Thursday, January 20, 2011

Due today!

The doc appt yesterday was horrible, just horrible. My weight is ok, my blood pressure was a little up but not as high as the time before, the baby's heartbeat is just fine and he's facing the right direction. When she went to see if I was dilated anymore (I'm now at 3 cm), she grabbed my cervix and pulled it down further and stretched it. IT HURT SO BAD!!! Its called stripping the cervix or something like that. She made me bleed a little bit. Apparently its suppose to help me go into labor. I made it past the full moon last night, but there's gonna be a snow storm tonight. I'd love to go in today, just not tonight. My contractions hurt so much now after what she did.
Last night we watched Despicable Me and it was so funny and cute. I missed about 10 minutes in the beginning cuz I was in the bathroom crying. I don't know why. I just felt like I needed to. I was getting ready to get out when hubby came and checked on me and caused Lilly to get concerned. I didn't want her to see me like that so I quickly cleaned myself up and put a smile on my red, blotchy face. She didn't know I was crying. I told her the potty was broken and that's why hubby was in there with me. He had to fix it cuz I broke it. I cried again right before bed. I still don't really know why, I just felt like it I guess.
This morning, Lilly was sad about having to go to her father's today. I kept telling her and reassuring her that if I do go to the hospital that her father is going to bring her if he can. I told her that's its better this way anyway. If she is with her father when I have the baby, she can still come see us, but she won't be missing anytime with us. If she was with us and I went to the hospital, she would lose one or two days with us. She decided that it was better to go to her fathers. She'd rather have 10 days with me instead of 8.
I picked her up from school yesterday and surprised her. I had to go in the classroom and sit down for a bit cuz I was in so much pain from my exam, but her face lit up so much when she saw me there. She showed me a few of her projects throughout the room and told me what she did that day as super helper.
Ok, I know this is going to make me sound like a dork.......but........... I am a big fan of the WWE. Yes, that's right, I said it. Well...the reason I mention it is cuz hubby won tickets this morning to go to an event in March!!!!!!!!! I tried to call in and win, but I was caller #3 and couldn't get back through, but hubby did. He called me and said, "So what are you doing March 20?" I was so excited, I AM excited. I have been watching wrestling since I was 5 years old. I can basically tell you whatever you wanted to know about it. I'm so glad that hubby is a fan too. So anyways.....I'm going!!! That is one of the things on my "25 things to do before I turn 25" list. And I counted the weeks, Lilly will be with her father that day so we'll only need a babysitter for the little one. OMG I'm so excited!!!! First things first, baby. Then hopefully house. Then WWE!!! Then Lilly's birthday party. She's gonna be 6 years old, wow! I was thinking about taking her and 2 of her friends ice skating. She's been wanting to go ice skating forever. I just don't know if that's something you do for 6 year olds. Last year we had her 5th birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese. She had a blast there.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Tomorrow, tomorrow!!

Well..... the baby is due tomorrow and he's still holding on pretty strong. Been having contractions all day, but they are still a bit irregular. They are getting closer together, but they go like this. 11 minutes apart, 23 minutes apart, 35,5,3,15,10,8,17,8,15,11.......... That's from 7:00 up until now. Hubby was ready last night when I had 2 contractions 10 minutes apart. I told him AGAIN that it has to last an hour not just one time. Last night I was having some bad pain that brought me to my knees, but it wasn't contractions. It was the baby pushing his way out himself. So much pressure and pain. Tonight is a full maybe! I don't know if I believe that a full moon will do anything, but everyone else does. He might actually be born on his due date. I have a doc appt today at 1:00. I'm hoping for some good news. Last week was I dilated only 1 cm, I'm hoping for a little bit more.
When I picked Lilly up yesterday at the Y she said, "Mommy. I don't know what to do." I asked her what she meant and she said, "Well...I think you're gonna have the baby tomorrow, but I'm gonna be the super helper tomorrow at school and I don't want to miss that OR the baby." I asked her which one was going to be more exciting. "The baby." I said she can go see the baby if he decides to come out and I'm sure her teacher will let her be super helper when she gets back. That made her feel a little better.
I finally got through to mom to tell her she's not coming in the delivery room and that Lilly is to be the very first one back to see the baby. Mom finally said she understood.
I do think its almost time to go to the hospital. Since I've been writing this I've had a couple more contractions and they are all 11 minutes apart except for one that was 14 minutes apart. I'm gonna try to hold out until my doc appt. That's only 2 hours away. I think I can do it. Thinking about it is making me kinda scared and excited...I can't breathe. Just the thought that last night could have been the last night before the baby and yesterday was the last time that Lilly was the only kid in the house and the only one I had to worry about and play with. I kinda wanna cry. Things are gonna change so much. I'm afraid that I'm gonna let Lilly down. She is one of my main concerns. I don't want her to feel left out or overlooked. I'm gonna wear myself thin trying to keep everyone happy. But if that's what I gotta do, that's what I'm gonna do. I do kinda see her getting upset if she's at my house when I spend the night in the hospital. It would be her first night without me there in the house. I'm sure we would send her to hubby's sister's house or something and she would be fine with that, but something tells me she's gonna worry without me there. She is a worrier and she worries about me almost as much as I worry about her. Ok.... enough with the tears, I'm at work. I can't be crying at my desk again. I guess I'm gonna go eat lunch just in case its the last time I get to eat today.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

