positively positive

Ok....so Thursday I found out I was pregnant. I took an at home test and it was positive....and I got the Book of Awesome on Thursday too!! I was on my way home Thursday and I decided I was going to stop and get one. There were no signs pointing to pregnancy, I just knew I was. I was going to go to a Kroger next to our house, but last time I was there getting a test, I ran into his mom. So, I decided to stop at a K-Mart between work and home. As soon as I pull into the parking lot, baby's daddy's girlfriend, Lilly and her half sister pull in right beside me. Lilly runs up to me and I walk inside with them. I tell her to go with them and I will see her in a couple days. I finally get down the right isle, pick out the test I like (its only $10 and comes 2 in a pack), and I get to the counter. The cashier noticed that the security strip was put over top of the bar code. While she was trying to get it off, she ripped the bar code. She couldn't scan it or make out all of the numbers so she sent another cashier to go get another one. She took forever! She came back and said there were no more. Then my cashier literally ran to get the bar code numbers off of the shelf. I was in line for like 10 minutes, and the whole time I was waiting and looking for Lilly and her little group of people that I didn't want to find out just yet.

I get home....and I really have to pee. Hubby's not home. We agreed that I would never take a test without him being there, but he was gone, I had to pee and I had to know. Getting the test was a spur of the moment thing, I didn't know I was going to get one until I got in my car to go home. So I take the test, and I flip through the Book of Awesome while I wait for the results. My favorite I think has to be on page 321. I seriously laughed for like 5 minutes over that one. Two lines pop up on my test and I call hubby and tell him to come home. Of course he's all excited and all I can think about is, how am I going to afford to go to the doctor? Where are we going to put the baby in this little apartment? Its going to be born in January! I didn't want one in January. I didn't want to go into labor and have to deal with the snow, road blocks, wrecks... ya know. How are we going to afford a baby...he has no job.....

When I got pregnant with Lilly, I was 18, going to college full time and working full time. I lived by myself, but I was never home. 7-2 I was at school. 3-11 I was at work. I didn't have to worry about any one else. I had money. I saved well. When Lilly came, I of course dropped out of school, but still continued to work full time. I paid for everything myself. But now..... I have more bills, there are more people I have to worry about, I'm actually buying food to keep in the house ( I use to live off hot pockets and egg rolls when I lived by myself...of course that changed a little when Lilly came, but not much).....food is expensive.

My pregnancy with Lilly was wonderul. I didn't get sick, I didn't have any pains...it was just wonderful. I did get some swollen feet at month 8 and gained like 50 pounds, but that all went away. I'm hoping this one is just as wonderful.

Besides me freaking out about money and space, I am excited and happy. I called everyone on Friday after my blood test...but I couldn't get a hold of mom. She was out camping on her new land and has no cell phone service. I didn't get a hold of her until Saturday night...and she already knew. Moms always know. That's what I tell Lilly all the time, I should have known that she knew. I told her on Tuesday that I was eating a lot and was always tired...... that should have been our clue.

Lilly thinks that every girl is always pregnant and the baby just come out whenever. For like 6 months now she has been asking me when is that baby is coming out of my tummy!! She has been saying forever that if I have a girl she wants to name it Kelly, but if its a boy she wants to name it Octopus..... and she really wants a brother. I'm sorry Lilly but Octopus is just not on my baby name list.

Of course if its a girl, her middle name is going to be Rose. I'll have Lilly and Rose. I like the name Morgan for a first name, but I don't know yet. Alexander for a boy. We have yet to really discuss anything...these are just names that have been on my baby name list for years.

Now...I'm sitting here at work awaiting for people to show up and say something about it. All the girls that are married and is of child bearing age is pregnant or had a child this year already. One girl had a boy in January... one girl had twin boys in March....one girl had a boy on Friday....the next girl is due in a few weeks with a boy...and there's one due in September, but its too early to tell what it is. All signs point to boy for me. I'd like to have a boy, but I already have all the girl stuff. I haven't given or thrown away any of Lilly's stuff. I have clothes and toys from birth to 5 years old. Pink car seats and strollers, pink sheets and a pink crib liner...the crib is brown so there's no worry there. Pink bottles...well...I think the bottles were all different colors. Her bouncy/vibrating seat is blue and green with Pooh bear and her walker thing that has a bottom on it is red...but I think I did throw that out. All of this is in my storage building along with all my maternity clothes. I'm going to have to pay my storage building a visit.

I think this is a bit long............one more thing.....................................





I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!