Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Half of the roads to get out of the city I work in were closed yesterday and it took me half an hour to get out. I had a bad day yesterday anyway and this just added icing to the cake.

I ate some grilled chicken yesterday without any problems. Hopefully getting sick over meat was just a few day thing. I don't know what I'd do if meat continuously made me sick. How would I cook for everyone? How would I go grocery shopping? Hopefully its over. I'm always hungry. I wake up hungry, eat a fruit salad for breakfast...couple hours later I'm hungry again. I hold off until lunch time, have a salad or sandwich, and a couple hours later I'm hungry. Eat an orange or pop tart or something small...and by the time I get home I feel like I haven't eaten all day. Ate some grilled chicken and a baked potato and sure enough, like 2 hours later I was starving. So I ate a cheese the time I get ready to go to bed, I'm starving again. I ignore it and try to sleep, but my growling stomach wakes me several times at night. I wake up... I'm hungry. Its such a vicious cycle. And I don't understand why I'm so incredibly hungry ALL the time. I don't really think that's normal. I'm only 12 weeks along. The baby is so tiny, I shouldn't be like this already. I'm gonna have to write down a bunch of questions and get them ready for the doc next week. Being hungry, being in pain, the weird sickness around meat.... I know some of it may be normal, but I'm gonna ask anyway. Everything is just so different this time around. Like I've said before, my pregnancy with Lilly was wonderful.... so far its the opposite. I'm almost always miserable, I'm always hungry, always tired, so emotional and crying all the time over anything and everything, all the pain....

Crying....over.....everything. I cried the other night because I was just so happy. I cried in traffic yesterday because I was so frustrated. I cry when I watch tv. I cry when I think too much. I cry when I'm mad. I cry when I'm tired. I hate it.

Hubby is suppose to call the lady at the bank about our loan today....if he remembers or isn't too mad at me. I asked him yesterday at like 3 am to not play games on his phone when I get home from work at all. I even specifically said not to wait until I fall asleep and then jump on the phone.... and that's just what he did. I wake up at 12:30 last night and there he is playing on his phone. I get up and go to the couch. I'm so mad. He finally puts everything down and has the audacity to ask me what's wrong. After about a half an hour I go back to bed. When I wake up to get ready for work, I write him a little note saying how disappointed I was that he couldn't even do that one thing for me. He is ALWAYS on that damn phone playing games or getting on facebook. I knew it was a huge mistake getting these phones. He's up til 3 or 4 in the morning every day playing around on his phone....and then he sleeps until noon. I asked him not to play around on his phone because I'm tired of fighting it for attention and always losing. I'm sure Lilly feels the same way. He was even playing around on it while playing with Lilly last week. Phone in one hand, toy in the other, but his eyes were on his phone. I asked him that night to please not be on it so much while me and Lilly are home, but that's when he started staying up late playing on it. I will never win. He has all day while I'm at work to do whatever. I don't know. It just really upset me to find him playing on it after I asked him not to. One day, that's all I wanted.

My tummy is already growling this morning and me being scatter brained lately forgot to pack any kind of breakfast. I'm gonna have to go somewhere and get something..... wait.... I just found an orange.

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