grrrr

So I have court today. I have to go back today to deal with the new custody arrangements that I'm trying to get. As its set now, Lilly's father gets her on Thursdays and brings her back Sundays at 6 pm and I don't have any weekends. I want it changed so he gets her on Fridays brings her back Sundays at 4:30 pm and I get one weekend a month. Not too bad of a change, right? It gives her a routine and time so she's not rushed around, she won't get in such bad moods all the time, or get confused about what's going on.... but..... yes, there is always a but... her father doesn't want anything to change. He lives in a whole different school district like 30 miles away from her school. I don't get any weekends, and our days together are always rushed. When I get her back at 6 on Sunday, it gives us half an hour to visit my grandparents (that's where the drop off point is), a half an hour drive, and then an hour before her bedtime to spend time with her, talk to her, get her in the shower, feed her and calm her down. All of this usually puts her in such a bad mood and she ends up crying. I would like to get her back just a little earlier so things aren't so rushed. I would like to have at least one weekend a month with her so I can actually spend time with her that doesn't consist of doing homework, picking out school clothes and stuff like that. It would be nice to actually have quality time with her, take her to visit family, do fun things with her, anything... But her father doesn't care. He only cares about what he wants not what is good for Lilly. We got into a big fight Saturday about the time I would get her back on Sunday. He said that he isn't dropping her off any earlier than 6 and I told him that she has school the next day. He didn't care. I told him how she acts when things are rushed. He didn't care. All he cared about was his time with her and from what Lilly tells me he doesn't spend that much time with her when he has her anyway. She is always at her grandma's house, her sister's grandma's house, or playing with her sister while her father NAPS!!
You know.... I see my mom once a month if I'm lucky. I don't go see her unless I have Lilly and I have to take days off work or go on holidays to see her cuz I don't have weekends. I couldn't tell ya the last time she got to spend any time outside of school with any of her friends and I don't remember the last time she saw my dad. I try to spend as much time with her as possible, but time is limited and things are so rushed. Between her school and my work and her going away to her father's house... there's no time for anything but bad moods, crying, frustration and 10 minutes of play right before bedtime. We need a better, more organized routine allowing for more time for Lilly. School is a very important thing and I just don't think her father is taking the situation as seriously as he should. Instead of being concerned about HIS time he should be concerned about LILLY'S time.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


Yeah...I have just a few more hours of pulling my hair out before court. I'm already getting anxious and a bit upset.

I have no idea what else is going on....... this seems to be consuming all of my thoughts since yesterday when I found out I had court today. A little more notice would have been nice.