SOON!!'s still in there. We thought we were gonna be making a trip to the hospital Sunday morning, but it was just the baby playing tricks on us. I started having contractions early in the morning and they were close together but a little irregular. I'd have one and then ten minutes later I'd have another, but then I wouldn't have one for 20 minutes and then another 5 minutes later. After about an hour and a half, they stopped. It got hubby all excited. He sent his sister a text as soon as I told him to be prepared, which was about 45 minutes into it. Good news is, it woke him up and got him out of bed instead of him sleeping the whole day away.
I am overly ready for this child to come out. I want to hold him and play with him and NAME him! I am enjoying these last few days with Lilly, though. I'm trying to make them extra special for her which is kinda hard to do with our schedules. Last week we took her out to her favorite place to eat. Sunday we went to hubby's sister house for a birthday get-together. She played with the kids....... and then got sick, almost passed out and threw up. So we went home and she continued to throw up until 3 am. Poor girl. I felt so bad for her. I didn't really know what to do. I mean, I helped her and made her as comfortable as possible, got up with her every time, cleaned her off... all that good stuff, but I just wish I could have done more for her. The first time she threw up she said, "I guess I just have to get sick sometimes." Yeah, that's the bad part of growing up. I just hope she has my immune system and not her fathers. I rarely get sick like that. She was sick not too long ago, about September or October. It was the only day she missed school the first 9 weeks. Hubby hasn't been sick since August. Me? I can't remember. I was kinda sick the day after Christmas in 2009, but it wasn't too bad.
We still haven't heard anything on the loan for the house!!!!!!! I don't know what is taking so long, but its driving me crazy!!!!! Its been a month and still no word of any kind. How hard is it to look through our file and determine if we get the loan or not. Look at our credit scores and what we make and our debt (we have no debt!!!!) and come up with an answer. If we can't afford what we asked, just tell us what you will allow us to have. How hard is that???? I just can't keep going on without not knowing. We can't squeeze into that tiny apartment. I can handle it for a little while, but sooner or later, Lilly is going to want her own room and we are gonna want to put the baby in his own room. I want my clothes to go in a closet, I want Lilly to have her own dresser. I want the kids to have somewhere to put their toys. I feel so bad for Lilly cuz she has so many toys that she hasn't seen in a long time cuz they are all in the storage building. I wish there was something I could do to hurry up the process or whatever it is that is taking them so long. I think we just need to get our stuff together and go to another bank.

Friday, January 14, 2011

6 days 'til due date

I honestly thought I would have had the baby by now. I technically have 6 days til my due date, but I was having some odd pains there for a while.
Been real busy trying to get everything organized and clean and trying to get and keep everything caught up at work.
Lilly's had 2 snow days this week. I called off Wednesday due to the weather.
Nothing really to update about. Too tired to think, really. Haven't been getting any sleep, I'm just getting so anxious. I have another doc appt today. Last week felt like a wasted trip. All she did was check my blood pressure and the baby's heartbeat. She didn't check to see if I was dilated or anything. Hopefully she will check today so we'll get a better idea of how much longer I have left.
I have the car seat in my car....its just not buckled down. It came with a base that stays in the car so all we have to do is snap the seat into the base and then put the seatbelt on. The base attaches to the little bars that are between the seat cushions. That was one thing I looked for when I bought that car 6 years ago. I needed a car that had those bars. I know I looked at one car that didn't have them. I thought every car had them. The car seat will still sit in the seat with the seat belt, but the bars help keep the car seat more stable and not slide around.
My belly looks different today. I don't know what it is, but it just does. Maybe its popped out a little more or its a different shape...I don't know.
I did get to pre-register this week, but there's still a packet that I need to fill out before everything is a go. I found Lilly a 'I'm a big sister' shirt. I looked forever for one in her size. There were a lot, but most places only carried up to a size 6x. She hasn't been that size for years. Guess where I found one... in the hospital gift shop!
Ok... I'm yawning my head off now and its getting real hard to keep my eyes open. zzzzzzzzzzzz

