Thursday, June 30, 2011

Feelin' the love

My **kids** are my world. My kids are my everything. My kids are my life. Without them, its hard to tell where I would be in life right now. If I hadn't gotten pregnant with Lilly when I did, I wouldn't have had to get that job at the gas station and I probably wouldn't have met hubby, since he was a frequent customer there. If it wasn't for my kids, my life wouldn't have as much smiles or laughter. If I hadn't gotten pregnant with Zach when I did, I probably would have jumped at any opportunity to get another job, and lost it by now. If it wasn't for my kids, I wouldn't be complete.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't hug and kiss both of them (unless Lilly's with her father, its kind of hard to do then). There isn't a moment in any given day that I don't think of them. I frequently scroll through past photos I've taken and I'm always taking new ones. I talk about them constantly and they are even in my dreams. I knew throughout my younger years that I wanted to be a mother and that I was going to be great at it, but I didn't realize that I would have such wonderful kids and love them this much.
I love their songs, their stories, their smiles, their laughs, their hugs, their kisses, even when they are whiney. Between my kids and my husband, I am one of the luckiest women in the world. Yes, there are times of frustration, but that's just life. I love and adore my family more than words could ever express.
I am also grateful and forever in debt to my best friend. Yes, my husband is also my best friend, but I'm talking about my bestest best girl-friend. The one who knows me better than I know myself. The one who I can talk with for hours about absolutely nothing. Lara on has been enlightening me on all kinds of national days, so I decided to look up National Best Friend Day.... and it turns out I have missed it. June 8 was the day. So, I wanna talk about my bff now. We met in first grade, but didn't really become friends until 7th grade when we both had a crush on the same guy. This girl knows me inside and out. She knows my secrets, my fears, my dreams.... she knows the REAL me and still loves me. We've been through so much together and we still stand strong. So, since I didn't give an awesome thing some day this week here's my second one for this post **best friends** Without them we'd be complaining to no one about our jobs or significant others. Without them we'd be shopping alone. Who else can we call up at 3 am just to talk? Who else would drive miles to see you? (ok...your mom doesn't count here) Now, we've had our fights and didn't talk for a while. We've been angry with each other and we still get on each others nerve every now and then. I can tell when I'm bugging her cuz she'll call me grouchy or something along those lines. Unfortunately my bff is hours away and we hardly get to see each other. I haven't seen her since February, but we talk almost everyday. Three cheers for best friends!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

To do list

So here's my 30 things I want to do before I turn 30.

Buy a house~Hopefully soon
Empty storage building and have yard sale ~After we buy a house
Organize photo albums~After we buy a house
Save $10,000
Get a new job/or great at my current job
Get a new car
Take up a new hobby
Make a Thanksgiving dinner
Drink a fancy wine
Get back to pre-Lilly weight
Get a new hairdo
Go to the beach
Ride a horse
Get a tattoo for Zach
Have 2 more people I consider close friends
Go to DC~Went in high school and would like to go back
Learn how use a sewing machine
Make both kids Halloween costumes by myself
Take kids to museum
Get more involved in Relay for Life
Volunteer for other things
Ride in a big boat with kids
Ride in an airplane for the first time
Go ice skating ~haven’t done this since I was 10
See Capitol Steps~Saw them in high school and again a year or two ago. So funny, I want to see them again.
Go to Disneyworld/land
Watch all 250 top movies from IMBD~ The list is here. The list changes, adding on current movies, but I'm going with what was on the list on my 25 birthday.
Ride in a train
Take kids camping~Lilly's been, but not Zach
Get closer with my family

So that's my list. Hopefully I'll get some stuff marked off. Aaannnndddd....that's my awesome thing of the day!! **Marking things off your list** Especially marking off the very last thing. Its not a very exciting list, but its a realistic one and things I really do want to do.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Lilly's back!

Got Lilly back yesterday after almost 2 weeks of her with her father. I was so happy to see her. She looked like she got taller, too. I picked her up at grandma's and we went to go get Zach and as soon as he saw her, he started laughing!! It was so good to have her back. We've all missed her. I got a cute video of the kids playing yesterday and another video of me playing peek-a-boo with Zach and him laughing his head off. Got Lilly some goggles and she wanted to try them on yesterday.
So, her fun week at the Y has come to a halt. The bus broke down. They still have a van, but its not big enough to fit all the kids in.
I was thinking yesterday...when I was a bit younger, I thought I was going to be the type of person that went to museums, art galleries and ballets. I've been to a few, but not as many as I would like. Oh, this reminds me that I didn't post my list of things that I want to do before I turn 30, on my birthday like I said I was going to do. I'll try to remember to do that tomorrow. Anyway... I guess I could put that on my list.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Sleep?? What's that?

Just finished reading The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks. It is the sequel to The Notebook. Of course if you've seen The Notebook movie and not read the book and then go to read The Wedding, you will be a bit confused. Noah died at the end of the movie, but he didn't in the book and is alive and kicking in the sequel. Such a great book. I was a little disappointed at how sudden the book came to an end, though. I've learned that most of Sparks book do this. The books have great detail and wonderful stories of love, but as soon as it reaches the exciting point in the book, its over.
I am now working on a book my second ex step dad got me for my bday. Its the 15 stories of OZ. It starts out with the Wonder Wizard Of Oz... like the movie. I've already read this story, I have the book, but I don't have the others. I'm very excited to read it. Even though I've already read the first one, I'm rereading it. It is completely different than the movie. I'm a big OZ fan.
Its difficult to find time to read these days, but I'm going to make it a priority now. Its going to me my daily **me time** that I desperately need. Even if its just 20 minutes of reading, its gonna help.
I took Friday off in hopes to get some rest. I didn't set my alarm, I just let Zach wake me up, knowing he'd get up before 7:00. We got up, I fed him his cereal and then we got ready and I took him to day care. I came home, ate some breakfast and hopped back into bed. Then, my phone rang and rang and rang. Everyone was calling and texting me. Hubby knew I was trying to get some sleep, but he texted me anyway. My mom called, Lilly called, my grandma called, my grandpa texted me, hubby's mom texted. I finally gave up after 2 hours and went to take a shower. My bff called while I was in the shower, but I didn't I missed her call. (I didn't want to turn my phone off in case someone REALLY needed me) I went to Walmart for some light shopping then went to pick Zach up. I was exhausted, but there was no point in trying to get any rest. Its like everyone knows that I'm in need of sleep and they don't want me to. I'm dragging today. I haven't slept much. I'm downing my coffee today.
Hubby went paint-balling with his nephew and a few friends. He came home with only a few marks on his leg.
Lilly is a bit sick today. Her father called me last night to tell me she's running a fever and I told him to take her to my grandma's this morning instead of day care. I'll probably leave early to get her.
Zach is scooting now. He's getting very mobile. He even gets up on his elbows and knees, but falls on his face after. We've got a 'game' where I put him at the foot of my bed and I lay at the top and he'll scoot his way up to me....and is almost always ready for nap when he makes it.
Here's a pic of Zach lookin at his hand.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Growing up

