Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Always hungry

Turns out that I am the 9th pregnant girl in the bank department I work in. 9 is one of my favorite numbers. Maybe its a sign.

The drive home yesterday was horrible. Water was over the road everywhere and the rain was still pouring down so hard I could barely see. The car in front of me kept slamming on their brakes....you don't do that! I thought it was going to still be bad this morning, but I had no problems.

OK....so I'm angry......about almost everything. I quit smoking for the baby.....and now I'm angry all the time. I'm hoping that will pass, but I doubt it. I was wanting to quit anyway and I told everyone and myself that I would quit when I got pregnant, that way I would have no excuses. Its hard to quit cold turkey.

I think I am interested in seeing a marriage counselor. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with my marriage that would need the fixing of a professional. I'm saying I would like for things to be better especially before they get worse. There are some areas that could be better.... maybe I just worry too much. Maybe that's one of the things that needs some work. There are things that needs to be said, things that need to be heard, things that need to be worked on, things that need to be understood, things that need to be compromised, things that need to be worked out. I need to work on my jealousy and be more lenient. I need to work on my communication skills and my social skills. It sucks to have a hubby who is a very social person and I'm not. I need to work on controlling my emotions. There are some things he needs to work on, but I'm not gonna list them here.

I don't think Lilly understands that a baby really is coming. I told her goodnight last night and asked her if she wanted to tell the baby 'night. She said, "What baby?" I told her the baby in my tummy and then she asked if I was pregnant. I told her yes and that we already had this conversation. I don't think she will fully understand until I start showing. That way I can show her there is a baby.

I'm hungry all the freaking time. I haven't even had my first doctor's appointment and I have gained 5 pounds!! The way the doctors count, I'm about 4 1/2 weeks pregnant, but from when I want to count...I'm only 3 weeks. I don't think I should have gained 5 pounds in 5 weeks....this early anyway. I didn't last time. I was losing weight until my second trimester last time! I guess every pregnancy is different though.

So maybe this blog has turned into something to help me keep track of my pregnancy. How I'm feeling, what I'm doing, how I'm growing, what's going on.....then later I can look back on this and remember how silly it was when I cried over this or got mad over that....
I haven't had any cravings yet, maybe its too early for that. I just feel like I need to be constantly eating. I'm not a big fan of ice cream any more. I want hot things. Does that count as a craving? I want things like fresh out of the oven food, toast, pizza....just things that are hot. I don't want ice cream, yogurt, cereal, or even a slushy.

Ok...I can't stand it anymore.....I'm too hungry........


  1. Oh no! Don't be angry! I have heard that quitting is practically impossible, but I'm proud of you for quitting for your baby. That's great. Think of the money you'll save by not buying cigarettes? That's what I always tell my friend who's trying to quit, anyway. ;)

    I think that seeing a marriage counselor could never hurt anyone. That's great that you have the foresight to see that it could be beneficial to do something proactive about potential issues. Do you think hubby'd go for it? If so, I think it sounds like a good idea. Wanna make sure things are all good in time for baby Octopus!!

    I'm excited to read about your journey! :)

  2. We had thrown around the idea of a counselor but that was a while back when we were having major problems. We never went.

    Today without cigs is better than yesterday. I haven't thrown anything yet!