Friday, March 30, 2012


I have officially lost my voice. I'm full of whispers and strained coughs today. Its so frustrating to not be able to talk. Do you know how difficult it is to get 2 kids ready in the morning when they can't hear you whisper at them? Zach was running around all crazy, throwing stuff in the floor and yelling. I don't know what his deal was this morning. It was like he was saying, "I can't hear you tell me NO, so it must be ok to do this." Needless to say, it was a crazy, hair-pulling, arms waving, finger-snapping morning. No, I wasn't dancing...waving my arms and snapping my fingers....that's the only way I can get them to look at me so I can shake my head at them.
My awesome thing actually comes from today, even though it hasn't happened yet. **Fundraisers** I'm having a 31 representative come to work today so we can buy her stuff. 20% of her sales will go toward our Relay goal. I've already got some orders from some of my clients. I hope the party goes well today. I handed out fliers to almost every floor in this 12 story building. I posted a filer in the main break room and at the hidden elevator. Last year we sold a little over $300 worth of 31 merchandise and I got $75 toward my Relay goal. I'm hoping to do more this year. I'm buying more from her this year. I'm getting Lilly an umbrella with butterflies on it and am going to have her name put on it. I'm getting both of us nail files and I'm getting a new purse. I'm hoping to get another 31 representative to come to the Relay even in June and set up her stuff in our booth/tent and sell there. If I do get her to come, there's stuff I'm going to buy from her. There's a cute coin purse that you can put kids on. I'd get that for grandma and then there's a drawstring bag that I want for my gym clothes. I said yesterday that I'd put the link on here so you guys can take a look at it, but our party isn't on her site yet. I'll ask her about it today when I see her. I was going to talk to her yesterday, but with hubby's mom's birthday and all...I kinda forgot.
Yeah, we went to the in-laws yesterday, grilled some hot dogs and burgers and had cake. The kids played baseball and then shot each other with their Nerf dart guns. There was another house up for sale yesterday and we went to take a look at it. I fell in love with it when I first saw it online. It was perfect. Big family room, big open space, nice deck in the back...but then we drove by it. It was straight up a hill. The driveway was about a block long and we had to almost look straight up when we were below it. Steep hill. That's all the yard was. One big steep hill in the front and more hill in the back. So... we're crossing that one off our list.
Hubby was talking about taking Lilly fishing at the 'farm' tomorrow. If he is, I don't think I'm going to go. My allergies are already bad and they only get worse when I got down there. Me and Zach can stay home and whisper at each other. Hmm...on second thought, maybe I should go. How else am I going to make sure Zach doens't get into too much trouble? Sunday I'm taking the kids to visit my family. I bought some stuff for us to make my mom and step dad Easter baskets. I did my step dads so Lilly could see how it was done. She did my mom's and it turned out way better. Then, we wrapped them up like gift baskets.
Lilly's going to spend the night with mee maw Sunday night and I'll get her Monday after work. Spring break is next week. Easter is just a week away and we still don't have anything to put in their baskets. Its hard to find time to go shopping for them when they are there.
Be sure to check out my flickr site to see some new pictures of my kids.
Ok, its time to make some hot tea. I don't really like tea, but I am in need of relief for my throat.

Thursday, March 29, 2012


I'm not going to write much today. I'm not feeling well and I'm so tired. My awesome thing for today's post is **cough drops** Yeah. That's right. I got such a sore throat yesterday and could only find relief in cough drops. I popped those things like candy. I lost my voice for a little bit last night, too. Cough drops. They come in all kinds of flavors. Of course mine is menthol. It seems to help me more than any other flavor. I've tried the cherry, the honey lemon, the strawberry...but menthol is the best.
Lilly has a doctors appointment today. Just her annual checkup. Make sure she's growing right and all that stuff. I'm curious to see how tall she is. She's already up to my shoulders. She'll be taller than me by the time she's 10 at this rate. Today is also hubby's mom's birthday. I gave Lilly a wooden rose to take to her at school today. I hope it makes it in one peice. I told hubby last night that today was her birthday.... of course he forgot. I have to remind him of everyone's birthday. So...he's going shopping today on his lunch hour and we'll go visit her today when we all get home.
31 party for work is yesterday. I was going to post the website today for all of you to look at and hopefully buy from...ya know...since it a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society... but our event isn't up on her site yet. I'll try again tomorrow.
Ok... I'm sorry this is so short..but I think I'm done. I'm ready to go back home. I really should have called off today.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Pics from Lilly's practice

Practice went better this time. Longer too. The coach played all the girls on almost every posistion. Lilly was on third, first, pitchers mound and outfield and got to bat 4 times. Zach was ok during practice. He got a little restless about halfway through so I was trying to chase him down while still watching Lilly. I think I did ok. Here's some pics from practice

Lilly did a good job. She was on top of that ball. She hit it every time when she was up to bat and caught it almost every time it was hit to her.
Last night me and hubby ate really late....which is also my awesome thing from yesterday. **Eating quick foods late at night** We ended up having spicy chicken wings and pepperoni rolls at 11:00 last night while watching Two and a Half Men. Hubby ran out to the store and we just heated this stuff up in the microwave. He didn't get home til late since he was at the fire station trying to clean up training files and I was too busy with the kids and what not. I fixed them dinner, did homework, bathed them (well... bathed Zach, Lilly can take a shower on her own), played for a few minutes and put them to bed. That's when hubby walks through the door. After eating that stuff for dinner, I woke up at 3 am with a horrible heartburn...
I was lucky enough to win 4 circus tickets off the radio yesterday. So... looks like Zach's going to his first circus next month!! We used to go every year to the Shriners circus every year because we got free tickets. Hubby's mom knows someone or something. 2 years ago, Lilly said that she was bored with it. They do the same stuff every year, with the same sound effects, with the same lighting... it is kind of boring after 4 straight years of it. So... this year we are mixing it up and going to Ringling Brothers circus. I haven't been to theirs since I was a little kid. I hope its different than the other one.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Family and work