I use to want to be a lot of things growing up. I remember in the fifth grade, I wanted to be a professional ice skater, even though I had only been skating once. In middle school I wanted to be a psychologist, a storm chaser, a parapsychologist, a writer and a painter. I didn't start painting until high school, though. In high school I wanted to be a teacher, a pediatrician, a writer, a psychologist, a scientist, a photographer, and in an orchestra. I played the flute in middle school and was damn good at it, but I couldn't continue in high school cuz my mom wouldn't let me do after school practice. I had started writing in middle school and was great at that too. After much consideration, I decided to go to college to major in Education and Biology. I was ready. I was on my way to becoming a teacher... but then my scholarship wouldn't let me take a leave of absence to give birth to Lilly. They said that having a kid didn't count as medical leave.... UM....what? I fought it. Man, did I fight, but in the end, they won. So I dropped out after 2 semesters.
Going to college full time, having a full time job and being pregnant is very hard work..but I managed. I was on my way to having a career and a family. But it all came crashing down when I was told I couldn't continue with my scholarship. (I think they've changed the rules since then, too)
All my life I wanted to be a mom. I already knew I was great at it, taking care of all my little brothers and taking over the responsibility of the house at such a young age...I was a natural. So choosing my daughter over school was a very easy decision. I do wish I could have done both, even though it would have been hard. I don't know how I would have worked, went to school and spend time with my baby all at once. But, no matter what I wanted to do for a career for the rest of my life didn't compare to being a mother.
Now, I bring this up because I've been thinking about school a lot lately. I tried doing school through the mail and have become certified in day care and I tried doing it again to get an Associates degree in Criminal Justice, but that fell through. I've been thinking about going back to finish to become a teacher, but of course it'll have to wait a bit longer. I was thinking about waiting until Zach is in school and maybe work part time so I can go back to school. The place I work will let me take classes in Business and Finance, but that's not what I want to do. I still hold a love of writing and photography. OH, how I wish I could put my pics from my camera on here for you to see, but since this is a work computer, I use the pics from my phone. Back in middle school I started writing a book. I worked on it a bit in high school, but its still unfinished. I want to finish that and maybe do a book or two of poetry. I have so many poems. A couple of my poems have won contests and have been published and all that jazz.
I know I'm only 25 and I have a little bit of time to get to where I want to be, but I just wish I had some direction. I know I don't want to be doing what I'm doing now. I can't go back to school until the kids are older and I have some money saved up or hubby's making great money.
I don't know.... this has just been on my mind for quite a while now. I'd like to go back to school, but I'm still unsure for what. So far, teacher is the front runner. Either elementary or high school. 2nd, 5th, or high school Science or English teacher. I do still want to write books and take pictures, but those can be more of a hobby, I guess.
One of these days I'll figure it out.
Here's some random pics of Zach..... I call the first one "Worried Look, Bubble Chin"


Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Anniversary went great. We both got each other cards and then hubby went and bought us an ice cream maker. I'm so excited to try it out!! I haven't made ice cream since elementary school. He brought out the little kid in me last night when he showed me that.
I went out to the Blockbuster kiosk and rented I Am Number Four. Great movie! And the way it ended, there has to be a second one. The movie was much better than the previews lead you to believe.
When we went to bed and was laying there he said, "You know.... 3 years ago today, you were right there." I said..."Yeah... and you weren't" And he laughed. The night of our wedding, he left to go on a house fire. We had just went to bed and his pager went off. He was laying there listening to it. I finally told him to go. He argued a bit, but I knew he really wanted to go, so I basically kicked him out of bed and made him go. I stayed up half the night listening to the fire radio. Yep...that's how I spent my first night as a married woman. Oh, when we were out eating after the wedding (we went for Chinese cuz its my fav) his pager went off for a car fire close to where we were. I told him he could go. I got to watch him in action. It was the first time I ever saw him do anything like that. You should have seen his face when I told him he could go (to both the car fire and the house fire later that night). It was like a little kid was just told he could have any toy in the world he wanted.
Zach is teething. Oh, the joys of teething. When I dropped him off at day care, he was running a bit of a fever and had a runny nose. Yesterday he was very grumpy and slept a lot. I am not prepared for him to start teething. I might have to leave work early to go get him today.
Awesome thing for today **laughter** What ISN'T great about laughter?? Zach is full on laughing now and I love it so much. Yesterday I had him laying on the floor and all I was doing was slowly moving my face toward his face and he thought it was so funny. He was laughing and giggling!! Him laughing made me laugh. Contagious laughter. HA!!
Lilly called me yesterday at 7:00 in the morning to tell me she missed me and was crying. I got her calmed down after about half an hour and told her I'd call her back at noon. 8:30 she called me back to ask me if I was the only one with that phone number. 11:30 she called me back, but I was very busy and couldn't talk so I told her I'd call her at noon like I said I would. Noon I called her back and she told me she wanted me to call her when I got home so she could talk to Zach. About 2:00 I got another call from the same number, but it wasn't Lilly. It was her father's mom calling to see if I needed anything since my number was on the caller ID. 5:30 I called her at her father's house and she talked to Zach while she ate my phone. She seemed much better after talking to him. She's going to my grandma's house today while her father's at work. She's very excited about that. I'm very excited cuz I know she will be taken care of and will have fun there.
Oh, I forgot to say Happy Summer yesterday! Yesterday marked the first day of summer here. The temperature has been in the low 90's/high 80's which isn't too bad, but the humidity has been through the roof. So, in case you wonder out in the sun to have some fun, don't forget your sunscreen... and bug spray if you are anything like me. Drink lots of water... and reapply your sunscreen.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

