What? Its NOT Christmas??

I'm at that point in the year where I start to become obsessed with Christmas. I try to plan out everything I'm going to buy and I even go as far as to make spreadsheets. I don't want to forget anyone and I don't want to overspend. I try to buy a little here and there, but the big shopping happens on Black Friday. I think that needs to be a national holiday. I'm not sure if I'm going to have any money to go Black Friday shopping this year or not, and even if I do, I'm not sure if I have someone to watch the kids.

I have planned out what almost everyone is going to get and I even have some stuff in carts online. One of my favorite places to Christmas shop is http://www.abcdistributing.com/ They have so much stuff and its cheap. I bought almost everything from them last year. I have shirts for my brothers in my cart at http://www.cafepress.com/ Mostly lolcatz stuff and an Angry Bird shirt. **Online shopping** is my awesome thing of the day. Its still not as fun as actual shopping, but you don't have to deal with crowds or weather or mean cashiers.

I'm trying to start saving up money, but its not going as well as I had hoped. I'm still awaiting my raise that I was promised.

Yesterday Lilly's school was suppose to have popsicles on the playground for K-1 so they can meet their teachers and whatnot. I even left early so I could make sure we got there in time. It stormed. I tried to get a hold of my mother in law to ask if they are going to move it inside, but then Lilly's nose just started pouring the blood. She woke up at 3 am that morning with a nose bleed that ended up all over her sheets and now she had another one. We got that one under control, but by that time the storm had really kicked up and I decided that even if they did move it inside, I wasn't taking the kids out in that stuff. Lilly didn't know about it, I was going to surprise her, so there was no disappointment from her when we didn't go. 

The countdown for the first day of school is on!! 3 days! I texted Lilly's father yesterday to see if I can get Lilly from him in the morning so I can take her to school and then meet him somewhere after so I can pick her up. I want this to be an every year thing. I want to be able to take her to her first day of school and pick her up. I want to do this with both kids... but he is making it very difficult. My original plan was to just meet him at the Y since he was going to go there anyway if I wasn't getting her and then take her back home to eat breakfast, then take her to school. He told me last night if I want to take her, I have to meet him at his work, which is 20 miles away. I'm half tempted to tell him nevermind and then go get her at the Y after he drops her off. If I have to go that far, there's no time to go home and eat breakfast. I want her to eat breakfast with me so we have time to find her classroom and meet her teacher and everything. Last year she ran out of time for breakfast. I guess I'm going to take her to McDonalds or something for breakfast since there's one right there beside where he works. Why does he have to be like this? Why does he always have to make things difficult?

So, today is the 34 anniversary(?) of Elvis Presley's death. Hubby was 2 months old. I wasn't even though of yet. My mom was 15. They are talking about it on the radio. The DJ is asking listeners if they remember where they were when they heard the news. He said people remember things like that, where they were when big events happened...like 9/11. I remember. I was in English class working on my daily journal when another English teacher came running in our room yelling that the WTC was hit. The entire school spent the rest of the day watching the news. Do you remember where you were? Or can you think of another big event or big news and remember where you were?

So much

Oh, Christmas..........
Thursday Christmas with Dad and all them was.... odd to say the least. Dad got there about half an hour before we were going to leave. We got to his house a little after noon and was going to leave about 5. My step mom didn't come. She was suppose to stop by after she got off work, but instead she bypassed her house to go to her mom's to start cooking. Her house is like 50 feet from her mom's so its not like she couldn't have stopped by for 5 minutes.
That night Lilly was so excited. We made cookies, put out the reindeer food on the porch and hung our stockings. I wish I would have gotten a picture of her spreading out the reindeer food. She did it with such seriousness and carefulness. She'd grab a little bit in her hand, sprinkle it in one spot, grab some more and sprinkle in another spot being oh so careful not to step on any of it. When she got in bed she yelled at us to go to bed to Santa could come. "Mommy!! You have to go to bed early to Santa can come and you have to turn my tv off early so I can go to sleep!!" She usually ends up going to sleep with while the tv is on. I give her an hour of tv time at night but she hardly makes it the whole hour. I asked her if she wanted me to turn the tv off now and she protested which I thought was funny. 5 minutes later, she was asleep. Me and hubby did our thing and went to bed. Of course I didn't sleep all night. I kept waking up thinking I heard Lilly up, but she was in bed. At 5:30 she woke up and wanted a tissue, so I took one to her, she blew her nose, looked out the window and laid back down. I went back to sleep. I woke up several times since then thinking she was up, but I never heard anything and just kept going back to sleep. Finally at 7:30 I woke up and was just going to get her up. I sat up in bed and there she was just sitting her bed all nice and quiet. She said she's been awake for a while and even got up to peek at the tree to see if Santa came! I asked her why she didn't wake us up and she never really answered. So we got up.
I got some good pictures of her reaction while opening up her presents. She loved all of it except the pink socks I got her cuz she doesn't like pink anymore. I made sure the dollhouse was the very last thing opened. She opened up all the rooms and didn't know exactly what to do with them until she opened up her big present. She sat and played with that thing for about an hour. Lilly's gift to me was a heart shaped locket that said "MOM" on it. I love it. I cried. Then we headed to hubby's mom's house so Lilly could open her stuff there then we went to my grandma's house (dad's house) and did Christmas with them there.
We were there maybe 10 minutes and I go to look out the window and there's 5 cop cars and an ambulance. Apparently someone 3 doors down from grandma shot himself.
Lilly's father came and picked her up and I found out his gf is pregnant. Nice timing, huh? A part of me is very happy for them and then the other part of me is mad at them for their timing. I feel they did all this on purpose to take Lilly's focus away from my baby. I feel like she won't be as excited about his baby cuz there's gonna be another one.
Christmas day me and hubby head off to his mom's house. She got us the Wii fit, which I've been telling hubby I wanted for 2 years and she got us a freaking HD flat screen tv after I told her a million times not to.
All in all the holiday was good. The baby was very active on Saturday. He woke up at 6 pm and didn't calm down until 11. He was hurting me so bad and of course everyone was saying that I was going to go into labor cuz I was in so much pain. Ya know what??.... I'm getting tired of people saying stuff like that every time I have a little bit of pain. He's getting big and doesn't have that much room, so yes, when he does move it hurts sometimes. And I'm tired of everyone saying something about me falling down the steps. Its not like I did it on purpose and it seriously caused me a lot of pain, but my mom and hubby's family and their friends won't shut up about it. I can't even go down any steps without someone making some kind of comment. OMG... just shut up about it already. It would be different if it didn't hurt me or make Lilly cry. It would be different if I wasn't pregnant when I did it. It would be different if I did it out of pure clumsiness instead of ice. It would be different if I wasn't in the hospital for hours because of it. I just don't think that this kind of thing is something you make fun of someone for. And its been over a week, just drop it. Its not funny, it was never funny and now its just kind of pissing me off.
Now I have the New Year's party and my baby shower to look forward to. Yes, that was sarcasm you detected.

