- at least he's home now. That seemed to make him feel a little better. The hospital wasn't doing much help. The nursing home the hospital sent him to was treating him badly, letting him fall out of bed and not changing him and so many more things. He's home now.

On a different note....... I went shopping yesterday for glasses since mine are still broken. I came up empty handed. I want a pair of frames that I can just pop my lenses into, but apparenly my lenses are small and are a shape that no one makes anymore. Its oval!!! Every other pair I've seen are~ a) Oval, but bigger. b) Square. c) rectangle. d) round. e) just bigger. I don't even have the option of getting my lenses cut down to fit, everything else is bigger. I even looked at kids glasses and they were just a smidgin bigger.

Friday is a family picnic and the **kids talent show** at the Y. Lilly said that she doesn't want to do it, she just wants to watch. I'll be there to watch as well. It would be nice if she would get up there and do something, but its whatever she wants to do. Next week is a flashback week. She gets to dress up as if she were from the 50's on Monday, all the way to the 90's on Friday. I think I have everything picked out for her to wear. I just have to find a shirt for the 80's and get her some earrings. Oh, no I don't. I don't think I have anything for 90's day. Anyone have any suggestions?

Just Thinking

2011-08-02T07:00:00.001-04:00

Sometimes when I really get to thinking, I have this WOW moment when I realize exactly where I am in life. I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm not in high school surrounded by all my friends. I'm not living care free without any bills. I am a mom. That's the biggest WOW moment. Yeah, I've been a mother for over 6 years now, but it still catches me off guard from time to time.

Right after I had Lilly, I didn't really FEEL like a mother. I felt more like a permanent babysitter, or maybe even her bigger sister. She was my mini me. We did everything together, like sisters would. I came out of my mom's house taking care of my little brothers to having a child of my own. It came natural and I was (and still am) good at being a mother. When I look at Zach now, sometimes its just like the old days when I cared for my brothers. The first couple weeks of his life, I kept calling him by my brothers names.

I have two kids. Who woulda thought? It feels natural and weird all at the same time.

I'm married. I've been married for 3 years now. Being a wife came natural too, but when I stop and actually think about it, it is weird. My husband is my best friend and I love him dearly, but sometimes... its like... oh how can I put this? Its like.... I'm in another world or something. When I was younger, I always dreamed of being married with kids and I knew it would happen, but its hard to believe that it has happened. Does that make any sense? Time has flown by and things have happened so fast that sometimes its hard to believe that things actually have happened. It seems like yesterday I was a freshman in high school and now I'm 25 and married with two kids.

Does anyone else feel this way? Like time has just gone by so fast and when you blink your in another world? You're not a little kid anymore. You have a job, or you're in college finding your path to what's going to become your career. You have kids and a spouse and debt.
I'm very happy with my life and the paths that I have chosen and the people I choose to surround myself with. I just can't believe that its all actually happening sometimes.

Can't See

2011-08-01T07:04:00.001-04:00

Friday.... I had to go to the courthouse to get my marriage licence so I could get the registration on my car changed to my married name. I know, I know...I should have done that a long time ago, but I'm lazy. Hubby was trying to get things changed over from my old car to my 'new' car so he met me at the DMV. We got there at 4:30 and wasn't called up to a window for a bit over an hour. I needed to leave to go pick Zach up. We went to the window, I presented my marriage licence, and I left hubby to deal with the rest. I called day care to ask when they start charging late fees and how much it was because I knew I was going to be late. The front desk lady said, "How late are you going to be?" I told her maybe 10 or 15 minutes. Then she said, "Don't get on the interstate... ok...bye." And she hung up on me!! I got stuck in traffic, one of the main roads was blocked for some kind of event... oh, and did I mention that I broke my glasses while sitting at the DMV? Well..I did. I touched them to push them up on my face and I hear a "CLICK." I take them off and the freaking arm falls off. Great. Just Great. So, now I'm driving half blind. Ok, well, my eyesight isn't THAT bad. I finally get to the day care and I apologize to the teacher that stayed late.

