Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The big day

Second post of the day

As the big day draws near, I keep thinking about how I would like for it to go. Not the labor part, no, its the visitors that concern me.
I only want hubby back for delivery, but as soon as that baby is out, Lilly is to be the only other one allowed back. I want her to be the first one in the waiting room to see the baby. I want to have those first few minutes of his life to be with us, all together. I'll try to see if I can get a nurse to take some pics of us with the baby. Then after we've had our moment, anyone can come back. They do only allow 2 back at a time, for which I am grateful. I'll let the waiting room fight it out. I don't care if its my mom, hubby's mom or whoever. As long as we get those first minutes alone with Lilly and the baby, I'm happy.
Some of hubby's family are very unhappy that I chose the hospital that I did. The one I'm going to is further away from home, but I like how they do things. The hospital that they wanted me to go to allows anyone back for the deliver, no limited amount (which I think is dangerous), and no limited amount of visitors after delivery. Which means, the entire waiting room could come back at the same time. Um... how about NO. My mom and his mom don't like that they can't come back just whenever they feel like it. I don't care. This is Lilly little brother and hubby's first child. I don't want anyone to come back and ruin it. I hope they will do as I wish. I wish they would be understanding about it all and not act all selfish.
Writing that last sentence I realize that I myself am being selfish cuz I don't want them to come back and stay there or anything like that. I remember how it was with Lilly though. Lilly's father, his aunt and my mom were all back there. I hated it. I felt crowded. No one helped at all. They laughed when I asked for help. I hated that my mom and his aunt sat there and made jokes while I laid there in pain. I hated that I couldn't get silence when I needed to concentrate. I hated that I only got to hold my little baby girl for only a few seconds before someone took her out of my arms. I hated that I didn't get to hold her again until visiting hours were over. Reliving that experience is just not going to happen. That was suppose to be one of the most joyous occasions of my life, and don't get me wrong it was, it really was, but it could have gone a lot better.
I am now perfectly ok with not knowing the exact day that I will have this baby. It gives me a little bit of space from everyone else. Yes, I still worry about some things like not being able to get a hold of hubby when it all starts, but its not like the baby will pop out in 5 minutes. I will have time. I don't think that I'm going to start making phone calls to family until after we get to the hospital. The only problem is that we will have to have someone come down to watch Lilly or something, if I have her that day. Chances are good that I will, so we need to start trying to think of what we are going to do. I can call my grandma at any time and she will watch Lilly, no matter if its 2 am or not. If Lilly is in school, hubby's mom can bring her with her. If she is with her father, I'm gonna have to call him to bring her when time gets closer.
I know there is no use in trying to plan this out. I know someone will not care about anything I say and will do whatever they want anyway.

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