Its almost time!!!

Lilly's Christmas performance was wonderful. She sang and did the movements and didn't get embarrassed. Usually she will get embarrassed halfway through and stop singing or barely sing, but this time she opened that mouth wide and sang. I almost cried a few times cuz it made me realize just how much she has grown up. The picture I took, its in her classroom in front of their Christmas tree. I'm glad that they can still put trees up in schools. She's doing her chipmunk smile. She seems to always do that smile when I pull her hair back from her face. Maybe its just more noticeable then. I don't know. She's still so very adorable. I love her outfit. I didn't get any pictures with my phone during the performance cuz I was video taping the entire time with the camcorder. Seating was very limited. They had these long benches that they use at lunch time. It was me and hubby, my grandparents, hubby's sister and her 3 kids and then a couple people on the other end. I was on the end and had like 3 inches of seat. I didn't mind. I'd rather have half a seat than to be standing. Lilly's father made it, but he came in late and had to stand in the back. I didn't see him until it was over or I would have found a place for him.
I thought they were going to bring out one class and they were going to sing a song or two and then another class would come out, but they had all of them up there and they did a lot of songs. They sang a few Christmas songs, did hand movement 'songs,' a Hannukkah song and a Kwanzaa song. The last song they did was Feliz Navidad. Seeing the kids trying to remember the words was kind of comical. The first time they ran through the entire Spanish part, half the kids didn't say anything and the rest just mumbled, but after that they had it down and did really well.

My bruises look bad now. They are dark blue and purple, some yellow and I'm still swollen. The baby is doing great though. Lilly suggested the name Zachary at dinner on Saturday and hubby seemed to like it a lot. That name was on the list but for some reason we quit talking about the names on the list. The two that we agreed on and both liked was Zachary and Michael. So, if we do go with Zachary his middle name will be Alexander. Zachary Alexander. I like it, but for some reason I don't feel like it fits. I don't know. I do really like the name and that's probably what we will go with, but I still think I'd like to see him first before we decide.
I was going to take all next week off to spend with Lilly cuz she is off school and all, but I'm being nice and letting her father keep her an extra day. So, I'll come to work on Monday and Tuesday and then take the rest of the week off. He doesn't know it yet. It'll be my Christmas present to him. I think I will go ahead and text him.........Ok, just did. Waiting for answer now. He's gotta have someone to watch her on Monday or the deal is off. I don't want to pay a full week's price at the Y when she is only gonna go one day if he has to take her on Monday. We'll see what he says..... ok, its all good. He said ok.
Hubby's gift finally was delivered last night at my grandma's house. I called them yesterday morning cuz the thing online said incorrect address, and it was so not the wrong address. I told the guy over the phone that if he would just google the address, the arrow is right on the house, but I gave him directions anyway. Not a big fan of FEDEX now. I was suppose to get that package 2 weeks ago. I kept letting it slide cuz of the weather, but it was only bad for like 2 days. I'm gonna use UPS as much as I can now. I haven't had any problems out of them and I've used them for everything else. They've delivered 4 packages for me in the past month and they were always on time. I know a lot of people that work for FEDEX so I'm sorry about saying that, but its just so ridiculous. Hubby already knows what it is though.
Ok, I know I rambled a lot in this post, but I'm just in a really talkie mood. I feel like I have a lot to say, but its really nothing. I don't feel like its Christmas anymore. I felt more Christmas-y last month before I went shopping. I've also noticed that this year less people have decorated the outside of their house. We haven't, but we don't have any lights. Next year, though, I'm going all out. Last year though, it seemed like almost every other house was lit up. This year, you have to go like a mile to find one.

