Thursday, February 21, 2013

Losing Weight and Losing My Mind

Um... I don't really know what to say today. I'm starving, but I'm losing weight. My work pants are lose. I'm going to try to fit into a size smaller later today. We'll see. I don't have my hopes up that I'll actually get them on yet, but it would be nice to know where I'm at.
Work has been crazy. I haven't really had time to breathe. I've been planning meetings, ordering lunch, getting that set up, trying to get the bills paid, learning about variable rates, booking flights, rearranging my hundreds of files so they'll fit on the shelves better, and all my usual crap. I'm so glad I'm off work tomorrow. Me and Zach are just gonna chill at the house. Maybe clean a little. I need to really start looking for another job again. It makes me kinda sad to think about leaving because my immediate boss is set that I'm going to take her place when she retires and she's finally starting to train me, but I seriously doubt that the bank is going to keep this department when she leaves. A lot of us thinks that they are going to sell it out to a bigger bank. We are the only small bank around here that has this department. So, after they sell it out, there is no place for me. And right now, I really need a job with more money. Its getting to the point where I can't pay day care, and if I can't pay day care, there's no point in me working. I'm thinking about looking at the day care for a job, but they don't have benefits. Hubby can't afford to take on health insurance. We're just in a pickle. I can stay and be broke and overdrawn, but we'll have benefits.... or I can find another job. I haven't looked in a month or two. Its time.
Today is going to go so slow because I'm off tomorrow. I'm already thinking about lunch. I didn't have any coffee this morning either. I think I'm going to make a cup soon. They gals down here decided to all go in on some k-cups for the Keurig we have down here. I told her I'd contribute if she ordered some flavored stuff like vanilla cappuccino or something like that. She gets 96 regular cups, different blends and 96 cups of flavored coffee like French Vanilla, Mudslide, Hazlenut... but its coffee and not cappuccino. I dished out $20 and I don't like any of the stuff yet. I like regular coffee, and then I like cappuccinos. Not flavored coffee. I've tried it. I've tried it different ways. I've tried straight up, I've tried with sugar, with more sugar, with cream, with cream and sugar, less sugar, more cream... yeah, I'm complaining. For $20 I could have gotten a lot of stuff that I actually wanted. Never again.
I have to remember to sign Lilly up for softball Saturday. Its the last day to do it. I get to keep her until Friday this week. Since day care is closed for training, her father doesn't want to drive that extra mile to my house so I'm keeping her and she'll catch the bus to school. She hasn't yet from the new house... well... every. She's caught the bus home, but not to school. The bus stop is right at the end of our driveway. Me and Zach will go out there with her. I think more than one bus runs by and picks up middle school kids and I gotta make sure she doesn't get on that bus. I was going to just drive her to school, but she really needs to catch the bus. There will come a day when I can't take her to the Y or walk her to the bus stop, so I need to make sure everything is fine and she knows where to stand and which bus to get on. Last time I needed her to ride the bus because Zach was sick, I didn't know what time it ran, so I had hubby's mom stop and get her.
Oh, I'm starving... and there's about an hour til lunch. Its days like this that make me want to break my diet and just munch on things or go out and get something because my salad is not what my tummy wants. I'm going to stay strong today.
My brain is not working today. I have things I really have to do today since I'll be out tomorrow, but I just can't.
UM.... yeah... I need to find time to write on my book. I think I'll print out what I have and take it home so I can work on it this weekend. I really want to get that thing done soon. I love to write.. that's what I want a job doing. My writing has certainly gone down hill since high school. I'm going to work on that. Its like my brain only contains 'mom' things now. Stuff like homework, dinner, how to fix a boo boo, how to get that stain out, ball practice/game times, my kids friends names, what cartoons are on at certain times... my brain doesn't really contain more than that really anymore.
I would like to go back to school for something like photography or journalism or something.... I still would like to open my own day care/foster home too. Nothing but dreams really. I'm not much of a risk taker and in order to do those things, I would have to take risks like quitting my job or something... and I can't do that. Hmmm...maybe that's why I'm a boring person. HA
Alright...I've been working on this off and on for a couple of hours now. I'm listening to calming music today. Its a nice change. Talked to hubby last night about how we've all kind of been grumpy since we moved. I know I've been grumpy and mean, but I can't stop. I try to be nice and stuff, but the grump comes out and I know it comes out and when its surfaced, there's not putting it back. I'm trying to work on that. Its caused a lot of heartache and headaches. Its not just me. Hubby's been that way, Lilly has too. Zach's just a growing boy and he throws his fits, but I blame that on the terrible 2's. Told hubby that its the ghost of the grumpy old man and he's possessed us. We're all just kind of worn out and stressed.
Time or lunch yet? Another 3 day weekend!!!

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