Lilly's father called me last night. Ten minutes before Lilly's bedtime, he calls....to fight. We have court on Monday and he decided last night was a good time to bring things up and piss me off. He is still saying things about having equal time with her. I understand that, but when its messing up her school work and her sleep, we have a problem. With what I am wanting, he isn't losing that much time with her anyway. I've tried to be nice and put him into consideration. Its not like I'm suggesting he only get her every other weekend. This is what I typed up this morning.... I'm debating on taking it to court with me so I can stay focused. My brain doesn't work like it should lately and I dont' wanna miss any key points.
Lilly cannot get the stability she needs even in the schedule we have now. She is thrown around in the middle of the week and her routine is interrupted. The ride she takes when he takes her to and from school is not good for her either. She is always so tired on Fridays and there have been at least one time she didn’t finish her school work because she was so tired. In one instance, he dressed her very inappropriate for the day. From what the teachers from school and the YMCA both have told me, she was wearing clothes that were fitted for a blizzard. She had gym that day and had to keep stopping because she was overheating.
He keeps suggesting a week on/week off schedule. I don’t see how that would benefit Lilly at all. He keeps saying things about trying to keep the times equal between us, but that is not fair to Lilly. Her health and school come first. This is why I requested for him to pick her up on Fridays instead of Thursdays and bring her back to me on Sundays just an hour and a half earlier. He can still get her on Thursdays when there is no school on Fridays. He can keep her later on Sundays when there is no school on Mondays. During the summer we can go back to the schedule we are on now. There isn’t much of a time difference there, but it helps Lilly stay in a routine. I think this way will cause less frustration and less confusion for Lilly every week.
If he wants to talk about time, we can talk about time. As it is set right now, he gets Thursday evening, Friday morning and evening, Saturday all day and night and Sunday all day with Lilly. She only gets one or two hours on Sunday with me, half an hour before school and 3 hours before bed on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Those short hours are spent doing homework, cooking, eating dinner and her taking a shower. There isn’t much time for anything else. All I requested for this is one weekend a month. One weekend so I can finally take her to carnivals, to fairs, to birthday parties, to visit my family, to hang out with her friends outside of school, to do things more than cook dinner and send her to bed.
There's more that I will probably add within the week. I've been keeping a journal with all the times he's messed up real bad these past couple days. Like her getting a splinter and him leaving it in all weekend and bringing her to me with it all infected...yeah...that's in my little journal. I'm not playing nice anymore. I've tried that and all its gotten me is stepped on and pushed around by him. Well, not anymore. I will not cave. Lilly comes first and if I have to pound that into his head to get him to understand, I will.
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