Monday, January 10, 2011

10 days 'til due date

I've been trying to make room for baby these past couple weeks. No matter what I do, there's just not enough room.
Today...I feel....weird. I have this really weird pressure. Not like the pressure I've been feeling, this is different. My doc appt Friday was a waste of time. If I have another kid, I am not going back to this place. My due date is 10 days away and she didn't even check to see if I was dilated any. All she did was listen to the baby's heartbeat, take my blood pressure and let me go. I told her my feet have been really swollen and all she said was "They don't look too bad right now. Just drink more water." How can 'drink more water' be the answer to everything? I can NOT possibly drink more water. That's all I drink. I drink so much water, I'm sick of water. I get well over 64 ounces a day.
And it dawned on me last night that I'm not pre-registered. I need to get on that. Unless they did it when I went into Triage for falling. I guess I will call today and see what I need to do.
I filled out all my Thank You cards this weekend. I think I'm gonna wait a while before I send them. I dunno why, I just feel like it.
Time is coming to an end and then my belly will be empty but my arms will be full. I'm scared and excited all at the same time. Weather hasn't been very good lately and that scares me a lot.

Nothing much to report on. Baby's still in there. Taking everyday as easy as I possibly can without losing my job or upsetting Lilly. We're just sorta counting down the days now. I can't believe I only have 10 days until my due date. It seems like I haven't been pregnant very long. I do feel like I am more prepared for this one than I was with Lilly. When I was first pregnant with Lilly, I had nothing. I needed a place to live, I needed baby things, I needed a car and I needed a job. Slowly everything fell into place without the help of anyone...I did it all by myself. Except for my grandma buying Lilly's crib. With this one, it does ease my mind a bit knowing that I have help and that people have helped out so much. Although we have very very little room and haven't set up everything just yet, I am ready. We have everything we need to get started thanks to everyone. I just really didn't have the time or the energy to do it all by myself this time. And it really helps knowing that I have hubby by my side and I'll never go through this alone. With Lilly, that's all it was...just me and her. I won't trade any second of what me and Lilly went through, it brought us so close together, but I am blessed to have hubby this time around.

Friday, January 7, 2011

The Countdown Continues

I have a doc appt today at 2:40..... wonder what she's gonna say.

I finally have the baby's clothes all put away. I cleaned out all of my clothes from one of the dressers and the closet and put them in storage bins that fit under the bed. The baby got one small drawer in the dresser and one big one and a little bit of space in the closet. I hung all the 0-3 month clothes up and the rest went in the dresser. All his itty bitty socks, burp towels, hats, mits, and bibs are in the little dresser drawer. I love little baby socks. That's all I bought him for Christmas. 2 pair of really fuzzy blue socks, and a 3 pair set... one pair was just blue but the others said, "I love Mommy" and "I love Daddy." His blankets and hooded towels and wash clothes are all in a box at the moment. I haven't made it THAT far yet. I feel like I've been washing and cleaning and hiding everything forever. I finally got to the point where the Christmas stuff was all put away and then we had the baby shower. Most of the stuff went to hubby's mom's house. I'm gonna have to go over there and get some of the essentials.
I bought thank you cards yesterday.... 40 of em. Turns out I only really need like 25. I thought more people showed up than that. Sure felt like it. Sure looked like it. Oh, well.... everything turned out great.
I had a dream last night that we were in the hospital and I was in the bed holding little one. We still didn't have a name, so I looked down at him and asked him what his name is...ya know...sorta just thinking out loud. Well.... HE REPLIED!! Casey Adelphos!! (we have already marked Casey off the list cuz neither one of us like it and I have no idea where the middle name came from) And while he was telling me his name, I looked in his mouth and he had all of his teeth!! And they weren't normal teeth, they were ALL POINTY!!! After I saw his teeth and heard the name, I looked up at hubby, told him I was sorry and I woke up. Weird.
Feeling better today than I have in a long time. The only problem I'm having is lack of activity from the baby. I'm getting a bit worried. His activity level has gone way down. I don't feel him move that much. The only times I can really feel him like I use to is when I lay down at night to go to sleep. Most times he will move a lot then, but last night he only moved a little bit. I'm gonna have to ask the doc about that. (Yeah, as soon as I typed that I get a good kick.... trying to make me out as a liar, I see) One night, though, he kicked so hard to the right that it almost made me roll over from my back to my side. Not kidding.
My swelling is getting worse..... sucks big time.
Lilly is getting more and more excited about her brother. I just can't wait. I was putting into thought of another kid, even though hubby says we are done. I do want a bigger family, but after some thought, I'm not so sure now. I can't see myself doing things with another girl that I do or have done with Lilly. That's our stuff, that's what WE do, that's for me and her. And I think I will feel the same way with this one. Which makes me super happy that's its a boy. Does any of that make sense? Ok, imagine 2 of your closest friends of that are either both girls or both guys. Do you or would you do the exact same thing with one that you do with the other. Lets say you and girl A have a favorite store to shop in and go there every time you are together...would you take girl B there also? You and girl A have a hilarious inside joke, do you share it with girl B? You and boy A both like this one particular band, do you take boy B to their concert? Maybe its just me....