I just realized that I haven't been putting my awesome things of the day on here. I wonder how I strayed away from that. So my awesome thing from yesterday is ** Dancing kids** I love it. They don't care what they look like. They move and groove and shake their little bodies. Arms start waving, legs start bouncing and soon enough they are laughing. Zach and Lilly both love to dance. I like to spontaneously burst out in dance from time to time. For Lilly's birthday, we got her Just Dance 3 for the Wii, she already had the first one. I've posted pictures of the kids dancing to that before. Its so cute. Last night I hooked it up and we just danced away. I gave Zach a Wii remote too and he went all out. He was jumping around and shaking his arms. He had me and Lilly laughing so hard, we couldn't dance. Very entertaining.
Lilly has ball practice today. I don't think its going to rain, so hopefully they'll actually get to do something. I'm sure I mentioned it before, but I'm not a big fan of the coach. I'm wondering if she even knows how to play the game.
I decided yesterday that I have got to find more time for my family... my mom, all my brothers, my step dad, my grandparents.... I miss them. I've drifted so far apart from them that it hurts. I'm not even sure how it happened. I moved away. As time goes on I visit less often, but for what reason? There should be no excuses. I'm going to visit my mom, her parents, my step dad and probably 2 (maybe 3) of my brothers on Sunday. The Saturday after that I'm going to visit my dad's parents one brother and probably try to go see my step mom and my other brother. I don't think my dad will be home. I never know when he's home. Its hard for me to believe that I've let this happen. Now don't get me wrong... I'm there if they need me. Whenever there's any kind of problem or even if someone just calls me up saying they want me to come down, I'm there. It just seems that with the distance and my own kids with their own things going on, its difficult to find enough time to make that drive.
I applied yesterday to work at one of the hospitals around here. I'm aiming for Medical Billing Clerk. I've got to make it down to take my typing test. I just can't take it here anymore. Its getting unbearable. They keep piling things on my 'to do' list and I just don't have the time. No one listens when I say I can't get it done. I try, but then whenever I do it wrong, I get put down and made to do it all over again, several times. I can't just up and quit. I need the income and I'm the provider of health insurance. I need something else, quick. Before I lose my mind. I've been looking every day for something else. The only problem is, I can't work weekends or late shifts and I would still like to have the major holidays off...for the kids. And the flexibility that comes with having kids too. If one of them is sick, I'd like to be able to leave to get them without any problem or be able to leave a few minutes early when there's ball practice or something. I'm afraid that I won't find another job like that. That is the only thing that I like about the job I have now. I can leave to be with my kids, no questions asked. Its just every thing else that I can't take. I worked 10 1/2 hours yesterday and I still wasn't done. I just finally left. I had enough.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Back to Monday

Left work at noon on Friday so I could rush home and clean a little before my bff showed up. We went to the kiosk and got our movie, to Taco Bell to get our tacos then to the gas station to get Choco Tacos. Back at home, we start Breaking Dawn Part 1 and crunch on our tacos. Dorito Loco taco was awesome! How could this not have been a thing already? Why was I not the one to think of it? Crazy stuff. Then our movie starts skipping, it is scratched. So we drop our tacos and rush back out to the kiosk to get another.
Hubby ends up coming home an hour early and interrupting our hang out time. Seriously! I only get to see her once a month. How much would it suck if you got to see your only real friend just once a month for a couple hours at a time? Now, how much would it suck even more if someone kept intruding on your time with your best friend? Exactly!
Anyway.. we really weren't that impressed with the movie. It took 2 hours to badly tell a story that could've really took 20 mins. The makeup sometimes was so bad we were laughing at it. This is a great example of how the books were way better than the movie.
She went with me to get the kids. Lilly had ball practice so I got to pick her up. Then my bff headed out. We ordered pizza. It started to rain and Lilly started to cry. She was really wanting to go to practice. I told her she'll probably still have it as long as it doesn't storm. We get to practice and her father is there waiting. I tell him about the crappy coach. Within 5 mins of practice, he doesn't like her either. They only practice for about 15 mins. It starts raining harder so we all head out. The coach decided on maroon outfits with pink lettering and pink socks. I bet that's going to look bad.
I spent most of Saturday at the in-laws. Hubby was changing the oil and rotating the tires on both our cars. It was nice outside. I played with Zach and ran around and wore him out. Here's him sliding down his little slide at their house.
 Sunday we spent at the fire station for family day. It was Mexican themed. We ate Mexican food and played some games. Zach ran around like crazy and played with all the kids. When it was all over, hubby was helping clean up. Zach was tired, so I put him in his stroller and went for a walk and look what I found!
A five leaf clover! Its real. I'm not kidding! It looked like 2 had grown together because there was 2 stems stuck together. Are 5 leaves lucky?