Later that evening we head out to Walmart since they have an eye center there or whatever. I look around for some glasses that I might be able to just pop my lenses in or at least have the doctor cut my lenses down a bit to fit. All the frames were bigger than mine! I finally just asked if he could fix my glasses, maybe put new arms on them. He says, "Did you get the frames here?" I told no and his response??.... "Well you could super glue the arm back on." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY?!!

Saturday we had to get up early to go to a wedding. It was ok. It was really hot though. One of the bridesmaids had a seizure before the wedding too. She's doing ok now. Her husband took her to the hospital and they kept her overnight. It happened before she even left the house. The wedding was 'fire' themed. The bridesmaids wore red dresses, there was a burning building for a cake, stuff like that. Me and Zach left shortly after they cut the cake. He was sweating like crazy and I felt so bad for him. Hubby stayed for a bit longer. He comes home........ and goes to sleep on the couch. Around 8:00 him and Zach are both asleep, so I head out to look at some reading glasses that I might be able to put my lenses in. No luck. I did end up buying a pair of reading glasses that work for when I'm on the computer and watching tv, but they don't help me to see while driving.

Sunday was just a really slow day. I cleaned everything out of my old car and put some of my stuff in the new car. We watched tv and played with Zach. Then we watched some more tv and played some more. Then I cooked. Then we watched some more tv. Then we popped popcorn and watched Inception. Then we went to bed.

Hubby's grandpa isn't doing well at all. He can't eat or drink anything. Somehow, everything that goes in his mouth ends up in his lungs. The hospital gave up on him and sent him home with a hospice. We are going to visit him today after work.

Lilly comes home today too. It feels like forever since I've seen her. She doesn't know I got another car, yet. We'll see how she likes it. I have so many things to talk about with her. Her trip to the caves, the new baby, my new car, catching her up on things Zach does now...

Here's 2 pictures of Zach. One is him sitting in the passanger seat of my blazer at the wedding. We were hiding out in the **air conditioning** for a while. The other picture is him waking up from a 5 minute nap yesterday. Hubby took the pic. I think Zach looks kinda scared.

Clapping and Talking

2011-07-29T06:54:00.000-04:00

Today is my last day being able to drive my car. I'm actually kind of sad about this whole situation. I love that car.... but change is good. Or that what I hear anyway. I am in need of something bigger than my car. It just means so much to me. I've had that car for only one more month than I've been with hubby.

Zach is clapping his hands now.... and saying, "Dadadadadadadadadada!!!" He started clapping Tuesday at the doctor's office, but yesterday was the first day he has talked like that. I picked him up at day care and when we got home, I went to get him out of the car and there he was clapping and yelling, "dadadada" all while making some really funny faces. It was his serious face, then it changed to a silly face, then it was a happy face, then a sad face, then back to the serious face. I couldn't get him out of the car, I was laughing so hard. It was one of the cutest things I've seen. We got up to the house and hubby was in the shower, but he was still saying, "dadadada" So as soon as I heard the water turn off from the shower, I took Zach to the bathroom door and he stopped talking. I backed up a bit and he started in again. It was so incredibly cute. When hubby came out Zach hurried over to him, (he's still technically not crawling, but he can get around) looked up at him and started talking again, but it wasn't "dadadada." It was like Zach really wanted to tell hubby about his day. He yelled for dad and when he got him he just jabbered on and on. Eventually, sometime in Zach's story he did start saying dadada again.

Zach was in such a great mood yesterday. He played and laughed like it was nobody's business. You could tell he got to see his sister yesterday at school. I saw her for a little bit. Me and her father got to the day car almost at the same time. I asked her about her trip to the caves and her father told me a little about his recent hospital adventures. I can't wait until Monday when I get her back.

Oh, and I realized I haven't had anything awesome in my posts this week. So, lemme give you 5 right now.

**Watching a baby do something new**

**Hearing a child laugh**

**Ordering take out when its too hot to cook**

**Sleeping through the night**

**Having money left over after paying bills**

I Can't Believe its Not Friday

2011-07-28T06:48:00.000-04:00

My new car is fixed. No, its not 'new,' but its new to me. Its hubby's mom's old car. Its 2 years older than my car, but it has 50,000 less miles than mine. Hubby was trying to surprise me telling me that it hadn't made it to the garage to get fixed yet, but it did and it was finished yesterday. I got to drive it around our block to get the feel of it, but I can't drive it on a road for a while. Its technically not legal yet. We don't have plates for it and we have to add it to our insurance. I wonder if it will raise or lower our insurance. Its a bigger car, its a Blazer. I'm going from my mid-size 'mom' car that I've had for 6 years to a bigger car that requires more gas. I'm going to miss my car.