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Still here!

My feet and legs are sooooooooooo swollen. My ankles are sticking out past my shoe. I feel like a freaking whale. I remember going through this with Lilly, I couldn't even fit into my shoes. The place I worked at the moment made me come to work in my house shoes. Isn't that a safety hazzard or something? Doc appointment isn't until Friday. I may just be retaining water. I was reading something just now that said that if the swelling is sudden I should call my doc. Um.... it was sudden. I looked at my legs and feet when I hopped in the shower last night and I couldn't believe how big they were. I think I can wait until Friday to talk to my doc though. I just take this as a sign that we are really really close to the end. My hands are a bit swollen, but not too bad. I can still get my rings on and off, with a little bit more effort though.
I keep getting all kinds of energy late at night. I separated the baby's clothes into sizes last night...well... the ones that are washed. I was even standing in the kitchen at 11:00 doing the dishes! I just can't help but think of everything that still needs to be done and everything that needs to be cleaned and everything we need to make room for. I'm getting so excited and anxious and nervous and worried. My brain won't turn off.
My stomach feels like its on fire sometimes. Yeah, my heartburn has gotten worse, but that shouldn't cause my stomach to feel that way. I gotta remember to ask the doc about that. I guess I'm just at that point where I'm miserable. I feel gross, I look gross, I'm so tired, and I have all these emotions and thoughts running by me. Lilly was easy to deal with when she was born. It was just me and her. I didn't have to worry about anyone else, I didn't have to worry about needing extra room or who she's going to wake up. But now, I'm worried about the baby waking both Lilly and hubby in the middle of the night when they both have to get up really early the next day.
My work just threw me a surprise mini baby shower. It wasn't like the other baby showers here at work, but I basically had everything I needed and I don't really like all that attention. It was nice of them to think of me. Got a big box of diapers and one of those thermometers that all you have to do is run it across the baby's forehead. Love it!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Almost time for baby!

I've been trying to figure out just exactly where we are going to put this child once he arrives. It has been decided that he will sleep in the pack and play but we have no idea where we are going to put that. My original thought was to put it in the living room where the Christmas tree was, but after thinking about it, its not such a good idea. I'd have to get up and wake the baby up every morning to take him to the bedroom so hubby could get ready for work. I'd like for it to be at the foot of the bed, but then where would we put the Cedar chest? And I have no idea what to do with all the baby's clothes and such. There is no room in any of the dressers and we have no more room under the beds for a storage bin. I have tried to have this discussion with hubby so everything is planned out and done and we won't have to worry about it later, but he just does not want to talk about it. He keeps saying that we have plenty of time to worry about all that stuff. You wanna know the funny thing? Hubby doesn't think I will make it past this Friday. If he thinks I'm giving birth so early, then why can't we get the stuff ready for the baby. I can't even get him to decide on an outfit for us to take him home in.
I am dead tired. I wake up about 4 or 5 times a night just to eat a Tum, 4 or 5 more times to go pee, about 3 times to blow my nose and once or twice to cover Lilly back up, reposition her in her bed so she doesn't fall out or taking her a tissue. I use to go to bed promptly at 10:00 every night, but these past couple of weeks it hasn't happened. Every time I lay down, the baby is wide awake. Last night he started kicking and moving and was causing me a lot of pain and hubby kept asking me if it was time to go to the hospital. I kept telling him "no, its just the baby moving." And his response..." isn't that was causes contractions?" "No dear, the baby does not cause the contractions. It only hurts cuz he's pushing downward like he's digging his way out or something." "But that's a contraction. We need to get ready so I can take you." "No, that's not what a contraction is." I kept waiting for a contraction to pop up so he could feel what my belly feels like when I'm having one, but I didn't have one last night when hubby was near. I finally got the baby repositioned so his movements didn't hurt as bad and we went to bed. This is about midnight. The baby is still wide awake and kicking, but I can sleep through it as long as it doesn't hurt. I push my belly up against hubby's back and tell him its his turn to be kicked and I fall right to sleep. But I'm just so exhausted all day every day now. I can't get anything done at work. I don't get any kind of energy until about 8:00 at night and that's not every night.
I've also gained about 5 more pounds than I wanted to and its not over with yet. I'm going to have to watch the scales. I can blame it on the holidays, but I need to watch what I do and not gain any more.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Baby Shower