Friday, March 23, 2012


The awesome thing on my daily awesome calendar for today is "When you know all the buttons to speed through the automated telephone system." I laughed. I do this everyday. I have 2 desks at work and I have to move my phones extention whenever I switch desks. I push the 'voicemail' button, enter my extention, enter my password followed by #, push 7, push 3, push 1 and hang up.
I am leaving work early today to hang out with my bff. She's meeting me at my house, we're going to Taco Bell to try out the new Dorito taco and then we head back to my house to watch Breaking Dawn Part 1. Yeah, as I've mentioned before I am a Twilight geek. Although, ever since I've read the Hunger Games, I've been a little obsessed. The Hunger Games movie came out today and I'm dying to see it. I can't wait. Its going to be great! I'm just having problems finding someone to go to the theater with me. Hubby isn't really interested even though I think he'd really like it. My bff doesn't really want to go, but she said she would. I don't think it'll be her cup of tea. I want her to read the books first so see if she'll like it. I told hubby's sister what it was about and she's not interested although her oldest son is. I might end up taking him. Maybe I'll call up my little bro and see is he wants to go.
I left work 1/2 an hour early yesterday so I could go buy Lilly a balloon and take it to her. I found a butterfly balloon that said "Happy Birthday" on it and I got a balloon weight that looked like a present. I rushed to the Y and surprised her with it. She told me she found her card from me and didn't know what it was at first. She was excited about the card and the balloon. But when I was leaving, she told me to take the balloon home with me because she didn't want to take it to her father's. I told her that was the whole reason I gave it to her, she has other balloons at the house from her party. She insisted, so I took it home with me.
My boss was doing a new fundraiser for Relay, she was selling wooden flowers at an equipment expo. Ya know... with construction equipment and stuff. Apparently a lot of the guys there thought the flowers were such a great idea, she raised $970 in 2 days! For anyone looking for a fundraiser, look for some wooden flowers. They come in all kinds of colors and they never die.
My Relay fundraiser is coming up next week. I'm having a 31 representative come to my work to sell 31 products. It was a big hit last year. I'll post the website up here later so if any of you are interested, you can get a nice purse and help contribute to American Cancer Society. The rep will open an account on her website and the sells from that too will go toward Relay. I'd love it if you'd help out. And you'll get a little something for yourself, or a loved one, in return. If you spend $31 you get a purse for 1/2 off! Anyway..I'll post all that later.

Thursday, March 22, 2012


I know I'm a little later than usual on my posting today. I couldn't help it. My morning was hectic and I was just so tired. I was up last night from 1-4 with Zach. He had a nightmare and wouldn't go back to sleep. At least I figured he had a bad dream from the way he woke up screaming trying to climb out of his bed.
Lilly is 7 today! I hid her birthday card from me in her backpack in her snack pocket so she'll find it around snack time today. I'm going to leave work 1/2 an hour early to make sure I can make it to the Y in time to give her a balloon. I hope she doesn't get picked up early today. I gave her 3 wooden roses yesterday and she loved them.
We went yesterday to the wake of hubby's friend's brother that had passed away Monday. I didn't really get to meet with the family much, I was running after Zach. He was not very happy. His tummy knew it was dinner time and nothing else mattered. Lilly was well behaved. A lot of people did show up.... a lot of fire fighters from across the county as well as ambulance drivers and EMT's. The funeral was today. Hubby took the day off, he was a pall bearer.
I actually don't think I'm going to work out today. I didn't yesterday because of the wake. I went Tuesday and lifted weights for an hour, but I think I'm going to skip the rest of the week. The weather's been nice and I've been outside more, walking and playing with the kids, so that helps. I think I just really need a break. I'll continue with it next week on Tuesday. Hubby kind of needs me home. He's not taking the passing of this one very well. I'm not too sure how well hubby knew him. I know he was on the fire station as an EMT/first responder, but hubby never talked about him. I don't know. He was really wanting me there last night for him, and I was even though it was only for an hour and he thanked me for going. He was up last night with weird dreams. He never called them nightmares, just weird. I didn't press further. I figured if he wanted me to know, he'd tell me. Death is a very touchy issue with him. No one really wants to talk about it, but its unavoidable. When Lilly has questions, I try my best to answer them and make sure my answers aren't too complicated or morbid. She was asking me yesterday about Heaven. She even asked me that when I die if I would come back and leave her a note telling her how Heaven was. I told her I would. She asked about where we'd live up there and I told her that we all get our own mansions. We've had several discussions about Heaven and death and she's being able to deal with it better. She used to spontaniously start crying saying she didn't want to die. She doesn't do that anymore.
Well........ I only have a little over an hour before I go get a balloon. Watch.. she'll already be gone from the Y when I get there.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tomorrow is her birthday!