I've been on the lookout for smiles and frown to add to my other blog. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I am always actively looking for a smile to pop out at me. I have found some while driving, but the picture doesn't come up very good. I'll see a smile made out of traffic lights and power lines, but my camera on my phone doesn't take very good pictures. After I take the picture, I can't really see the smiley face because the power lines don't show up too well.

My bff's wedding is coming up SOON!! And we have another wedding to go to this weekend. One of hubby's friends is finally marrying his girlfriend. I'm not sure I want to go. These are people that I don't really get along with and its going to be HOT...and its an outside wedding. I might go for the ceremony and then leave. I don't want to have Zach out in the heat for very long. Hubby can stay and have fun.

I'm a little disappointed today. Yesterday seriously felt like a Friday to me.

Doctor Visit

2011-07-27T07:03:00.000-04:00

Zach had an appointment to get shots yesterday. He took those shots like a big man. He only fussed a little bit and didn't cry at all. He weighs 19.10 pounds and is 27 inches long. He's growing. I almost wanted to bet someone yesterday that he was up to 20 pounds. Here's a picture of Zach sitting on the table at the doctor's office.

Lilly gets to go to the Y today. She's going to the movies with them and seeing Marmaduke. She's already seen it, but it was a good movie. Tomorrow is the make up date for the caves. They had to cancel that trip because the day care was closed that day since they didn't have any water. She was suppose to go bowling yesterday, but she stayed home with her father's mom.
Now, I'm not a very fashionable person. I'm not. I'll tell ya right now that I'm not. I don't wear skinny jeans or the knee high boots or even high heels for that matter. For one, I'm cheap. For two..I like to be comfy. I wear tennis shoes to work, of course they are all black and a bit more appropriate than my other tennis shoes. I don't keep up with what is in or what was soooo last summer. If I could fit into them, I'd probably still be wearing clothes from high school. I was never really interested in being in the lastest fashion, so it didn't bother me at all in school like it seems to other kids. I don't accessorize either. I don't switch out my purse to match what I'm wearing and I don't care if I'm wearing black shoes with gray pants. I just hope my kids don't get caught up in all the hub bub. Its clothes. I believe that if it fits, its comfy, you like it.... that should be all that matters. I thought about all of this because the radio DJ's here was reading off a list of things that proves you're getting older and wearing clothes to be comfortable instead of fashionable was on the list. So.. have I always been old??

Lilly's a Big Sis again

2011-07-26T06:56:00.002-04:00

Sleep was just not happening last night. Zach only woke up once, which is a miracle these days, but I just couldn't sleep. I kept having nightmares and couldn't get comfortable. I'm doubling up on my caffeine intake today.

Lilly's is now a big sister to another little boy. Her new little brother was born at 2:17 yesterday afternoon. I haven't heard much about the situation other than mom was bleeding a little too much and it hadn't stopped by 5:30 yesterday evening. That was the last time I talked to him. I told him I hope everything turns out ok, and congrats on the baby. I was putting together a few little things for the baby that I know I'll never use...like a travel pack of baby soap, I got 3 of those at my baby shower and have barely used one.

Not much really happened yesterday...... It was kind of a slow day for me. Yesterday was sort of my lazy day. I was so tired and just didn't really feel well. I did watch X-Men The Last Stand last night. Good movie. Finally did watch The Hurt Locker Sunday night. LOVED that movie.

Here's a few pics of Zach. Yes, that's my foot he's holding. He sat there like that for nearly half an hour.

Good Morning!

2011-07-25T08:37:00.001-04:00

Oh, what a busy weekend it was.

