Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Stuff and Things

I really need to stop waiting so long before I update.
Lilly is 9! Her party went fine even though none of her friends from school showed up. Its funny, I was trying so hard to find a face painter for her party, but it would have basically been a waste of money since no one showed up. She had fun and that's all that matters.
Softball has started back up. Her first game is Saturday. She's been having practice and she's been rocking it. We bought her a new helmet with a face mask since her step mother had told her that she shouldn't wear her glasses while batting in case she got hit in the face. I swear, that woman is going to kill everyone. Its slow pitch and adults are doing it, I'm sure they know what they are doing and won't hit her in the face.
I tried to get hubby to get Zach to pee on a tree yesterday in our yard. Zach was excited about the idea, but then he wouldn't do it.
My brother's apartment is almost all packed up and we'll be moving them in this weekend if all goes well. My basement still isn't quite ready, but it will be when the time comes. Even if I have to take another day off work to get it done.
I'm actually not feeling too well today and was thinking about going home super early, but I'd hate to because I'm seriously running out of sick days I can take and its only the beginning of April. I have to leave work just a little early on Friday because Lilly has a scrimmage.
I woke up around 1am to find hubby outside assembling the trampoline for the kids. I was surprised. He said he couldn't sleep which is understandable since he just came off a string of midnight shifts.
Today is picture day for Lilly and she wouldn't let me do a thing with her hair. I hope she at least gets it out of her face. I've made an appointment for next week to get her hair chopped off. I wonder if she has enough to donate.
April Fools Day came and went without a single prank. I only heard about one from a guy at work that his dad had played on him.
I'm still trying hard to find another job. I'm focusing a lot on non-profits. I would love to get a meaningful job. That's my goal. I'd really love to work with kids, but non-profits for kids are better. I applied to one yesterday and one a couple of weeks ago. I doubt I'll get it, but I'm trying.
I'm feeling a bit depressed today. I could seriously just go sit somewhere and stare off into space for the rest of the day. I have no desire to do anything or talk to anyone. Yet another reason I just really want to go home. I think what I really want to do is to be a stay at home mom. I know Zach will miss day care so maybe I can do that after he starts Kindergarten. It'll be like 2 more years so hubby will be making a few more bucks. And maybe I could get a part time job just to have some money of my own. Something that's only a couple hours for a couple of days. I don't know. I just don't know anymore. I had so many ideas and dreams about what I was going to do with my life and here I am willing to just throw it all away to stay at home. I think if I did stay at home, I'd just end up getting more depressed. No one is around. My family lives so far away, my best friend isn't close enough to where I can just go to her house on a whim. I even thought about just getting a part time job at the day care, but I don't even think I want to do that anymore. Some days I just want to sit and stare at the wall and I know that's not normal. Its not even lunch time and I'm willing to throw today away. Although, I might be a little more productive at home than I would be here. I have no plans to really do anything today at work. Maybe its my medicine that's slowly making me want to just sort of disappear. I need to stop being so f'ing negative all the time. Geez.... I'm just having an off day. Ignore me.