3 YEARS!!!!

Just got off the phone with Lilly. She's spending the week with her father and his family and she called me this morning crying. I got her calmed down after half an hour. I told her I'd call her back at noon.
Today is my 3 year anniversary. I can't believe its only been 3 years. We've had our ups and downs and hit some major bumps in the road, but we are doing great! Yeah, he annoys me sometimes and I get frustrated at some things he does, but that's normal. I love him to death. My awesome thing of today is **husbands** Ok, I know you just made a weird face and you might think I'm crazy, but let me explain. I'm not talking about ALL husbands cuz I know some aren't worth anything and won't do a thing for his wife and his I'm excluding those kinds. I'm talking about the ones that does a bunch of little things for his wife. That holds doors open, gives her a hug when she needs some comfort, fixes her car, fixes dinner every now and then, lets her have the remote sometimes, talks to her about his day, rolls over in the middle of the night and puts his arm around her.... those kinds of guys.... or is my hubby the only one? No, he can't be.
He doesn't help out as much as I wish he would and sometimes he is just too glued to the tv or his phone, but he still does stuff. He always knows the right time to do things. I still get mad at him from time to time, but I get over it quickly.
Yesterday I was horribly upset over money. I came home crying cuz day care is trying to tell me I owe them more money than I do.... and I don't have the money. He knew enough to let me cry it out alone for while, then he came in and gave me a hug and asked if there was anything he could do. See.... just something as small as that means so much to me.
He's always supported me and stood by my side. Even when we first started dating and my great grandpa passed away. I thought it would be weird if he came to the funeral...but he insisted and I'm so glad he did. He was right there holding my hand the entire time and even ended up being a pallbearer. My grandma told me that she was so happy he came. We'd only been dating a couple of months.
The little things count. I think they are the things that count the most.
In preparation for my anniversary, I have put just a few of my wedding pictures up on flickr. Yeah.... some are just random pictures, but there's a few wedding pictures thrown in there. You'll get your first glance at hubby.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Father's Day weekend

Friday, I attempted to do the kids handprints in a mold..... never again. It was so messy and the stuff started to harden before I even finished molding it. Its all over the porch. It is cute though. I was running around trying to get everything cleaned up before hubby got home, it was crazy. I told Lilly that she gets a surprise for helping out with Zach so much. If she wouldn't have helped entertain him while I was getting things ready and cleaning, it would have never gotten done. Lilly painted hers like a rainbow....

Saturday, Lilly gave him his card from her, the shirt she picked out and both kids gave them their prints. He didn't really say anything about them......
Lilly had a game, her last t-ball game. The weather was nice, but it rained the entire time. No one really minded. I got some wonderful pics of her on my other camera. Zach stayed in his stroller under the umbrella. It wasn't raining hard. The coach was pitching to the kids and Lilly hit it every time! After the game we had a party and they handed out **trophies**. All the kids were so excited. Lilly went home with her father after that and I won't get her back until next Monday. Its his vacation time with her.
Found out Friday that hubby's grandpa was in the hospital for pneumonia and a kidney infection. By Saturday the infection had spread through his body. Saturday night we found out that hubby's uncle was in the hospital too. He has liver and colon cancer, found out Sunday while hubby was there visiting that its stage 4 cancer. I've never asked for this, but please pray for hubby's family.
Sunday, hubby's first Father's Day, Zach gave him his card and the shirt from him and the thing he made in day  care. Hubby wore his shirt. It said "New Dad 2011" I dropped him off at the hospital and went to visit my grandparents. I wanted to stay at the hospital with him, but Zach wasn't allowed in... that and I didn't need Zach getting pneumonia...
Pulled into my grandma's driveway and there was my dad's car. I didn't know he was in. So I surprised everyone with a visit from me and Zach. We only stayed a little while before we left to pick hubby up. We went to his dad's house to give him his stuff, but after about 5 minutes there his dad left to go out to eat with hubby's mom. We didn't want to go since we just ate, so we stayed at the house and waited for their return. We hung out there for a while before we went home.
Zach was being very whiney last night. I couldn't get him to go to sleep until after 11:00....and he got up twice last night.
3 year anniversary is tomorrow. I told hubby I didn't want to do anything and I didn't want him to buy me anything. We need to save money. As long as we spend the day together, that's fine with me. We tried watching the newest Harry Potter movie last night, but Zach was crying, so maybe that's what we can do for our anniversary.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Father's Day

Tonight I get to do the handprints/feetprints with the kids for hubby's Father's Day gifts. The plan is for Lilly to give him her shirt and her card and then both the kids give him the stepping stones and then on Sunday Zach will give him his card and shirt. Its going to be hard in the coming years since I'll never have Lilly on Father's Day. Hubby's been so good to Lilly and he's always been around. I'm hoping that when Lilly gets a bit older, she will realize this and tell him how great he is. I could tell him, but it would mean more coming from her.
Since Father's Day is just around the corner, this post is dedicated to **Dad's** and is my awesome thing for today. Now, there really isn't a father figure in my life that I'm very close to. My second ex step dad comes the closest to anything even resembling a father to me. I wish I could make it in to see him this weekend, but Lilly has a game and party on Saturday and then Sunday is hubby's first Father's Day, so I want to try to make it extra special for him. My dad, yea, I'll tell him Happy Father's Day and maybe even call him up. I have no idea where he is right now. He travels for work. I've never had a close relationship with him and its always awkward when we talk on the phone. Realizing this just now makes me very sad that I never got close to my dad.
I don't talk to my first step dad and I'd like to keep it that way. He's never seen my kids either. My second step dad, Jeff, is one of the greatest men in the world. He took all 6 of us under his arm and took care of us and he still does. One of these years, I'm going to get him a trophy or something. Not one of those dinky little things you can get at Walmart or something either. No, I want a big one with a man figure standing at the top of it, looking as proud as can be.
I've had 'dads' come and go. Maybe that's why I'm awkward around people......
Hubby is a wonderful father. He took care of Lilly when she was a baby and still does. He is so great with Zach. I love seeing him hold and play with him. I know that our kids mean the world to him and knowing that means the world to me.
So, here's to all the dads and fathers out there that kiss their kids goodnight and even gives them money when in need. Here's to all the step dads who have stepped in. Even if you take care of other's kids and don't have any of your own.... you are wonderful. Here's to all the grandpas that tell stories and help you sneak candy. You are loved. Happy Father's Day!!
And here's a reminder to give your pop a call, even if its just to say thanks or that you love him. I have a lot of calls to make on Sunday and I'm going to enjoy each of them.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

All about Zach

I thought I'd take this post to talk about Zach and how much he's grown and all the things he can do now. I know he's not even 5 months yet, he will be on Tuesday-which is my 3 year anniversary also. I was looking at some of his newborn pictures yesterday and just being amazed at how much his looks have changed already, and I didn't really notice. Just look at this.... he's 2 days old here.