Another house came up for sale yesterday and the picture and discription looked promising so we went to drive by it to take a look. The picture was very deceiving! This house was not well taken care of at all. There are holes in the siding and mold growing all around it. There is no yard. The little bit of grass that comes with the house is all hill and not even enough hill to sleigh ride down during the winter. So... this one is a NO. The drove by the other house that we looked at Friday to walk through the yard. It seemed fine. I told hubby he gets until next week to either give me the green light or not to start working on our loan. Our pre-approval expired so I have to do that all over again. I do like this house. Its roomy, but not too spacious. The yard is a good size, but not too big where I wouldn't want to go mow the grass. Its just... almost perfect. I don't really like being able to see a house out of every window of our house, but there's really not much I can do about that. At least they are all nice houses.
My little girl turns 7 tomorrow! I haven't really gotten to do all the things for her birthday that I wanted to. I was wanting to take her to a movie and we were going to go out to eat at her favorite place tonight, but one of hubby's friends brother passed away the other day and the wake is tonight. He was an ambulance driver and a volunteer fire fighter. I still have the birthday card to put in her backpack tomorrow for her to find later in the day and I bought her some wooden roses of her favorite colors for today. We can go out to eat for her birthday next week. Or maybe I we can take her Friday before ball practice. She has practice at 6:45, so that's plenty of time to go out. When its her father's days to have her, but she has practice or a game, I pick her up and feed her and get her ready and then he meets us there.
Ok, ok... if I don't stop now, I'll ramble on forever.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Lilly's first practice went ok. I didn't get any pictures on my phone. I was too busy taking pictures of her on her camera. She asked me to. We were the first ones there besides the coach. Lilly went to warm up with coach's daughter. Is there never going to be a year when the coach has a kid or family member on the team? I hate it. Her daughter ended up playing first base and pitcher the entire time. Lilly was in the outfield. Never moved. When they were taking turns batting, the coach was taking 2 kids at a time to get ready to bat and the rest stayed in the field. She then started on third base, took that kid to bat and replaced her with a kid that just batted. She said she was going to go clockwise, which woulda put Lilly as 4th batter. She ended up switching is up right before Lilly so her own kid could go bat. Lilly was the last one to get to go. Then at the end of practice she hands me a paper that the league had lost. It was medical information on Lilly that I had already filled out, but since it was lost, I had to do it again. She told me to fill it out before I leave. So I go to my car to get a pen and the insurance card and I'm not even halfway done....when the coach gets in her car and leaves.
She told the kids that they were all going to learn to play every position, but Lilly was the only kid that never moved from outfield. She's a great player. She can throw further than most of the girls on her team. She can catch better and pays attention, but she was out there where she didn't get to do anything. She was very upset. I know it was the first practice, but you don't need to be like that. The coach needs to be equally fair with each kid. If you're saying that one kid is next to bat, you can't change your mind at the last minute. If you say that you want the kids to practice on every spot on the field, then do it. I felt so bad for her. There she was, out there, watching, not getting to participate. So... I'm not too much of a fan of the coach just yet. And then there was these 2 guys, I'm guessing the dad and grandpa to a girl named Hadley... who wouldn't pay much attention and just threw the ball wherever she wanted. (when they get the ball after its been hit, they are supposed to throw it to first, every time, but this girl was throwing it to home plate, to third and a few times toward the dugout which isn't even in the same direction as first) anyway.. these 2 guys kept yelling at her to go get the ball when it wasn't even nowhere near her. She started out between first and second base and whenever the ball was hit toward third base, they'd yell at her to go get it.... and she'd take off running only to be in the way. I felt bad for her.
One of Lilly's friends from school showed up for practice, but only to tell the coach that they were quitting. Lilly was so excited to see her and then her poor little heart was crushed when they took off. She couldn't play because she is enrolled in soccer, 4H and ballet already. Don't you think that's a little too much for a 6 or 7 year old to be doing all at once? I kinda wanted to slap the mom. I made Lilly chose between soccer and softball. I wouldn't let her do both. Next year though, I'm going to let her enroll in Girl Scouts, but that's completely different. Its not like if she misses a meeting she'll be bad during a game or not taught a 'play', ya know. So now Lilly is back to not knowing any of the girls on her team, which really isn't too much of a bad thing. It just makes the first couple of practices awkward for her until she gets to know them.

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Party

None of Lilly's friends from school showed up to her party. It didn't really seem to bother her much. I'm sure with ball practice starting up some were actually busy.
We got to the building around 11:30 to start decorating and it only took us about an hour to do it all. We were moving fast. I thought it looked real good. Hubby's sister was there with her daughter helping us out. Then, they left to get lunch and took Zach with them. I had packed my kids sandwiches that they ate almost as soon as we got there. Me and Lilly hung out. Took pictures. Put some more decorations up. Sat by the pond. It was nice.
About 2:30 people started showing up. Hubby got there and put together her soccer net and all the kids were outside playing. I had soccer, volleyball, baseball, football, bouncy balls, basketballs and frisbees out there. The kids were having a blast.
We opened gifts and she loved them all. She loved all her clothes, did some kind of evil laugh when she opened her Nerf dart gun, screamed when she opened her camera and almost fell out of her chair when she opened her guitar. She was very comical to watch. I got some great pictures on my camera of her face. She was excited over every single gift...even chapstick.
My bff showed up in the middle of gift opening and she brought her neice that's around Lilly's age. They ended up playing real well together.
The cake was good. Zach took a nap. The kids played some more. Then it rained. Lilly was upset because she was really wanting to go fishing. We started to clean up, which really didn't take that long. It was trying to fit everything in my car that was the hard part.
So, she had lots of fun, Zach was wore out and she loved all her stuff. Here's some pics
Here's my bff with some poppy ball toy things in her eyes.

Lilly just hit the ball. See it right above her head?

Little man playing

Zach playing soccer

Lilly taking a picture of me with my camera before people started showing up

Lilly's cake. Half was soccer and half was softball

Some of her balloons

How cool is this candy?

Lilly taking pictures with my camera before the party

Zach had a long day. I'm glad I brought the blanket and pillow

Here's Lilly camera

Here's her guitar
It really was a good party. Everyone wore green since it was St. Paticks Day. I had bought green beaded necklaces in case someone showed up not wearing green.
Her first softball practice of the season is today. She's super excited about it.
We went to look at a house on Friday, too. It was nice. Real nice. 3 bedrooms upstairs, one downstairs. One full bath and 2 half baths. One car garage with extra storage. Kitchen has lots of cabinets and counter space. The yard is a good size, new roof... it was nice. The bathroom fixtures were a really ugly yellow though, which isn't a big deal and the yard was super squishy. Hubbys thinking there might be a spring in the yard, but its been raining a lot lately. I told him we'll wait until it hasn't rained a few days and we'll go back and look. Hubby wasn't impressed with the bedroom sizes or the layout of the kitchen. I thought it was fine. We don't need a huge bedroom and I'll be the one spending the most time in the kitchen. I liked it. After we look at the yard again, we might make an offer. Its way out of our price range, but we can at least try. They might take our offer, ya never know. Told hubby we need to go in super low just to see what they counter with. He's always wanting to go in with all we got and then we don't have any room to wriggle when they want more money. BUT... this might be the house. There's even some nice furniture that they are willing to sell with the house, but the only thing we are interested in is the dining room set. Real nice.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Oh the Rain!

