Court and baby pics

Ok, well...court was today. He made his week on/week off argument and the judge basically laughed at him. She set the custody like this~
He gets her Thursdays after school and keeps her until Mondays, takes her to school...on the second and fourth weekend of each month. I get her every week and the first and third weekends...and when there's a fifth weekend. I didn't really get what I wanted. I mean, I did get more time with her, but I was trying to make it where he didn't take her to school at all. This way I know she is well rested and her school work gets done. I told him when we got out that if he would have just went with what I suggested he would have ended up with more time. I was trying to not make him an every other weekend father, but since he wanted to fight me, that's what he is. The judge didn't say anything about the child support. I don't know how we are going to end up doing the holidays, the judge said that was up to us, but if it was her she would just let the holidays be. Like if a holiday fell on his time, it was solely his time and I wouldn't see her at all. The only problem is, trick-or-treat and Christmas all fall on his time...every year. Until Christmas is on Tuesday or Wednesday..but its always on the fourth week. Trick or treat here is always the Thursday closest to Halloween. This year, its this Thursday. I hope he won't be a jerk when it comes to the holidays. If he wants I will sacrifice one of my weekends during the months of the problem holidays just to have that day split like we have now. We'll see I guess. I gotta give him time to calm down before I go badgering him about the holidays that are a month away. This schedule is not going into effect until Veteran's Day. I guess that's when he'll pick her up on Thursday and bring her back on Monday.
Doc appt on Friday went great. The baby got the hiccups while they were trying to do his echo, so it took longer than usual. His growth is great, he weighs 2.1 pounds right now. His heart is great, there was no shadow this time. That was about all they could tell me. I gotta wait 'til Wednesday for my doctor's appt to know more. Here's some pics......

I told hubby that if he is still wanting to give him any family name, I must insist on it being his middle name, not his first. He said that Alexander doesn't sound right as a first name, I asked him to clarify what he meant cuz to me it sounds ok...but he couldn't. I think I got him thinking about his name for the middle name now. I had first told him absolutely no on his name...cuz its his name, his dad's name, one of his uncle's names, and a cousin... but now that I told him it can be the middle name, I think he is considering it. I told him it was my compromise. Make it the middle name instead of just saying NO since I didn't want to name the baby after anyone in either one of our families. I want him to have his own name...but I compromised.

...........

Lilly's father called me last night. Ten minutes before Lilly's bedtime, he calls....to fight. We have court on Monday and he decided last night was a good time to bring things up and piss me off. He is still saying things about having equal time with her. I understand that, but when its messing up her school work and her sleep, we have a problem. With what I am wanting, he isn't losing that much time with her anyway. I've tried to be nice and put him into consideration. Its not like I'm suggesting he only get her every other weekend. This is what I typed up this morning.... I'm debating on taking it to court with me so I can stay focused. My brain doesn't work like it should lately and I dont' wanna miss any key points.

Lilly cannot get the stability she needs even in the schedule we have now. She is thrown around in the middle of the week and her routine is interrupted. The ride she takes when he takes her to and from school is not good for her either. She is always so tired on Fridays and there have been at least one time she didn’t finish her school work because she was so tired. In one instance, he dressed her very inappropriate for the day. From what the teachers from school and the YMCA both have told me, she was wearing clothes that were fitted for a blizzard. She had gym that day and had to keep stopping because she was overheating.
He keeps suggesting a week on/week off schedule. I don’t see how that would benefit Lilly at all. He keeps saying things about trying to keep the times equal between us, but that is not fair to Lilly. Her health and school come first. This is why I requested for him to pick her up on Fridays instead of Thursdays and bring her back to me on Sundays just an hour and a half earlier. He can still get her on Thursdays when there is no school on Fridays. He can keep her later on Sundays when there is no school on Mondays. During the summer we can go back to the schedule we are on now. There isn’t much of a time difference there, but it helps Lilly stay in a routine. I think this way will cause less frustration and less confusion for Lilly every week.
If he wants to talk about time, we can talk about time. As it is set right now, he gets Thursday evening, Friday morning and evening, Saturday all day and night and Sunday all day with Lilly. She only gets one or two hours on Sunday with me, half an hour before school and 3 hours before bed on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Those short hours are spent doing homework, cooking, eating dinner and her taking a shower. There isn’t much time for anything else. All I requested for this is one weekend a month. One weekend so I can finally take her to carnivals, to fairs, to birthday parties, to visit my family, to hang out with her friends outside of school, to do things more than cook dinner and send her to bed.

