Going crazy

Lilly's surprise game didn't happen yesterday. I got a call yesterday while I was at work from the coach's wife saying that there is a game and they just found out about it. The schedule was changed. So, I left work early to get Lilly fed and ready and drop Zach off somewhere. Hubby went out on a search and rescue for a guy that was lost, so he wasn't home. We got to the field a bit early and she played frisbee and tag with some boys from her team. Then, her father showed up with his gf and their kid. After 20 minutes the coach called someone and heard that the other team forfeits all their games until they get a uniform cuz they don't have theirs yet. That's about the time Lilly started complaining about her stomach hurting. Coach decided to just have a short practice since almost all his kids were there. Then, Lilly started crying...so we left. We picked Zach up and went home, and she was acting just fine. I think she is just nervous about having spring break with her father. She's excited about it, but she keeps telling me that she'll miss me. She goes to her father's today and I won't see her again until Wednesday. I couldn't even make a big deal about not seeing her this morning cuz she was still upset. I wanted to give her a big hug and tell her to have fun at the zoo, but I knew that would just trigger it all back up. So, I left her at the Y and we both had tears in our eyes. I am going to miss her and I know she'll miss me, and Zach, and hubby, but I also know that she will have fun. Last year, was it last year or the year before?...she went to the beach with her father and halfway through their trip she called me wanting to come home. I hate that for her. I wish she could just have fun and not worry so much.

I broke down again last night. Zach was getting up every hour and a half, not to eat, just to cry and scream. I was so tired, I just broke down crying. And I hate to admit this, but its at the point where every time I hear him cry like that, I get this pounding headache and my ears even throb. So that doesn't help the situation. Finally after about 10 minutes of both of us crying, hubby wakes up and comes in there. He gets Zach quiet for about 5 minutes and then he started crying again. 5 minutes later, hubby was done. He couldn't handle it. So I went and picked Zach up and he stopped crying. Hubby gets up and goes back to bed. Half an hour later the baby finally went back to sleep. I'm fighting trying to keep my eyes open. I haven't had any coffee yet. I need to take a day just to myself and sleep and relax and not worry about anything and not be stressed. I have been so stressed out lately and its wearing me down. I'm always on the move, dealing with crying babies, ball games, school, work, dinner...the usual, but its catching up with me and I need a day off.

So here's a cute pic I took of the kids last night when I was trying to get Lilly to bed.