So.... its almost been a week since I posted anything. I'll try to make this short. Yep, still preggers. Nope, still no name. Baby shower was yesterday and it went well. Got just about everything I wanted. I was so excited over the baby monitors that hubby's aunt Merle got us, the car seat/stroller combo that his mom got us and the pack and play that his grandpa got-since the baby will be sleeping in the pack and play until we move. Still no word on the loan. I don't really expect to hear anything until next week, maybe, even though we turned all our stuff in 2 weeks ago. It was just too close to the holidays to really get an answer. All we have to do is wait now. Wait for the loan and wait for this baby to pop out.

Contractions are more often now. They only really hurt when I'm having one and he moves around or when I'm having one with a full bladder. I can tell when I'm having them and they cause more discomfort than anything else. There are certain ways that the baby moves that hurts too. Sometimes I swear it feels like he is digging his way out.

My bff got engaged!! I don't know if I posted that already or not, I'm just so happy for her.

Ok, just a little more on the baby shower. It wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Probably 30 people showed up. Hubby's sister and his mom were in charge of it all. They made blue punch. It was made out of Sprite and blue Hawaiian punch juice stuff. When they added the ice cream it looked like clouds.. so cute. They put a rubber duckie in there with a fire hat and some other things to float around in there. One of the games was for the guests to guess how big around my belly was. They each cut off a piece of yarn they thought was the right size. I was actually a little offended by how big some of these people thought I was. I'm not big at all. I'm all baby and he's a tiny one. Lilly's teacher had come and she measured her piece out by wrapping it around herself. I told everyone that she was going to be the one that wins.... and she did. Another game was to guess what baby food is in the diaper. Lilly thought that one was gross. Another game was that no one could say the word BABY... well... except for me and Lilly. Everyone was given a safety pin with a little flag on it when they got there and if anyone caught them saying BABY, they took their pin. Whoever had the most pins at the end of the shower won a prize.

My bff got me this one shirt that I wore to the baby shower. It has little thought bubbles coming up from my belly and the saying at the top of the shirt is hilarious. The only one at the shower that didn't find this funny was my grandma.
When we opened the gifts, I let Lilly open all of them. I sat there and she handed me everything. She'd open a bag, hold up something for everyone to see and then hand it to me. I explained what some of the things were to her like the diaper genie. I was really surprised at all the stuff we got. We got so much clothes, really cute clothes. No one bought the same things, which is always a good thing. Ok, well... there were the same diapers, but those are always welcome. Hubby's mom did buy an outfit that I had bought months ago, but I think they are different sizes. We even got 2 snow suits! We got another walker. My neighbor had given me one so I'm not sure which one I'm going to use. The only things we didn't get that I wanted was a bouncy seat and a car seat cover. I really wanted the cover so I didn't have to fool with a blanket, but I think I'm just going to go get that. Also got one of those sling baby carrier things where I can be holding the baby without actually holding him. I really wanted that, but that was when I thought my maternity leave was going to be spent unpacking in out new house. I could carry him around with me and get stuff done around the house. The cake was huge and really pretty. It didn't say anything about the baby being a boy though. It did have some blue on it so I guess that counts. All in all, it was a good time. Lilly had fun, we got some much needed things even if we don't have room for it yet and hubby seeing all the baby stuff got him all excited again.