12 days 'til Christmas

We went to the bank on Saturday to sign our papers for the application for the loan, and the mortgage lady was a no show. I was kinda upset about that. We've been trying for 2 years to get a house and just when we think we have it, its delayed just that much longer.
Hubby took me out to pick my Christmas present. He wanted to get me a gun, but he wanted me to pick one out that I like and feel comfortable with. I picked out a .380, all black. I'm not a big fan of the grip, though. Its a bit rough on my hands, but its the one I liked the most. He still has to wrap it up. Even though I know what it is, I still want to unwrap it.
Got all of Lilly presents from Santa wrapped up and hidden away. They are hidden in plain sight, but she'll never see them. I put them in 2 big black trash bags and just placed them in our closet. She is so use to seeing bags and stuff in there, she won't pay any attention. I'm making her doll house be from us. I want that to be the very last thing she opens. Ok...no... open the doll house and then the rooms. I still haven't gotten my hands on the nursery for the babies the house comes with. I have the living room, dining room, family room, big sister's room, and the laundry room. I almost had the kitchen, but it was broken.
Christmas dinner at the fire station went ok. Food was great, but some people are just so stupid. Santa was there for the kids and so was the Grinch in a santa outfit. That was pretty cool. We heard jingle bells and its usually Santa, so all the kids were getting excited and standing in their seats, eagerly looking at the door. Some green fuzzy fingers came around the door frame and over half of the kids started freaking out. When the Grinch came through the door, the kids were hiding and crying. They eventually got over it and got pictures with him. Santa came in shortly after. The picture is hubby's mom, sister and his youngest nephew with the Grinch. See the death-grip he has on his mom? I just really wanted to show you how awesome the costume looked.
Sunday we went to one of hubby's nephew's birthday party and Santa was there too. Hubby's sister made me sit in Santa's lap. Kinda awkward.
School are closed today cuz we got a really good snow storm last night. I'm surprised I came to work. I didn't sleep at all last night, ok maybe 3 hours. I just couldn't get comfy, I couldn't breathe, I was paranoid that hubby wasn't going to wake up in time, and I could hear our neighbor out there plowing our side road every half an hour. I slept from 11-12:30, 2-3, 4-5. I'm exhausted. So hubby had to get up early to plow snow at his work, and then I finally get out of bed. (Oh, not to forget the phone calls and text messages at 4 am to tell me that school is on a 2-hour delay and then closed) I look outside and the main road just looks so bad. Usually I would call my boss right there and tell her I'm not coming in and then crawl back into bed. I don't know if it was my lack of sleep so I wasn't thinking straight or if I had convinced myself that it wasn't that bad cuz the snow was powdery, but I came to work. I went out there, cleaned my car off and ventured on. The roads were slick as all get out. I'm such a coward when it comes to bad roads. I've been in 2 really bad wrecks where I totaled my cars, so I get paranoid when it comes to certain things. But I made it to work and that's all that matters right now. Lilly made it to the Y just fine and I get her back today.
Been having contractions more often. I can't really feel any pain when it happens, but my stomach is tightening up and that's what the doc said to watch for.
Yesterday I had to listen to 4 other women talk about giving birth and how the hospital handled it. They were telling me like I didn't know, like I've never done this before. It was kinda making me mad. I know how my hospital handles things, that why I picked that one and not the one closer to home. No, I don't want people back there during delivery, I want it to just be me and hubby. (My mom wasn't happy about that decision) I know all about the drugs they give out and who is allowed back after delivery. I know all of it, but OMG, they had to tell me like I didn't. I don't really like talking about stuff like that. I don't really like talking about my pregnancy anymore. I don't want to talk about how everyone else's delivery went. I don't want to talk about anything anymore. I am so wore out on talking about those things. Its the same questions with the same people. When's your due date? You have a name picked out yet? Who's gonna be in the delivery room with you? (oh and I hope hubby's mom realizes that she's not invited in either) How much weight did you gain? Who is your doctor? (they ask that like they know every OB-GYN in the state) Have you been craving anything? Is he moving a lot? Can I feel him? My first pregnancy, I hated it when people touched my tummy... especially without even asking, but this time it doesn't bother me as much for some reason. People still don't ask, they just do it. I don't mind putting my thoughts and what not on here, cuz I'm sorta documenting what is going on. I don't mind telling people the answers to their questions, but I just don't want to do it every time I see them when they ask the same questions and make the same comments. That's one of the reasons I don't really like seeing my family anymore, cuz that's all they will talk about. Yes, I'm pregnant... can we all just move on now? My mom is the worse. I try to tell her stuff and confide in her, but she's like, "Yep. You just wait." She treats me like I'm stupid sometimes. Its gotten to the point where I hate talking to her over the phone. I was trying to tell her the other day when I am planning on coming down to celebrate Christmas and she was acting like I wasn't going to come cuz of the snow. When I try to talk to her about Lilly, she just makes these little comments that I could really do without. I don't know what happened to her. I use to be able to talk to her about just about anything... not anymore.

15 days 'til Christmas

So hubby stopped by the bank yesterday to get his information updated and whatnot for the loan. Ok, last time we were in there about 6 months ago the mortgage lady told us to pay off our stuff. She even printed out our credit reports and circled the things that we owed. Mine was mostly medical bills. Well, we paid everything. We owe nothing to anyone. We are debt free. Our credit cards all have a zero balance. All my medical bills are gone. Our cars are paid off. Its a great feeling. Not so great is when the mortgage lady told hubby that his almost perfect credit score dropped 100 points due to no credit activity. I told him we need to periodically use our Walmart cards for small purchases and pay them off immediately. He agreed to that. My credit score went up, but I didn't ask by how much. I wasn't there. Hubby did call me and say that there is this one medical bill from 2005 that is showing on my credit report. I started yelling cuz I know which one it was and it is most certainly paid off. I have the receipts. The mortgage lady has the receipts also. I heard the lady ask him if I was upset and crying since I've been known to cry in her office. He said, "No, she's yelling at me!"
Today I emailed her some additional information like my pay check stubs and my account statements. Tomorrow we go back to sign the papers and then we wait. We're going to make an offer of $95,000 on the house we want....if its still for sale....and if we get the loan. The house if off market, but that's all we know. I'm gonna do a drive by today to see if there is still a for sale sign in front and/or if its still empty. We did do a drive by of another house last night. I don't want to live down that road and the yard is small, but its a 5 bedroom house with 2 baths, family room, game room and a den. We don't know the condition of the inside though. Oh, and its a 2 car garage. The other house, the one we really want, is 3 bedroom with 2 baths, 2 car garage and a huge ass yard. There is even a gazebo in the back yard. The house is the last house on a dead end street, its all fenced in, there's a sunroom (which is just a back porch that's been screen in), and a propane fire place. The room that would be the baby's room is already blue, so that saves me some painting. The next couple weeks are going to be very stressful on my patience. Between waiting to hear about the loan, trying to see if the house is still for sale, Christmas coming up, baby coming out.... its just going to be hectic.
Mom keeps telling me to suck it up and just be happy if we get a loan and go get any house we can. I don't want to do that. I don't want to live in a house I don't want or one that is in a bad area or something. I don't want a house with no yard, or one on a hill, or one with a neighbor so close I can touch their house just by leaning out my window. I don't want one that is falling apart, or on the wrong side of town where Lilly would have to change schools. I don't want one along the main road or one with only 2 bedrooms. I want to buy a house that I can live in for the rest of my life. One I am happy with and one I can see grand kids coming to. I want a house with just enough space, but its not too big. I would like to have a basement, but I can do without that. I want to live in a house with friendly neighbors and I do need at least 1 full and one 1/2 bathrooms. There are plenty of things I can deal with and things I can do without, but I'm planning on staying in whichever house we buy. I'm planting my feet there and I will grow. It needs to be a place where I CAN grow.
Ok, enough of that. Hubby finally started his holiday shopping last night. Good thing too cuz he's kinda running out of time. He is busy all this weekend and working over all next week.
From what I have heard, we are going to be hit hard with snow on Monday. I wish it would come on Saturday so I don't have to drive in it or worry about if Lilly is going to make it to school from her father's house. Real sad that I don't have her this weekend cuz there's a lot going on again. Fire fighter Christmas dinner, a birthday party and she has to help me wrap presents. I was planning on doing at least one or two a night until it was the day before Christmas Eve, then I'd wrap the rest, but I don't think that's how its going to happen. I think I'm going to go ahead and wrap up her doll house and put it under the tree. That is going to be from us, not Santa.

