I lied

So, here's just a quick post of pictures of Christmas with the kids and stuff. Details will come later.

Christmas Time!!

So, I'll be off work until the New Year and probably won't update either of my blogs. Sorry... but I'm taking the time to be with my kids.

I heard that there's a snow storm headed my way. I've seen pictures today of what has hit in the West so far and I'm sort of excited for finally getting snow. Although, if it gets too bad, I won't get to travel to see my mom, 2 brothers and grandparents on Saturday. But.. that can certainly hold off for a few days. I'm glad that we have a fire place and I don't really have to worry about how I'm going to keep the kids warm if the power goes off. Cooking will be troublesome, but at least they'll be warm. I'm also prepared to take in others if needed.

Hubby opened Lilly's electric scooter to get it charged before Christmas and there was a bolt missing! He was suggesting that I take it back to the store, but I told him to just get a bolt and put it in there. He did and its fine. Yeah, it makes me mad that I paid that much for the toy and there were parts missing, but its an easy fix and no fuss was needed.

I have all the gifts wrapped except what is going to be from Santa and the big toys from us, but I don't think we are going to wrap the big toys. I'm not really sure what hubby has in mind for those.

I have the next few days to prepare my house to do Christmas Eve breakfast for hubby's family. Part of me wants to invite my grandparents because I know they'll come down. But that would leave my uncle and one brother alone on Christmas Eve because I know they won't come. Its only breakfast, but I don't want them to think that I'm excluding them. Its a tough call really. The other thing is seating. If hubby's family comes down, that's another 8 people. Count them and us and that's 12. I only have enough seating for 7 in the living room. For eating, I have enough for 10...11 if I put Zach in his high chair instead of at his table. If I invite my grandparents, that's another 2 and if my brother and uncle do decide to show up, that another 2. I wouldn't really think it to be a big deal, but hubby's nephews and niece just don't listen to anything and they'll be running around all crazy and I can just imagine them tearing up my kids new stuff... which they probably will. I'm just being grumpy.

Ok, I've slacked off most of the day. I now have 2 hours to get caught up so I can go on vacation.

I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. OR Happy Holidays... whichever you prefer. I hope you all stay safe.

Also, tomorrow at 9:30 am, please have a moment of silence in remembrance of the tragedy in Connecticut. My heart still breaks for them, and always will.

Sadness

So many things... so many thoughts.

Last week there was a gas line explosion near where I live. It was the town where my dad lives. 5 houses were lost, but thankfully no one was home at the time. The fire scorched the interstate and the road had to be repaved. Lilly's school is taking up donations, so I'll be donating what little I can to help out.

 

As all of you should know by now, a terrible tragedy happened last week. I cannot express just how saddened, heartbroken and sickened I am at what happened. Every time I think about it, I burst out in tears. I cannot see how anyone could ever do what that gunman did. 26 lives.... most of them children. I pray for their families every night and they will forever be in my prayers. No one should ever have to experience that. That could have just as easily happened anywhere else. I vow to make sure that my children know what to do in times of emergencies. I had a talk with Lilly last night. She had heard about the shootings, but it didn't really click in her mind. We talked about it for a while, I told her about the heroes that lost their lives while trying to save the kids. I told her about the little girl who was the sole survivor in the classroom because she played dead. Lilly was ok talking about this. I then proceeded to tell her that I am going to make sure that she is prepared no matter what happens. If we are in a car wreck and I get knocked out, if there's a fire at our house, if someone breaks into our house, if someone tried to take her, if a shooter is in her school... I told her we are going to have a plan for it all. I know you can never fully prepare for such things, but I'm going to try my best. After she realized that these things can happen to her, she burst out crying. I reassured her that this was just for her protection. It may never happen, but its good to be prepared. I'm going to teach her to use my phone, we're going to make a fire plan for the house, she's going to learn to use my gun and she's getting her own .22 on her birthday this March. I will teach her about gun safety. She was worried about if our house caught on fire that our pictures would burn. I told her that all of our pictures that we have printed out are all also on a disc and she can go with me next Friday to put them in our safe deposit box at my work. That made her feel a little better. I told her that its her job to be prepared, but its my job to make sure everyone is always safe. My mom told me to get Lilly a fire proof safe so she can put some stuff in there. I think that's a really good idea. She'll be getting one of those soon.

It is a scary thing.... you go through life thinking nothing bad can ever happen to you. I don't want to scare my children, but I want them to live in reality and be prepared for anything. I don't want them going through life thinking everyone is good....because they aren't. I don't want them thinking they are invincible. They are fragile.

 

I also want to take this opportunity to thank every teacher, every day care worker, every person that works with kids that loves and treats them as their own.

