Quitting smoking is a bit easier than I thought it was going to be. The first day was the hardest. I was angry all day, I threw things, I cried, I yelled, I sulked in my own little silence...but everything seems to be ok now. I woke up yesterday angry, but that slowly went away as the day progressed. Is it weird to say that it kind of hurts to take deep breaths? Like my lungs aren't used to fresh air and they don't like it or something. I have smoked since I was 12. I don't really think I can count from that far back. I didn't inhale at 12...I don't think I started inhaling until I was 14 and in high school. I smoked throughout high school and was only caught by my mom once or twice. I smoked throughout my first pregnancy...I was young and stupid. If "they" say that smoking causes low birth weight, I would hate to see what Lilly would have been. She weighed 7 lbs 14 oz. and had a huge head. I swear. I remember my first walk to the nursery...I looked into the window and pointed and said, "That's my baby. You see that head? Yeah, that's her." To compare... all the other babies in there..lets compare their heads to baseballs....Lilly's head was a basketball.... or apples and watermelons....
Anyway, as I was saying, as time goes on not smoking becomes easier. I know I am not only doing this for me and the people around me, I am doing this for the baby. My desire to quit came about a year ago when I got a health screening. Now, heart disease runs in my family, but I never really gave much thought to it affecting me, until I saw my results. My mom, both grandpa's, my grandma on my dad's side...heart disease is everywhere and I want to do everything I can to make sure I don't go through what they did. They have been my warning. I'm quitting smoking and after the baby, I'm going to lose more weight. I was on the track to losing weight.....but that came to a screeching halt.
Speaking of...... my grandpa is in the hospital. My mom's dad. He wasn't feeling well and couldn't breathe, so they took him to the ER. They found fluid around his heart and said if they don't get the fluid out, he will have another heart attack. Mom called me yesterday and told me that they got ten pounds of fluid out!! But they still wanted to get in there and get the rest of it. Over ten pounds of fluid!! How does that even happen??!! Mom called me late last night and told me that he is doing fine, but she doesn't know anything else yet. If he's still there by Friday, I'm going to take him some flowers or a McDonalds chicken sandwich... that's his favorite.
Neil Pasricha ( I hope I spelled that right) is going to be on the Early Show tomorrow. I have my DVR set to record it. I hope I get to watch it when I get home tomorrow. I haven't seen him on anything yet. I have read a lot about him though. This is exciting!
Work gave us new phones last night. I came in this morning to find it staring at me. My old phone is still here and is hooked up. The new one hooks up to my computer and its smaller. It appears to be working, but I can't set up my voicemail on it yet cuz it says my extension doesn't exist. Maybe they aren't done converting or whatever they are doing. I don't like this new phone. It only has one ring, and its kind of annoying, but I guess that might be the point. Give you a ring you can't stand so you have to answer it. It has a few new buttons too. Hmm...we'll see how this goes. Like it or not, I'm stuck with it.
I just went over to the kitchen to make coffee and the entire kitchen is out of order. There's a big sign on the door and the door is shut. It says that the drains are backed up. Granted, I'm drinking decaf coffee now, but I still want my coffee. I can't start a work day without coffee. I can't get any from this weird coffee machine in the lunch room cuz all it really gives ya is hot water, at least that's what I taste. I might just have to take a little walk to Starbucks here in a minute, or that cute little coffee shop a block down. I've never been there, but I'm gonna need my coffee. I can still think its regular even though its decaf. Coffee helps me not be so hungry in the mornings. This is not a good start to my morning.
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