There's more that I will probably add within the week. I've been keeping a journal with all the times he's messed up real bad these past couple days. Like her getting a splinter and him leaving it in all weekend and bringing her to me with it all infected...yeah...that's in my little journal. I'm not playing nice anymore. I've tried that and all its gotten me is stepped on and pushed around by him. Well, not anymore. I will not cave. Lilly comes first and if I have to pound that into his head to get him to understand, I will.

more grrrrr

After leaving work an hour and a half early, being pissed off and nervous all day.... baby daddy requests that we postpone everything. He said he needs to better prepare himself and seek COUNSIL!!!!!!! Better prepare yourself for what? I've been telling you what I wanted to do for over a year now and your wanting to bring in a lawyer over ONE DAY????? Its not about what he wants or what I want anymore, its all about what is best for Lilly. Apparently he thinks a long drive before and after school, to and from his house is what is best for Lilly. The judge said that we have to stay with our current arrangement until we come back to court. She said that since we can't reach an agreement we'll probably have to go to mediation. SERIOUSLY????? If he thinks I'm going to give in, he's got another thing coming. She doesn't need to be going that far after school that late on Thursdays and then wake up that early and go that far to go back to school on Fridays. That is not good for her. She won't have time to do anything. What about homework? What about sleep? She gonna sleep in the car during that long drive?
When we got out of court I asked him if he was seriously going to keep getting her on Thursdays and not bring her back until Sunday at 6 and he does his smart-ass laugh and says.... "I'll think about it." He's not thinking about what is best for Lilly, he's just wanting to get what he wants and piss me off.
I told her teacher to make me a report about her behavior on Fridays and let me know if she is any different so I can take that to court when we go back.
I already feel bad for Lilly. She's at the point where she doesn't like going to her father's house anymore, but I can't tell her its ok not to go. And she's not going to tell him anything like that cuz she doesn't like hurting anyone's feelings. She's already upset about going to his house tomorrow. I don't want to bring up "Lilly said..." in court cuz I don't really have any proof and its more or less my word against his.
So... an hour after her father was home, enough time to talk to his girlfriend about what to do, he sends me a text telling me he is in fact going to get her on Thursdays. And to top it off picture day is Friday and I will have no say in what she wears or what her hair will look like. I told him to dress her up pretty and do her hair.... we'll see.
The whole situation is just so stupid. She needs a routine and some stability. She has a lot going on right now and throwing her back and forth in the middle of the week while she's trying to do school is going to push her over the edge. She's only 5. She gets frustrated so easily. I just wish he would think of her for a change instead of himself.

grrrr

So I have court today. I have to go back today to deal with the new custody arrangements that I'm trying to get. As its set now, Lilly's father gets her on Thursdays and brings her back Sundays at 6 pm and I don't have any weekends. I want it changed so he gets her on Fridays brings her back Sundays at 4:30 pm and I get one weekend a month. Not too bad of a change, right? It gives her a routine and time so she's not rushed around, she won't get in such bad moods all the time, or get confused about what's going on.... but..... yes, there is always a but... her father doesn't want anything to change. He lives in a whole different school district like 30 miles away from her school. I don't get any weekends, and our days together are always rushed. When I get her back at 6 on Sunday, it gives us half an hour to visit my grandparents (that's where the drop off point is), a half an hour drive, and then an hour before her bedtime to spend time with her, talk to her, get her in the shower, feed her and calm her down. All of this usually puts her in such a bad mood and she ends up crying. I would like to get her back just a little earlier so things aren't so rushed. I would like to have at least one weekend a month with her so I can actually spend time with her that doesn't consist of doing homework, picking out school clothes and stuff like that. It would be nice to actually have quality time with her, take her to visit family, do fun things with her, anything... But her father doesn't care. He only cares about what he wants not what is good for Lilly. We got into a big fight Saturday about the time I would get her back on Sunday. He said that he isn't dropping her off any earlier than 6 and I told him that she has school the next day. He didn't care. I told him how she acts when things are rushed. He didn't care. All he cared about was his time with her and from what Lilly tells me he doesn't spend that much time with her when he has her anyway. She is always at her grandma's house, her sister's grandma's house, or playing with her sister while her father NAPS!!
You know.... I see my mom once a month if I'm lucky. I don't go see her unless I have Lilly and I have to take days off work or go on holidays to see her cuz I don't have weekends. I couldn't tell ya the last time she got to spend any time outside of school with any of her friends and I don't remember the last time she saw my dad. I try to spend as much time with her as possible, but time is limited and things are so rushed. Between her school and my work and her going away to her father's house... there's no time for anything but bad moods, crying, frustration and 10 minutes of play right before bedtime. We need a better, more organized routine allowing for more time for Lilly. School is a very important thing and I just don't think her father is taking the situation as seriously as he should. Instead of being concerned about HIS time he should be concerned about LILLY'S time.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


Yeah...I have just a few more hours of pulling my hair out before court. I'm already getting anxious and a bit upset.

I have no idea what else is going on....... this seems to be consuming all of my thoughts since yesterday when I found out I had court today. A little more notice would have been nice.