And here's a one year old pic of Lilly just to compare how much he looks like her too. Not his newborn pic, what he looks like now compared to what she looked like years ago.
I apologize for the blurriness, I took pics of pics with my phone just now.
Lilly's face is rounder, but I think they look a lot alike. Zach also looks like hubby. A LOT.
He's found his feet. Oh, how he loves his feet. If he's having tummy time, he will roll over just to play with his feet. He hasn't got them in his mouth yet, but I know its coming.
He loves taking baths. He's always loved bath time, but now that he's able to splash and move around a bit more, he loves it that much more. After I'm done soaping him up and rinsing him off, I let him play. He giggles and splashes and smiles. Its great. Lilly never really liked baths as a baby, and I still have trouble out of her to take a shower.
He's eating baby food. His favorites are bananas and sweet potatoes. He does not like applesauce or green beans.
He is wearing 6-9 month clothes now. read right. My almost 5 month old is wearing 6 month clothes. I think Lilly was too at that age. After this group of clothes, I'm out of what everyone gave us. I'm going to have to start buying him bigger clothes before its time. He wasn't in 3-6 month clothes for very long. While I'm out shopping for him, Lilly needs new shoes before school starts. She only fits into one pair of shoes now. Out of the 10 pair she got last year, only one fits now.
He loves to give kisses. Its the best thing in the world. He grabs your face and goes to town, slobbering everywhere and sometimes sucking on your chin. Oh and he loves to get kisses too. He likes to get kisses right there between this jaw bone and his ear and on the bottom of his chin. He giggles. He also likes it when I 'chew' on his cheeks. That makes him giggle a lot. When he giggles, he brings his shoulder up and squishes his head down, so he doesn't have a neck. He hasn't started laughing yet. Just giggles, but its one of the best sounds in the world.
His favorite toys are those plastic rings. The Easter bunny brought him a lot of different colors. Some are smooth, some have bumps, some have softer plastic, some have rings...he loves them. They are easy for him to grab and easy to put in his mouth. Here's a pic that I found on in case you didn't know what they were.
He's happy and smiley 95% of the time. He is one of the most well behaved babies I've ever seen. Lilly was a good baby, too, but she was happy and smiley about 85% of the time. I blame that on my crazy work schedule when she was a baby... 
Zach is almost sleeping through the night. Lately, he's been rolling over in his sleep and gets mad. All I gotta do is roll him back over and he's fine. The last 2 nights I think he was having nightmares. He didn't wake up screaming like he use to, he was just making weird noise. All I have to do is pat him on the back and he's fine.  
Oh, what else could I tell you? He loves water and to give kisses. He's growing like a weed and very happy. There isn't much that displeases him. He likes the cold, like me. He gets hot very easily, like me. He looks good in every color I put on him and drools all the time. He's a big flirt with all the girls, doesn't matter your age..... like Dad. He can roll both ways and plays with his toes. He 'rotates' himself during tummy time. I'll put him on a blanket facing one way and he'll rotate until he's facing the opposite way. Noise doesn't bother him. He doesn't respond to him name yet. I'm wondering if he has hearing problems since loud noise doesn't bother him.
He blows raspberries now. Talk about drool....just add some air and its flying drool. Its adorable though. His babbles seem more serious too. He'll have this serious look on his face where he pulls his eyebrows down and babbles real slow sometimes. He's also growling. As soon as I put him in the tub last night, he growled at me. He gurgles and sighs and can talk forever. I wish I could post sound on here so you could here him. I'll have to look around to see if I can.
If I hold his hands above his head while he's standing, he'll take steps. Oh, yeah, he can stand now.... with a bit of support. All he needs is something to lean on and he's good. Sitting up is another story. He still slumps down and leans forward.
He loves it when I sing to him. His favorite so far is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. That's his bedtime song. I can't get him to sleep with any other song, just that one.
He's already a momma's boy. I hate to give him that label, but he is. Sometimes he cries while Dad's holding him just for me to come hold him. As soon as I take him, he stops crying. It upsets Dad a bit and I wish Zach wouldn't do that. I've tried not going to him, but when he's screaming and crying for half an hour, its time for me to get in there. I know Dad is going crazy from the crying in his ears. He hates hearing him cry. He can't handle it for very long.
I'm not sure what else to add. He's social, healthy, happy and a ton of fun. Oh, and my awesome thing for today is, what else, **babies**

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Naps are so great

Left work at noon yesterday. I just didn't really have any energy to do anything and was just wasting my time and the company's money by sitting here. I went home and took a nap. Sent hubby a text telling him I was going home to nap, he calls me at 3:00 to ask me some random question that could have waited. Then he comes in the door on his phone talking soooo loud. After waking me up and stomping through the house and yelling on the phone, he goes outside, but he's so loud I can still here him. I lay there. I finally drift back to sleep and wake up 20 minutes later. He's off the phone and I was kind of expecting him to go get the kids, but he watched tv. So I got up, still so incredibly exhausted and left to get the kids. I got home, fed Lilly and hubby and Zach took a nap on the couch! I think we were all just having an off day. Today will be better. Oh, and my awesome thing for today is **naps** I know that naps are already on the list on but its so awesome, I'm putting it on here too. I know I didn't have an awesome thing for my post on yesterday, so I'll throw in another for today **gag gifts**  I see where I didn't go into detail about my bday presents. Ok, well... my gift from Zach was melted chocolate wrapped in a diaper. We all got a good laugh out of that one. And my big gifts....hubby put them in a diaper box and then wrapped them in duct tape and then wrapped them in wrapping paper. Wrapping gifts in duct tape is a big thing in my family and it was great to see hubby getting into it.
Lilly had a ball game at 7. She did good, but you could tell she was tired. She went to a water park yesterday with day care and today she's going to the movies and then to a pool. Its gonna be a big day for her. Here's some pics from her game yesterday. There's a game on Thursday, but its at 8:00 at night, so we aren't going to that one...that's just too late. Her last game is Saturday and after the game the coach is having a pizza party for them and giving out trophies.
She looks like she's tipping over
Getting ready to catch the ball
Look at the kid that just made it to second base.
Its like he's saying "YES, I made it!"
I'm not so sure what she's doing here, getting ready to run after a ball I think.

Throwing the ball
Lilly running to first base after hitting the ball without the tee

There's nothing on my calendar for today, so hopefully it'll be a nice peaceful day.
I've been thinking about getting a new hair style since I've had the same one since the beginning of time. I did try the side bangs 'do, but that only lasted 6 months. That hair style made me look 10 years older. I hated it. I have no idea what else to do. I just need something to do with my bangs. I could let them grow out, but then I'd have that awkward stage where they are too long to be bangs, but too short to be anything else. I don't know.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Just not into it today

