16 days!

I threw an idea at my best friend, CJ yesterday. I was wanting to surprise her, but I needed her input. I want to make shirts for Black Friday. Hers would be green and mine would be purple, since that's our favorite colors, and it would say something clever on the front and then say "Black Friday 2011" on the back. We finally figured up all the years, and this year is our 5 year.... anniversary? Is that what you would call it? An anniversary? Well....that's what I'm going to call it since I can't come up with a better word. If you have a better word, leave it in the comments for me. 5 years. Wow..... its hard to believe. We've come a long way since that first year. We wasn't at all prepared on our first year. We didn't know what to expect. Huge lines, angry people, snow, rain, 3 hour waits, no sleep, getting lost in the crowd... we enjoy every single second of it now. I am more prepared this year. I have planned much better this time. I have pictures of the things I'm going to buy, that way I can just show CJ what to be on the lookout for instead of saying something like, "Can you help me find a VTech activity ball or the Loving Family Dollhouse rooms... I still need the parents room and try to find the van too." Pictures are much better. It helps me too.
The countdown is ON....16 days until we go shopping!
I am taking a vacation next week. Nothing special, I just need to take it or I lose it. I have next week, Black Friday and the entire week after Christmas scheduled off. Saves me on day care too. I do still have to pay for Lilly even though she's not going to be there. I was upset at first, but the front desk lady explained that the day care keeps the kids on snow days and early outs without charging extra. Not such a big deal anymore. I was putting that money back for Christmas, but Lilly is cheaper at the Y than Zach is. Oh, I also have this Friday off. Its Veteran's Day here and its a Federal holiday, so I stay home in hopes of sleeping in and probably visiting my great-grandpa's grave. He was a veteran and it would have been his birthday as well. I usually pick up my grandma and we take him flowers and sing him Happy Birthday. I won't have Lilly this year though.
I had a weird dream last night, in the short time I actually slept. A guy that I went to high school with and have kept in contact with in real life was in my dream. He wrote some kind of speech and I was going to read it in front of a bunch of people but the speech was horrible and I was booed off the stage. I ran to my house in into my bedroom, but it was my bedroom from the house I lived in when I was 13. There was also a dog somewhere in there and cold coffee as well. I remember Lilly running off with my coffee toward the end of my dream, but by then I was at my grandma's house. Weird.

The Countdown Continues

I have a doc appt today at 2:40..... wonder what she's gonna say.

