Tuesday, December 25, 2012

I lied

So, here's just a quick post of pictures of Christmas with the kids and stuff. Details will come later.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Christmas Time!!

So, I'll be off work until the New Year and probably won't update either of my blogs. Sorry... but I'm taking the time to be with my kids.
I heard that there's a snow storm headed my way. I've seen pictures today of what has hit in the West so far and I'm sort of excited for finally getting snow. Although, if it gets too bad, I won't get to travel to see my mom, 2 brothers and grandparents on Saturday. But.. that can certainly hold off for a few days. I'm glad that we have a fire place and I don't really have to worry about how I'm going to keep the kids warm if the power goes off. Cooking will be troublesome, but at least they'll be warm. I'm also prepared to take in others if needed.
Hubby opened Lilly's electric scooter to get it charged before Christmas and there was a bolt missing! He was suggesting that I take it back to the store, but I told him to just get a bolt and put it in there. He did and its fine. Yeah, it makes me mad that I paid that much for the toy and there were parts missing, but its an easy fix and no fuss was needed.
I have all the gifts wrapped except what is going to be from Santa and the big toys from us, but I don't think we are going to wrap the big toys. I'm not really sure what hubby has in mind for those.
I have the next few days to prepare my house to do Christmas Eve breakfast for hubby's family. Part of me wants to invite my grandparents because I know they'll come down. But that would leave my uncle and one brother alone on Christmas Eve because I know they won't come. Its only breakfast, but I don't want them to think that I'm excluding them. Its a tough call really. The other thing is seating. If hubby's family comes down, that's another 8 people. Count them and us and that's 12. I only have enough seating for 7 in the living room. For eating, I have enough for 10...11 if I put Zach in his high chair instead of at his table. If I invite my grandparents, that's another 2 and if my brother and uncle do decide to show up, that another 2. I wouldn't really think it to be a big deal, but hubby's nephews and niece just don't listen to anything and they'll be running around all crazy and I can just imagine them tearing up my kids new stuff... which they probably will. I'm just being grumpy.
Ok, I've slacked off most of the day. I now have 2 hours to get caught up so I can go on vacation.
I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. OR Happy Holidays... whichever you prefer. I hope you all stay safe.
Also, tomorrow at 9:30 am, please have a moment of silence in remembrance of the tragedy in Connecticut. My heart still breaks for them, and always will.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


So many things... so many thoughts.
Last week there was a gas line explosion near where I live. It was the town where my dad lives. 5 houses were lost, but thankfully no one was home at the time. The fire scorched the interstate and the road had to be repaved. Lilly's school is taking up donations, so I'll be donating what little I can to help out.
As all of you should know by now, a terrible tragedy happened last week. I cannot express just how saddened, heartbroken and sickened I am at what happened. Every time I think about it, I burst out in tears. I cannot see how anyone could ever do what that gunman did. 26 lives.... most of them children. I pray for their families every night and they will forever be in my prayers. No one should ever have to experience that. That could have just as easily happened anywhere else. I vow to make sure that my children know what to do in times of emergencies. I had a talk with Lilly last night. She had heard about the shootings, but it didn't really click in her mind. We talked about it for a while, I told her about the heroes that lost their lives while trying to save the kids. I told her about the little girl who was the sole survivor in the classroom because she played dead. Lilly was ok talking about this. I then proceeded to tell her that I am going to make sure that she is prepared no matter what happens. If we are in a car wreck and I get knocked out, if there's a fire at our house, if someone breaks into our house, if someone tried to take her, if a shooter is in her school... I told her we are going to have a plan for it all. I know you can never fully prepare for such things, but I'm going to try my best. After she realized that these things can happen to her, she burst out crying. I reassured her that this was just for her protection. It may never happen, but its good to be prepared. I'm going to teach her to use my phone, we're going to make a fire plan for the house, she's going to learn to use my gun and she's getting her own .22 on her birthday this March. I will teach her about gun safety. She was worried about if our house caught on fire that our pictures would burn. I told her that all of our pictures that we have printed out are all also on a disc and she can go with me next Friday to put them in our safe deposit box at my work. That made her feel a little better. I told her that its her job to be prepared, but its my job to make sure everyone is always safe. My mom told me to get Lilly a fire proof safe so she can put some stuff in there. I think that's a really good idea. She'll be getting one of those soon.
It is a scary thing.... you go through life thinking nothing bad can ever happen to you. I don't want to scare my children, but I want them to live in reality and be prepared for anything. I don't want them going through life thinking everyone is good....because they aren't. I don't want them thinking they are invincible. They are fragile.
I also want to take this opportunity to thank every teacher, every day care worker, every person that works with kids that loves and treats them as their own.

