Ranting a bit

SECOND POST OF THE DAY
Let me start out by saying...I seriously thought today was Friday. Now, I am disappointed.


You know.... I just started thinking on how much I spend on my car. Why do we all have to pay all this stuff for things we OWN? I bought my car, its paid off... (been paid off a year in October)...but yet, every year we have to pay taxes on our stuff, our cars need yearly inspection stickers, and we have to pay for the registration every year. That's not counting paying to get things fixed on it and keeping up with the maintenance and paying to keep gas in it. Yeah, I know we pay all of these things for several different reasons, but I think something should be done about it. I think every year when we pay our property taxes, that's when they should just go ahead and send you the registration stuff. And... maybe we shouldn't have to deal with inspection stickers or inspections at that. Yes, it allows us to know if our cars are safe to drive, yadda yadda...but there are plenty of vehicles that pass inspection that aren't safe. Inspections should be something they do when you go somewhere to get your oil changed or new tires put on. Ok, maybe its just me. I'm just tired of dishing out all this money. and since I'm on the money topic... who determines how much your bill will be during doctor visits, hospital stays and all that? I just paid over $400 to a doctor for my ER visit who I only saw long enough for him to tell me to take Tylenol. He didn't do any of the exams, he didn't do my ultrasound or my lab work, he didn't do any of the follow up, he didn't even stay long enough for me to tell him that Tylenol did nothing for the kind of pain I was having. Did he seriously not think that Tylenol was my first resort? I already prescribed that to myself..therefore I just did you job...how about YOU pay ME!!!
How is it determined how much you will pay to park somewhere? Why can't parking be free? I pay $60 a month for parking in the same building where I work! And what about the tolls? They just went up here a dollar. And most people that are traveling that way go though 2 or 3 tolls.
Anyway...I would like to be the person who determines how much I pay for what service. Oh, Mr. Doctor, I only saw you for 2 minutes. I'll tack on another 5 minutes for looking at my ultrasound pictures...if you were indeed the one who did...and I'll pay you $100 and I think that's way more than you deserve.
Parking garage at the mall...I will give you a quarter.
Parking garage where I work....this is just stupid that I have to pay to park in a place I work. I will not pay you.
$3.00 for a gallon of gas?! Are you kidding me?! Drill in places closer to home so the rate will be less. I will pay you $1.25....and I think I'm being nice.
Day care....wow...that's all I'm gonna say here. I know the employees need to get paid and they have to pay for food and stuff, but seriously?!
People with hourly jobs that work overtime just to pay for the things that other people determine the price for.......... you are not paid enough.

I worry too much

Lilly saw her first ice cream truck yesterday. The music started playing and it was getting closer and closer. We were outside playing and she says, "What's that noise." I said, "I'm not going to tell you." By then it was too late and it was in sight. "Oh, Mommy!!!! An ice cream truck!!!" It was too cold for ice cream or I would have let her get some. We didn't see the truck at all during the summer, but as soon as it starts cooling down, there he is.
Hubby is working a lot of over time now. 12 hour shift without a day off for almost a month...is what he says. This week he's worked over, but I would think they would at least give him Sunday's off or something. We'll see I guess. Makes me sad that he's not home. I've been making plans to stay busy while he's working and Lilly's gone. Hanging out with my bff on Saturday. I think I'm just going to sleep today. Go home, make a samich and hop into bed with my book.
Got my info back on what the insurance will pay for. Everything is paid for except the bills from my ER visit. A total of $2,713.00. I thought about asking my grandparents for the money, but only if they will let me pay them back. $2,293 has already gone to collections so I need to get that paid off before we apply for a loan in December. I took money out of savings to pay the $420 bill. I used the little Christmas money I had to make a $200 payment on the $2,293 bill. If I was paying it by myself I could have it all paid off like a week before the baby is due, but if hubby helps out I can hopefully get it paid off before December.
I could probably pay it off sooner, but I gotta try to save up money to go Christmas shopping.
Lilly felt the baby kick again. Feels like he never sleeps anymore cuz he's always moving about. She was singing to him yesterday and I told her that he was dancing and I had her feel.
I have a doctor's appointment in 8 days. They were suppose to call me and let me know when my next ultrasound was, but they never did. I was suppose to go in to get the shadow they saw on his heart checked out and to see if my placenta moved up. Maybe they are just gonna do it all the same day. Ultrasound and doc visit.

Week 24

Look at this pic..... sorry....but the baby does look a little creepy in this picture.

Your Pregnancy: Week 24~At about this time the reality of having a baby is definitely setting in (maybe it's the fact that you can't see your toes). Be sure to talk about how you're feeling with your significant other, girlfriends, siblings, parents, doctor, hairdresser, the person sitting next to you on the bus ... whomever! It's totally natural to be freaking out. Voicing your concerns about mommyhood will help you actually get used to the idea.

Your Body~Hair growth during pregnancy is another one of those wacky symptoms you didn't expect. And though you may be wondering who's slipping Rogaine into your shampoo bottle, if you're among the lucky ones, you're relishing your new, flowing locks. It's the hair everywhere else that's a little troublesome.

You can thank your pregnancy hormones for your suddenly thick crowning glory. During pregnancy your hair's natural grow-shed cycle slows, leaving you with more hairs on your head at any given time. Now might be a good time to try out for one of those orgasm-in-the-shower shampoo commercials.

Unfortunately, all that hair growth isn't limited to your head. You may start to notice a random hair (or 47) anywhere from your cheeks, back, and belly to your upper lip and chin. If anyone dares to call you Black Beard, they'll totally deserve whatever's coming to them.

The good news is, tweezing, waxing and electrolysis are all generally accepted as safe during pregnancy. The bad news? All of them can hurt like, um ... like waxing. So feel free to skip the Brazilian right now. We promise, your OB isn't going to judge you.

Your Baby~Your baby isn't just sitting around (on your bladder) doing nothing, he's working hard preparing for life outside the womb—perfecting his lungs and packing on the pounds. He'll gain ½ pound this week alone. Other highlights this week:

Things are starting to get a little crowded inside the old womb as baby grows bigger and bigger. Your ribs are probably pining away for the good old days when they didn't have a foot permanently lodged between them. Hate to break it to you, but it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Your baby's ears are fully functional now. And since they are, you may notice that loud noises and sudden movements can startle the little bugger. He's getting used to the everyday sounds inside the womb: the sound of your heart beating, your lungs inhaling and exhaling air, the growling of your stomach because your partner promised he'd be right back with that double cheeseburger and he's taking forever! He'll even be able to hear your voice when your partner finally arrives and you ask him where the bleep he's been! So talk nice!

Baby's got a fully developed inner ear now. This means his sense of balance is working and he can tell whether he's hanging upside down or right side up. He can also feel you moving, so go ahead, pop in your favorite tunes and boogie.

Your little Wiener schnitzel is about the length of a foot-long Chicago hot dog and weighs about 1 1/3 pounds.