Its been raining for quite a while now. We are under a flood watch. It rained most of yesterday, it was raining when I left the house this morning and its still raining. The one day that would have been perfect for Lilly to wear her raincoat, she didn't.
I'm leaving work early today to finish up birthday shopping and to wrap Lilly's gifts. I haven't gotten any RSVP's from any of her friends at school yet. I'm a bit worried. But last year, I was getting people calling me on our way to the party. I did put on the invitation to RSVP by today. Since the party is tomorrow and we have to buy food and do goodie bags, I thought today was a good time frame.
I'm wore out and sore today. I think I over-did it at the gym yesterday. Even the bottoms of my feet hurt.
Ended up skipping dinner again yesterday. I was too tired to cook. I whipped up something for the kids, but that was it. I thought I'd be starving this morning, but I'm not... yet anyway.
My best friend is driving in to WV today from NY. Its a long drive and I hope they make it ok. I'm not sure what time they'll be leaving or arriving. She might be able to make it to Lilly's party after all. She didn't make it last year and it was the first year she wasn't there. She missed Zach's, but that was during the time that she was actually in the process of moving from VA to NY. She moves around too much.
Ok, yawning every 5 seconds is making it hard to type. YAWN!! Are  you yawning yet? Did you know that you don't really have to see a yawn for a yawn to be contagious? You can also think or read the word yawn and have the urge to yawn. Have you yawned yet?

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Why can't I ever think of a title anymore?

So, I stopped at McDonalds for breakfast this morning since I was so hungry, I skipped dinner last night. I orded 2 sausage burritos and when I got them I drove to work which is only about a 2 minute drive. I sat at my desk and took a big bite........................ it was still cold. SO GROSS!! I immediately spit it out and I don't even bother opening the other one, I'm so grossed out. I guess McDonalds knew I was supposed to be on a diet and ruined my food on purpose.
I've been doing ok on my diet. I'm definitely eating healthier and eating smaller portions. Yeah, I cheat every now and then, but its not like I'm sitting there eating half of a bag of chips like I use to. I'm still going to the gym 4 days a week and on pretty days, I'm outside playing with the kids or going on walks. I still haven't lost any weight. What is the deal? Its been a month now and I have no results. My clothes aren't fitting any better, I see no difference. And I work my ass off in the gym. I just don't get it. Anyone else go through this? Anyone else have this problem? Have you had this happen to you, but after a while every thing started to work out and you lost weight?
I hear people say that you shouldn't base your efforts on your weight but by your size. I get it, muscle weighs more than fat. But my clothes are getting tighter, I'm getting fatter. Its so frustrating and discouraging.
Zach's been sleeping a bit better this week, which is nice. He got up at midnight, I fell asleep on the couch with him and woke up at 2:00 to put him back in his crib, then he got up at 4:00. Much better than every half an hour like it was last week. I guess the time change took a toll on him.
I sent Lilly to school today in shorts. IN SHORTS!! Its March, people. Its not supposed to be 80 degrees in March. I remember going to her ball practices last year and freezing in March. There were days I wouldn't take Zach because it was so cold. Its crazy. I really hope we aren't looking at a 120 degree summer or something. Where I live, the seasons are ok. Spring is cool/warm, Summer is hot/humid but not too bad, Autumn is cool/warm and winter is cold and snowy. We didn't get much of a winter this year. It only snowed 5 times and none of them were bad enough to make me stay home like I usually do when it snows bad. Our biggest one was only about 4 inches, but it all melted away the very next day. Well, it snowed at night and when I got up in the morning it was about 4 inches, but it was still snowing, but by the time I got home that day, it was all gone. Lilly was mad. She didn't get to wear her new snow boots this year or play in the snow. I'm mad cuz I didn't get a chance to let Zach play in the snow for the first time.
Lilly's party is in 2 days!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Weather is warming up

Where did winter go? Did we even have winter? I hope that its not an indication that summer is going to be horribly hot and humid and gross.
It was nice yesterday. The temp was about 80 when I got home, but it was nice. No humidity and a nice breeze. We took the kids outside and played. Me and Lilly tossed the ball around for a bit until she didn't catch it and it smacked her right in the forehead. Then she didn't want me to play anymore, so hubby did. I played ball with Zach. He had sissy's big bright yellow softball and we were rolling it around for a bit until he got bored, then we went for a walk.
Lilly's got a good arm on her. She's been hoping to be able to play first base. They played her a lot there during t-ball and she did ok. I keep telling her that she need to practice if she wants first base. She can throw, but we gotta work on her catching. Its been nearly a year since we threw the ball around and she's afraid of it again. Its going to take some time. I didn't mean to hit her in the face. And man, it made a big POP sound too. She was fine. She didn't cry too much and there's no bruise. She ended up laughing it off. I'm glad it didn't hit her glasses, that would have been bad and more painful. All that metal and the weight from the ball smaking down on your eyes. I worry about her glasses while she plays. And this year is going to be more aggressive since its softball. I'm very proud of how far she's come and I'm so glad that she's into sports.
Lilly got all her invitations out yesterday. She only had 3 left and I told her to wait and we'll figure out a way to get them out, but she gave them out during recess without getting caught. Sneaky little girl. Party is in 3 more days! She keeps getting excited about it and making herself sick. She's just like me. If we get too excited or too worried, our nerves get the best of us and we end up getting sick. Its silly, I know, but it happens. Hubby stopped yesterday and ordered her cake with soccer and softball theme. Its going to be a nice party.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Can't think of a title

I went to the candy store in the mall today to get the candy for Lilly's birthday party. I got some soccer ball, softball and football foil covered milk chocolate balls. I also got some green kiwi and some green 7-Up flavor Jelly Bellys and gold foiled coins because we're having the party on St. Patrick's Day. I might go somewhere and get the kids some green bead necklaces too. I think I'm more excited about the party than Lilly is. I love planning my kids parties.
Lilly got in a bit of trouble yesterday handing out her invitations. We aren't inviting the entire class because she doesn't want kids she's not friends with showing up.... completely understandable. Well.... she got in trouble cuz she didn't have enough for everyone. She did manage to get most of them handed out before she got caught. We only have 3 more to go. I hope some of them show up. I'd hate it if they didn't. She's looking so forward to this party. Its going to be a pretty day that day and there's plenty of outside activities for the kids to do. I made sure I got enough stuff to keep at least 20 kids busy. I let Lilly invite 16 kids from school and the Y and then we have family and friends of family.. so if they all show up, that's about 20 kids.
Zach's getting pretty good at using a fork

