I finally broke down last night and told hubby some stuff that has been bothering me. I don't mean I broke down as in I caved, or I gave in...no I broke down. Hysterical crying, high pitched sobs....all of it. I told him how stressed out I've been, how extremely tired I am, how much I worry about money, how I miss talking to my mom, how much he's NOT at home, how much I need his help, and how I just feel helpless sometimes and how I feel like I'm suppose to be able to do everything and I feel horrible when I can't. The talk didn't really accomplish anything, but at least its out there. He did tell me that he has been feeling like he should be doing more, which sorta made me more upset. If he felt like he should be helping me out, then why hasn't he? There are so many little things that he could do and it would help out tremendously.
He still believes that we can afford a house. I don't really see how we can when we are broke now. I can barely afford day care for the 2 kids and put gas in my car due to the health insurance that is taken out my paychecks. I need a raise, a good one, for this to work out and me not worry so much. He said that he knows that part of my frustration is because of the small apartment, and he's right. I hate it there. I like the location of our place, its very convenient and there are no big hills to go over to get to the main road during winter, but its just too small for us. I don't have any room to put anything away, the kids don't have a bedroom of their own, I can't even find the dinning table right now cuz there's so much crap piled on it. Our love seat is full of stuff too, that's where I put the car seat when its not in use among other things. Lilly's toys are strewn about the bedroom. I've tried putting them in boxes, but she keeps getting more toys and I have no more room for boxes. She even has some under her bed. I feel bad for her cuz she can't access all of her toys and there are even a bunch of toys in my storage building that she hasn't seen in years.
Zach was talking up a storm yesterday. I recorded some of it on my phone, but I can't send any of it so I can't share it on here. So cute though. He was babbling for hours. It started while we were watching wrestling and continued all the way through a movie. We had a good weekend with him. He wasn't too fussy and was very smiley. We went out Saturday to Outback and he was an angel. Love their Bloomin' Onion...mmmmmmmmmm. Zach was sucking on hubby's thumb, I got a pic. We even had him pounding on the table and he was laughing so much.
Lilly should be back from her zoo trip with her father, but I won't see her until Wednesday. I'm being nice and letting him keep her a couple extra days. I hope she had fun. I didn't call during their trip to check up on her cuz I didn't want to interrupt any fun that they were having. I'm sure if something went wrong, if she was sick or wanted to call me or something like that, he would have called me. I'm going to text him today to check up on her.
Took Zach yesterday to get Easter candy and stuff. Lilly's getting some candy, a Wii dance game, a baseball that comes back to you (its on a string) and a baseball washcloth. Zach is getting no candy...ok I might throw one or two suckers in there, an outfit that says Happy Easter, 3 jars of baby food, 2 toys, 2 books and some ready made formula bottles. He hasn't had baby food yet and I figured its time to start him out. I had him eating some rice cereal this weekend. He wasn't too happy about it. He's almost 3 months. That's about when I started Lilly out. Baby food and rice cereal is way cheaper than formula. We replaced 1 full bottle yesterday with the cereal and 1/2 of another.
Today we are having a 31 fund raiser here at the bank. If you would like to buy something let me know in the comments and I will post a link. Part of the money spent will go to the American Cancer Society. Here's a site.... http://www.mythirtyone.com/ This site isn't for the fund raiser, its not a link to our host, its just the main site, so if you'd like to help us out, lemme know. Its all purses and tote bags and lunch totes and such.
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