OW

The doctor said that my wrist is just inflamed and gave me a wrist splint and some anti-inflammatory medication. He said that if its not better in 10 days, that I'll go in for x-rays. Something tells me that he really doesn't think that its just inflammation, but whatever. It still hurts, but its not swollen any more.

We took the kids last night to see a festival of Christmas lights. Zach loved it, but Lilly complained.
This one is going to be short since its difficult for me to type with my brace on.
Might be going Saturday to finish my Christmas shopping. I still have to get the kids one more thing that goes with something else I bought them, my brother and his family their gift. Next weekend is when we are going to have our Christmas with my mom.
Seth had to go to day court today. He got sited for selling alcohol to a minor during a police sting. He was freaking out. My step dad came with him and I walked across the street during my lunch to go too. Nothing is going on his record, he wasn't really charged with anything, but had to pay $210, $50 was the fine and the rest was court costs.

Ok.. my wrist is really hurting. Don't think there will be any update until next week

Just me Rambling

I was just thinking how funny/weird it is that I've grown into who I am. I look back at my years in school and I like that person, but I am no longer that person. I look at who I was friends with, who I had a crush on, how I acted and how I treated other people. I was always nice and hung out with generally good people. I did have a group or two of friends that I would not associate myself with today. I also see where my crushes are in their life and I am glad that I didn't end up with them. Its one of those "I dodged a bullet" kind of moments.

I don't even talk to my best friend from kindergarten to middle school any more. She was the first person I had a sleepover with. I did gain a different group of friends outside of my other friends starting in the fourth grade and I stayed great friends with them until our senior year in high school. I still talk to them from time to time, but we have just grown apart. My best friend now.. I've known her since first grade, but didn't become friends until 7th grade. I slowly switched best friends and brought her into my second group of friends. I sort of feel like I'm growing out of her now. I feel like a little old lady compared to her. She still goes out to bars and clubs and drinks and parties. I never did any of that and I don't really want to. I enjoy the time I spend with my kids and my husband, but I don't think she understands that I don't want to do the things she does. But without her, I am basically friendless. I have a few gals that I talk to and hang out with, but none that are at best friend status. None that I can complain about my husband to or call up crying.
Everything was so simple in high school. I thought it was the toughest part of my life at the time, but looking back at it all now, it was a breeze. I didn't have a job or bills to pay. I did still have my brothers to look after and take care of, but its nothing like actually being a mother. I miss learning. I miss carrying a stack of books. I miss having my own homework and not making Lilly cry when she's frustrated over math.
I look back at when I first had Lilly. I knew what to do. There was never any question. It was just me and her against the world and we made it work. She grew up so fast. I'm now slowly selling her baby clothes and it makes me so sad. Not only has my little girl gown up, but by finally selling her clothes, I am acknowledging that I will not have another child after Zach. I found a pair of Zach's newborn socks the other day and I just sat and cried. Its funny how my priorities changed so fast. In a blink of an eye, it was no longer about me and I stepped up to the plate with no problems. I was prepared. I just think that one day I might look back and miss not being able to do what people my age do. I didn't get to finish college. I didn't get to 'party' even though its not really my thing. I don't regret my decisions, I'm happy with how I've grown and I'm happy with myself for making those decisions in the times that I did.
If I compare myself to my brothers... I kind of hate to say it, but I am better off than they are. I have 6 brothers. Mom told Tony the other day that she feels like she has failed all her kids but me. I hate to tell her, but I didn't succeed because of her, I did it all because of me. She didn't raise me to be like this.

I know I ran off track somewhere. This was just supposed to be about how I'm not who I used to be. What happened? I ramble sometimes. Whatever.
I've seen some of my past crushes on Facebook and I have to giggle. One is bald and so very religious. One is a drug addict. One lives off welfare. I've grown apart and out of my friends. All I really have is my kids and my hubby.... and I like it that way.



So... apparently I did something to my hand/wrist. I woke up yesterday morning and my left wrist hurt really bad. I wrapped it in an ACE bandage last night and woke up this morning to my entire hand swollen. My wrist hurts even more. I can't do simple things like type correctly, open a door.. I couldn't even hook my bra this morning. I had to take it off and hook it and then kind of crawl into it. I'm leaving work at noon to go get it looked at. People are telling me its carpal tunnel, but I looked it up and the pain and problems are on the opposite side of my wrist as what carpal tunnel is. I'm not saying its not carpal tunnel, I'm just saying that there is a very good possibility that its something else. I don't remember hitting my hand, bending it weird or anything. And I sleep with my arm, wrist and hand flat under my pillow... I guess I'll update you guys tomorrow, if I can.