My worries

SECOND POST OF THE DAY

Ok, so yeah... I've been freaking out lately about having the baby. Granted its not my first, but still. And I know how to raise little boys, but that part isn't what I'm freaking out about. I'm not even all that worried about getting a bigger place..... its the delivery part that's bugging me. I have been putting a lot of thought into doing all this as naturally as possible, but of course, yes, I'm taking the pain meds. I mean, not setting up a date to be induced, just letting it happen. My mom has a phone now, so I know I will be able to get a hold of her. Yes, there are more problems other than that... like trying to get a hold of hubby, my bff is hours away, my dad travels for work, I don't know what to do with Lilly...but... I've been thinking about it. The more I think, the more I worry. And I don't even know if I will be able to deliver 'naturally.' I might have to have a C-section. As it stands now, I'm going to need one. Unless my placenta moves where its suppose to be, that's my only option. I don't know how I feel about a C-section. I haven't told hubby about that yet. I was going to wait until my next doctor's appointment when they check everything again to see if my placenta has moved. If it hasn't and its confirmed that this is my only option, I will tell hubby then. I don't want him worrying too. Not yet. Not until he has to.
I am officially 6 months pregnant this week and I'm still not showing that much. Someone at work said, "Did you say you were pregnant a couple months ago?" I said, "Yeah...?" She then asked how far along I was and she didn't believe me. I was like this last time. You couldn't tell I was pregnant until about 7 months... then it was like a swallowed a beach ball. All of a sudden, BAM, I had this huge stomach. I'm glad it took that long or I wouldn't have gotten my first job. I started working and then like 2 weeks later, I was big. The boss told me that her boss wouldn't have hired me if he knew I was pregnant..... um isn't that discrimination or something? So, the way I figured this one would go is around Thanksgiving I am going to pop out real good. Close to 8 months, I'm finally going to look the part I've been playing this whole time.
I like this rate I'm going. I haven't had that many problems with clothes. But I know how I'm going to basically grow over night and that's why I was so worried about clothes so early on. I've already told my boss to be prepared for me to call off work due to no clothes fitting. Today, I can still fit into my regular clothes. Tomorrow I'll be 3 sizes bigger. I don't know if its the way the babies lay or what. Maybe they lay across my stomach and then when they get so big, they turn around like they are suppose to be. I dunno. I think I've only gained like 5 pounds so far. Last time I gained all my weight in the last month. I'm going to try not to do that. I do have a goal, after I have this baby I want to be 10 pounds lighter than I was before I got pregnant, before I go back to work. And then from there I want to work on getting back to my high school weight. It wasn't that long ago, so I'm hoping it won't be a problem.
I have been having odd pains these past couple of days. Its kinda like pressure or something. Its usually whenever I stand up. I'm definitely going to ask my doctor about that. It may be due to my low laying placenta. I'm hoping its not a sign that something horrible is wrong.

Ta Da

Friday me and hubby went to the "farm" to spend the night for the concealed weapons class on Saturday. Class went well. I took a picture of my target.....

Didn't do as well as I thought I would. I haven't shot a gun in 5 years though. I use to be a great shot, right on the bulls eye every time, I guess I was a little rusty. Shot a .22 semi-automatic, a .38 revolver and something else I can't remember. Those two big holes at the bottom are from the .38. I had some problems with that gun, the grip was just too big for my hand and I couldn't hold it right. There was only one other guy there that did better than me, but he kinda cheated...he got to use his own gun. Did better than hubby. He didn't seem to mind which was great. I've been telling him for years that I can shoot a gun, I finally got to prove it to him. Yeah, I've been hunting with him a couple times, but we've never seen anything while we were out together.

Went home late Saturday, slept in Sunday. Got a text from Lilly's father that she was sick and I asked if he wanted me to come pick her up. He said, not yet. About noon I check up on her again and he asked if I wanted her back at 3 but we'd meet halfway. Ok. He said she started throwing up at 7:30 and I asked if she ate anything bad... he says no. He says she doesn't have a fever, but when he was dropping her off to me he said he got her fever down. I said, "I though you said that she didn't have a fever, that she was just throwing up. That's why I thought it was bad food." (in reality he didn't know if she ate bad food or not, his grandmother took her to a carnival the night before and she ate some food there) Then he says, "She never broke 100, so she didn't really have a fever." Bull!!! Her normal temp is 95.0 just like me. If our temp is the "normal" then we have a fever. So anyways.... I get her home, her fever is going up. I give her Tylenol.... and she throws it right back up. But after that one time throwing up at home, she was done. She had a fever almost all night, but when she woke up Monday morning it was gone. Me and her stayed home yesterday. I made sure she was ok and that she could eat before I sent her to school today. When I dropped her off at the Y this morning she started whining...."Mommy.. my tummy hurts." I said, "You'll be fine." and I left. I know it might be hurting a little, but I also know that she was looking for any excuse to get to stay home with me again. We had fun though. I kept her busy but didn't get her all excited in case she was going to get sick again. We played board games, watched movie after movie, played treasure hunt, and stayed in our pajamas all day.

So now, my week is messed up again. I'm having my Monday on a Tuesday. I did do some number scrunching today and I figured that I can have a little over $1,000 saved up by Black Friday to do some Christmas shopping. I won't need that much, but it would be nice to know that if I went over my limit by a little, I would be covered. Also figured that I can have $1,500 saved up by the end of the year to go toward the down payment for a house. So I gotta save $1,000 between now and then for that account. Between that and what we already have saved, we should have just enough for the minimum down payment by the end of the year.