Birthday was ok. Hubby tried hard. I was just in a weird mood and very tired. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and be left alone so I could sleep. I got home with the kids, he had filled up Lilly's pool for her to play in and wrapped my stuff-after calling me asking where the wrapping paper was. He got a card from each kid and one from him. I got Barbie brand Wizard of Oz dolls- a Dorothy and the Wicked Witch. I love Wizard of Oz, EVERYONE knows this. I have so much Oz stuff. I told Lilly that when she gets older, she's getting all of it. I guess that will be something I will over to her. I know a lot of it will be worth lots of money one day. He got me an ice cream cake and we ordered pizza. I gave Zach a bath and played with Lilly. I was so tired by the time I had the time to go to bed. I'm still so tired today. I didn't sleep well, but Zach only woke up once. He didn't roll over in his sleep last night. I guess he was wore out too.
So here at work I am now the assistant of 2 people. My first boss, love her to death, I do work... like filing and transactions and whatnot. The other one, the big boss guy, I do little errands for. Just basically whatever he asks me to do. I've been ordering him stuff, getting meetings organized, stuff like that... and I haven't seen a pay raise yet. I don't get paid 'til tonight, but he hasn't talked to me about a raise yet. I'm thinking that maybe he's waiting to see how I'm going to do with the meeting coming up on the 21. At least that's what I'm hoping. I can't live off the money I'm making now. Not with 2 kids, 2 bills for daycare and us trying to get a house.... and paying for healthcare. Yeah, having health insurance has helped us out, a lot, but I just wish it didn't cost so damn much. I'm hoping that my raise I'm hoping to get at least covers the amount I'm paying for the insurance. That way I'd be back to bringing home what I was a few months back.
Not really feeling it today. Lack of sleep sucks big time. I really wanted to call off today, but I had some files to pull since I didn't do them yesterday. Yesterday just sort of got away from me. I didn't really do much. I did my morning work, my mail run, went out and got some Subway, read the news, helped some people out, filled out some forms for the big boss guy... and it was time to go home.
Hubby's suppose to be going out this week to Ohio to get some fireworks and while he's gone I'm going to get the kids to make his Father's Day gift. Its about a 2 hour drive and he'll be in the store a minimum of an hour, and they'll probably stop somewhere to eat something.... so by the time I get home with the kids, I should have plenty of time to do it and let it dry. I just hope that Zach cooperates and his handprint doesn't come out as a smudge. Hubby tried to get Zach's handprint on my card from him, and he screamed and cried. I was outside while he was doing it, but I heard him crying. I never had that much trouble of him to do it.
So, Friday at 3:00 I went to K-Mart and spent a little over $18. Saturday I went to the store and got gas for $45 and groceries for nearly $120. Yesterday I made a deposit of $270 before 5:00. Well.... today... I have 3 overdraft fees because the bank didn't put my deposit in yet. And the way they did my debits is just wrong. They went from high to low even though the lowest amount should have came first cuz it was on a Friday. I'm very upset about this. If they would have taken the money out in the order I did the transactions, I would only have 1 overdraft fee, not counting my deposit. If they would have put my deposit through, I would be just fine! I do get paid tonight, but its already going to be gone. Mailed out a medical bill of almost $500 and gotta pay day care for a week for both kids. And hubby thinks we can afford a house......

Monday, June 13, 2011

My birthday!

Happy birthday to me.... IS it a happy birthday? I don't know. Its too early to tell. Didn't sleep last night. Zach rolls over a lot now and he does it in his sleep and wakes up on his back mad. I was up about every hour, rolling him back over. I really should have taken today off. I'm wore out.
Friday was great. Relay went great. Zach was great. Everything was great. I was a little upset because I invited a lot of people and none showed up. Ok, one guy I use to go to school with and his gf showed up and hubby came a few hours late. Here's some pics from Relay

It really was a lot of fun, but I kinda noticed how.... boring (?) it could be for someone that isn't involved or anything. I watched my friend and his gf be bored out of their minds for an hour before they headed out. There really isn't much to do unless you are a part of it all. Its kinda like a big party with a bunch of games and events, but if you're not doing any of them or anything, you're just sort of walking around. I am super glad they came, I just wish they could have stayed for the candle ceremony. It was nice to see him and meet his gf.
We stayed until 11:00 and went home. Zach cried all the way home. NO, not cried, he screamed. As good as he was at Relay, he let it all out on the ride home.
Saturday was the open house at the fire station. I didn't have to stand out in the road this year to collect donations. I had Zach with me. He was good there too. We walked over half an hour after it started and hung out in the fire station for a bit talking to a few guys and getting the names of the new guys. Zach and me both were getting hungry so we went to the fire station's community building for the hot dog sale. It was nice and air conditioned in there. Zach ate a bit, I grabbed a bbq and then the other people started to pour in. A family friend and her family, hubby's sister and her kids... they came and sat with me and Zach. We visited for a bit and I took Zach out to go find hubby. He was busy. They had their stations they needed to be at. (kinda glad I wasn't a part of that this would have been hard to juggle all of it with Zach) There was the people in the road collecting donations, some upstairs counting the money, some in the community building helping serve food, some out at a car tearing it apart, some were in the hanger to give tours and answer questions, and some were on the tanker truck spraying water for the kids to play in.
I stayed for a few hours and headed out to the store..... and spent more money than I had intended.
OH, hubby's mom got Zach a pair of sunglasses. Heres some pics.
I get Lilly back today. Her father said that her sunburn is tanning and not peeling which is great. This week is water week at the Y and I hope they remember her sunscreen.... and to reapply it! 
So my day has just began, I've had 3 people tell me happy birthday-my bff, hubby and my uncle. I still don't really like celebrating my bday, but I'm glad I'm alive and well enough to have one. That's where my awesome thing of the day comes in **birthdays** I'm not expecting anything special today. I'm not really expecting anything at all today. I am going to go get myself some birthday lunch. I don't know where yet. Hubby said he got me something, I don't really want anything...or need anything. I would like to go look at some houses today for my birthday. That would be great. We got pre-approved for a mortgage loan last month, and haven't looked or even called about a house since. I've tried to get him to get some numbers and call, but he hasn't. I wanted to go look at some houses yesterday, cuz there's this one that we are kind of interested in... but we didn't. I was stuck in the house ALL day yesterday. I kept trying to get Zach to go for a walk. We got up early, but by the time I had a shower and he had a bath and breakfast, it was too hot to go. By the time it had cooled down enough to go, he was grouchy. I did get to go out on the porch during one of his half an hour naps and read a few pages in my book. I've been trying to read The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks since February, but I just haven't had the time.
Well... happy birthday to me!! I'm 25. I can't believe I'm halfway to 50. When I'm 50, hubby will be 59, Lilly will be 31 and Zach will be 25!! Zach will be my age when I'm 50. He'll be half my age. Lilly will be half my age when I'm 36, she'll be 18. Wow!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Nothing to really say. Relay is today.
Here's a cute pic of Zach with his thumb in his pacifier. That's how he uses it now. So funny.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Its soooooooooo hot