16 days 'til Christmas

Sleep wasn't really that much better. I did only get up 3 times, though. Had some more odd dreams. Mostly about the baby.
We finally got our tree up and decorated. When me and Lilly got home yesterday hubby was putting the lights and garland on. Lilly then decorated the entire tree by herself and she did a great job. I had to leave to go to the dollar store to get some more hooks though. Hubby called me while I was in line to tell me he just found a bunch. So now we have extra. I was getting the thought that we needed to get some bulbs that matched. Like all red and gold, or blue and white, or purple and silver or something, but seeing the tree last night and everything we have to put on it and just the way it looked....it was wonderful and I wouldn't change it for a thing. We have a lot of personalized ornaments ~things I made when I was a kid, things Lilly has made, things we bought that have a lot of meaning. Hubby's ornaments he made when he was a kid are still hanging on his parents tree. My mom gave me all of mine when I moved out. We do have a snowflake with "2008" on it cuz that was our first Christmas as a married couple, Lilly has a couple that says "Baby's First Christmas 2005," I have a really old Santa that belonged to my great grandma, there are fireman ornaments, Dora ornaments, Princess bulbs, angel sun catchers...I love them all. I think I am going to make it a tradition to get at least one new ornament a year that best defines that year. Like this year, I could get something about a starting school for Lilly. Next year I'm getting a "Baby First Christmas" for this little one. Then the year after that I can get a family ornament with all 4 of our names on it or something. I even let Lilly wrap the first presents and put them under the tree. She wrapped my mom's and my step dad's. She did a fairly good job. I let her do it all by herself. All I did was cut the paper the right size and hand her the tape. She was so excited that she got to do it herself and that we have something under the tree already.
Hubby keeps asking me what I want for Christmas and honestly I have no idea. I would like a new purse, but that's something you don't send a guy after. He would end up getting me the ugliest and least useful purse ever. He did say something about getting me a hand gun. I told him I'd really like to have a .25, but a .22 will do. Then he started talking about purses with the hidden pocket on the back for the gun. I'm excited about it. I told him that I already have planned out what I'm getting him for his birthday and Christmas for the next 3 years, he thought I was crazy. They are things that he has casually asked for but never really said he wanted, if that makes any sense. I have a good memory when it comes to things like that.
Lilly goes to her father's today and I won't see her until Monday. I'm already sad about it. We did have a great time together. I finally got to do stuff with her on a weekend. It was great. We did so much. We went to a parade, we visited family, we went shopping, we went to parties, I took her to a friend's house so she could play, she got to play in the snow for a little bit, we put the tree up, she wrapped presents, she got to see Santa and tell him what she wanted, she got to see more of her friends on a Saturday and they had breakfast together and made ornaments.. we really had a great time. She is going to miss the fire fighter Christmas dinner with Santa and her step-cousin's birthday party cuz she will be with her father.
I was invited again to watch the dress rehearsal of The Nutcracker this year. I though about bringing Lilly, but I'd have to leave work, go get her, come back to the city, but get her back home in time for bed cuz she has school the next day. Hubby said he'll be working late all next week so I can't really go cuz no one will be home for Lilly and I don't want to have her out so late on a school night. If I left in time to get her to bed at bedtime, we wouldn't get to see much.
Weather was cold this morning, but the snow has stopped. It was 16 degrees outside when I got to work. Even though it was colder than yesterday, I wasn't really that cold today. I wore a short sleeve shirt. The temperatures are suppose to warm up in the 40's this weekend and its going to rain. No more snow until later next week.