Thursday, December 13, 2012


The doctor said that my wrist is just inflamed and gave me a wrist splint and some anti-inflammatory medication. He said that if its not better in 10 days, that I'll go in for x-rays. Something tells me that he really doesn't think that its just inflammation, but whatever. It still hurts, but its not swollen any more.

We took the kids last night to see a festival of Christmas lights. Zach loved it, but Lilly complained.
This one is going to be short since its difficult for me to type with my brace on.
Might be going Saturday to finish my Christmas shopping. I still have to get the kids one more thing that goes with something else I bought them, my brother and his family their gift. Next weekend is when we are going to have our Christmas with my mom.
Seth had to go to day court today. He got sited for selling alcohol to a minor during a police sting. He was freaking out. My step dad came with him and I walked across the street during my lunch to go too. Nothing is going on his record, he wasn't really charged with anything, but had to pay $210, $50 was the fine and the rest was court costs.

Ok.. my wrist is really hurting. Don't think there will be any update until next week

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Just me Rambling

I was just thinking how funny/weird it is that I've grown into who I am. I look back at my years in school and I like that person, but I am no longer that person. I look at who I was friends with, who I had a crush on, how I acted and how I treated other people. I was always nice and hung out with generally good people. I did have a group or two of friends that I would not associate myself with today. I also see where my crushes are in their life and I am glad that I didn't end up with them. Its one of those "I dodged a bullet" kind of moments.

I don't even talk to my best friend from kindergarten to middle school any more. She was the first person I had a sleepover with. I did gain a different group of friends outside of my other friends starting in the fourth grade and I stayed great friends with them until our senior year in high school. I still talk to them from time to time, but we have just grown apart. My best friend now.. I've known her since first grade, but didn't become friends until 7th grade. I slowly switched best friends and brought her into my second group of friends. I sort of feel like I'm growing out of her now. I feel like a little old lady compared to her. She still goes out to bars and clubs and drinks and parties. I never did any of that and I don't really want to. I enjoy the time I spend with my kids and my husband, but I don't think she understands that I don't want to do the things she does. But without her, I am basically friendless. I have a few gals that I talk to and hang out with, but none that are at best friend status. None that I can complain about my husband to or call up crying.
Everything was so simple in high school. I thought it was the toughest part of my life at the time, but looking back at it all now, it was a breeze. I didn't have a job or bills to pay. I did still have my brothers to look after and take care of, but its nothing like actually being a mother. I miss learning. I miss carrying a stack of books. I miss having my own homework and not making Lilly cry when she's frustrated over math.
I look back at when I first had Lilly. I knew what to do. There was never any question. It was just me and her against the world and we made it work. She grew up so fast. I'm now slowly selling her baby clothes and it makes me so sad. Not only has my little girl gown up, but by finally selling her clothes, I am acknowledging that I will not have another child after Zach. I found a pair of Zach's newborn socks the other day and I just sat and cried. Its funny how my priorities changed so fast. In a blink of an eye, it was no longer about me and I stepped up to the plate with no problems. I was prepared. I just think that one day I might look back and miss not being able to do what people my age do. I didn't get to finish college. I didn't get to 'party' even though its not really my thing. I don't regret my decisions, I'm happy with how I've grown and I'm happy with myself for making those decisions in the times that I did.
If I compare myself to my brothers... I kind of hate to say it, but I am better off than they are. I have 6 brothers. Mom told Tony the other day that she feels like she has failed all her kids but me. I hate to tell her, but I didn't succeed because of her, I did it all because of me. She didn't raise me to be like this.

I know I ran off track somewhere. This was just supposed to be about how I'm not who I used to be. What happened? I ramble sometimes. Whatever.
I've seen some of my past crushes on Facebook and I have to giggle. One is bald and so very religious. One is a drug addict. One lives off welfare. I've grown apart and out of my friends. All I really have is my kids and my hubby.... and I like it that way.

So... apparently I did something to my hand/wrist. I woke up yesterday morning and my left wrist hurt really bad. I wrapped it in an ACE bandage last night and woke up this morning to my entire hand swollen. My wrist hurts even more. I can't do simple things like type correctly, open a door.. I couldn't even hook my bra this morning. I had to take it off and hook it and then kind of crawl into it. I'm leaving work at noon to go get it looked at. People are telling me its carpal tunnel, but I looked it up and the pain and problems are on the opposite side of my wrist as what carpal tunnel is. I'm not saying its not carpal tunnel, I'm just saying that there is a very good possibility that its something else. I don't remember hitting my hand, bending it weird or anything. And I sleep with my arm, wrist and hand flat under my pillow... I guess I'll update you guys tomorrow, if I can.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Can't NOT be busy

Yet another busy weekend/week... I'll make this one short and just provide you with some pictures.