Rambling

I think I have decided that I do want another kid, 3 all together. I know that the second one hasn't even made an appearance yet, but I already want another one. It will be like we have 2 full time kids and one part time kid. I don't know if its just where I've been missing Lilly so much lately or if I really want 3 kids. I always thought 3 was a good number. I was kid #3. I don't know how much of a handful this little one is going to be, but right now, in this moment, I want another.
I've been sitting here all day thinking about Lilly and how much I've been missing with her. I've been thinking about how things should be. I've been thinking about how things need to change, not for my benefit, but for Lilly's. I've been thinking about her schoolwork suffering, her well-being being put to the test, her safety being questionable at times, and so many other things. I worry about her while she is away and the teachers already tell me that she is so tired on Fridays when her father takes her and she doesn't get all of her work done. It kills me that I can't do anything about it right now.
I've also been thinking about the future. The delivery of the baby, all 4 of us together, us getting a new house...... Lilly helping out with the baby, the kids growing up together, playing together... its like the life I've always dreamt of. Life has been good to me lately. Things with hubby are much better, my relationship with Lilly is tight knit, financial trouble is basically over, but.... see there's always a but....Lilly's father makes things difficult. And sometimes I think that if me, hubby, Lilly, and the baby where to live in a bubble we would be the happiest people in the world. Yeah, still have access to the outside world for school, friends and family.... but...its hard to explain. All I think I need to be happy is my family, the family that I have made. Yes, I love my extended family and every day I don't see them kills me, but knowing that hubby and Lilly is there at the end of the day makes everything better. I don't know how to explain it. I have been working hard all my life at keeping other people happy. It wasn't until recently I have decided that I need to make me happy first and then let everything else fall into place. Ever since then, everything has been...well... peachy. I don't do what I want when I want, I've just kinda decided to be happy. Ya know? I get this new sense of joy when I play hide and seek with Lilly or listen to hubby talk about his day. I only take maybe half an hour a day, right before bed, for just me. I read or go outside and look at what stars I can see (too much light from the shopping area), or call someone, or yes even watch a bit of tv. Half an hour of me time is all I need anymore. I use to feel like I needed more than that, but coming to the realization that my family is the most important thing to me, made everything change. Yes, I have always put my family first and always will and I have always loved them dearly.... its just another thing I don't know how to explain.
I've even become almost ok with naming the baby Denvil. I know how much it means to hubby, and if the baby grows up and doesn't like it, he can go by his middle name or some kind of nickname. I did read somewhere that old man names are making a comeback. To me Henry is an old man name and its one of the top names.... somewhere. I tried looking for it again today and couldn't find a thing about it. I could have even been dreaming.
Ok, so yeah..I have my moments when I'm pissed off, aggravated, frustrated, red in the face, heart pumping hard, teeth clinched..... but those moments don't last long anymore. Well, except when it comes to Lilly's father. He can make me mad anytime I think of him, hear his voice, see him or anything. I have never spoken ill of him in front of Lilly and I never will. I've been there, done that, didn't enjoy it. My parents divorced when I was 6 or 7 and I've been with mom through 2 more divorces. I've heard it all, I've lived through it all and I am not going to put Lilly what I had to go through.
I grew up listening to my parents fight, talk about each other as bad as a person can, relaying nasty messages through me. I grew up broke, poor and almost friendless. I was abused, neglected, and forgotten. I've been evicted from some houses and moved so much. I've been beat, yelled at, starved and left to fend for myself. I grew up too fast and matured to quickly. I will do everything in my power to never let any of this happen to my children. I do believe that it is because of these things that I am the strong, independent, big hearted, loving person I am today. I also believe it is because of these things that I am unsocial, depressed, and suicidal (at one point in my life, not anymore). Even though my horrible childhood led me to be who I am today, I will not let my children endure even an inkling of any of it. I will raise them the best I can and cross my fingers when the time comes to set them free and hope I did do the right things by them.
I want my children to be able to experience a childhood. I wasn't allowed out of the house to hang out with friends, by the time I was 13 I had taken over the sole responsibility of the house-the cooking, cleaning, helping little brothers with homework, getting them up for school, putting them to bed... everything a 13 year old shouldn't be doing. It was like as soon as I turned 13, my mom stopped being a mom and I had to step up. Ever since then, I have been mom. I was mother to my little brothers, my older brothers, my own mom and my step dads. I have been mom for almost 12 years all together. I've held my mother up when she was down, I've taken care of her and everyone else when they were sick, I was there by her side through both heart attacks and her surgery. I was there to hold her head up when she went through yet another divorce and I even housed my stepdad. Even though everything basically sucked and I had to grow up so early and without any guidance, I still love my family, my mom, my brothers, my dad...everyone.
Ok... so I started rambling..... I still don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm happy now. It might be the hormones, but I am happy now. I love my family. the end.......

Week 23

Your Pregnancy: Week 23~You've got this pregnancy thing down pat now: You feel good, you look great, you're eating well and drinking enough water. Everything is fabulous. It's like your birthday every day the way people fawn all over you, giving up their place in the bathroom line and so on. OK, so maybe that doesn't happen every day, but being pregnant makes you feel pretty special, even if that jerk on the bus didn't give up his seat for you.

Your Body~Fact: You are carrying around several extra pounds of weight located not only in your belly but in your bra as well. Who's baring the brunt of all this poundage? Mr. Shoulders and Mr. Back. Don't suffer in silence. Get sweet relief:

Even in early pregnancy, back pain can be a real bother, and when you get to the halfway point, forget about it! Try lying on a cool ice pack to relieve some of the strain. Some alternative approaches like acupuncture and massage can ease the pain. And if not, having someone rub you for an hour still feels pretty darn good.

If you're noticing severe pain, numbing or tingling in your lower back and hips, you might have sciatica. Check in with your doctor.

Your Baby~Your baby's got a while to go before her lungs will be ready for air and is practicing her "breathing" on the amniotic fluid—sucking it in and out of her lungs. Other highlights this week:

Fat production is in overdrive at this point (for the baby, not you! Well, OK, maybe for the baby and you). Your baby will basically double in weight over the next four weeks! You'll be happy to know the same won't apply to you.

Your Mini is starting to look more like a newborn as her skin becomes less see-through. Her body is looking more proportional now, although her head is still kinda big compared to her cute little body.

Your baby is about 11½ inches long and weighs 1 pound, or about the length and weight of a Harry Potter book.

blood pressure rising

I guess I'm not allowed to be in a good mood for a couple of consecutive days. Lilly's father has to go and ruin it all. I'm not going to go into much detail cuz it will just piss me off again, but he is being so selfish and irrational. You don't trade time for more time, you don't compromise the health of your child, you don't ignore her safety, you don't NOT care about her well being and what is best for her. He is only thinking of taking time away from me, he is not thinking of what is best for Lilly. When things don't go his way, he throws a fit. He doesn't care if she is worn out and tired, he doesn't care if she doesn't want to go to his house, he doesn't care that my time with her is basically nothing these days, he doesn't care about anything or anyone except himself. He's only doing what he is doing to make me mad. He agrees to one thing, but changes his mind and says that he didn't. He doesn't want me to ask what she wants, he just wants me to force her to do things she doesn't want to do only because its what he wants.

He just makes me so mad. I wish the judge would have just made a decision back when we went a couple weeks ago. Now I have to wait and deal with him being like this for another month before we go back. I just can't get him to understand that its not what I want or what he wants, its what is best for Lilly. She cannot get the stability she needs or get into any kind of routine with things the way they are now or by the way he wants things to be. He actually suggested he gets a weeks and I get a week. How is that fair to Lilly? She would be enduring that long drive before and after school every other week. She wouldn't be eating dinner on time, every other week. Her performance in school would be worse cuz she would be tired, every other week. She wouldn't have a stable place, she would be bouncing around from house to house, every other week. I don't think so, buddy. I will not put my child through that and I am actually appalled that he would even bring something like that to the table. It would be different if we lived closer and I knew she would be on the same schedule. He just doesn't get it. I grew up with divorced parents. I have been through it all and then some. I know what road he is going down and I know what Lilly is going to end up doing. These are the times I wish I had a friend that was a lawyer that could come to court with me. I just hope that the judge has a good head on her shoulders and doesn't look at things as "split time between the parents" but what is actually the best for Lilly.