The weather has been HOT and HUMID these past couple of days- a little bit of rain here and there and a nice little storm that wasn't as bad as what everyone was saying it was going to be.
Relay is tomorrow. I think I got my grandma talked into coming for a bit and Lilly's father is going to drop by with her during kid's corner. I'm still unsure if hubby is coming. He says he is, but he's got something at the fire station to do, so I doubt he'll be there.
Summer camp has been fun for Lilly so far. She's sunburnt on her face and the tops of her feet. I have taken the Avon bug guard sunscreen that starts out blue, but turns clear once its rubbed in, but she still gets burnt. She knows the places she burns the most and she's usually really good at getting it on, but she's been slacking. I think she just gets in a hurry cuz she wants to go outside and play. I have two awesome things today.... when used properly and when actually put on **sunscreen** especially the kind with the bug guard in it since the bugs love me and Lilly both and my second awesome thing is **aloe** Yes, whenever the sunscreen is forgotten, aloe comes in handy. I had to use some last night on the tops of her feet. She just burns so easily. I burn easily on my face, right around my eyes and my nose. I use to burn on the tops of my arms and my shoulders, but this year they just tanned.
I hate these words, "Shut up" and I use to refuse to use them, but lately, it seems like its the only way I can get my point across to Lilly. I have tried every other way I can think of, but those two words are what works and I hate it. This morning she kept going on and on about stuff not being fair. "Zach gets to sleep whenever he wants. Zach gets to eat whenever he wants. Zach doesn't have to pick up his toys." On and on and on and on, and so early in the morning. I tried telling her that he is a baby, she did the exact same things when she was a baby, so it is fair. I told her that he can't take care of himself or even walk yet to pick up his toys. He is little. His stomach is smaller and he needs food more often. But she just kept on and on, finally I just told her to shut up. I felt so bad after I did it. "You help Zach get ready in the mornings, but you won't help me anymore" (sigh) I do still help her, I brush her hair and when she's having problems with her shoes, I help her out. I just don't sit there and dress her anymore. She's 6 years old and fully capable. I try telling her this, but she won't listen. I know she's just jealous and feeling left out and misses all my attention being on her, so I try not to get mad.
So I guess I'm the assistant of two people now. The big boss guy asked me if I would be willing to help him out and do stuff for him whenever he needs. I told him that it would be fine. So far, in just these two days, I am organizing a lunch for a meeting, ordering a Blackberry for the boss guy, having a computer put in the empty office........ its the kind of stuff I've been wanting to do. I like doing these little things, running stupid little errands. Is it weird that I'm more comfortable being someone's assistant like this than I am being someone's assistant where I actually do some work (input, filing and such) and have a great opportunity to move up?
Relay is tomorrow!!!! I've been making my list of things to take-drinks, sunscreen, pack the diaper bag... stuff like that. I have got to remember to charge the camera tonight. So far I have raised $355 and I'm expecting a bit more. My grandparents said they would donate.
I was playing hide and seek with Lilly last night. Give her something to do while I was trying to feed Zach, he was a little fussy... I think its teething time. Hubby got a bit frustrated with all the crying and passed Zach on to me. Anyway.... Lilly hid in the bedroom closet. She always yells "READY" when she's done. We've told her not to do that cuz then we know where she is, but she does it anyway... hubby heard where she was hiding so he casually went in the bedroom. He came back out and told me that Lilly had sat on my birthday present and broke it. I still have no idea what it is. I didn't want to go in the closet, so I just told Lilly she hid so good that we give up and she can come out now. She got upset. So......... I made her a S'more in the microwave. Not as good as a roasted marshmallow, but it cheered her up. I don't know what my gift was, but it can be taken back and replaced. I told hubby I didn't really want anything. I think I'm going to tell people to just make a donation to Relay instead of buying me things from now on. I don't need anything. I don't want anything. I'm pretty content with the things I have.
Here's a sleeping picture of Zach... you see that on his onsie? Its an octopus. HA!! Remember that Lilly wanted to name the baby Octopus if it was a boy?? Well, I've been searching for some octopus clothes and found one at Walmart and on at a yard sale.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

School's over

Oh how time does fly. My little kindergartener is a camper now and in just a couple months she'll be a first grader!! Here's my awesome thing from yesterday **the last day of school** I remember being excited on the last day of school. I remember not doing anything, but hanging out and watching movies on the last day of school. Lilly's class had a birthday party for the kids who have birthdays during the summer then she had a water party at the Y. Today is the first day of summer camp. 
I had to leave work a bit early yesterday cuz Zach was sorta sick. Day care called me at 10 and said he won't stop crying and to give them ideas. I told them that he is uncomfortable cuz his allergies are kicked into high gear and he's tired. At noon they called me back to come get him. I got there and he was just laying there on a pillow looking at his hands. The teacher said, "I knew he'd make me out to be a liar!" I laughed. We went home, I gave him a bottle, some medicine and he slept for 4 hours.  
Came into work today and saw that I had an email from the big boss man at 2:50 to come see him. I was gone. I sent him back an email this morning. Cross your fingers for me that its something good and that I'm not going to get yelled at for something.
Why do guys act like they are dying when they are the slightest bit sick?? Hubby's allergies are hitting him and OMG, you'd think someone beat him up. He couldn't/wouldn't even sit up and give Zach his pacifier while I was cooking and filling up Lilly's pool. Reminds me of that Dayquil commercial where the guy is on the couch with a cold and calls for his girlfriend/wife to come hand him the remote and instead she hands him a box of Dayquil and the voice over says something like, "Dayquil even handles the man cold." That commercial is so true. Its like the world stops when a man is sick. You know, if I did what he does when I feel bad, the house would fall apart. I told him last night that now he knows how I felt a few months ago when I was pregnant and couldn't breathe and felt like crap, but couldn't take anything and he was making fun of me. And he said...get this... he said, "You didn't feel THIS bad." I said, "Bull! I felt like I was hit by a truck and someone was suffocating me while I was flying into the sun." "No, you could still get up and move around." "Dear...I had no choice. I don't get to lay around when I'm sick. I still have things to do. I'd love it if I could lounge on the couch when I have a headache or be able to stay in bed when my head is stuffy or be waited on hand and foot when I have a fever... like you do... but I can't. Nothing will get done. Remember when I just got home from the hospital and I couldn't walk very well and was in horrible pain... well... what did I do? I didn't lay there, I continued with the day. I took care of the baby and you and Lilly and no one took care of me. I tell you sometimes when I feel bad and all I want to do is rest, but you do nothing." And guess what he did.............. he got mad. (ok, so I can't really quote that big rant cuz I'm sure some words were different, but that's basically the gist of it.) I'm sorry men... I really am. I know how you feel when you are sick, but do you know how your lady feels when she is sick. Just like you, maybe worse. We're just not as dramatic as you are and we know that things need to get done. I'm sorry, but you're not 5 anymore.
(deep breathe) ok, I'm sorry for that rant. I just had to say it. Here's a friendly reminder to go to Its not fully functional yet, but you could go check it out. Pre-register for it. Sign up. Its all free. When its up and running completely, you will be able to leave massages for loved ones and they will get these messages when you pass on. I know you can do it in email form, but I also believe that video will be an option too. When you pre-register for it, you will get an email about a week before its fully functional telling you that its almost time. I think its a great idea.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Found something new

Found this new site that might interest some of you.
Its just in its beginning stages, but you can go there and read all about it and pre-register. Its a site where you can leave messages for loved ones after your passing. Go check it out. I'll post on here when its up and fully functional.