And here's Lilly playing ball
I got a call from the little league Sunday night. He said he was confused.. "It says here that her birthday is March 2005, is this right?" yeah. "You have her signed up to play coach pitch softball." Yeah...ok. "She's only 6?" Yeah, but she'll be 7 before practice even starts and I even asked the people during sign up if she had to do t-ball again and they said we could do whichever. "Oh, so you want to do softball then?" yeah. "Well...our cut off date for the ages is January first." Ok... But she'll be the biggest and oldest kid on the team again this year..and I asked during sign ups. "Oh, so she did play t-ball last year then?" yeah "Then that's all that matters. You want her to play softball?" yeah. "Ok, then, you'll be getting a call in the next couple of days telling you who your coach is going to be and then they'll call you with a schedule." Ok, great, thanks, bye.  UM............ really? And I'm pretty sure the guy that called me was the same guy I talked to at sign ups.
So I talked to big boss guy about me staying until 5:00 and he said I didn't have to. And he kinda wants me to start coming in about half an hour later, but he said he'll look into it first...whatever that means. He also said raises should be in anytime now.
Thinking about taking half a day Friday so I can do some last minute shopping for Lilly's party. I haven't even been to the party store to see what they had and we still haven't even picked out a cake!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Party is ON!!

I finally found a place to have Lilly's party! We are going to have it at the hungting and fishing club not far from our house. I was just aiming for a picnic shelter, but we got the building. I'm glad too cuz it looks like its going to rain that day. It was only $10!! Took Lilly and Zach Saturday to get decorations and goody bag stuff. I think we did a good job. We even got a bunch of sports toys. I got 2 footballs, a huge inflatable basketball and a tiny one, a frisbee, a plastic bat and ball, a soccer ball with cones and she has her soccer net with another soccer ball. We even got a couple plain bouncy balls. The building is huge and even has a covered porch in case it does rain.
Yesterday we took the kids to go shopping for Lilly's softball stuff. We already bought her a purple bat, but yesterday we got her a purple glove and purple cleats. She's going to use the helmet from last year... and its pink. Then we went out to eat and Zach ate more than I did.
I'm just trying to figure out when I'm going to wrap her gifts now....

Zach hasn't been himself lately. He's been extra whiney and he's not cutting any teeth or anything. He doesn't act like he's sick or anything either. He hasn't been sleeping. I don't know what to do. All he wants to do is lay on me. I can't get anything done. I hope its just a phase and he'll get out of it soon. Anyone have any ideas?

Friday, March 9, 2012

No party? :(

Still having problems finding a spot for Lilly's birthday party. I really should have booked it a long time ago, but for some reason I kept thinking I had way more time. The Y is booked, the community building is taken, and the church gym that she has soccer in is full on that day too. My last hope is the hunting and fishing club that hubby's sister is a member of. Its all outside and so far there's a small chance of rain next Saturday, but there's still time for that to change. Hubby's sister has been trying to reach them all day, but no one will answer. I'm freaking out a little.
I was wanting to try out a no carb diet for a while to see how that worked. I was wanting today to be my trial day... I have failed twice already. I need more will-power. I really want to lose some weight. Not just for me, but I want to be healthy for my kids. I am seriously just a few pounds away from being as heavy as I was when I was 9 months pregnant with Zach. I had him and didn't lose hardly any weight.. and I've just been packing it on. The past couple weeks I've been trying real hard. Exercising, fresh fruits and veggies... stuff I hardly did before... and I'm still gaining weight. I think there might be something else behind my weight gain. I might have to go to the doctor to get things checked out.
Hubby just bought tickets for him, his buddy and his wife to go to a Hank Williams Jr concert. He asked me last night if I wanted to go, and while I have grown up on his music, I'm just not interested. That and we have Lilly that weekend. I figure it'd be a nice time to do something special for the kids while hubby's away. We'll go out somewhere to eat and then get ice cream or something. Let Zach have his very own cone. Eh... I don't know about that one. I'm not sure I'm ready to hand one over to him by himself. That'll be a mess that'll take forever to clean.
Hubby has fire class this weekend, so its just me and the kids. I don't know what we're going to do. Clean. But then what? I don't want to be cooped up in the house the whole time. I'll figure something out. Thought about taking Lilly to the mall cuz one of her favorite people from tv are going to be there, but the girl has to leave exaclty at 3. Its from 12-3 and if you don't get there super early, you won't get to see her. I don't want  to get Lilly all excited, stand in line all that time only to not be able to see her. Lilly would be so disappointed. But if we did get up there, it be something Lilly would never forget. So... I'm kinda in a pickle. I don't know. We'll see. I doubt we'll go, but I might change my mind before then.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Can I get a WOOO!?