I finally have the baby's clothes all put away. I cleaned out all of my clothes from one of the dressers and the closet and put them in storage bins that fit under the bed. The baby got one small drawer in the dresser and one big one and a little bit of space in the closet. I hung all the 0-3 month clothes up and the rest went in the dresser. All his itty bitty socks, burp towels, hats, mits, and bibs are in the little dresser drawer. I love little baby socks. That's all I bought him for Christmas. 2 pair of really fuzzy blue socks, and a 3 pair set... one pair was just blue but the others said, "I love Mommy" and "I love Daddy." His blankets and hooded towels and wash clothes are all in a box at the moment. I haven't made it THAT far yet. I feel like I've been washing and cleaning and hiding everything forever. I finally got to the point where the Christmas stuff was all put away and then we had the baby shower. Most of the stuff went to hubby's mom's house. I'm gonna have to go over there and get some of the essentials.
I bought thank you cards yesterday.... 40 of em. Turns out I only really need like 25. I thought more people showed up than that. Sure felt like it. Sure looked like it. Oh, well.... everything turned out great.
I had a dream last night that we were in the hospital and I was in the bed holding little one. We still didn't have a name, so I looked down at him and asked him what his name is...ya know...sorta just thinking out loud. Well.... HE REPLIED!! Casey Adelphos!! (we have already marked Casey off the list cuz neither one of us like it and I have no idea where the middle name came from) And while he was telling me his name, I looked in his mouth and he had all of his teeth!! And they weren't normal teeth, they were ALL POINTY!!! After I saw his teeth and heard the name, I looked up at hubby, told him I was sorry and I woke up. Weird.
Feeling better today than I have in a long time. The only problem I'm having is lack of activity from the baby. I'm getting a bit worried. His activity level has gone way down. I don't feel him move that much. The only times I can really feel him like I use to is when I lay down at night to go to sleep. Most times he will move a lot then, but last night he only moved a little bit. I'm gonna have to ask the doc about that. (Yeah, as soon as I typed that I get a good kick.... trying to make me out as a liar, I see) One night, though, he kicked so hard to the right that it almost made me roll over from my back to my side. Not kidding.
My swelling is getting worse..... sucks big time.
Lilly is getting more and more excited about her brother. I just can't wait. I was putting into thought of another kid, even though hubby says we are done. I do want a bigger family, but after some thought, I'm not so sure now. I can't see myself doing things with another girl that I do or have done with Lilly. That's our stuff, that's what WE do, that's for me and her. And I think I will feel the same way with this one. Which makes me super happy that's its a boy. Does any of that make sense? Ok, imagine 2 of your closest friends of that are either both girls or both guys. Do you or would you do the exact same thing with one that you do with the other. Lets say you and girl A have a favorite store to shop in and go there every time you are together...would you take girl B there also? You and girl A have a hilarious inside joke, do you share it with girl B? You and boy A both like this one particular band, do you take boy B to their concert? Maybe its just me....

Odd dreams

Tree came up yesterday, decorate it today. Would have decorated it last night, but we spent most of the time trying to make room for the tree.
I had a dream last night that we accidently had Christmas a week early. It took me by surprise cuz I didn't even have all the presents bought or wrapped or anything. I remember talking to Lilly after she opened all of hers and telling her that I have a big one for her at my work and will bring it home in a couple days. It was just horrible. How do you accidently celebrate a week early when your not even ready to begin with? I remember feeling so bad that I wasn't prepared and we went about it all wrong and ruined Lilly's Christmas. I also remember being so confused I didn't know what day it was until my dream was almost over.
Had another dream last night that I was kind of a manager or coach or something for this one team that had all these violations and I was trying to figure out how to fix em. Wait...no...I think I was part of the team, like a player. We had shiny metal helmets that reflected the sun into everyone's eyes. I remember the blinding feeling when it went into my eyes.
I didn't sleep well last night. My throat kept getting dry, so I had to get up for something to drink which caused me to go pee shortly after. My nose was stuffy, my legs were tingly and I even had a really bad leg cramp last night too. Those are happening more often than they should. Its almost an every night thing. Maybe I need to eat more bananas. I am just so exhausted today. I wish I could crawl back into bed and try to sleep again. Its getting to the point where I am just so wore out every day. I don't get any kind of energy until I'm already home from work. I have to force myself to get up and do stuff here at work. I ache all over and I'm just so incredibly tired.
The baby is or has dropped already. I can see a big difference in the shape of my belly. He just turned head down last week. I can feel it when I stand or walk too. My cravings for coffee and milk have gone away. Now I just crave sleep.