Fishing and parties

Friday we went out to eat with hubby's parents. We went to a little family dinner. Ya know, the food might have been a little pricey, but I can't remember the last time I was full from food at a restaurant. It was good food. I let Lilly order for me and she got the Chicken Parmesan. Sooo goooood. Zach slept long enough for us to eat. Hubby and his dad got a 9 oz steak smothered in onions. It looked real good.
Saturday we went to hubby's uncles camp. Lilly has been dying to go fishing, so we went up there. He has a nice little pond there with a dock and everything. Its a bit away from the house and we usually get there on the 4-wheeler, but we took hubby's cousin's truck there. My car wouldn't have made it. Lilly caught 3 fish!! It was one of those time I wish I would have taken my camera, but we left it at home. So that's one of my awesome things of this weekend. **Catching a fish** She even caught one before hubby did. I didn't fish, I was tending to Zach. He got to see his first fish. Lilly had lots of fun and Zach was good for the most part. His allergies started to kick in real bad this weekend. He has been coughing and wheezing and yesterday his nose started running. I've been giving him medicine and using the vaporizer at night and its been helping a bit. While we were at the camp, he was fine as long as he was outside.
Sunday we went to a birthday party. It was at one of those places with the inflatables indoors. I'm so glad it was indoors. The kids were running and playing so hard they were hot as it was, I couldn't have imagined how they'd do outside. It was hot and humid this weekend. So here's my next awesome thing **Air conditioning** After years of living without it, my last years in high school and the first year I moved out on my own, and then getting air conditioning....I'd never go back to not having it. Here's a few pics I got. One of Lilly and one of the birthday girl. I couldn't get any good pics with my phone, they were moving so fast and were blurry. I did get some really great pics on hubby's sister's camera.

After the bday party, we went out to eat at Friday's with hubby's cousin, his wife and their kid. Zach was so tired, all he did was cry and fuss. I had hubby order my food for me while I was tending to Zach, and it was kinda gross. He got the Chicken Piccata Pasta for me and it tasted like vinegar. I had to keep taking Zach outside cuz that's the only place he would stop crying. We got home and I took him and Lilly for a walk and then when we got home, Zach took a bottle and crashed.
Today is Lilly's last day of school. She is so excited. The YMCA is having a water party today after school, so that's exciting too. My little girl is growing up, moving on the first grade. I can't believe it. I don't think they are going to do much today.
I'm going to try to get the kids hand and feet prints tonight while hubby's at his meeting. I might just do Lilly's and try to get Zach's this weekend in the morning. He's always more cooperative in the morning. Took Lilly to Wal mart on Saturday and we picked out 2 shirts for hubby for Father's Day. Lilly got him one that says "Greatest Dad' and I got one from Zach that says, "New Dad 2011" So Saturday before Father's Day while we have Lilly we are probably going to give him the stepping stones and then Sunday ON Father's Day me and Zach will give him the shirts while Lilly's gone. Lilly will be gone for a week. That's usually the week I take vacation since its our anniversary, but I'm not this year. Hubby can't so I won't. I was thinking about taking our anniversary off, though. Hubby's sister is wanting to take the kids to the little theme park we have nearby sometime this month, but I told her it depends on what the Y is doing that day. I'm paying that much money for Lilly to go and I don't want her to miss anything fun. I know the week hubby's sister is wanting to go is the week the Y is doing a carnival and pony rides.
I can't recall who it was on but one of the commenters had a link on their name to their blog and it gave me an idea. Here's their blog I wrote hubby an email telling him how lucky I was to have him and gave him a small list of thank you's for some little things he does for me. I don't know if he's read it yet or not, but my guess is that he did. He didn't say anything about it, but he was helping me out more this weekend. It was nice to have that little bit of extra help. All of this is just helping me on my journey to lose my depression. It seems to be working, writing hubby a little note and making it a point to find at least one awesome thing a day.... I think its working. I did have a good weekend, but it caught up with me on Sunday for a bit.
Oh and I don't know if I mentioned it yet or not, but the house that was my first pick is sold now. It is still empty and that's what we were going by, but the guy that bought it lives in Delaware or something and he's still trying to sell that house and can't move in to the new house yet.
Relay is Friday!!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Play Ball!!!

Lilly had a game yesterday. The schedule I had said it was at 7:15, but the one her father had said it started at 6:00. I was just getting Lilly ready when it was almost 6:00 and her father sent me a text asking where I was. Apparently, other parents had the same schedule that said 6:00. (they were all looking at an old one. The coach handed out a new schedule a while back) So I was freaking out thinking I was looking at the wrong one so I rushed to get the kids ready and out the door. Hubby had some meeting to go to, so he wasn't there to help. I get on the road on my way and I call the coach and he says that it is at 7:15, he knows some parents are there and he's on his way and he'll just let whoever is there practice a bit. I get there with the kids around 6:15 and we go down to the field and I don't see her father anywhere. I play with Zach and watch Lilly play with the other kids while waiting on the coach. Around 6:30 her father comes to the field with his girlfriend and Lilly's sister. He says that he was at the field, but went back to the truck. I know he saw us get there from where he was parked. He said that he couldn't stay cuz they had furniture to go pick up at a store. They were going to stay if the game was at 6:00. I told him he had plenty of time to get there and get back before the game, but he argued about that for 20 minutes and then left.
Lilly did really well. She has learned how to throw the ball far, but she needs to work on her aim. She was catching the balls and running fast, but her attitude on the field needs to change. I don't know if she's over-confident or what, but she is kind of mean to the other players, very loud and just not herself. We need to have a little talk about that if she wants to continue to play next year.
I get the kids home around 9:00, feed Lilly again while giving Zach a bath, Lilly took a shower while I fed Zach and packed diaper bags and backpacks. Zach did tummy time while I got Lilly ready for bed. It was 10:00 before I got her to bed. That's about the time hubby came home.
Relay is next week. I am so excited! I haven't raised as much money as I had hoped, but I did reach my goal. I'll make sure I take lots of pics and post them on here. I need to tell Lilly's father cuz he has her that weekend and I want her to be there, even if its for a little bit. She remembers it from last year and wants to go. I'm glad I got her interested in this at such an early age.
So in an attempt to keep my mood up I'm going to follow the advice of an awesome man. Neil Pasricha, I am going to find one awesome thing about my day and post on here. The 1000awesomethings blog does cheer me up and have me looking for small joys in life, but I need to go a step further. I'm going to try to overcome my depression myself, hopefully I'll get some progress. I did look up some psychologists yesterday and found 2 not far from my house, but distance isn't the problem. They have to be good and they have to be super cheap. Those two things don't really go together. Anyway... My awesome thing from yesterday is ***watching your kid play sports and seeing how much fun they are having***  Lilly really loves playing ball. Besides from her new attitude, she is having so much fun and is getting really good at it. She's made new friends and learned a lot. She gets to run off her energy and play. I love seeing that big smile on her face when she hits the ball far or catches the ball. Here is her ball pic.