Weekend recap

It is my Monday. I've had the last two days off....it was nice. Monday I woke up, helped hubby find his keys, got Lilly ready, made her lunch to take with her, walked her to school, walked back home, walked back down the road to the dollar store to pick up just a few things (since I had to carry it all back I didn't want to get a lot), finished cleaning the house, watched a bit of tv, made the beds, walked out to the bus stop, got Lilly, cooked, helped her with her homework, played, went for another walk and my day was finally over. Tuesday, woke up, got Lilly ready, made her lunch to take with her, walked her to school, walked to the grocery store to get some apples, walked back home, watched some tv, took a nap, got Lilly at the bus stop, cooked and helped Lilly with her homework, played a little bit, took Lilly out to visit one of her friends (they picked us up), and my day was over. Then, last night hubby tells me that I can either go to work or stay home. My car is almost fixed and they need me to drive it around a little. Give me a choice to either stay home or go to work? I didn't really want to come to work, but I did. I didn't want to use up all of my vacation time right now. Lilly was very disappointed this morning when I told her she was going to the Y. She liked walking to school and taking the big bus home.
Camping was ok. The cookout was fine. Hubby had to work on Saturday, so he didn't show up 'til 6. Me and Lilly rode down with his mom that morning. We ate, we fished twice. Lilly caught a fish and a half. She caught one and we set it free. When the other one got a hold of the bait, her fishing pole wouldn't reel and we lost the fish. Its time to get her a new fishing pole. That one was cheap, it was her first one, and we've had it for like 4 years or so. On our way back to the camp after our second fishing trip, hubby showed up. He ate, took Lilly on a 4-wheeler ride and set up the tent. We have a big tent for me and him and this little one that attaches to the side of ours through a little tunnel and that's where Lilly sleeps. She loves sleeping in a tent and she did really good. Hubby was basically there long enough to eat, talk a bit with family, set up the tent, shower and sleep.
Sunday, we woke up and went into the house thinking everyone else was awake, but they weren't. Hubby curled up in one of the spare beds and goes to sleep. I make Lilly breakfast and everyone but hubby wakes up. After she ate, we went to the tent and took a few things down and packed a little, but we left all the big stuff for hubby. Then, we went on a walk to the bottom of the hill to look at the horses the neighbor has. We were almost at the barn and the lady was out there and asked us if we wanted to come in to see the animals. She had 9 horses and 12 goats. Lilly grew up around goats, so she wasn't bothered at all by them and had no problem petting them. I think the horses intimidated her a little. She did pet 3 of the horses. The lady also had a black cat and a Pomeranian. Lilly kept saying, "Hello cat on the farm. Hello dog on the farm." It was cute. I didn't take my camera, so I didn't get any pictures of Lilly petting the horses. When we made it back to the house hubby was finally up and eating breakfast. Me and Lilly went outside to help with what was left. I ended up sending her inside to watch tv cuz it was just so hot. I got so hot I almost passed out twice. I was trying to get everything done quickly cuz we had to be back home at 1:00 for a birthday party of one of Lilly's friends.
Lilly got to feel the head and the butt of her brother. He was pushing real good on the sides of my tummy and I had Lilly feel him. She giggled. The baby was moving like crazy last night around midnight. I couldn't sleep last night. Between the baby moving, hubby snoring, Lilly talking in her sleep (at one point she yelled, "BANANAS!!"), the wrong number calling my cell all night, hubby's fire pager going off..... I didn't sleep. Hubby also talked in his sleep, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. He was mumbling. I just said ok and he stopped.
Oh, Lilly had been getting in trouble for talking in school. Her excuse.... "I like to talk." So WE had a talk about that. Sometime in our discussion she said, "Sometimes the teacher tells us we can talk quietly, but I like to talk loud." I tried not to laugh at her. She knows the consequences now and hopefully that will help her be better.
I think I should have wussed out and took today off, I'm exhausted.

Week 22

I'm in a weird mood today. Woke up feeling rushed, traffic was thick today, it took me 3 tries to park my car, I didn't sleep well, I'm hungry, and I'm kinda dreading this weekend. Anyways.... here's the weekly update on my still unnamed baby. When I looked at the growth I started freaking out. "He grew 4 inches in just a week?!!!" No, not really. They lie. The measurements they were using before was from head to butt, but now they are measuring head to foot. The legs kinda add a few more inches....

Your Pregnancy: Week 22~If your list of baby things to do seems to be getting longer the bigger you get, don't stress out. Make a pact with your partner that one day or evening a week, you'll do something that has nothing to do with the baby. How about the latest Anne Hathaway flick and dinner?

Your Body~Sadly enough, eating for two doesn't mean loading up on milkshakes and hamburgers and doubling your caloric intake. Instead, an average pregnant woman needs about 300 extra calories each day, which can be as little as a handful of trail mix or a small smoothie. If you're craving a little ice cream, go ahead and indulge, but if you need it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, try to find a healthy substitute like sugar-free soft serve or fro yo.

Sometimes it's easier on pregnant stomachs to eat five or six small meals each day than three large meals. Make sure to keep a stockpile of pregnancy-friendly snacks like crackers and cheese, pudding or a breakfast bar, so that you'll have something to gnaw on throughout the day. Don't let your hungry coworkers (or your partner) know where you keep your stash

Your Baby~Your Mini's hands have grown bigger and stronger and the nerve endings in her fingers have developed her sense of touch. She's in there testing out her newfound abilities by touching her face and grabbing the umbilical cord. Other cool developments:

You're already raising a little Einstein. Your baby's brain is developing at a clip this week and will continue to do so until she's five years old (so load up on the Omega 3)!

Baby's hair is now a short, bright white crop (Billy Idol, eat your heart out!). No matter what color it will end up—red, blonde, black—all babies' hair lacks pigment at this point.

Your baby has started growing taste buds and may be able to detect strong flavors in the amniotic fluid. If you could see inside, you might catch her sticking out her tongue for a taste and then grimacing, a sign that perhaps you should chill on the chili powder.

Your baby now weighs almost a pound and measures almost 11 inches from her head to her heel, which is how the Stretch Armstrong in your uterus will be measured from here on out. Up 'til now your baby's legs were curled tight up against her torso, so she was measured from her head to her bottom (or crown to rump) and not head to toe. This week your mini is about as long as a package of Oreos and as heavy as a large bag of tortilla chips. Who's hungry?

Second post of the day

I think I need to stop watching the news for a while. I keep reading stories that anger me, sadden me, or make me want to throw up. I just seriously watched a video where an Ohio woman gave her 2 year old a joint and recorded her with her phone smoking the pot. Of course she was found guilty. Then there was another story from across the ocean where a woman gave birth to a baby on a plane and then put it in the trash. She said she was raped by her employer and threw the baby out cuz she was afraid of what her family would say. There was a story yesterday where a guy got shot in the parking lot of the convenience store I use to work at. Two days ago some people here went to court for tying up a baby and gagging him with duct tape. What is going on? There's so many things I have read in the past week that should not be going on. What is wrong with people? There's abuse, murder, robberies, rape, neglect, kidnapings, and so many more things that should not be happening. It all just makes me sick to my stomach. I wish there was something I could do to make it all stop.

Old Dream

I finally have insurance!!!!!! Its not the kind I really wanted, it was my backup plan. I haven't been denied yet from the one I really want, so I don't really know what's going to happen. But as it stands now, I am covered. The one I was wanting covers EVERYTHING. Everything that has to do with my pregnancy and then some- dentist, eye, if there's something I have to go to the hospital over that's not related to my pregnancy like a broken arm or something, and the entire delivery cost. The one I got approved for only covers things that deal with the pregnancy like the doc visits, lab work, ultrasounds and it only covers $1,000 of the delivery charge. It will help a lot, but I was hoping for more. I'm just glad I got what they gave me. The doc bills was piling up. Can't get onto hubby's insurance until December, well... that's when he's off probation, I don't know if he can sign up then or not.

Leaving tomorrow to go camping. Lilly's been wanting to stay in a tent for a long time now. Ever since last year when we did, she's been wanting to do it again. Not really "camping" but we will be in a tent. We're setting it up on hubby's uncle's "farm" and staying a day or two. They all want us to stay in the extra bedroom, but Lilly wants to stay in a tent.

I love what is up on www.1000awesomethings.com today. Go take a peek at it if you haven't already. Since I am a person that loves to cook and loves food in general, this post was perfect. Especially since I recently experienced the horribleness of a terrible dinner and greatness of a wonderful one.