Can't NOT be busy

Yet another busy weekend/week... I'll make this one short and just provide you with some pictures.

Thursday-I took this day off work. The day care was having breakfast with Santa so I went with the kids. We ate with Zach's best friend and his little girlfriend. I was the only parent that came in Lilly's age group. After Zach was done eating, he jumped down and went straight over to Santa before I could even get up from the table. Lilly hopped up and I got a good picture of them. I think Santa was the janitor and Zach loves him. Phil is his buddy. We got Phil a Christmas card and I gave it to Zach to give to him a few days later and he was running through the halls yelling, "PHIL! PHIL!" It was so cute. He really loved getting the card. I left the kids there and went home to wrap presents and work on the basement. I've got almost all of Lilly's old clothes sold now.

Friday- Hubby went Christmas shopping so me and the kids just hung out at the house after we got home.

Saturday-I picked Tony and Bre up and took them to the mall. We made it to town just in time to catch the Christmas parade. It was Zach's first and he loved it. Lilly was a bit upset because it started raining and we left in the middle of it. That night we went to the fire station for dinner and a visit from Santa. We couldn't keep Zach away from him.

Sunday- We went to a birthday party at one of those places with the bouncy houses and giant slides. Zach loved the slide and Lilly found a little girl her age to play with. Santa stopped by here too.

All last week, I searched the mall for Christmas shirts for the kids and came out empty handed. I finally asked a guy at Gap for kids why no one had anything and he said that having shirts with Christmas trees and Santa are just not politically correct. Serious? Really? What is wrong with people these days that they have to go and ruin everything for everyone. I broke down and just got Zach a red plaid shirt and Lilly wore her dress from last year.
Oh, and some pics of our Elf

Bllllllaaaahhhhh

I left work early Friday, but I headed to the mall. I picked up Donavan's shirt that I ordered on Black Friday, got Bre a shirt and CJ some cute string dolls that she likes. I then went and got a few more stocking suffers for mom's boyfriend's grandson that lives with them. I looked around for the kids some Christmas shirts since they are meeting Santa Saturday, but no one had any out yet.

I'm trying to get Zach to go to sleep in his own bed now. He sleeps in it, but he won't go to sleep in it. He likes to cuddle when he goes to sleep. Friday he did ok. It only took about an hour and a half. Saturday he didn't go to sleep until after 11:00 and last night it was 11:30 before he went to sleep. Its slowly coming together. At least we got him asleep in his own bed, now we have to work on an earlier time.

Saturday, I didn't really do much. We shopped at Walmart. CJ brought her mom down to see my house, but they only stayed a few minutes. Then one of hubby's friends came over and stayed most of the night. We ordered pizza and watched a movie. It was warm this weekend. I took Zach out and we played. He enjoyed finally being outside after a few weeks of coldness. Its funny..it snowed in October, but in December, we're running around without jackets on. The weatherman said that it was "April-like weather"

Sunday, hubby had to go to work and then he had a meeting at the fire station. I took Zach out again and we played soccer, he rode his little riding toy and we picked sticks up out of the yard. After lunch he took a nap and I wrapped some presents. I made sure I wrapped non-breakables and stuff that wasn't the kids. I wanted to see how Zach would act before I put anything else out. I forgot how long it took to wrap! 2 hours and only a few things done. I finally watched Resident Evil for the first time, too. After work, hubby went and bought a fireplace insert for our house. He was gone most of the day.

Last week, I was panicking on trying to figure out how I was going to pay a week of day care. I was behind and had to pay. I did a little too much Christmas shopping and used all my paycheck. I was going to use my Walmart Discover card to pay day care. Its a Discover card, I can use it anywhere. I got to the day care and realized that it was expired and I never got a new one. So.. I scrambled to come up with money. I sold a few more things that used to belong to Lilly, but it wasn't enough. Then, on Friday, I log in and look at my account online and it says that I have enough money. I was getting these emails from Amazon, but not paying attention. Apparently everything that I bought on Cyber Monday was free shipping and I had calculated everything WITH shipping. So.. I was excited. Friday I went in and paid a week of day care. Then, I get in today and look and I'm overdrawn. There's 2 charges on there that I don't remember, but they are just pending right now and won't know where they are from until they go through. Child support is late and I have no way to cover it. So.. I'll have 3 overdraft charges on my account. Hopefully after this paycheck on Friday, I'll get everything straightened out. Its my fault for not keeping up with it. I just hope that after all the charges, I'll have enough in my account to pay day care for 2 weeks and my satellite bill. I doubt it, but we'll see. I'm going to try to sell some more things. Between the money from selling stuff and whenever my child support decides to come in, I should be fine. Its just enough to cause panic in me right now. I hate that the very bank I work at is making a fortune off my overdraft fees. After the new year, I'm going head first into looking for a better job again.