I left work early yesterday because I couldn't find my wallet and I was hoping it was at home. That and I was getting a migraine. Thankfully, my wallet was there...just laying on the floor by the couch with my chapstick that I was missing too. So... I hit the gym early. I worked out for 2 hours. 20 mins on elliptical, 20 mins on treadmill, 20 mins on bike, 50 mins on weights and 10 mins on stair climber.
Then we took the kids to hubby's mom so they could ride their bikes. We don't have room to keep the bikes at our place, so we keep them there. I had to leave to pack a diaper bag at our house. As I was pulling in, Lilly was pushing Zach on his bike and turned a little too sharp and was dumping Zach out of his bike. I was on the phone with mom. I parked my car in the middle of the road, left my door open, threw my phone on the ground, ran over and put him back on his bike. He wasn't completely out and Lilly had the bike tilted. He had his hands on the ground and his butt on his bike.
Here's a pic of Lilly pushing Zach...
Both of them had a blast. It was the first time Zach really got to ride in his bike and Lilly loved that she was the first one to push him. 
I couldn't get a picture of Lilly on her bike. Every time I got my phone out to take a picture, she took off and was a blur.
The moon was real pretty last night, full and bright.
On our way home at 7:00, Zach fell asleep in the car. He usually wakes up as soon as he gets picked up out of his car seat, but he didn't this time. We went inside the apt and I layed him on the couch, took his shoes and coat off and he was still asleep. I decided to go to bed super early since he was asleep super early and I was soooo tired. 9:00 I hit the sack. I hear Zach get up, not sure what time, but hubby gets him since he's still up. Then...Zach didn't get back up until 4:00. A sippy cup later and he was out again and I had trouble getting him up at 6:00. I feel bad cuz he missed his bath and dinner, but he was so tired. He's never slept so good. I've never slept so good. I feel great today. I had some messed up dreams last night, but other than that it was one of the best nights of sleep I've gotten in so long.
I ran into a problem with Lilly birthday party. I was wanting to have it on the 17th at the Y, but they are booked that day... and so is the community building. I'm going to have to check around at the prices of other places, but maybe the weather will be good and we can have it outside. I was thinking about the hunting and fishing club close to our house. Hubby's parents are members, so hopefully we can do something there.
Let's see...what's happened during that month I couldn't post. Lilly lost her second tooth. Zach's new thing is walking backwards. He can use a fork now, but he doesn't like to put it in his mouth. He will poke the food then take it off the fork with his other hand and pop it in his mouth. My little girl turns 7 in 3 weeks!!! I can't believe it. I still remember the days when it was just me and her, remember them like it was yesterday. Falling asleep on the couch all cuddled up together watching Wizard of Oz. Going on walks to everywhere. Driving to a park just because. Going out for ice cream whenever we felt like it. ..... I'm going to have to start doing this again. Maybe I've become a stale mom. I need to go back and do all those things with both of them. One problem is that I don't live in the same neighborhood that I did when it was just me and Lilly. I felt safer there. There was less traffic, less people. I felt safer taking her out.
So anyway......................................................... with all the sleep I got last night, I do think I could actually get some more. ha ha
My bff is coming in from NY next weekend. I'm super excited. WOOOOOO!!!!
My bff became an aunt last month too. Her little brother, who isn't so little, had his first baby. Pretty little girl with bright red hair. One of my friends from high school had his first child too. 2 days before my bff's brother. I went to the hospital the day the little red head was born to see both babies.
Oh! and the guy I talk about in my post called "Justice" that I wrote back in January... well.. his sentencing date was last month. He was sentenced to a minimum of 715 years in jail. Yep 715.. that's no typo. Seven hundred and fifteen years in jail.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Small recap

I feel like there's so much that I have to put up on here. Not just for all of you to read, but for me to be able to go back and read later. Something for my kids to read when they grow up. Its not like my blog is going anywhere. Its my journal, my way to vent, my way to recollect, my way to reach out. Yeah...I did mess it up there for a little over a month and I didn't/couldn't post and it was killing me. I felt like I had lost someone, sort of. This blog is very therapeutic for me and without, I do feel a bit lost. I didn't get to talk about Zach's birthday party, so I'll do that now.
We actually got to have the party ON his bday. How often does that happen? We did a construction theme. He picked it out, I think I talked about that before, back when we were shopping. I got some caution tape from the maintenance guys at work and we bought some cheap plastic dump trucks and bulldozers to sit on the tables. We had a good turn out. It was all hubby's family, friends and then my grandparents. We didn't invite any kids from day care like I thought I wanted to. First, the kids played. Zach ran around and played with the balloons. I bought a helium tank and we had some blew up that way, but then we had a bunch just laying on the floor just waiting to be kicked around. Then, it was presents time. We got about halfway through them when Zach decided he was done. So, we stripped him down and gave him cake. While I was watching him eat and poke at his cake, hubby served everyone else their cake. I let him eat half of it, then I cleaned him up. After he was dressed, he crashed on my shoulder and took a 10 minute power nap. Then I let him play some more. I handed out the goodie bags to all the kids. Lilly blew bubbles for Zach. Then, we finished opening the gifts. Hubby's sister bought Zach a 'housekeeping' thing. It came with a sweeper, broom, a cart and some other little stuff. He saw that broom, and it was over. He grabbed it, jumped up and started sweeping. I couldn't get him to stop. We had just 2 things left to open. I let him play a while and then as soon as he dropped the broom, I swooped it up and hid it. After gifts, everyone played the game we had up. It was kinda like pin the tale on the donkey, but it was construction theme, so it was pin the stop sign in the right spot. The kids all played, then I made the guys play. It was funny.
There are pics of this up on my flickr account. Go check them out. I only got a few on my phone, the rest are on my good camera, but it'll be a while before I can put those up. I still have a bunch of pics from last year on a memory card. I gotta get those printed out and put in a book so I can flip through them whenever I want.
What else??....... Hubby's sister turned 40 and we threw her a 'surprise' party. She knew about it of course. With 4 kids and a husband who isn't very good at secrets... she knew. We went out to eat the day before her party. Her mom got sick. She was outside throwing up when we were getting ready to leave. 
UH.... I don't know. I started watching The River. Great, awesome show.
Oh, my 'promotion'... yeah...I won't call it a promotion per say. I'm suppose to be getting a raise, but I have no idea how much or when. I am now the assistant to 3 people and I am constantly busy. I am doing all these things that I've never done before... booking flights, doing expense reports, putting together presentations.... and they don't really give me time to learn or anything. They just tell me to do it and then I struggle to find out how. I am very stressed out.
Not to forget about the breakdown I had a month ago. I was just so tired and so stressed out I couldn't take it anymore. I was working like crazy, going home and doing everything while hubby sat around and did nothing. Well.. he said that he would help out more, but he hasn't and it seems like there's more to do everyday. Anytime I ask him for help he gets all huffy puffy or it takes him forever to do it. I couldn't get him to do anything last night because he was watching a movie. A movie we had on the DVR that can be watched at anytime. I am just so worn out, and to top it off, I'm getting home later because I go to the gym after work. I thought exercising was supposed to give me more energy..I don't have any. I have less, but I can't tell if its from the gym or just regular stuff. Working out does put me in a better mood, for a little while anyway.  
Tomorrow is my oldest brother's (Josh) birthday. He will be 30. Um... nothing more to say on that.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Its snowing