I got to hang out with Chris and Tony Saturday. I took Tony to take his test for his learners. He passed, but he didn't have 2 proofs of residency, only one. So, he'll have to go back within 30 days to take his proof without having to take the test again. After that we went to the mall and they bought belts and an XBox game and we had some Taco Bell. It was nice. Everything felt normal to me. Everyone was having fun, joking around, and just hanging out. I'm glad I got to spend those few hours with them.

Hubby had Zach for the morning while I was out, and he ended up at his mom's house. I got there in the afternoon. It started storming there, after I had just drove through it all after dropping my brothers off. Then, there was a fire call. 6 car pile up with mass casualties is what came over the radio. Hubby took off. Turns out only one person was hurt and everyone else was fine.

Sunday...oh, Sunday. Ok. Saturday night around 11, there was a structure fire call. The siren went off at the fire station and it wasn't too far away. It was right beside the station, I should have been able to see it from the front porch, but I couldn't see anything. It came over the radio that flames were visible. I watched the fire truck drive over there and then I heard someone on the radio say that it was just a grill shooting flames. Then... around 2 in the morning, there was another structure fire call and the siren went off. Hubby got up and left.... and he didn't get to come home for almost 12 hours. I went out and met him at a fire hydrant where they were filling up the truck to take him a dry pair of sock and some shoes. I felt so bad for all those guys out in the heat. I think hubby said the fire was at an empty house.

Today, Lilly is getting another baby brother. Her father's girlfriend is scheduled to go in this morning and get induced. They are naming him Gage. Lilly is staying with her father all week so she can get some time with the baby. She will still go to the Y, except for today. She's going bowling tomorrow.

I tried feeding Zach a very mushed up egg, but he wasn't having any of it. He's not ready yet. I did give him a bit of mashed potatoes and he made some funny faces. He's doing better on sitting up. He's getting his wobbly body under control. He can even go from the crawling position to the sitting position now. We still don't have any teeth yet.

There was a lot of storms this weekend also. Friday, it was bad. Horrible rain and strong winds, lots of lightning and thunder most of the night. Saturday, it was mostly hard rain, all day. Sunday, we just had a quick burst of rain and a bit of wind.

P.S

2011-07-22T16:27:00.000-04:00

http://smilesareeverywhere.blogspot.com/
Just starting it out, its a work in progress.

Yesterday Felt Like Friday

2011-07-22T07:12:00.001-04:00

Left work at 12:30, got stuck in traffic. Made it to Walmart and was in and out in no time. Headed home to pack diaper bag, got stuck in traffic. Got home, did what I needed to do, left to go pick up Zach from day care. I told them in the morning that I would be picking him up early and to have him ready. I got there and they said that it was time for a bottle. So, I sat there and fed him. Left there to go to see my brothers, got stuck in traffic. Finally made it there and Zach was asleep. Whew!

I cooked for Chris and Tony and all was well. Everything seemed the same to me. Chris acted like... Chris. They did talk a little about current problems, but nothing much and nothing I hadn't already heard. They really did appreciate getting something to eat other than pizza. They really need to learn how to cook. My step mom has been staying at her son's house just up the hill to take care of the baby and to fully support, cook for, pay for everything up there instead of where she actually lives. Anyway.... my brothers are planning on getting their own apartment soon. Chris is going to be paying rent, he'll be going back to work soon. Tony pays internet and electric and I told them I'll help them out with satellite so they can have tv. I told them that I'll come and cook for them every once in a while and I'm going to try to make it back down there to cook before Chris heads back to work.. since he'll be on the road. Might be taking Tony tomorrow to take the test for his learners and then maybe taking him to the mall to get new shoes. Gonna try to convince Chris to go with us to get him out of the house. Him and Tony did go to the store to get some Coke and aluminum foil. Chris is getting better at getting out of the house, from what I can tell.

That's about it... Lilly's staying with her father for a week, I won't get her back until next Monday. This Monday is when him and his girlfriend are having the baby. They've got it all planned out and she's getting induced.

Zach played with the cats while we were visiting my brothers. Hubby's allergic to cats so we had to change as soon as we got home. I then went ahead and made lasagna for us at home. Good stuff.