I was looking back at some of my old blog posts and it kinda creeped me out a bit. Exactly a week before I found out I was pregnant, I had a dream that I had a baby..... and it was a boy. Need a recap? Here ya go-

FRIDAY MAY 7
"Had a dream last night that I had just had a baby. Literally..... just gave birth. Didn't go to the hospital. I was holding the baby and my hubby and mom came in ( I have no idea where exactly I was in this dream, maybe at home...I don't know for sure) and I told them that we needed to go to the hospital. First I was freaking out because we didn't have a car seat for the baby and made them go to my storage building to get one. They bring back something that looks like the car seat that I have, but it was paper. I started crying and told them that I'm going to be a horrible mother to this child because I don't even have a car seat for him. (oh, yeah...it was a boy) So I took him and we walked to the hospital, but by the time I got there he was like 5 years old. I looked down and he just jumped out of my arms. That's when I woke up. Weird."

I found out I was pregnant on Friday May 14, but didn't post about it until Monday May 17. I did announce it on www.1000awesomethings.com on May 14. The post for that day was #505 The last couple hours before the weekend But how weird is it that I would dream that exactly one week before I found out? And to dream that it was a boy.....

Feelin' Good

Just found out that my one of my favorite authors are gonna be here in town next month. Mr. Nicholas Sparks will be here in October and I am stoked! The first book I read by him that got me hooked to his books was At First Sight so I'm gonna find it and have him sign that one. If I can go, that is. Something could pop up between now and then. I'm working on reading Dear John and the last one I read was The Last Song and was excited about the movie, until I saw who was the leading role. I still haven't gone to see that movie only because she's in it. Its petty, I know. But from what I hear, she ruins that movie anyway and I'd rather not see her butcher a good book. I like to read the books before I see the movie. I haven't seen Dear John yet. I didn't even know when I started reading his works that he was the genius behind The Notebook and a couple more of my favorite movies.

Taking a couple days off next week cuz I won't have a car. Its gonna be at hubby's parents house cuz that's where they are gonna work on it and its gonna take a few days. Taking some vacation days is cheaper than renting a car to go to work. I will get to sleep in a bit, then walk Lilly to school, come home and either nap, clean or just do whatever. I was excited yesterday about being able to have Taco Bell for lunch one day... and then I remembered that I will have no way to get there. Its too far to walk, so I guess today I will mosey on down to the mall and get me some Taco Bell. I love tacos. I just don't really trust the mall food too much. Seems like a plan to me, though. The baby wants what the baby wants and today, he wants tacos..... I'm so glad he doesn't hate them. I think I would have to cry if I couldn't have my tacos.

Finally got my Walmart credit card paid off this morning!!! One goal down, a million to go.

Lilly finally got to feel her baby brother kick. She asked, "Is that his foot or his butt?" I told her I didn't know and she said that it better not have been his butt. LOL!! I told her he will kick more often and we will be able to feel it better once my tummy starts getting bigger. I can only tell a slight difference in my size. I have only gained like 6 pounds all together, but my tummy has grown. The pants I bought to be big on me so I can grow into them...well...I'm almost grown into them. Not quite yet, but almost. I think my tummy's grown an inch or so. I had a 2 inch gap in these pants, I had to hook them on the belt loop instead of the hooks (they are dress pants) and now I don't have to. They are still a bit big. Probably in the next couple of weeks I will be into my maternity pants.

I made a horrible dinner last night. I was so excited about it all day yesterday, then I get home and it sucked. Well..it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't my best and it really wasn't worth keeping the leftovers. So, I told hubby that whenever I make a bad dinner, he gets to cook the next day...... he asks me what I want him to order. If its that easy to get some take out, maybe I should cook bad more often. ;-)

I woke up in such an excellent mood. I had a horrible dream, but woke up smiling and cheerful. Its only 9:30, lets hope this mood lasts the rest of the day.

Its only Tuesday?

The baby is moving like crazy right now. He was doing it last night too. As soon as I decided it was time to go to bed, he stated moving. Not little subtle kicks and bumps, no, he was in full swing doing gymnastics in my stomach. Hubby got to feel him right as he was calming down. Lilly still hasn't gotten to feel him. He never moves when she's around. Mostly he moves while I'm at work or she's asleep. Hopefully since I have her all weekend she will get a chance to feel her baby brother kick her hand.

I do wish we could agree on a name for him so we can stop calling him "him" or "the baby." I honestly don't feel like any name we have talked about is his. I do feel like Alexander is right for him in one way or another, first or middle. There are a lot of names that go well with Alexander, we just can't agree on any and none really "fit" him.

Just had a training session on our new phones. The training lasted 2 hours!! New phone system that we can access through our computers and such. Its gonna take some getting use to and a lot of exploring. The system isn't up and running completely yet. It will be by next week, but right now we can only call inside our department.

The guy that was doing the training was talking really loud at one point and woke up the baby. He started kicking the hell outta me. I almost had to get up and leave until he calmed down.

I feel like its Thursday. Its gonna be a long week.

Busy weekend

Small bit of good news. Hubby asked the neighbors of the house we want and they said that it is indeed still for sale. Its just not posted on the websites anymore, at this moment.

My doc appointment went ok. I only gained a pound, blood pressure is good, baby's heartbeat is great and when they did the ultrasound a couple weeks ago, he weighed 9 ounces. 9 ounces at 18 weeks and a few days. The doc said that he weighed a day more than he should........ well........ maybe that's how old he really is. You could have the days wrong. It happens. Of course he could just be big. She said that they found a shadow on his heart, but its nothing to freak out about. I'm scheduled for another ultrasound and if its still there, then we can freak out. She also told me the placenta is lower than it should be and I'm scheduled to get that checked out in a couple weeks too. If it doesn't move up within that time, we freak out. I don't really know what it means now, but she told me not to worry unless we have to, so I'm not. I did ask her about my feet swelling up so much already and she told me to just drink more water and prop my feet up more often.

Family reunion with hubby's family was ok. Food wasn't too good and the older ladies wore too much perfume, but everything was ok. It was raining and I went outside often to cool off since it was so hot in there. When we went to leave I saw my hair. I don't care if/when my hair gets horrible, I just like to know about it.

Went shopping Sunday for some maternity clothes. Went to 2 Walmarts, a Peebles, the mall, 3 K-Marts and finally found some. The mall was too expensive, Wal mart doesn't have any, Peebles doesn't have any, the first 2 K-Marts didn't either. Finally at the last one I found 4 racks. I got 2 pair of work pants, a pair of jeans and one shirt........... for $90!!!!!! I didn't expect it to be that much at a K-Mart. I needed the clothes. I'm just sad that I spent that much for clothes I'm only going to be able to wear for a couple of months.

Right before we were to get Lilly back from her father, hubby tells me my car is junk. Well, I already knew that. I have a 2001 Oldsmobile Alero. I bought it January 2006, replaced the engine back in late 2007, a million things have been replaced......... and now he tells me that I'm going to need a new engine again. The last one cost me $2,000, I can't afford one now. I had money saved up back then, but now its all gone. Its gone to fixing my car, paying off debt, getting old medical bills under control, and 3 years of Christmas presents. I told him we might as well just get me another car but then he pointed out that if we get another car that means another loan.... and that means less of a chance we'll get the loan for the house when the time comes. Him and his dad are going to try to rebuild the part that we're having trouble with. Try to get it to withstand at least a couple more months. But then I started thinking........ if we do get a house (well, even if we don't, we are still going to have to move to a bigger place with more rent), and I get another car, I don't think we can swing that either. Depends on how big of a payment I get for the car. In March we will have 2 kids in day care. I don't know if they give a good discount for multiple kids or not. I still need to check on that.