Um....

The weekend is here!!!! Nothing really planned. I think hubby wants to get his Christmas shopping done, but that's it.
I just sort of fell asleep at my desk, so I'm updating my blog to help keep me awake. I only have about an hour left. I get to leave a little early today since I'm at my 40 hours for the week.
I brought in my little 3 1/2 foot Christmas tree to work and put it up in our new space. I put it on one of the desks that we aren't using at the moment. A few of the girls are going to bring in ornaments. I think I'm going to look through all my decorations and see what all I have. I might bring some stuff in to decorate the entire space if I can. I'd like to, but I don't think I have very much. I never really had space to put decorations and hubby said that after the holidays, we'll get some while its on sale. So this year, we just have our tree. We will go get some outside lights to put up, but that'll be it for now. After, we're going to get a bigger tree. Our 6 foot tree just looks tiny in our new house. I was admiring it last night. I really do think it looks nice this year. I actually have room to step back and look at it this year. I love the colored lights and the red garland. I'm not a fan of blinking lights, but I don't hate them. I think that's what hubby and Lilly agreed to for the outside and I'm ok with that.
I have moved our elf, Dee and that's where he'll stay until Monday when Lilly sees him. I'm going to work on being more creative. Zach's really not into it yet and he doesn't understand. I do try to put him up where Zach can't reach him or won't see him. The story says that if you touch him, he loses his magic and I can just imagine the kind of fit Lilly would throw if she saw Zach touch him.
The gift I bought my grandparents came in the other day. I ordered it off Amazon and the box was a little damaged, but the gift wasn't. I got them a new shredder since theirs is broken and has been for a while now. I got one of the criss-cross shredders. I should also be getting 5 more packages. Each shirt I ordered is coming separately. There's a movie coming separately and then some toys coming together I think. Oh, and some stuff off another website.
So... Happy Weekend and here's where I put Dee up.

How many days 'til Christmas?

One of the teachers at the Y pulled Lilly's tooth yesterday. She was so excited about it. She was carrying around her plastic tooth container in her backpack, so she had a place to put it when it came out. Last night, she put it under her pillow and me and hubby realized that we didn't have any cash. I was going to be a bad mom and take money out of her piggy bank to give back to her, but then I remembered my secret stash of weird money. I have silver and red notes, I have Canadian money, I have silver dollars and half dollars, I have money from India... I have all kinds of different stuff...So, I dug out 2 gold dollars, a half dollar and a penny that was given to me years ago when I was working at a convenience store that has a cross hole stamped in the middle of it. She grabbed the coins up this morning and didn't seem very amused until I told her what they were, then she got so happy. "I have 2 GOLD dollars!" And that penny made her day.

Chris, Tony and Bre came down yesterday to look at some stuff that I had put back for their apartment. They only ended up taking the microwave, one towel and my 2 end tables. The didn't want any of the things for the kitchen like bowls, plates, cups, forks and stuff. They did want a pizza pan, but I didn't have an extra one... that I've found anyway. They stayed and watched me cook dinner. It was our Thanksgiving dinner with Lilly. I cooked ham with Dr. Pepper and brown sugar, stuffing, macaroni and cheese, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy. I tried to get them to eat, but Chris only had a piece of ham and that was only to see if he could taste the Dr. Pepper. He said he really liked it. He was also surprised that I made mac and cheese. He said that no one in our family makes mac and cheese for Thanksgiving and he wished they would. So, I told him next year, I'll bring some.

I think I'm going to start posting pictures of our Elf on the Shelf and where he hides. He's been on our mantel, in the Christmas tree, on my bookshelf, on the dining room chandelier and today, he's in Lilly's stocking. Every morning after Lilly is dressed, she goes around the house looking for him and she always thinks that where he is at is funny. The sad thing to me is that when Zach is old enough to get 'into' the Elf, Lilly won't be interested in it anymore. Next Saturday is the Christmas dinner at the fire station and I'm hoping Zach won't cry and throw a fit this time. The Thursday before is breakfast with Santa at the Y, so I guess that will be my trial run. I'm taking that day off to do breakfast with both kids and then go home to clean and decorate for the holidays.