Its snowing like crazy outside. We had probably 4 or 5 inches and its still coming down. School is only on a 2 hour delay and I made it to work just fine.
I hung out with hubby's sister Saturday. We went to an event called Girls Just Wanna Have Fun mostly because her daughter was dancing with her dance team there. It was ok. There wasn't much to do and not a lot of people. Zach got up and danced with the dancers. It was adorable.
So, I'm eating better. My breakfast is either one banana and 4 strawberries cut up together or one package of oatmeal. Lunch is either a salad or soup, usually tomato or veggie. Dinner, I eat whatever I fix, I'm not going to put the rest of the house on a diet with me, but I only eat half of what I usually would. I snack on carrots and apples. I work out 4 days a week doing 30 mins cardio on a treadmill, elliptical, bike or the stair climber and 30 mins lifting weights doing just about every machine in the gym. I climb the stairs at work everyday, walk the parking garage when I'm using my cell phone and for lunch I take a half an hour walk. I'm trying real hard to lose weight. Since I've been doing this, I've gained 6 pounds and my clothes are tighter. My bff said that I will gain before I lose, but I don't like it. I feel like I'm working my ass off for nothing.
So... Sunday I went to visit my mom, her mom and my second ex step dad. Zach fell in the mud at moms, Lilly chased the chickens and played with the dogs. Stopped at my grandma's to tell her happy early birthday then went to my step dads to hang out for a couple hours. My 2 youngest brothers were there too. I like seeing all of them, but it feels like its getting more and more awkward. Like, they could go without my visits or seeing my kids. My step dad informed me that he is taking me off his will as executor and putting my oldest brother, Josh. Really? He is not capable of handling things like that. He can't even manage his own life, let alone someone else's. was like an arrow went straight through my heart. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or anything, but out of all of my mom's kids, I am the most responsible, mature, level-headed one. My brothers never grew up. Josh is letting his health go down the drain. He was diagnosed with diabetes, but he won't take his meds or check his sugar and he still eats and does whatever he wants. He is very overweight and so is his kid. His 8 year old son weights just as much as I do. He bounces from job to job. He finally has a good one, but he never has any money. He spends it all on Xbox games.
Yes, I'm venting...let me vent.
I have 2 healthy, happy, strong and active kids. I manage my money. I put the important things first. When someone needs me, I am always there. I might not come and visit that much, but if they called me and needed me for anything, I'd be there in a heartbeat. My youngest brother, Donavan just had his tonsils taken out, I was there. I was the only sibling there. I took time off my work to be there for him. When my mom was in the hospital after her heart attack, I was there everyday. I worked half hours so I could be there. Whenever Josh needed a babysitter, I was there. When he calls me for money, I don't think twice. When Chris was having all those problems with Dad, I was there. When Chris and Tony were going hungry, I was there to cook for them and leave them food.
I do all of this for my family and lately is seems like they don't want me to be a part of it. I found out from my dad's mom that all my brothers have been hanging out almost every weekend. I heard from my mom that my brother Chris has a girlfriend. I wasn't even invited to Josh's wedding. I had to hear it from Mom that he was getting married. It just really hurts. I'm sorry I don't come to your house everyday. I live kind of too far away to do that and my kids have their own things to do. None of my family, except my dad's parents, come to my kids birthday parties or Lilly's softball/soccer games.
Ok, ok... I think I'm done venting. I was telling my bff about what's going on and how I feel and she said that she's growing apart from her family too, that maybe its just a part of growing up. Is it? I don't want to be excluded from my family. I don't want them to push me away. I try to hard to be a part of their lives, but it seems they don't want me to be.
I can't think of anything else to write. I've done went and upset myself again..... Happy Monday everyone, and it does feel great to be back and get this all off my chest.
Oh, be sure to check out my smile blog. Its back up and running. I fixed everything, for now anway.

Friday, March 2, 2012

I'm back for a limited time!

Oh, I can type... I can't post pictures yet, so I'm so sorry to all of you who enjoy my smile blog. I'm still working on that too. I wish I could post pics. Zach's grown up so much. You can check them out on my flickr account.
A lot has happened. I don't know when I posted last. I'm kinda afraid to even look. I'm afraid if I do, I'll lose what little progress I've made in me being able to type.
I messed up. I upgraded my blogger account without thinking and now I can't really do anything without having my browser upgraded and I don't think the techs here at work are going to do that just so I can keep up with my blogs.
Lets see... Zach had his birthday, Lilly is signed up for softball, I got 'promoted', I joined a gym, we still live in the tiny tiny apartment....
I don't want to type too much, in case all of this just disappears.
You can also follow me on Twitter @bekahbug04 ... its a private account, but I will accept you. I just didn't want a bunch of spammers following me. I haven't been too active on it lately, but I will now that I can't access my blogs like I wish. I will post smileys from time to time on there.
Ok, ok... I'll try this again on Monday and see if it lets me post anything. Fingers Crossed. Hopefully soon I'll figure out how to post pics!