I get Lilly back and she has this humongous splinter in the palm of her left hand. Her father tells me that its not a splinter cuz they tried to get it out and saw nothing, they think its just a cut or a blister. No, no it wasn't. That thing they thought was a blister, was where it was infected. So, 30 minutes of screaming and crying from me and her both, we finally got it out. I tried and then we stopped for a bit. Hubby tried and then we stopped for a bit. It wasn't budging. He calls his mom to come out and help. She must have used magic or something cuz 2 minutes into it, she gets it out.

Busy weekend. Back to work, then off to anther busy weekend. At least I get to keep Lilly this weekend. We're going "camping."

its Friday!

The house we were wanting is no longer on the website. :-(

There are no other houses in the area that we want that are for sale. We do have a couple more months before we can try to reapply for a loan and hopefully something will pop up. We need at least 3 bedrooms, not on the main road and a yard would be super nice. I was in a decent mood until I decided to look at houses and noticed that ours is gone. Someone said that maybe the real estate agnet's contract ran out or something...whatever that means.

And I got a phone call. It was a number that I know belongs to a hospital. They said that I still owed over $2,000 to the ambulance authority and that my last payment was $78 in June. I just cleared everything off my credit report in June. If I paid $78 then that's all that was reported and that's all I'm going to pay.
I just remembered that they can't put ambulance stuff on your credit report and I made that payment because I was calling them over another bill I had. What ambulance ride cost $2,000???? I know my first one only cost me $285. Wait...I've only been in one once since I moved out of mom's house and that was the bill. I didn't pay it, but that was the bill. My first wreck I didn't take an ambulance I was taken by someone to the hospital. My second wreck I rode in one, but that was just a few blocks. They didn't do anything or give me anything while I was in the ambulance so I don't know how $285 went up to over $2,000.

Lilly had quite a nosebleed yesterday morning. It was kinda gross. That kind of stuff usually doesn't bother me, but today..... yeah, it did. She's had enough that she knows what to do, but I was helping her out cuz we were trying to get out the door and I didn't want it to drip all over her clothes. I made sure it had stopped before we left. I cleaned her up and we were on our way after about 15 minutes. She doesn't freak out about them anymore. She gets them a lot and knows what to do. Just one of those things that suck that she inherited from her father.... if you can inherit those kinds of things. Maybe its a weak sinus cavity or something of the sort.

Yesterday my coffee smelled like hot dogs. Better than what it smelled like the other day. I know I shouldn't drink it, but sleep didn't happen again that night. I don't know what the deal was. I just kept waking up thinking I was going to be late to work. Lilly woke up a few times too. First she was thirsty, then she uncovered herself and refused to cover up herself. I think she was still asleep and I didn't want to go through a big thing about her covering herself up and then actually waking her up.

She finally got to fly her kite Wednesday. The wind was good and the temp outside was decent. Here's a few pics. It was the first time she ever flew a kite. I think it was my first time too. She was doing really really good keeping the kite in the air, until I took out my camera. As soon as I started video taping her, the kite crashed. I didn't even get enough time to zoom in on her. So, here are the 3 pics I got to take without zoom and such.

Yesterday was quite uneventful. I think I ate more than I should have. I haven't weighed myself today yet. I have a doc appointment today and a family reunion tomorrow. Baby has been calm, until its time to sleep.

stupid criminals

Around my area there have been a lot of stupid criminals. Well... any criminal is stupid, but some more so than others. Here are two examples from my area and one from Ohio. The two from WV happened this week.

W.Va. (WSAZ) -- Weeks later, deputies have tracked down the man they say broke in to the Dollar General on Campbells Creek Drive in Kanawha County.
An interview aired on WSAZ on Aug. 25 actually played a big part in the arrest, investigators say.
Investigators and reporters alike often rely on people who live near a crime scene for information.
But in this case, one source helped deputies in a very significant way.
After the break-in at his neighborhood Dollar General, Zackory Pullens told WSAZ.com he was concerned for his community.
"Everybody shops there. It's a good place. Good people work there. It's a really friendly place to go to," Pullens says.
Pullens told us he heard some loud noises at the store, which is across the street from his house.
"Glass was shattered. So, I stuck my head in the window, thinking there was somebody in there. I hollered. I was like, 'Hello, is anybody in there? Just to let you know I called the cops,' " Pullens told us.
Deputies say it turns out his story's not true. In fact, they say he never called police.
What’s more, the once-concerned neighbor is now charged with breaking and entering.
"It was so blatant that his clothing was very similar to the person who was standing at the broken glass at the Dollar General that it was almost hard to believe that this could be our suspect, and it was easily being handed to us," Detective A.C. Pile says.
Pullens didn't have much to say to WSAZ.com Tuesday night, but deputies say he confessed to the break in.
When they went to his house last week, they found a Dollar General bag on his porch filled with items reported from the store.
According to a criminal complaint, Pullens has confessed to breaking into the store.

Really? You put your face on tv talking about the robbery when you are the one who did it? Wow.... Here's another...

W.Va (WSAZ) -- Kanawha County Sheriff's Deputies have issued an arrest warrant for the man who they say attempted to rob a video lottery parlor early Wednesday morning. The man was shot by an employee and is in the hospital.
The warrant has been issued for 30 year-old Chad Wehrle. Police believe he's the man who walked into Teresa's Cafe, demanded money and told everyone to get on the ground. Police say he was carrying a shotgun and wearing a red bandanna covering his face.
But a worker at the cafe managed to grab a gun and shot at Wehrle. Police say he ran from the video lottery parlor and shot several times at the building.
Wehrle later showed up at the hospital. He is listed in serious condition.

I know he needed to go to the hospital, but if you seriously think you can just walk into a bar here in WV and try to rob it, you got another thing coming man. We protect ourselves here.

And here's the one from Ohio....

General rule of thumb: when looking to buy marijuana, don't text the sheriff. Authorities said a Helena teen sent out a text message last week in search of pot, but instead of contacting the drug dealer, he hit a wrong number and inadvertently sent the message to Lewis and Clark County Sheriff Leo Dutton. The text read, "Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now?" Dutton told the Helena Independent Record he initially thought it was a joke, but he quickly realized it was a real request for drugs. He responded to the text, and a detective pretending to be the dealer organized a meeting with the boy last Wednesday. The detective spotted two teenage boys at the arranged meeting spot and called the number three times to make sure he had the right person. Dutton said when the detective showed the teens his badge, their faces turned white and their knees began to wobble. One of the boys even fainted.

All I have to say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Week 21

Your Pregnancy: Week 21~Twenty-one is a magic number. It means independence. It means you just won a hand of blackjack. In pregnancy terms, it means you have gotten over the hump and you only have 19 weeks left!

Your Body~Did you know that your growing belly is directly proportional to your sex drive? In other words, the bigger you get, the bigger it gets. That's a sweet way of saying that second trimester hormones can turn you into a total horn dog. (Finally a physical benefit your partner can actually appreciate.) As long as your pregnancy is going well, engaging in a little "love me do" is perfectly safe and healthy. In a healthy pregnancy, having sex is perfectly fine—even in the third trimester. There was a time when you tried different sex positions all the time. Now that your growing belly is making the old reliable missionary position obsolete, it's time to get creative again.When you're about ready to pop, some say sex can induce contractions. And even if it doesn't work, you can still have fun trying.