Today I'm selling one of Lilly's old blankets. Its a Dora throw that looks brand new. She hardly used it and don't want it anymore. I'm selling it to CJ's aunt for $15 and tomorrow I'm selling Lilly's old crawling baby for $10. I'm in desperate need of this money since I over did it on Black Friday and Cyber Monday and I need to pay day care. With child support, the check my neighbor gave me for getting her Just Dance 4, and the money from these things...I think I will have just enough money to pay for next week day care. Its gonna be tight. I can't spend any money until pay day on December 7th, but I have to pay 2 weeks day care out of that and the satellite. I still have my boss and one co-worker to buy for, but I think I found them some cheap things on Amazon that I liked. Last year they got wine glasses. This year, they are just going to get a funny sign to hang in their office/cubicle. One of them is a saying that my co-worker says all the time.

I accidentally fell asleep last night while trying to get Zach to sleep. He was in my room watching cartoons and then hubby left to go on a fire call. I went to the bedroom and turned the tv off and I fell asleep. I woke up about 10 minutes before hubby came home and realized that Zach had leaked through his diaper...again. So I changed him and cleaned him up and he was getting made at me and screaming until I put him in his own bed. I then changed the sheets and was in the process of putting the ham in the fridge when hubby came home. It seems that every time Zach falls asleep in my bed now, he gets it wet. I should know by now.

An Odd Topic

Ok, there's something that I just want to take a minute to talk about. Yes, its a bit odd and honestly, a little out of my comfort zone. Today, I want to talk about.... teeth. Yes, that's right, teeth. I have good strong teeth with a couple fillings because, well, I didn't really take care of them when I was little and I got some cavities. I'm still paying for it these days, but they are getting better. But that's not really what I want to talk about.

Lilly is on her way to losing her 4th baby tooth. She's so excited about it. Its barely hanging on, or so she says. I haven't seen it and I refuse to look at it. Teeth just make me sick. I told her that I could pull it for her, but I'd end up throwing up all over her face. So.. naturally she told me that it was fine and I didn't have to. I was trying to convince her to pull it this morning, but she wouldn't even though it hurts when she eats. She said that one of the teachers at the Y is going to pull it and she doesn't make it hurt. Lilly's refusal to pull her tooth even when its barely hanging on reminded me of me.

I was 7 when I lost my first one, as was she. I remember sitting in my second grade class watching a movie, crying in the darkened room with a paper towel in my mouth trying to pull my tooth. I knew it wasn't going to hurt, but it was just so gross. I could pull it and twist it all around with no pain. When I finally did get it out of there, I cried. I cried so hard they had to stop the movie and send me to the bathroom. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I ended up being the only one that pulled my own teeth. And with every one it was a new kind of horror. I couldn't even look at the tooth once I had it out.

I was a bit old when I lost my last baby tooth. I was... 14 I believe. I had just gotten on the bus to Canada and it accidentally came out. I was in no rush to pull that thing. Like all my other loose teeth, it was just barely hanging on when it came out. I just think that this tooth couldn't hold on any longer. I held it in my hand and tried not to look at it while I frantically tried to find something to put it in. It ended up going in a small inside zipper pocket of my backpack. I never took it out of that pocket. When the backpack got so torn up it needed thrown away... I threw my tooth away too. By 14, there's no need to  hold on to your teeth. You're not going to get money for it, so what do you do it?

When Lilly puts her tooth under her pillow, we have a special plastic container that is shaped like a tooth that we put it in, that way I don't have to touch it. I open it up and dump the tooth in a plastic baggie and put the money in the container and back under her pillow.

If teeth are healthy and intact, not wriggling or decaying.... I'm fine. I can't even look at my mom without her teeth in or even look at her teeth when they aren't in her mouth.

Lilly's not even 8 yet and she's losing her 4th tooth. It kind of makes me sad. My little girl is growing up. She teases me when she has a lose tooth and wriggles it when I'm looking at her. I told her last night that if she wants me to puke on her then keep doing it. She finally stopped. Hubby is ok with teeth. He hasn't pulled one of Lilly's yet, though. But Lilly hasn't pulled one either. No, I think she may have pulled one.

I can't believe I talked that long about teeth.

When I was almost 8, my older brothers ruined everything for me. They showed me mom's box full of all our teeth and told me there was not Tooth Fairy. They then proceeded to tell me that nothing existed, but I was still very horrified that mom had a box full of teeth. Now, I'm the one collecting the teeth...mostly because I have no idea what to do with them. I don't want to throw them out. Ew, and I saw yesterday that someone famous.. Ke$ha or someone, was wearing clothes made out of teeth that her fans had sent her. How disgusting is that? First off...why would you send someone your teeth? Why would you mail them? That's gross. Second... What possessed this woman to WEAR the teeth of strangers? I just saw the headline for it. I refused to look at any pictures regarding this piece of clothing made out of teeth.

Ok....I'm done before I gross myself out some more.