Worries

Lilly had a cute project for school. The teacher sent home a picture of a turkey that she had to disguise so he wouldn't be eaten for Thanksgiving. She made him into a tree. We went outside and got some leaves and a couple pieces of bark and glued them to the turkey. It looks really cute. I bet she'll be the only tree turkey on that wall. I'll try to take a picture of it and post it on here tomorrow....if I remember. My memory isn't all that good these days.
I had so much energy yesterday. I guess I drained myself cuz I'm just so tired. Its not even 10:00 yet and I could seriously take a nap..... for a few hours. It just seems like the days fly by. I wake up and before I know it, I'm laying back down at night to go to sleep. What happened to the day? And when I get tired like this I kinda feel bad cuz I have so much that needs to get done. I feel like I'm neglecting my duties, but there really isn't much I can do about it. Caffeine does nothing. Exercise just makes me more tired. I hope this is all just pregnancy related tiredness and nothing permanent. I remember the days when I could function very well on only 3 or 4 hours of sleep. That wasn't really that long ago. Its like I turned into an 80 year old woman overnight. One day I have all this energy and can run around and get things done and only sleep for a little while, but the next day I need AT LEAST 8 hours of sleep and sometimes that's still not good enough. Yeah, I'm not sleeping well these days...but still-I'm getting more than 4 hours in.
Lilly had a nightmare last night about mosquitos. She said that the mosquito was on her then jumped to someone else. Scared her. Almost scared her as bad as the dream where a giraffe was chasing her.
The baby is way more active these days. It seems like he barely sleeps anymore. Or he is just tossing and turning that much in his sleep. He is up in my ribs sometimes and it hurts for me to breathe. I don't know if he's sticking a foot up there or what, but it just hurts so bad sometimes. I do still try to make sure he is awake and moving around 7 in the morning and again at 8 or so at night. Sometimes when I wake him up around 8 at night, he stays up for a really long time and I can't get to sleep. Sometimes he'll move just a certain way in the middle of the night and it'll wake me up cuz I'm just so uncomfortable. I don't remember going through all this with Lilly. Of course those were the days where I was only sleeping like 3 hours and didn't have time to feel her at night.
I also feel like I am constantly hungry. Right now, I'm hungry. Had a bagel for breakfast and it did nothing for me. I haven't really had any kind of cravings with this baby either. There for just a little bit I was craving McDonalds french fries and some sour cream and onion chips, but I don't really think that was so much a craving as a mere 'want.'
I keep trying to talk to hubby about when its time to have the baby. What's going to happen and all of my worries, but he keeps telling me we will worry about it when the time comes. No, that's not gonna work, buddy. We need to work out the kinks. I need to know what he wants me to do if I can't get a hold of him. We need to have a plan about what we are going to do with Lilly. There's just so many things that are worrying me and things we need to talk about and work out, but he just won't have any of it. Drives me crazy. He tells me not to worry about it, but how can I not worry when everything isn't figured out? Like this one- I'm planning on not working the week I'm due (whether or not I do is still really undecided) and what if I go into labor while he's at work and I'm at home? Should I wait for him to come home or do I try to drive to the hospital and meet him there?
Before I go any further with this..... my bright idea of being induced with this one like I was with Lilly is completely out of the question unless I switch doctors. I could switch to the one I wanted to begin with but couldn't cuz I didn't have insurance. Anyway...the midwife told me that they don't do voluntary induction. They don't even think about inducing until the woman is 41 weeks along unless there are complications and even then its 39 weeks. I was induced at 39 weeks with Lilly. So that kinda made me wanna cry. That was my plan for everything to be well planned out...to make sure all the important people were there....to make sure I wasn't stuck in the delivery room with his mom and/or my grandma..... to give us plenty of time to plan other things out... to figure out what to do with Lilly..... its all gone, shot down, to be no more. Now, if my blood pressure kicks up real bad, then that will call for induction at 39 weeks. I did have really bad blood pressure problems with Lilly toward the end, but not bad enough to cause too much concern. The docs just kept telling me to calm down and take it easy. Blood pressure as of right now is perfect. On Wednesday it was 128/71.
So yeah, wonderful. Just wonderful. Again, I keep trying to tell myself that there are women all over the world giving birth and everything works out just fine. I guess I've seen too many movies where things can go wrong. We'll forget my suitcase, or the car seat, or Lilly, or to call people, or something. My water will break in the middle of the night and we'll have to buy a new mattress. I'll be driving and go into labor but won't have any cell service to call for help. I know its all unlikely, but there's still a chance. I'm just a worry wart. Always have been. I always try to plan for the worse. Even if the worse doesn't happen, I can say I was prepared for it.