Your Baby~Chances are good you're feeling someone performing a round-off back handspring in your uterus by now. Is there any other feeling this cool? Other highlights this week:By now your baby looks like a mini-version of what she'll look like when she's born. All her facial features are formed and hair is growing on her head. She's even acting like a baby and will occasionally suck her thumb or yawn. Aww ... Baby's heartbeat is getting stronger and can be heard using a good old-fashioned stethoscope. Ask for a listen at your next prenatal visit! By 21 weeks, fetal bone marrow starts making blood cells—previously done by the liver and spleen. This may not sound that exciting, but it's good news. The amniotic fluid that has been cushioning your little bean now serves another purpose: Your baby uses it to "practice" chowing down. Yes, it sounds gross (as many aspects of pregnancy do), but it's an important step for your baby toward being able to chow down in the real world. Your baby has been swallowing amniotic fluid for a while now, but now the intestines are finally developed enough that she's absorbing small amounts of sugars from it. And let's face it, being able to effectively digest sugar is important at every stage of life.Your baby now weighs between 10 and 11 ounces and is approximately 7 inches long—the size of a delicious, cold, frothy bottle of root beer. Float anyone?

what IS wrong?

Second post of the day!!!!!!!!!

I think things are starting to smell weird to me. My lunch kinda smelled like Formaldehyde. It didn't smell that way if it was right in front of me, but when I set it off to the side......WHOA! I know this should most definitely turn me off from eating it. I just thought maybe it was the microwave giving it an odd smell or something..... so yeah.....I ate it anyway. Hey, you don't get in between a prego and her food. I didn't really smell the bad smell until I was half finished anyway. I know you think its gross and right now, thinking about it....I kinda wanna throw up. It tasted ok. Maybe it was the container I had it in. I still blame it on the microwave though. In case you're wondering... yes I do know what Formaldehyde smells like.... hence the comparison. The smell kind of still lingers in my room. Smells kinda like dead fish now. I am right beside the kitchen, so the smell could very well be coming from there. It could all be in my head too.

Paper......... ew.......I cannot stand the smell of hot paper now. I can't describe that smell. Kinda like sawdust mixed with fish and eggs.... um... that's the best I can come up with. No one else can smell it. Just me. Like I'm crazy or something. Whenever I'm printing something from my printer here at work I have to get up and get away from the smell of the paper. My paper is evil. It used to not smell bad to me. I couldn't smell anything a couple weeks ago. Maybe its this new paper they keep sending us. Maybe my nose is on the fritz.

I did cheat and have some coffee today. I was so tired from not sleeping well these past couple of days and needed a caffeine boost. Well, my coffee smelled kinda bad too. Like burnt popcorn or something. Didn't smell as bad as the paper...or my lunch.

Did you feel that? That was the baby in case you were wondering. He is awake now. Maybe he is smelling the bad smells I smell, but poor baby.... he can't get away.

I feel weird today. Maybe there was something really bad in my food. Am I poisoned now? I don't feel sick, I just feel weird. Tired yes. I just had my crying fit of the day. It happens, don't worry. I haven't had one in a few days so I was due. My face is all red and gross looking now. Just had to go reapply my eyeliner. Thank goodness I chose not to wear mascara today. Luckily no one came in my office during my tears.

Nose is broken. It can't smell anything right these days. Eyes are dry now, but I still feel........ odd.

Hang in there!!

My day was starting out pretty bad. I had a horrible dream last night, I didn't sleep well, I couldn't find any shoes for Lilly that matched her outfit, it was raining, I'm having a bad hair day, my nose is runny and stuffy at the same time, I'm sneezing like crazy, I was running late, traffic was terrible and no one knows how to drive in the rain it seems...... but I finally get to work, log on to 1000 awesome things, and there is a post that seems like it was written just for me today. #422~ Hanging on. If you haven't already, I strongly urge you to go take a peek at today's post. http://1000awesomethings.com/2010/09/08/422-hanging-on/ When I opened my daily email from this blog and saw the title to today's post I pictured the poster with the cat hanging onto the tree branch (hang in there) and didn't really think much of it, but as soon as I started reading my mood shifted. A smile crept across my face and everything that was making my day bad seemed so petty now. I love Neil's writing style. The way the words flow together and the choice of phrases.... well... what can I say.... it was so perfect for today.

Yesterday was just like every other day... nothing too special happened.

I did get a recipe for Borscht from a friend. I'm very excited to give that a try. I asked hubby last night if he would eat it if I fixed it and he said he didn't know. I'm going to have to take him the recipe to look over so I can know.

Still haven't settled on a baby name. Out of the blue one night he suggested his grandpa's name. Now... I already said that I didn't want to name the baby after anyone in either of our families. I don't want to honor one family and not the other. I'm pretty set on the name Alexander for at least the middle name... but he threw out Denvil................... what else can I say? I don't know what happened to Michael or Zachary...I thought he really liked those names.

Speaking of the baby, he knows hubby's voice already. Whenever hubby is talking loud the baby moves and kicks like crazy. But as soon as hubby stops talking, the baby stops too.
And it seems like he knows when I want to go to sleep. Last night I was laying there getting ready to drift away............... thump..........thump.........bump............ ok, ok, I'm up now. I rubbed my belly, I tapped right where his head is, I rolled over and finally he calmed down just enough for me to get to sleep.

I can see my baby belly now. Its popping out. Its there. Its real. Its here to stay a while and grow even bigger. Lilly commented on my tummy last night. "Mommy!! You're getting fat!!" yeah... thanks for that. Crazy girl. She was in a good mood all day yesterday. Very unusual these days. We watched a movie, had dinner, played Battleship and then I took her outside to run for a few minutes before bed. She didn't even get mad when I turned her tv off. Wow.... that's the Lilly we all know. She's been moody since right before school started. I think she's starting to get in the flow of things and learn her own routine a bit. Hopefully it lasts.

Busy weekend

'Twas a busy weekend. Went out Saturday and got Lilly a twin sized bed. Its been killing me that she was still sleeping in a toddler bed, but we didn't have room. Well...I was determined to make room. We went out and got the mattress and box springs, the bed frame and such came from hubby's sister (it was hers, then her daughters) and his mom went shopping with me and bought the blankets and sheets. We picked out purple butterflies. Lilly's two favorite things. So my Saturday was spent shopping, cleaning, cleaning and then shopping some more. Started the say at 8 and it ended after midnight. Sunday I finally got around to doing the laundry. We went to his sister's for a cookout, but an hour into it I had to leave to get Lilly. I picked her up and we went back to the cookout and stayed for a long time. When we finally got home, she had no idea she had a new bed. We kept trying to get her in the bedroom without telling her why and she started getting whiney. She finally went to the doorway and without even turning the light on her face lit up. "You got me a new bed!!" The light came on and she flew across the floor and jumped right up there. We were worried about her falling out of bed, but she hasn't yet.
Monday we went to my storage building. I had forgotten just how stuffed it was. Hubby got up there and climbed around and threw boxes and bags out for me and Lilly to go through. We got a big bag full of baby clothes out and some toys. We did find the bathtub, but that's it. We didn't get to go through the entire building. Hubby said it was impossible unless we wanted to take everything out. Hopefully soon I can go through it. Its almost house time!! Just a couple more months and we can try again!!
One of the girls here at work had her baby on Friday. She didn't want to know what it was and I think I was the only one telling her it was going to be boy..... and it was. Still don't know what she named him or his weight or anything like that. Her due date was yesterday.....Labor day..... how weird would that have been? Go into labor on Labor day? All the girls that was pregnant here at work has had boys. There is only one that's having a girl, but technically she doesn't count. She isn't from this office. She works for the same bank in the same department, but in a different branch. She's due in December. And then its me in January. ... and I think that's it. At least for now.
In January it all started, one had a boy. April one girl had twin boys. May another had a boy. June, another boy. September, boy. The one that had hers in June, I told her she is the one that jinxed me. She kept telling me I was next in line and that I was going to have a boy just like the rest of them...... see what she did to me? LOL.....
Hubby's liking his job. So far he's still in training mode and isn't really doing much. That and they are kinda slow. They are suppose to get really busy next month. I like his hours. 7-3:30. He gets home right before me. Those are the same hours he worked at his last job. He doesn't get the same holidays off or the same vacation days. He gets no vacation until he's been there a year and then he only gets one week. He gets two weeks vacation when he's been there 6 years! He only gets some of the major holidays off. He does have to work Christmas Eve. That's the only one that bothers me. On the even years that's when we have Lilly to do Christmas. We'll figure something out. Maybe celebrate before he goes to work.
Busy weekend leads to another busy weekend. We have a family reunion to go to on Saturday. Its about 2 hours away. Gotta doctor's appointment on Friday. I don't think anything is planned for Sunday.