So, no one really talked about exactly what is wrong with Chris. I know he's severely depressed and trying to get help, but my dad and step mom have just been making things worse. That's about all I know. I didn't want to press any issues or anything. He acted just like he always did when I'm around. I told mom that I don't know if he was being 'normal' just because I was there, or if having me there was a nice change of pace and it livened him up... I don't know.
**I love going to visit my brothers and I love that I get to cook for them and give them a good pick me up. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I love that I know I can do something to make their day, and I love that I can do something to help, even if its something as small as cooking and lending an ear.**

Red Face and Speedy Gonzalez

2011-07-21T07:07:00.001-04:00

Excited about getting my other blog up and running. Its going to be a bit challenging though. I'm going to try to update it every weekday, unless its a holiday or something like that. Probably just about as much as I update this one.
So, hubby called me yesterday and asked if I wanted another car. Of course I do, but we can't afford payments on one, or even to buy one off someone. Well... hubby's mom is going to get a brand spanking new car and I'm getting her Blazer. Right now the motor needs replaced, but hubby's dad is going to get that done for us. I'm excited, but I'm not. I love my car. Its my mom car. I do need something bigger with the carseat and Lilly's booster seat, and my trunk only has room for a stroller. My car is a 2001 and the Blazer is a 1999. I'm not to keen on getting an older car. I do need one, though... and its free, so I'm not going to complain............much. **Getting another car, better than the one you have, or getting a car when you don't own one.... awesome!**
Leaving work around 12:30 or so to go to Walmart to get stuff to make lasagna, going home to pack a diaper bag, going to the Y to pick Zach up then heading to my Dad's house where Chris and Tony will be waiting. I hope Zach can keep himself occupied enough for me to cook for them.
Lilly's face is so sunburnt. The teacher told me yesterday that they coated the sunscreen on her 3 times and she even used her son's sunscreen on her...and she still got burnt. The teacher has spf 75 that is waterproof and rubproof, I guess meaning that it won't rub off. I pack for her spf 15 that has bug repellant in it and waterproof spf 100. I'm going to shop around today to see what I can find.

Zach's been moving like crazy. I can't put him down anymore to just play so I can get things done. He moves so fast and of course, he goes for things that he can't have. Our apartment is just too small for him to be mobile like this. I'm excited that he discovered that he can move and is doing it well, but at the same time I wish he wouldn't do it. I don't want him to get hurt, or stuck, or anything like that. We just need to move.

New Blog

2011-07-20T16:10:00.000-04:00

I have just started a new blog. Come on over and join me. http://smilesareeverywhere.blogspot.com/
I know there are quite a few sites like this one, but this is the only one by ME!!!! Click. Enjoy. I just started it today, so don't expect much.

hahahaha

2011-07-20T07:30:00.000-04:00

Oh, my goodness!! I just watched this video and its so great. Take a look!

Tomorrow bring answers

2011-07-20T07:18:00.003-04:00

My computer is being super slow today. If it keeps acting up, I'm going to have to take it out to the parking garage and drop it over the edge.

I decided last night that I was going to dig out my pre-pregnancy pants and give them a try. **THEY FIT!!!** Its a tight fit, but they fit. I'm actually wearing one pair today. These aren't just pre-pregnancy pants, these are pre-wedding pants. I'm wearing a pair that I bought way back in 2007 for an interview at a Toyota Motor Manufacturer. I remember them being way lose back then and I had to fold them over, cuz ya know, I don't like wearing belts. So very excited!! I can't wait until they fit better. I've been working hard these past couple weeks to lose some weight and its all paid off. Lets hope I can stay on track. Its been hard during the summer, with all the cookouts and such. The weather has been way too hot and humid to get out and do anything for an extended amount of time.

So, hubby fixed my car yesterday and I don't have to worry about avoiding the cops now. My tail light is good as new. He went to a junk yard and bought one to fit my car. Other than the white paint on my blue car and one little dent above the light, you can't even tell I was in a wreck. Good job hubby!

