Tuesday, July 19, 2011


I'm afraid of quite a lot of things.... I'm afraid of my kids getting lost or hurt, my house burning down, being robbed in the middle of the night, hubby getting hurt while out on a house fire, things like that. But there are only a few things that I actually have a fear of.
Deep water is one of my fears. I can swim. I'm actually a good swimmer. I don't know why I'm afraid of deep water, I just am. I'm fine with being in water until it gets above my shoulders, then I feel like I'm being suffocated and I can't breathe. I don't do pool parties or anything like that either. I'll go for the sake of Lilly and hubby, but I watch instead of participating. The last time I was in water was 2 months after I got married. Me, hubby, Lilly, one of hubby's friends, his wife and kid that's Lilly's age went to Six Flags. I did the water slides with no problem. The water isn't that deep. One of these days, though, I want to beat this fear and take scuba diving lessons. **Beating your fears** no matter what they are is awesome.
I use to even be afraid to put Lilly in a pool, but that fear has faded. She has fun.
My second and most serious fear is having a heart attack. I basically KNOW that I'm going to have one and I'm doing everything I can do prevent it. I've quit smoking, I'm eating healthier, I'm being more active, I take fish oil pills...little things like that. Heart disease runs in the family. My mom, her dad, my dad's dad, my dad's mom.... its just something I kind of know is going to happen. My mom has had 2 or 3, I don't really remember. Her first one was the biggest, that's when I took over the house. Her last one had the doctors opening her up. She had triple bypass surgery after the last one. Both my grandpa's have a pacemaker and my grandma had one heart attack about 3 years ago. I am determined to beat this thing. I get a blood test done every year to monitor my cholesterol. 
Diabetes also runs on my dad's side of the family, but that doesn't concern me as much as heart disease. Its still a concern, yes, but not as big. I have that monitored too. I do need to get it checked now that I've had Zach. I've been having problems keeping my sugar up since I gave birth to him. Its not too bad, but its something I want to check out.
I'm afraid of a lot of things, things that mostly involve my family. I guess those could be fears too, but I also think those things are things most people are afraid of or worry about.

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