I'm going crazy

I don't really think I have much to say today. Oh, I did get my hair cut. 16 inches cut off and donated to Locks of Love. My hair was long enough for me to sit on, and now its a little above my mid-back. Big difference. I kinda like it, but I miss my hair. I was very attached to it. I can't remember the last time I had it cut this short. Over the years, I would get a trim but not a cut. I think 10 years ago was the last time it was cut. Kinda sad.
Hubby is gonna be working a lotta over time this week. I already miss him.
Got to hang out with my bff for a few hours Saturday. We didn't really do much, but it was nice to get to see her. We didn't really have any time.
Friday a local fire station burned to the ground. Yes, ironic, I know...I heard that a million times already. They lost everything....but its not as big a deal as everyone is making it out to be. Yes, they lost 2 trucks and an ATV and their equipment, but that area has 2 other fire stations. I think that's enough. They are all volunteer. I know that may sound heartless, me saying its not a big deal...but I think instead of rebuilding, they could just split their guys between the other 2 stations. But.... there's always a but.... And I kinda think this is ridiculous..... Extreme Makeover has contacted that fire station about rebuilding. Really? Ok I know that still sounds heartless...I just don't know how to express what I'm wanting to say without it coming out mean..... They don't cover a huge area, they aren't in a city or even the suburbs, there's two other stations that cover the exact same area (which I thought was pointless when I first heard about it a few years ago... hubby's fire station covers a much much bigger area and they are busier..but they only have one fire station, not 3)......I don't know. There hasn't been any word yet if that fire station is going to take Extreme Makeover up on their offer, but we all know they are going to. Oh, and ps...no one was hurt in that fire. The station was empty when it caught fire.
I thought in dreams you weren't suppose to be able to die. Well...I did. I was shot right in the head at point blank. I can't remember the entire dream, but this moment sticks in my head. There was people that I didn't know with guns, I have no idea where we were, and they were going to shoot hubby for some reason, but I made them take me instead. They lady took her gun, pointed it right between my eyes and shot.....and I didn't wake up. I do remember that horrible sensation and I can't get it out of my head. All I could see when I got shot, was kinda like someone took a picture of that "scene" and that's all I could see, that gun pointed at my head. I told hubby a little of my dream. I told him I was shot and didn't wake up, I didn't tell him that I took the bullet for him.
All of my dreams have been very very odd lately. Going to a cemetery, but having to go through a maze to get there..... Lilly getting kidnaped, well, kinda. We were walking, somewhere, and she got brainwashed and didn't recognize me, but in the end I got her back. Me dying in my dream.... the town I grew up in blowing up one building at a time.....Steve Carrell in the witness protection program.... Desperate Housewives and a dead guy from Grey's Anatomy...... Me selling a business for only $75.....They are all just getting weird. There's no "normal" dreams anymore. They are all bizarre. They are so crazy that I can't even try to explain them. I can't tell you what happened from beginning to end, I can only explain a small part of each dream and even that is hard to do. I just wonder what they all mean, if they mean anything or if its just where I'm pregnant and its making me crazy.

pictures of Lilly

I'm actually scared. The more I think about having this child, the more scared I get. I want to be induced. I was with Lilly. Mostly did it with Lilly because her father was going out of town and I didn't want him to be gone when I went into labor...but everything just went so well. I want to be induced this time too, but hubby doesn't want me to be. When I told him that I wanted to, he seriously got upset. I told him my worries and why its better than waiting. There's a room already waiting for you, you get there early enough to get the drugs, I won't have to worry about what I'm going to do with Lilly...who's gonna pick her up from school or who's going to watch her, I won't have to worry about getting a hold of everyone...they will already know when to be there (mom is so hard to find sometimes and I'm scared that I won't be able to find her when I go into labor..if I'm induced, she'll know when to be there, and what if there's power outage), my bff lives 5 hours away-she's gotta know when to be there. I won't have to worry about the road conditions on the way there (baby is due in January. I'm worried about all the snow and wrecks slowing us down), I don't want to be at work or out shopping when my water breaks, I want to know that hubby is right there with me without me having to track him down (volunteer fire fighter in the middle of winter=never home), I will have my doctor there waiting for me and not just whatever doctor is on call that night/day, I can go ahead and schedule my maternity leave....there are so many reasons and worries why I want to be induced and not just sit and wait. Yeah, I'd kinda like to be able to say that I waited and everything went ok...but we can't predict what's going to happen. His argument is he doesn't want to pick a birthday, he wants the birthday to be whenever the baby chooses...not us. And he says, "Everything could work out fine. My sister was only in labor for 3 hours with her second kid." How does that reassure me that everything is going to be ok? If everything goes that fast, I won't have time for anything. No time to call anyone, no time to find somewhere to put Lilly, no time to be given the drugs, no time to get to the hospital and have a room.......yes, I worry. I know, I know....there are women everyday not getting induced and they are just fine.........well...... I don't know if I'm going to be just fine. I have legitimate worries. He doesn't have to worry about getting a hold of his family, or having the right doctor, or not getting the drugs, or not having a room. I just wish he would understand and share my worries instead of telling me not to worry. This is one of the scariest thing for me to go through and I need to be in control of something, even if it is just the day. Even when I was going into the hospital with Lilly, I stopped right in front of the doors and almost had a panic attack. I'm so incredibly scared.