Long weekend!!

I read somewhere the other day that a bad mood normally only lasts 10 hours at the most..... I thought that was interesting since I've been in a mood these past couple of days. Of course the bad mood didn't last all day. It went away, but always found its way right back. I think once everything is worked out with court, my bad moods will be less known. I was mostly in a bad mood on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I was in a fantastic mood. I was hyper and very productive at work. Thursday..... I felt kinda sick and today, well...I'm just tired.
I think I'm starting to learn the baby's sleep pattern. WOOHOO!! He has found this one place to kick that kinda makes me sick....just that one place, but I found out that if I tap on my belly, he stops.
I also found this other cool website. It was linked through msn.com. If you have extra time today go check out http://www.etsy.com/. My favorite I saw was a Mason jar chandelier. I thought of Mom and am thinking about making one myself. It doesn't look that hard. Just some Mason jars in a holder with some solar lights. I told her last night that I was thinking about making her Christmas present this year and she said she was worried about what it was. hahahaha. I made her two photo albums last year. One of just Lilly and one of my wedding pictures.

I didn't have a lot of time to have a good look around the site, though. I did find some lamps I thought were cool and a clock or two.

I ended up crying yesterday when I passed Lilly's daycare. I miss her so much and I'm just so worried about how she's going to do today in school. I hope she does well.

Gonna get to go to my storage building on Monday. See what baby stuff I do actually have, not what I think I have. Maybe figure out what I'm going to do with all those pink clothes.

Week 20

Like I've said a dozen times..... I'm not a big fan of this site where I get the pregnancy info, but its one of the only places that has such a detailed picture of the baby. I just don't like the writing style. They can just say what's going on instead of trying to be "cool" when they clearly are not.

Your Pregnancy: Week 20~Hooray! You're halfway there! And in case you don't believe 20 weeks is a milestone worth celebrating, consider that it's longer than a semester at college—or any relationship you had in high school. Congrats! This is also the week your bambino is able to flash you on the sonogram, revealing what exactly he or she is packing. Why not celebrate with a bottle of sparkling grapefruit juice? It's not as sexy as champagne, but it's got bubbles, and that counts for something, right?

Your Body~Stretch marks are the battle scars of pregnancy. Think of those tiny lines on your belly, breasts and butt with pride, not embarrassment. They're caused by your skin stretching to accommodate your growing belly—a necessary evil!

The truth is stretch marks are difficult if not impossible to avoid. But, hey, even if cocoa butter isn't a wonder cure, it sure does feel good going on ... especially if your partner does it for you! And it makes you smell like a freshly baked chocolate cake! And the good news? A dermatologist can help lessen the appearance of stretch marks after your pregnancy.

And it doesn't stop there. Other skin changes like acne and rashes are also common while pregnant. So if you're breaking out all over, you're not alone and it will go away.

Your Baby~This is the week most women get that ever-important gender-revealing ultrasound. If your baby isn't shy, the genitals can be clearly seen at this point. Will the baby pee standing up or sitting down? Well, that depends on how you potty train—but if you're interested, you could leave the appointment knowing if you're carrying a boy or a girl. Other highlights this week:

Your baby has established sleep patterns akin to a newborn now. Many babies even have a favorite sleep position already. Some snooze with their chins resting on their chests, while others nap with their head flung back. Many babies at this age fall into noticeable cycles of sleep and activity, so you may know before she arrives whether you have a night owl or an early bird.

If your baby is a boy, the testes have begun descending from the pelvis into the scrotum. If it's a girl, her uterus is completely formed and the rest of her "parts" are in development. (Is that TMI?)

From this point forward, your baby will put most of her energy into gaining weight and, not coincidentally, so will you! Right now your baby weighs approximately 10½ ounces and is about 6½ inches long, about the size of a can of Red Bull (which has way too much caffeine for a pregnant woman to be drinking).

more grrrrr

After leaving work an hour and a half early, being pissed off and nervous all day.... baby daddy requests that we postpone everything. He said he needs to better prepare himself and seek COUNSIL!!!!!!! Better prepare yourself for what? I've been telling you what I wanted to do for over a year now and your wanting to bring in a lawyer over ONE DAY????? Its not about what he wants or what I want anymore, its all about what is best for Lilly. Apparently he thinks a long drive before and after school, to and from his house is what is best for Lilly. The judge said that we have to stay with our current arrangement until we come back to court. She said that since we can't reach an agreement we'll probably have to go to mediation. SERIOUSLY????? If he thinks I'm going to give in, he's got another thing coming. She doesn't need to be going that far after school that late on Thursdays and then wake up that early and go that far to go back to school on Fridays. That is not good for her. She won't have time to do anything. What about homework? What about sleep? She gonna sleep in the car during that long drive?
When we got out of court I asked him if he was seriously going to keep getting her on Thursdays and not bring her back until Sunday at 6 and he does his smart-ass laugh and says.... "I'll think about it." He's not thinking about what is best for Lilly, he's just wanting to get what he wants and piss me off.
I told her teacher to make me a report about her behavior on Fridays and let me know if she is any different so I can take that to court when we go back.
I already feel bad for Lilly. She's at the point where she doesn't like going to her father's house anymore, but I can't tell her its ok not to go. And she's not going to tell him anything like that cuz she doesn't like hurting anyone's feelings. She's already upset about going to his house tomorrow. I don't want to bring up "Lilly said..." in court cuz I don't really have any proof and its more or less my word against his.
So... an hour after her father was home, enough time to talk to his girlfriend about what to do, he sends me a text telling me he is in fact going to get her on Thursdays. And to top it off picture day is Friday and I will have no say in what she wears or what her hair will look like. I told him to dress her up pretty and do her hair.... we'll see.
The whole situation is just so stupid. She needs a routine and some stability. She has a lot going on right now and throwing her back and forth in the middle of the week while she's trying to do school is going to push her over the edge. She's only 5. She gets frustrated so easily. I just wish he would think of her for a change instead of himself.