Oh and has everyone seen the video of that guy that dropped his kid to catch a baseball.... but he missed it anyway??? Wow!! Dropped his kid. To catch a ball. Really??

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Maybe tomorrow will be better

Hubby's birthday didn't go as well as I had hoped. I guess he really doesn't like his birthdays, he always acts...weird. I kinda feel bad about his gift too. He was expecting a game system cuz that is what it kind of looked like, wrapped up like it was. I am planning on getting him either a PS3 or an Xbox for Christmas this year, but that's Christmas. I always try to make Christmas way bigger than birthdays. I got him a blu-ray player for his birthday. We have no where to put it right now. I got him 2 movies.... he didn't seem to care. I kept trying to figure out what to do for his dinner, but it was hard to do. He wouldn't tell me what he wanted and he went to a wake of an old church friend. I tried to make his day great, but I couldn't. I should have planned something to do this weekend. Maybe I'll try to do something for him Saturday before his niece's dance recital. Next year I'll have to do something real big cuz he'll be turning 35.
My birthday is on a Monday this year and he has his meetings at the fire station on Mondays. I don't want anything and don't expect much. It'd be nice to just hang out as a family. Rent a movie or something and get some pizza maybe. Our anniversary is also in a couple weeks. I told him not to buy anything. We'll just be together that day. Its on a Tuesday this year. Maybe send the kids somewhere and we can have a date night alone. I haven't been to the movie theater in forever, so that would be nice.
I forgot Lilly's ball picture. I have written a note to get it for tomorrow. Here's a pic of my babies I took yesterday. Note the wet pillow where Zach drooled. I got some good pictures of them on my other camera. There's one that looks like this one and another where they are looking at each other. I love it!
So, I think next time I go to the doctor I'm going to ask about postpartum depression. I believe I have it. Either that or just plain ol' regular depression. I hope I'm not bipolar. Mom is. I have just been feeling really different lately, not like myself. I don't enjoy doing anything anymore. I don't like being around people anymore. If something goes slightly wrong I blame myself and feel like I've let everyone down. I'm so tired all the time and have no energy to do anything, although that could just be lack of sleep. I can't sleep, even when Zach doesn't wake up, I do. I'm restless at night. I get up, check on the kids, walk around the house for a bit and go back to bed. I do this about 4 or 5 times a night. I just.... I just want to feel like myself again. Even if I just have someone to talk to, that would be better. This blog helps me out a bit. I get to express myself and say what's on my mind, but I don't let everything out. I need to be able to vent and talk and have someone just listen. I want to be able to talk about my problems without making someone else mad or sad or having someone change the subject on me or having someone try to make everything about them or being told, "I told you so," or anything like that. I just need someone to talk to and for them to listen without judging. I want to go to a professional...... but I can't afford it.
Found out yesterday that the house that was our first choice is indeed sold. So that's out. We'll keep looking.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Keeping busy

So this weekend was pretty busy. I'll try not to bore you with so many details.
Lilly had a game Friday and then she went home with her father. Me, hubby and Zach took off to hubby's uncles "camp" for the night. Zach did really good there. He slept fine and was happy the whole time. We had a cookout Saturday and then we headed home. Sunday we got up early to go 4-wheeling. Hubby's mom watched Zach for a while then she passed him on to hubby's sister. We rode from 9:30 in the morning to 4:00. It was ok. The people we went with was really annoying. We didn't go with our usual group, but there were some from our group there. The new people.... I didn't really care much for them. I don't want to ride with them again.
Monday, hubby had to work until noon so I took Zach out to get hubby's bday present then after hubby got home we went for a cookout at his sister's house. I started Zach out on fruit Monday.... bananas. Oh, does he love his bananas!! He even got in the pool for a bit... until he spit up his bananas in it, then everyone got out. It was just a little kiddie pool.
Yesterday I took the day off to clean. I got up at my usual time and took Zach to the Y. Lilly was still with her father cuz I let him keep her an extra day. I'm nice like that sometimes. I cleaned from 6:30 until 3:30. I worked 3 1/2 hours on the living room alone. I cut my pinkie on some glass from a picture frame and cut my palm on something but don't know what. I sneezed my head off from all the dust. I can't remember the last time I dusted. Sad I know. I did take a 10 minute break to take canned food and an extra pair of clothes to school for Lilly. The school is doing a canned food drive and yesterday was Lilly's field day and they had some water stations, so I took her some clothes. After that, I went back to cleaning. The apartment looks so nice now. I can't recall the last time it was this clean. I didn't have time to do much with the kitchen, I did get the table cleaned off and the floor swept, but I didn't get to do the dishes.
I was really wanting to get some sleep yesterday. My original plan was to come back home after dropping Zach off and go back to bed for a bit, but I didn't get to. There was just too much to do.
Lilly had a game yesterday, too. She did so great. She is getting so much better and is having so much fun doing it. I did feel really bad for her cuz it was so hot, but she didn't seem to mind. She complained a bit before the game and I told her, "The faster you run, the more wind you make." And I guess that helped her cuz she didn't complain a bit after I told her that. Me and hubby took water bottles for the team in case someone didn't have one and one parent gave out popsicles after the game.
Today is hubby's birthday. He's 34 today. I asked him yesterday if he wants to go out for dinner or if he wants me to cook for him and all he says is, "I don't know." I asked him what his favorite food is so I can cook it for him (I felt bad cuz I should know what his fav food is, but I don't) and all he said was, "I don't know." I have no idea what to do for him. If I'm going to cook, then I gotta wash dishes. If we're going out, then I need to know where. I'd hate to pick a place and him not like it or be in the mood for that kind of food. I was thinking Mexican food, but I don't know.
Here's cute pic of Zach I got while we were at the camp. Tomorrow I'll post Lilly's ball picture.