He even stopped by one of the houses we've had our eye on....the one up the hill from his mom's house. Well... they were selling the house for $120,000 but they dropped it to $75,000. We haven't seen the inside yet, but hubby stopped to talk to the guy yesterday. He said he was getting ready to leave but would be back at the house around 9:00 if we wanted to come look at it. The kids are in bed by then, so we didn't get to. I'm concerned as to why the price dropped so much. He did just put a new roof on it. He's not using a real estate agent either. For sale by owner... but we need to use a real estate agent to buy it since we have no idea what to do. We don't know what papers we need, the things that need to be done and we don't want to get ripped off or scammed or anything like that. Hubby has a real estate agent that he use to go to school with and we may just give her a call. Even if we do end up doing it by ourselves, she could at least guide us in the right directions.

Going tomorrow to visit Chris and Tony and cook them some lasagna. I'm leaving work around noon so I can head to the store, go get Zach and then get down there. I need to know what's going on with Chris. I'm just worried that he's not going to talk to me while I have Zach there. I don't know. I need to hear how he's doing from him, not every one else. I've heard so many different things from so many different people, I don't know what to believe anymore. I've heard that he's a manic depressive, doing drugs, refuses to get out of the house, won't go to the psychiatrist anymore, hearing voices, won't eat, won't shower....I've heard all these things from everyone but him. Tony was wanting to tell me the whole real story, but we haven't had a chance to talk yet. I do know that Chris came home for help and my dad and step mom are just making him worse. They're accusing him of things and refusing to help him. They won't support him financially and are threatening to kick him out of the house. He doesn't have a job and if he really is manic depressive and schizophrenic, he needs help. He is going back to work in 2 weeks, going to be back on the road, and that worries me. He won't get the help he needs. We'll just wait and see if he tells me anything tomorrow.

Poor Tony, 18 years old, has taken on the responsibility of taking care of Chris. Tony gave up his cell phone and got a pre-paid phone just so he'd have enough money to pay for internet and cable...the only things keeping Chris from sleeping all day and his only other human interaction he has. He plays XBox Live with my other little brothers and a few more people. Tony is in the middle of everything. Dad refuses to pay for internet or cable anymore. I just can't explain everything right now. I'd hate to put something up and it not be true. I do feel sorry for both Tony and Chris and I hate to see them like this. I do wish there was something I could do. I wish I made more money, so I could help them out. Tomorrow will hopefully bring me some answers.

Fears

2011-07-19T07:05:00.003-04:00

I'm afraid of quite a lot of things.... I'm afraid of my kids getting lost or hurt, my house burning down, being robbed in the middle of the night, hubby getting hurt while out on a house fire, things like that. But there are only a few things that I actually have a fear of.

Deep water is one of my fears. I can swim. I'm actually a good swimmer. I don't know why I'm afraid of deep water, I just am. I'm fine with being in water until it gets above my shoulders, then I feel like I'm being suffocated and I can't breathe. I don't do pool parties or anything like that either. I'll go for the sake of Lilly and hubby, but I watch instead of participating. The last time I was in water was 2 months after I got married. Me, hubby, Lilly, one of hubby's friends, his wife and kid that's Lilly's age went to Six Flags. I did the water slides with no problem. The water isn't that deep. One of these days, though, I want to beat this fear and take scuba diving lessons. **Beating your fears** no matter what they are is awesome.

I use to even be afraid to put Lilly in a pool, but that fear has faded. She has fun.

My second and most serious fear is having a heart attack. I basically KNOW that I'm going to have one and I'm doing everything I can do prevent it. I've quit smoking, I'm eating healthier, I'm being more active, I take fish oil pills...little things like that. Heart disease runs in the family. My mom, her dad, my dad's dad, my dad's mom.... its just something I kind of know is going to happen. My mom has had 2 or 3, I don't really remember. Her first one was the biggest, that's when I took over the house. Her last one had the doctors opening her up. She had triple bypass surgery after the last one. Both my grandpa's have a pacemaker and my grandma had one heart attack about 3 years ago. I am determined to beat this thing. I get a blood test done every year to monitor my cholesterol.

Diabetes also runs on my dad's side of the family, but that doesn't concern me as much as heart disease. Its still a concern, yes, but not as big. I have that monitored too. I do need to get it checked now that I've had Zach. I've been having problems keeping my sugar up since I gave birth to him. Its not too bad, but its something I want to check out.

I'm afraid of a lot of things, things that mostly involve my family. I guess those could be fears too, but I also think those things are things most people are afraid of or worry about.