Wednesday, May 30, 2012


I woke up last night crying from a horrible dream. I've had several dreams with this theme, but they are becoming more frequent these days. I just had one like this over the weekend. The main problem is that when I have a dream that is so vivid and seems so real like that, its like its stored in the dream cabinet in the back of my mind so it can pop out whenever it wants. There are places that I tend to dream about that I've never been. For instance... when I dream that I go to a Walmart, its always the same one, but one that I've never been to. When I dream about being around a lake, its always the same one, but I've never seen it in real life. I frequently visit the same places in my dreams that don't exist in my waking life. Anyway... the theme of my dream last night was the end of the world. This one was pretty bad though. I was riding with hubby when we saw a plane explode in the air then these giant metal ball things with faces started falling from the sky. Hubby called them something and drove away from it. Somehow we ended up getting Zach and I remember trying to run away to California. The government and army had come to help out, but was being over run. We ran through a water park that had tons of people just playing. I ran into my mom, my ex step dad and my grandpa and begged them to come with us to California. At this time, an army guy said that there's nothing there but doctors and lawyers. I smiled at him and he gave mom this huge UPS bag that was labled TRASH. She threw it over her shoulder. I assured them that if they didn't want to come with me they could stay there. We started walking away from the disaster as the ball things with faces started to fall from the sky again. I felt happy in that moment, we were getting away, I had most of my family. Then I said, "I wish I had my little girl with me. We need to find her." I had a feeling that she was close by and I was eager to get to her, but I woke up. I couldn't breathe. Tears were streaming down my face. The dream I had over the weekend was about the world ending, but we weren't running for our lives this time. We were at the Walmart I only go to in my dreams. We were shopping. For some reason I was trying to stock up on Orange soda, but hubby kept yelling at me to take it out of the cart. I've had so many dreams about the world comig to an end. I want to make this clear, though, I do not believe all these people that have the day predicted. I don't honestly think the world is going to end in my lifetime. I don't know why I keep having these dreams. I didn't watch anything bad before bed. I didn't eat anything unusual. The thing I did right before I went to sleep was to write an email, and it was just normal stuff.
I read somewhere about a year ago that dreams only last 30 seconds. At first I thought that was stupid because I know my dreams last longer than that. But I got to thinking this morning.... 30 seconds seem like the perfect time. I mean, we dream one right after the other, but each one only lasts 30 seconds. The theme is the same, but that explains how we get from one place to another all of a sudden. That's how I got from hubby's truck to being with Zach to the water park to the forest. There were other places, but I don't remember them as well. That's how in other dreams, I'll be sitting in my house and then somehow I'm at my grandma's. It all makes sense to me now.
Mr. Zachary slept until 3:30 this morning. (I woke up from my nightmare at midnight and went and checked on him) We got up and wouldn't go back down. He coughed some, so I gave him his sippy cup. We layed there for a bit and I thought he was asleep, so I got up to put him back to bed. As soon as I stood up he opened his eyes and babbled. I stood there, not moving. He closed his eyes. I layed him down and he started screaming. Not crying...screaming. Maybe he had a nightmare too. I patted his back for a few minutes and I thought he was out. He didn't make a noise until I crawled back into bed. I let him cry for a little bit before it started getting out of hand. I got back up and gave him his paci, he calmed down. I went back to bed (its 4:30 by now) and he started screaming again. Hubby got up this time and they fell asleep on the couch together. I think that's one main problem. Zach taking naps with us. He just gets so comfy, he don't want to sleep by himself. I'm guilty. I'll fall asleep on the couch with him. Its nice most times. Who doesn't like a baby sleeping on them? My alarm went off at 5:30 and I got ready. I went in there to wake up my babies and they were kind of gross. They laid there and got warm and sweated. Zach's hair was soaked, his whole left side that was up against Dad was soaked. I had to wash him off.
I have no idea what the fate of my car is going to be. I know we are going to put another motor in, but hubby can't decide from where. The garage that did it last time is charging us $1,100 for everything. The other garage is charging $1,600 for everything plus a one year warranty. I think he's leaning toward the warranty. For now, though, my car is still sitting at his parent's house. He needs to decide quickly. I can't keep riding with him. When we get Lilly on Friday, there will be no room for all of us in his tiny truck. We barely fit in there now.
I went all over the mall yesterday to find something for his birthday and came out empty handed. I have no idea what to get him. I did end up getting me a bra from Victoria's Secret. I was kind of excited about it. I needed a new one and I never owned anything from that store. I didn't have time to try it on since I was late getting back to work anyway. I went to wear it today and its way too small. I had to laugh. So, I'll be taking it back today and exchanging it. I hate bra shopping. I can never find one that fits. I really don't like clothes shopping for myself at all anyway. I love shopping for the kids. I had to talk myself out of getting Lilly a few outfits yesterday while I was in Sears. Everywhere is having great sales, but the kids don't really need clothes. I thought about getting her an outfit out of every pay check and then giving them to her for back to school clothes. I still might. I don't know.

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