Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Tomorrow, tomorrow!!

Well..... the baby is due tomorrow and he's still holding on pretty strong. Been having contractions all day, but they are still a bit irregular. They are getting closer together, but they go like this. 11 minutes apart, 23 minutes apart, 35,5,3,15,10,8,17,8,15,11.......... That's from 7:00 up until now. Hubby was ready last night when I had 2 contractions 10 minutes apart. I told him AGAIN that it has to last an hour not just one time. Last night I was having some bad pain that brought me to my knees, but it wasn't contractions. It was the baby pushing his way out himself. So much pressure and pain. Tonight is a full maybe! I don't know if I believe that a full moon will do anything, but everyone else does. He might actually be born on his due date. I have a doc appt today at 1:00. I'm hoping for some good news. Last week was I dilated only 1 cm, I'm hoping for a little bit more.
When I picked Lilly up yesterday at the Y she said, "Mommy. I don't know what to do." I asked her what she meant and she said, "Well...I think you're gonna have the baby tomorrow, but I'm gonna be the super helper tomorrow at school and I don't want to miss that OR the baby." I asked her which one was going to be more exciting. "The baby." I said she can go see the baby if he decides to come out and I'm sure her teacher will let her be super helper when she gets back. That made her feel a little better.
I finally got through to mom to tell her she's not coming in the delivery room and that Lilly is to be the very first one back to see the baby. Mom finally said she understood.
I do think its almost time to go to the hospital. Since I've been writing this I've had a couple more contractions and they are all 11 minutes apart except for one that was 14 minutes apart. I'm gonna try to hold out until my doc appt. That's only 2 hours away. I think I can do it. Thinking about it is making me kinda scared and excited...I can't breathe. Just the thought that last night could have been the last night before the baby and yesterday was the last time that Lilly was the only kid in the house and the only one I had to worry about and play with. I kinda wanna cry. Things are gonna change so much. I'm afraid that I'm gonna let Lilly down. She is one of my main concerns. I don't want her to feel left out or overlooked. I'm gonna wear myself thin trying to keep everyone happy. But if that's what I gotta do, that's what I'm gonna do. I do kinda see her getting upset if she's at my house when I spend the night in the hospital. It would be her first night without me there in the house. I'm sure we would send her to hubby's sister's house or something and she would be fine with that, but something tells me she's gonna worry without me there. She is a worrier and she worries about me almost as much as I worry about her. Ok.... enough with the tears, I'm at work. I can't be crying at my desk again. I guess I'm gonna go eat lunch just in case its the last time I get to eat today.

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