Tuesday, April 12, 2016

One of the worst feelings in the world is having your heart broken. After my divorce, I ran into this awesome and kind guy. After everything I had went through in my failed marriage, I really needed this. He made me feel special. He made me feel loved. We were great together. We talked all day every day and saw each other often. I fell hard and fast for him and we were planning our future together.

That is until he admitted to cheating on me just one week ago. After knowing everything I had been through in the past and even telling him that its the one thing I will not tolerate, he goes and does it. He thought that he did a good thing by telling me, and I'm happy he did. It gave me the opportunity to end it before I got in too deep and it happened again. He swears that it won't, but after one time of being betrayed, I just can't be sure and I have to be careful.

I've cried for 2 days straight and haven't slept worth a shit. I'm really missing him today. My heart feels so heavy. Part of me wants to give him another chance, but I know I can't do that. I will forever have trust issues with him and you can't build a relationship like that.

What is wrong with me? Why do I keep getting in this situation? I'm hurting more today than I think I was when he told me. Its just hard. I hate this feeling with a passion. Once again I don't feel like I'm not good enough. I keep trying to tell myself that no man is worth this. I'm worth more than this. I deserve more than this. I keep saying it, but I have yet to believe it.

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