Brrrrrrr, its cold outside

Hubby was successful at locating all the Christmas decorations from my storage building. We will put the tree up today and decorate it tomorrow. He called me yesterday, "So, I found the red tote with all the decorations in it, but where's the tree?" Yeah, like I can sit here in my office and tell you exactly where it is. That 10x10 storage building is packed from floor to ceiling and wall to wall. If its not right there by the door, I have no idea. He found it, but I forgot to ask him where it was.
So I realized yesterday that I don't really know what a real contraction feels like. Weird, right? I've been through the fake ones and those are kinda painful, but not unbearable. See, with Lilly I was induced a week early. The nurses gave me the drugs and as long as I kept an empty bladder, I couldn't feel a thing. The nurse would say, "Oh, that was a big one! You must have felt that one." Nope, I didn't. I was hooked up to this machine that measured the intensity of my contractions and how much pain I SHOULD have been in. But I didn't feel anything. I didn't really feel any pain until it was time to push and I only felt the horrible stretchy feeling pain on part of my left side cuz no matter how many times I pushed that button to release the drugs into me, it never reached my left side completely. That's what happens when you let an intern put it in. So, if I didn't feel any contractions with Lilly, what if I don't feel any with this one? How will I know when its time to go to the hospital since your suppose to time them? What if I don't know I'm in labor cuz my water didn't break? With Lilly, since I was induced, the doctor had to break my water. Being mostly numb all I felt was....warm....kinda like I peed the bed or something.
I am a little worried about hubby. I would like for it to be just us in the delivery room, but I've been thinking that he might need a little support. He doesn't have a very strong stomach, for one. For two, he worries a little too much about certain things. I don't need him asking me if I'm ok every 5 seconds. I don't really want my mom in there this time. She wasn't much help last time and kind of annoyed me. I love my mom to death, but I don't want her in there this time. The only other problem is, I don't think I would feel comfortable with anyone else in there. I would like it if my bff would be in there, but there's just no way she will be able to come in from Virginia in time. That and I don't know how well she would handle it all either. I don't know what to do. I still need to talk to hubby about it. And I don't know how to tell my mom that I don't want her in there without hurting her feelings. I know she would be real hurt if hubby's sister went back and she didn't. There's still a lot to think about.
School is on a 2 hour delay today. I don't really know why unless it due to the cold temperatures. The roads weren't bad at all. If I will drive on them, they aren't bad. I'm glad I don't really have to worry about things like that cuz Lilly goes to before and after school care. No matter if school is on a delay or closed or whatever, I still take her there every morning at the same time. My bff hasn't seen any snow yet, but she's not really THAT far away. She's only like 6 hours east of me. I took some pictures the other day and sent them to her.
The baby is getting very active at night time. His elbows are hitting me in all the wrong places. It feels like he is seriously trying to crawl his way out. His feet don't bother me. Yeah, he kicks and moves and whatnot and knocks my ribs around, but its his hands and elbows and shoulders that are causing me all this extra pain.
Oh, and its Pearl Harbor Day. Today marks the day that Japan attacked Pearl Harbor in 1941. I'm sure the Pearl Harbor movie will be on tv sometime today.

Its Almost Christmas!

This is gonna be another long one.
Haven't gotten my decorations yet, it snowed and mom wouldn't come out and meet me. I can't load my car myself, I was in need of my brothers. Why have so many brothers if you can't use them from time to time? If the tote wasn't so heavy, I would have done it myself, but I'm afraid if I lift anything over 10 pounds, the baby is gonna pop out. Hubby said he would go today after work and pick it all up. I'm so excited to get the tree up.

I did get registered for my baby shower at a few places. I did it all online so it saved me the time of walking around the stores and driving to the stores. I registered at Sears, Walmart, and Target. There are some really cute things on there. Hubby's sister found this one bedroom suite for the baby that was all in fire trucks. So cute. I also discovered that I am a big fan of the blue and brown stripes/stars. Found a lot of things I didn't even know existed and a lot of things I didn't have with Lilly when she was a baby. One is a bottle warmer. Never knew of such a thing. I just did it the old fashioned way. One of the bottle warmers came with a pacifier sterilizer. How cool is that? I also found some wipe warmers. I wish I had that with Lilly. She wasn't born during the winter though, but it is still kinda cold in March when she was born.

We probably got about 2 inches of snow so far. We got a lot, then it melted, then it snowed some more.
Saturday, I took Lilly to the YMCA for breakfast with Santa. We ate pancakes, she got her picture, she did a craft and we left. Then, we went to the city for the big parade. It started at 10 and ended at 11:15. That was the first time I saw the city's parade. It was something. We parked at my work and walked a block to mall toward the beginning of the parade. She got cold, so we went in the mall and I got her some gloves and earmuffs before it all started. She got a lot of candy and had a lot of fun. But as the parade went on, the temperature kept dropping. She ended up with my jacket too by the end of it all and I let her keep it to walk back to the car. The first snowflake fell right as the last float went by. Talk about good timing!

After the parade we went to my grandma's to drop off my nephew's winter coat I bought him for Christmas. My uncle was there so I was going to have him go to my storage building with me, but I forgot my keys. Then I took her to K-Mart to pick out a toy for the birthday party on Sunday and the toy for the gift exchange at school...oh, and her Christmas dress. Its so cute. The dress she picked out is red velvet with white trim on the sleeves and on the bottom. It came with a little black belt too. Kinda like a santa dress. I'm gonna let her wear her snow boots with it since they are black.

Sunday, me and Lilly attempted to clean out her toys. I gave her these options~ Leave them out, put them under the bed in a storage tote, put them in the storage building to sort out later for yard sale or keep. I was trying to make room for the stuff she's getting on Christmas, but you can't even tell we did anything. I did get it better organized though and I think I may have made just enough room for the doll house. Then me, her and hubby took off to Walmart. We went in, got just a few things and went back out. My rear tire was flat on my car. So, we sat and waited for hubby's dad to show up with sealer and an air pump. We then went straight to the birthday part at the fire station community building. Instead of a cake, they make cupcakes that looked like ladybugs. The mom of the 2 year old made them. Hubby then left to finish working on my car, he said he pulled out two big pieces of metal out of the tire. Then some drama went down at the party with the family, but I won't put that out there. After the party, we head to hubby's parent's house just to hang out. They have their tree up and it looks real good.

My tire isn't flat today....yet. I forgot the air pump at the house. Tomorrow we should be able to decorate and put our tree up. I have no idea when I'm gonna go get hubby's last present, the back rack for his 4-wheeler. Its a gift that I'm gonna make from Santa, so I can't take Lilly with me, but I can't go get it until next pay day, which is on the 15th. I have Lilly that week and weekend. And I can't really go get it unless hubby's not gonna be home so I can just wrap it instead of trying to find a place for it to hide. I think I could just tell Lilly its from us and make something smaller from Santa so I can take her with me. I'm gonna have to probably take one of my brothers to carry it for me and get it up my steps.

My hopes of getting a house before Christmas is not gonna happen. Hubby hasn't made it to the bank yet to update his info. Even if he makes it this week, I don't see us getting the loan and getting everything settled so quickly. Yeah, it would be nice to celebrate Christmas in our new house, but as long as we have a bigger place before the baby comes, I'm ok. There's just no way we can have enough room for the 4 of us in that apartment. Its a tight squeeze as it is.