Putting that aside now....... I kept having dreams that I was late to work last night...but I kept waking up and I had plenty of time. Then, when I wasn't having a dream about being late, I wake up.....and I'm late. My alarm clock was making some funny noise, like a really weak spaced out beep, twenty minutes late. I didn't have very much time to do anything this morning. Me and Lilly got up and rushed. I did get to work around the same time I usually do...give or take a few minutes. But dreaming about being late and then I was running late.....how weird is that??!!

Since I showed off a picture of my new baby yesterday, I thought I would share pictures of my first baby with you today.
The most recent one of her is the one of both of us together, the head shot. Yep...that's a piece of gum hanging out of her mouth. I do have more recent ones, just not on this computer. The top one is of course my wedding day.

happy mother's day

Tomorrow's gonna be a bit busy. Wake up with the sun, take a shower, get ready, get Lilly ready, feed her breakfast and then be on our way. First stop is my grandma's, gonna drop off her Mother's Day card and a huge picture I printed off of Lilly and my nephew. Next stop is to meet mom and give her the photo album I made (I had Lilly wrap it up last night) and her cards. Then she is taking us up to the land she just bought. I get to see all of my little brothers tomorrow!!! Let Lilly play in the mud down there. She and her boyfriend are trying to fix the land up a bit, ya know...mow it, remove any unwanted trees, etc, before they move there. She's moving her trailer there and he is staying on the land, but I don't know if there is already a house there or if he is going to move one there. Mom likes her space...after 6 kids and 3 husbands she wants to live by herself now, but her bf will be nearby. At least I don't have to worry about her so much, then. Right now she lives up on a big hill by herself and no neighbors for miles. She has had 3 heart attacks and even triple bypass surgery. So, yeah...I worry.

Went to Mother's Day Tea yesterday. I don't know why they called it that.... they had fruit and punch, but I guess they couldn't really call it Mother's Day punch. The class sang a song about Mom's that went to the tune of Bingo. Ya know...the song about the dog named Bingo. It was cute. I got some good pictures out of it. Lilly kept trying to eat this one strawberry that she said was really sour, so there are a few pictures of her making a sour face.

Got Lilly her graduation dress yesterday. After trying on like 10 dresses, she finally picked one. Its got a green undershirt and the dress is strappy with butterflies all over it. Its green. She loves butterflies. Green use to be her favorite color, but now its purple cuz that's what mine is.

Had a dream last night that I had just had a baby. Literally..... just gave birth. Didn't go to the hospital. I was holding the baby and my hubby and mom came in ( I have no idea where exactly I was in this dream, maybe at home...I don't know for sure) and I told them that we needed to go to the hospital. First I was freaking out because we didn't have a car seat for the baby and made them go to my storage building to get one. They bring back something that looks like the car seat that I have, but it was paper. I started crying and told them that I'm going to be a horrible mother to this child because I don't even have a car seat for him. (oh, yeah...it was a boy) So I took him and we walked to the hospital, but by the time I got there he was like 5 years old. I looked down and he just jumped out of my arms. That's when I woke up. Weird.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be sure to check out http://www.1000awesomethings.com/ today. Its about hanging out with your mom.