Wednesday, April 28, 2010

You might be a fire fighter if....

So here's a little funny tribute to my hubby. We've all heard those "You might be a redneck" jokes, so here's some for fire fighters.

You might be a fire fighter if......

1. You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away.
2. You have ever had a heated debate over the color of fire trucks.
3. You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.
4. You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day.
5. You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.
6. You have ever slept in a hosebed.
7. You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.
8. You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic.
9. You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.
10. You have ever had "yoda ears."
11. You have ever smoked and there wasn't a cigarette in sight.
12. You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water.
13. Your kids are afraid to get into water fights with you.
14. You have ever uttered the words, "I can break the door if you need me to Cap," before actually testing to see if it is locked.
15. If you have more toy fire trucks than your kids do.
16. You run towards a dangerous situation and not away from it.
17. You have ever been dressed from head to foot in rubber and it was not a sexual experience.
18. Your idea of ventilation is done with a chainsaw and not a Bag-Valve-Mask.
19. You've ever cursed a guy for amor-alling the seats in the rig.
20. You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant.
21. You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years.
22. All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter.
23. The smell of a fire excites you more than sex does.
24. A great stop has nothing to do with a moving vehicle.
25. You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.
26. You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.
27. If you think its normal to sleep with a full set of clothes ready by your bed as if you were someone planning for an escape, and nothing wakes you up but the tones
28. If you have a siren as your ring tone
29. If you have had more than one person report a fire to you at home instead of calling 911 because they knew you would be able to get there sooner
30. If smoke on the horizon becomes a personal mission and could change your plans for the day.
31. If the 911 dispatcher knows you by name and you have never called 911.
32. If your kids yell fire and you run for your vehicle.
33. If you can tell the difference between five different tones before they are done sounding
34. If you have accidently dropped a cigarette and gone back three times to make sure that you did not start a fire
35. If the thought of having a real Christmas tree has given you nightmares.
36. If the only part of a fireworks display that you can recall is trying to determine where they landed.
37. If you can get dressed in a dark room without turning on the lights faster than you can get dressed after the alarm clock goes off.
38. Your kids have ever brought a real fire truck to show and tell.
39. You've ever been too tired to work on the "honey do" list, but not too tired to fight a structure fire.
40. You've left a formal dinner for a major response.
41. If you use the Fire house to host a Birthday party

I don't know if you have to be a fire fighter or even know one really well to get these, but they are hilarious. Hubby is guilty of probably 75% of these. P.S....I got him a shirt that has that blue picture on it last Christmas...I think I finally bought him something that he actually likes.

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