Had a doc appt Friday. Everything is fine. Blood pressure it 122/78. With Lilly my blood pressure was so high the doc's were worried. Maybe this low number has something to do with me not smoking this time. I told the doc about my pains and she said that he is head down now and that's why its hurting to walk. He has lodged himself right there between my hips. I can feel him elbow my hips every now and then. I didn't have any of this pain with Lilly, that's why I have been so worried. I need to stop comparing. But yes, he is head down. I think I am a week further along than the doc said. Everything is happening a week earlier and at 18 weeks he was a week heavier than he should have been. So, I'm taking things into my own hands and moving my due date from January 20 to January 13..... if I make it that long.

Where has the week gone?

Is it just me or is this week flying by?
Oh, the weird pains I'm feeling now!! Lets start off with this one~ I can no longer do much with my feet other than walk. Ok, I understand that doesn't really explain anything. I never noticed how much I push things with my feet or stuff like that....push drawers closed, push things across the floor, even pushing a door open. I can no longer do any of these things because there is this weird pain that feels like the baby is, well, coming out. I don't know how else to explain it. I can't even put my pants on standing up, ya know, one leg at a time standing on one foot. Yeah. I can't do that without this pain either. Its just a lot of pressure and then pain like I'm pulling a muscle that shouldn't be pulled.
He's starting to make those movements again where it feels like he is shivering or something. I have a doc appt tomorrow and I really need to ask about this. I just wonder if he is having a seizure or something like that. Can unborn babies have seizures? That's not something you really hear about, so I don't know.
Last night, I have no idea what the baby was doing, but he was laying very weird. I couldn't lay on my side, either side, all night. He was balled up or stretched out or something where he was making it impossible for me to find any comfortable position and I couldn't do anything but lay on my back. Every time I tried to roll over, I was basically laying on the baby. Not only did it cause me some odd pain, I didn't know if I was hurting the baby or not. I just assume that I was. I am a side sleeper, so I got no rest last night. Whenever I did finally get comfy enough to fall asleep, I had to get up to go pee. Then I had to go through it all over again with trying to get comfy. I have to go to the bathroom now about every hour. Sometimes I don't even have to pee, but the baby is just putting so much pressure in all the wrong places, that it does feel like I have to. I've heard from everyone that carrying a boy is way different than carrying a girl. I didn't believe them. I mean...how is that even possible. Its a baby. That's it, just a baby...but now....now I believe. Everything is different. Everything feels different.
Aw man...I should have taken a picture of Lilly's nails after I painted them and decorated them. They are so cute. She's got purple nails now with animal stickers on them~ bunnies, pigs, owls, monkeys, dog prints, penguins, cats...so cute. She loved them. The first thing she did when I dropped her off at before school care was show her teacher her nails.
I went all day yesterday without any heartburn at all. Its doubling up today.
Hubby is back to working some horrible overtime. He didn't get home last night until Lilly was already asleep and that's probably how its going to be today and tomorrow. He said that they are working late so they don't have to work this weekend, but its not like it really matters. He said if he was off on Saturday he was going out hunting and we wouldn't see him anyway. Me and Lilly have breakfast with Santa on Saturday. Then, we are heading toward our storage building some 30 miles away (yeah, I could have gotten one close where I live now, but his storage building was close to where I use to live and it was cheaper than any other place) and mom is suppose to meet me there with one or more of my little brothers so they can get my Christmas decorations and the tree out in and in my car for me. Then, all of us are just going to hang out. I gotta go get Lilly a Christmas-y outfit or dress for her performance at school. Me, Lilly and hubby should be able to spend Sunday together. We do have a birthday party to go to.
Hubby's family is planning a baby shower for me on January 2. Oh, what fun that's going to be. I would like it much better if it was just me, hubby's mom, sister, aunts and cousins and a few of his friends wives and girlfriends...but they invited EVERYONE they know. I only know like 10 people that was on the list.
Just went with hubby to pick up our concealed weapon permits. Maybe that's what I can tell hubby I want for Christmas. A .25 revolver.....

Let it SNOW!!!

The first day of December has started out perfect.....its snowing!!!!! And I got to make an aggressive driver very upset. One of those people who will go as far as they can in the wrong lane and then cut over at the last second just to get in front of a few cars, you know the kind. Yeah, I wouldn't let him over. HA! We were stopped at a red light and I could tell that was his plan, so when it turned green, we both went...fast. We made it about a block before the next light started to change and I think he though I was going to run the yellow, so I stopped and that made him stuck in the wrong lane and it was too late now to get over. This was as far as my lane went. So he tried to squeeze in behind me, now taking up two lanes. So the light turns green and we head to the next 2 lane road. He gets behind me and rides my bumper until he decides he's ready to pass...he gets in the next lane to pass me and a car pulls out in front of him and he's stuck again. I block him in just to make him mad, but after a few seconds I journey forward. About a minute later, here he comes barreling down the road like he is trying to make a point, but it just makes me laugh. I turn before he gets to me.
I got Lilly's dollhouse. Toys-R-Us had them on the website for $159.99 and they were fully furnished and everything. I went to the mall to the Toys-r-us in there, but they didn't have it, so I went to Kid Country Toys. I don't know how well known that store is. Anyway, I took out the pic I had printed off and asked. They had it, only it was $79.00 and only the dinning room was furnished. It did come with the parents and the twins and Lilly already has the big sister from something else. So I got the family room, living room, and a bedroom....and even with buying the rooms, it was still $20 cheaper than if I had bought if fully furnished. EDIT~ ok, for some reason I thought it was cheaper, but I didn't even buy all the rooms. I still have 4 more rooms to buy. I think I'm just going to add the nursery for the twins and then save the rest of the rooms for her birthday since its in March. I even got some dogs to go with it. I'm so excited. I have Lilly's big present now. And I know she will love it. She got EVERYTHING she asked for. She hasn't asked for much. She really wanted a pillow pet, then later suggested that a snuggie would be nice, then out of the blue she said she wanted a doll house. Check, check and check. Oh, and I got mom some misfit toys. She loves Rudolph and the misfit toys. One year I did get her the abominable snowman.
Hubby's ankle is looking much better. He can now limp around without the crutches. Me and Lilly had plans to go to the grocery store and it was raining. It always rains when we plan to go grocery shopping. I did voice my concerns over decorating for Christmas to hubby and he said he feels the exact same way. He didn't like my suggestion of putting up my small tree instead of our big one, he said if we were going to decorate, we are going to do it right. I liked that. No shortcuts. So I told him that I would like to do it this coming Tuesday since I'll be going by my storage building on Saturday anyway and we will have Lilly. He said that was fine. He's going to go to the bank sometime this week to get his information updated for the loan. Remember, last time we tried he was unemployed...none of my info has changed, but he's got a good job now.
Lilly surprised me last night. A commercial for Glee came on and she was so excited, she wanted to watch it. Apparently she watches it at her father's house. Doesn't really surprise me there, him and his gf were both in show choir in high school. So, I turned it on for her, but I guess it was boring cuz she went to sleep in 15 minutes. I should use that all the time to get her to sleep. She's been doing really well in school. Good grades, staying out of trouble, making new friends...she is having so much fun and I am so proud of her.