Thursday-I took this day off work. The day care was having breakfast with Santa so I went with the kids. We ate with Zach's best friend and his little girlfriend. I was the only parent that came in Lilly's age group. After Zach was done eating, he jumped down and went straight over to Santa before I could even get up from the table. Lilly hopped up and I got a good picture of them. I think Santa was the janitor and Zach loves him. Phil is his buddy. We got Phil a Christmas card and I gave it to Zach to give to him a few days later and he was running through the halls yelling, "PHIL! PHIL!" It was so cute. He really loved getting the card. I left the kids there and went home to wrap presents and work on the basement. I've got almost all of Lilly's old clothes sold now.

Friday- Hubby went Christmas shopping so me and the kids just hung out at the house after we got home.

Saturday-I picked Tony and Bre up and took them to the mall. We made it to town just in time to catch the Christmas parade. It was Zach's first and he loved it. Lilly was a bit upset because it started raining and we left in the middle of it. That night we went to the fire station for dinner and a visit from Santa. We couldn't keep Zach away from him.

Sunday- We went to a birthday party at one of those places with the bouncy houses and giant slides. Zach loved the slide and Lilly found a little girl her age to play with. Santa stopped by here too.

All last week, I searched the mall for Christmas shirts for the kids and came out empty handed. I finally asked a guy at Gap for kids why no one had anything and he said that having shirts with Christmas trees and Santa are just not politically correct. Serious? Really? What is wrong with people these days that they have to go and ruin everything for everyone. I broke down and just got Zach a red plaid shirt and Lilly wore her dress from last year.
Oh, and some pics of our Elf

Monday, December 3, 2012


I left work early Friday, but I headed to the mall. I picked up Donavan's shirt that I ordered on Black Friday, got Bre a shirt and CJ some cute string dolls that she likes. I then went and got a few more stocking suffers for mom's boyfriend's grandson that lives with them. I looked around for the kids some Christmas shirts since they are meeting Santa Saturday, but no one had any out yet.
I'm trying to get Zach to go to sleep in his own bed now. He sleeps in it, but he won't go to sleep in it. He likes to cuddle when he goes to sleep. Friday he did ok. It only took about an hour and a half. Saturday he didn't go to sleep until after 11:00 and last night it was 11:30 before he went to sleep. Its slowly coming together. At least we got him asleep in his own bed, now we have to work on an earlier time.
Saturday, I didn't really do much. We shopped at Walmart. CJ brought her mom down to see my house, but they only stayed a few minutes. Then one of hubby's friends came over and stayed most of the night. We ordered pizza and watched a movie. It was warm this weekend. I took Zach out and we played. He enjoyed finally being outside after a few weeks of coldness. Its funny..it snowed in October, but in December, we're running around without jackets on. The weatherman said that it was "April-like weather"
Sunday, hubby had to go to work and then he had a meeting at the fire station. I took Zach out again and we played soccer, he rode his little riding toy and we picked sticks up out of the yard. After lunch he took a nap and I wrapped some presents. I made sure I wrapped non-breakables and stuff that wasn't the kids. I wanted to see how Zach would act before I put anything else out. I forgot how long it took to wrap! 2 hours and only a few things done. I finally watched Resident Evil for the first time, too. After work, hubby went and bought a fireplace insert for our house. He was gone most of the day.
Last week, I was panicking on trying to figure out how I was going to pay a week of day care. I was behind and had to pay. I did a little too much Christmas shopping and used all my paycheck. I was going to use my Walmart Discover card to pay day care. Its a Discover card, I can use it anywhere. I got to the day care and realized that it was expired and I never got a new one. So.. I scrambled to come up with money. I sold a few more things that used to belong to Lilly, but it wasn't enough. Then, on Friday, I log in and look at my account online and it says that I have enough money. I was getting these emails from Amazon, but not paying attention. Apparently everything that I bought on Cyber Monday was free shipping and I had calculated everything WITH shipping. So.. I was excited. Friday I went in and paid a week of day care. Then, I get in today and look and I'm overdrawn. There's 2 charges on there that I don't remember, but they are just pending right now and won't know where they are from until they go through. Child support is late and I have no way to cover it. So.. I'll have 3 overdraft charges on my account. Hopefully after this paycheck on Friday, I'll get everything straightened out. Its my fault for not keeping up with it. I just hope that after all the charges, I'll have enough in my account to pay day care for 2 weeks and my satellite bill. I doubt it, but we'll see. I'm going to try to sell some more things. Between the money from selling stuff and whenever my child support decides to come in, I should be fine. Its just enough to cause panic in me right now. I hate that the very bank I work at is making a fortune off my overdraft fees. After the new year, I'm going head first into looking for a better job again.