A lot going on

Finally found Lilly the dollhouse that I think she will love. She's never really had a dollhouse yet. I did get her a Barbie townhouse one year for Christmas, but it ended up in the storage building due to lack of space. I never had a dollhouse growing up and I always wanted one. I think she is old enough now to care for all those small parts. I'm actually super excited over this one. Its big, its fully furnished and it comes with the entire family. A mom, dad, big sister and baby twins. So cute. Its only $160. For all that and to see her expression, I would pay way more. So, come next pay day, I'm out to get that for her and hubby's thing for his 4-wheeler. I would do it all today, but (1) I'm out of space to hide things until I can start wrapping and putting under the tree (we aren't putting up the tree just yet, we have to see if we can get the house before Christmas first) and (2) I have to use what money I have left out of this pay check to pay off the rest of my medical bill. I do feel kinda bad. I don't know if I can explain it right, but I will try. I am super excited over Christmas and so is Lilly. It is our favorite holiday. I just really love the FEEL of it all and seeing everyone's face when they open up the present that I spent forever trying to find and make perfect. I love the smell of Christmas. Its just all so wonderful. Ok...back on track. I don't want to NOT decorate and get ready for Christmas, but at the same time I don't want to. I would like to wait to see if we can move before Christmas, but I don't want it to be the week before when we decorate, either. I don't see the point in decorating and putting up the tree and wrapping presents when we'll have to pick everything up, pack and move it. But I don't want to not decorate just because we are waiting on an answer for the house. I think it would feel like we aren't celebrating or something. Lilly keeps asking when we are going to put up our lights and tree and I don't really know what to tell her. I don't want to tell her we are waiting 'til we see if we get a house cuz then she will get excited about that and we might not get it. Does any of that make any sense?? Maybe we could put up just a few lights and one of our little trees until we know what's going on. That way we wouldn't have much to take down if we do get to move. And just not wrap until it gets closer to Christmas or we have an answer or whatever. I don't know. I need to talk it over with hubby. I think he will want to wait, but I don't think I can. Its our last year with Lilly as the only child and I want to make it extra special for her. Don't get me wrong....a house for a Christmas present...what could be any better than that?
The cravings are starting to kick in. I'm craving coffee and milk, not at the same time though. Late at night I will want some milk and in the morning and sometimes evenings I will want coffee. With Lilly I craved hot sauce, Ranch dressing and ketchup....again...not together. I did and still do put hot sauce and Ranch dressing together. I like em in a salad like that.
I'm not feeling particularly well today. I'm having aches in weird places. Not only am I aching on the inside, my hips, lower back, knees, and head aches. I can't breathe anymore either. I read that my sinus cavities will swell up. They've been swollen for a long time and my nose has been stuff, but I guess where the air is getting dry, its making it worse. I've been having nose bleeds too. The baby is also pushing on all the wrong things making breathing even harder. He even kicks and plays with my hip bones and ribs. I swear I can feel him tickling my bladder just to make me mad. I use to feel his hiccups near my right hip and nowhere else, but now its kinda moves and I can feel it in my back and right above my belly button.
I had a sugar crash or whatever its called yesterday. My blood sugar got too low and I got sick, shaky and dizzy. I brought a Gatorade today just in case it happens again. I think I'm going to invest in a pack of it to bring from now on. Heartburn has calmed down a bit. Yeah, when I go buy 6 rolls of Tums, it basically goes away. Nice. Its very exciting though cuz tonight we are having tacos and I don't have to worry about breathing fire later. I also feel that if I stand up straight, I will topple over. I've noticed that I do stand/walk with a little arch now. I do have an almost constant dull headache right in the front around my forehead. My teeth also hurt. My gums have been swollen for weeks, which the doc said is normal. Ok, I understand that a lot of these aches and pains and discomforts are 'normal' but they still really suck and I think there needs to be ways to relieve or cure some of them. There really aren't. Doc says, drink more water, prop your feet up, take it easy, brush twice a day, stretch, go on small walks, take some Tums, eat more often but with smaller meals....I already do all of that. What else can I do? Grint my teeth and bear it remembering that I only have......what am I down to now....8 weeks?.......left and then I will have this little baby to hold in my arms and spit up on me. I can't wait! ^_^

Got Lilly back yesterday. It was the first weekend of our new arrangement where she goes to her father's on Thursday and I get her back Monday after school every other weekend. I get to keep her all week. That's right. I get her all week without having to ask him. I get to keep her without having to give up my time later on in the month. She gets to stay on the same schedule all week. There's no school next week. I am going to let him get her the day before Thanksgiving so we won't have to rush around ON Thanksgiving. We played hard last night, too. My tummy was hurting due to the stretching (its still hurting today, but way worse), but we played. Lets see....... War-the card game, Barbies, Simon Says, we did her word flash cards and played with her baby and a squirrel that move. What else? Oh, read her a story too. When we were playing Simon Says she was trying to make me touch my toes and she laughed her head off when I couldn't cuz I was squishing the baby.
Still don't have anything resolved with my overdue medical bill. Been trying to get a settlement amount, so I can just try to make one big lump sum payment and have it all taken care of. Its been a month and I have no news yet. I call them every week for an update and every week they say they are putting in another request. The collection agency has to go through the hospital to get an amount. I guess the hospital doesn't want their money. I did get a hold of a really nice lady at the agency that seems to actually want to help and I remembered to get her name this time. She's suppose to call me today with some kind of news. I even went so far as to call the hospital to try to figure something out just between me and them, but they lady said, "We don't handle that here. Let me transfer you." And guess where she transferred me.... yep....the collection agency.
Little bit overly excited about Christmas this year. I've been excited about it for a few months now. That's like all I think about anymore. How much money I'm going to have to go shopping, what I'm going to get everyone, where I'm going to hide the presents........ so excited over it all. I did order all the stuff I had in my cart from a website yesterday. www.abcdistributing.com They have some good stuff. I got just about everyone's stuff on there. Got Lilly a giant inflatable bowling set, my dad and uncle are getting duffle bags with a fish and a deer on it, my little brothers are getting guitar lamps, hubby's getting binoculars that's also a camera, nephew and Lilly are getting kid snuggies. My mom, both grandma's, my step dad and step mom are all getting this hilarious garden gnome, my bff is getting an ornament...oh I can't remember what else. That might be it. I did have a few more things on there, but after much deliberation, I took them off. Good stuff though...and cheap.
Thursday, Lilly's school is having their Thanksgiving lunch and I'm going to go have lunch with her. They are doing Kindergarten's lunch at 10:30!!! I'll come into work and do my morning stuff and leave about 9:45. I'll be here about 3 hours before I gotta head out. I don't even know if its worth it. The drive here, the drive back there...I don't know. I don't really want to take the day off, though. I guess I could. I don't know....something to think about I guess.

Feels like I swallowed fire

Stupid pillow pets!! After a month of searching I finally found one. Not the one that Lilly was wanting though. She was wanting the unicorn, I found a hippo. Its purple, so I bought it thinking that I wouldn't get another chance. My boss called me an hour after I bought the hippo and she said she found the unicorn. So I guess I'm going to go tomorrow to get the unicorn and give it to my grandma to give to her. The Pillow Pet is the only thing she has asked for all year for Christmas. I'm going to slyly ask her to make sure its still the unicorn she wants.
So far for Christmas I have bought Lilly- two pair of Princess and the Frog socks, a bedazzler and some refills, a pair of pink plaid shoes, a shirt, two battery powered hamsters one with a ball one with a wheel, a bracelet, the hippo Pillow Pet, Princess and the Frog body wash and shampoo, candy corn flavored chapstick, and a few other things I forget. The only things left I know for sure that I'm going to get her is the second Chipmunk movie, a big Littlest Pet Shop playhouse, some more individual My Little Ponies, Squinkies, the Jenga game, the Guess Who game and some more clothes....oh and some earrings. I have been eyeballing some star shaped earrings for her. Oh, and a kids snuggie and giant inflatable bowling.
Hubby's gonna get a back rack for his 4-wheeler, a WVU hoodie, the Avatar movie and whatever Lilly picks out for him. Maybe a Wii game or a PS2 game. I think that's enough for him. The stupid rack costs $150. For his birthday I'm gonna get him either a Blue Ray player or a PS3. Thought about getting him an XBox 360, but we don't have internet. Oh, and I do have these binoculars picked out that also takes pictures that he can use for hunting.
The baby is doing weird things. He is now big enough to make and keep me uncomfortable. He lodged a foot right under my ribs last night and no matter what I did, I could not get comfortable. I can also sit or lay and watch him move now. Reminds me of a movie where the alien pops out of someone's stomach. Yeah... that's what it looks like is about to happen sometimes. I can't really describe the feeling. Its weird. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I don't even notice that he's moving around. He's making some big movements though. My stomach does 'the wave' sometimes. He's also getting the hiccups on a regular basis now.
Heartburn is getting worse with each passing day. No matter what I eat or don't eat, the heartburn comes and there's no getting rid of it. I just have to ride it out. Tums do no good.

I worry too much

Lilly saw her first ice cream truck yesterday. The music started playing and it was getting closer and closer. We were outside playing and she says, "What's that noise." I said, "I'm not going to tell you." By then it was too late and it was in sight. "Oh, Mommy!!!! An ice cream truck!!!" It was too cold for ice cream or I would have let her get some. We didn't see the truck at all during the summer, but as soon as it starts cooling down, there he is.
Hubby is working a lot of over time now. 12 hour shift without a day off for almost a month...is what he says. This week he's worked over, but I would think they would at least give him Sunday's off or something. We'll see I guess. Makes me sad that he's not home. I've been making plans to stay busy while he's working and Lilly's gone. Hanging out with my bff on Saturday. I think I'm just going to sleep today. Go home, make a samich and hop into bed with my book.
Got my info back on what the insurance will pay for. Everything is paid for except the bills from my ER visit. A total of $2,713.00. I thought about asking my grandparents for the money, but only if they will let me pay them back. $2,293 has already gone to collections so I need to get that paid off before we apply for a loan in December. I took money out of savings to pay the $420 bill. I used the little Christmas money I had to make a $200 payment on the $2,293 bill. If I was paying it by myself I could have it all paid off like a week before the baby is due, but if hubby helps out I can hopefully get it paid off before December.
I could probably pay it off sooner, but I gotta try to save up money to go Christmas shopping.
Lilly felt the baby kick again. Feels like he never sleeps anymore cuz he's always moving about. She was singing to him yesterday and I told her that he was dancing and I had her feel.
I have a doctor's appointment in 8 days. They were suppose to call me and let me know when my next ultrasound was, but they never did. I was suppose to go in to get the shadow they saw on his heart checked out and to see if my placenta moved up. Maybe they are just gonna do it all the same day. Ultrasound and doc visit.