Friday, July 1, 2011

4th of July!

So, it hit me like a brick wall last night. I want to write again. I want to finish my book and I've already come up with an idea for a sequel to that book. I might even try to do a poetry book, even though I don't think poetry will get me far. I was damn good at writing too. I have missed it, but it just didn't occur to me to pick it back up. You can't tell on here that I'm good. I write on here like I'm talking to my best friend. Its casual and straight to the point. So, that's what I'm going to do. Within the next month, I'm going to be well on my way to finishing my book. It was even on my list of things I wanted to do before I turned 25, but I never really thought much about it. Other things were happening. I was getting married, I was having kids, I was getting to know my current job. But I'm going to do it. I'm putting it on my list to do before I turn 30. I've very excited about this.
On another note...July 4th is almost here. We're doing our **fireworks** tomorrow. Lilly is so excited for it. She got up this morning in such a good mood cuz tomorrow is firework day. I don't know when the city is doing them, but we don't go to those. I've never been. Maybe I should. I tried one year, but it got rained out. I was only dating hubby and we went to his buddy's mom's house so they could let off fireworks they bought, but I was set on showing Lilly the ones from the city, so I left. I found a nice parking spot 5 blocks away and walked down toward the river with one year old Lilly in my arms. I found some friends and was enjoying the music and the company. But by the time it got dark enough to start the fireworks, it had started sprinkling, so they held off. But then it started pouring and they announced that the fireworks were canceled and would be rescheduled. I ran. I ran with Lilly in my arms in the pouring ran to find some cover. I even lost one of her shoes, but a very nice man chased me down to give it back to me. I was a little scared at first, being chased by an odd man.... The whole situation was comical.
Sunday, I plan on heading out to visit mom, my brothers and my step dad. Mom has some explaining to do....
Oh, forgot to mention. I went Tuesday to get my license renewed since it expired on my bday. I was going to go after work, but changed my mind and went during my lunch. On my way there I was wondering if I should have given my little brother a call to see if he was ready to take the test to get his learners. I walk in, filled out my papers, did my vision test and took a seat. I then look up and who do I see? My little brother standing there filling out papers. I had to blink twice to make sure it was him. Can't really miss him. 5 foot 8 inch guy dressed in all black with hair that desperately needs cut. Then walks in my step-mom, step-brother and his wife. Step-brother's wife, Erika and my brother, Tony were both there to try to get their learners. Erika is 8 months pregnant and this was her 4th try. Tony was only on his first try.
(Spice Girls just seriously came on the radio in my office just now. Wannabe. Pause while I dance)
I talked to them for a while until the people called for Erika and Tony for the test. My number then came up and I went to get my picture taken. By the time I was done, Tony was done. He failed. I told him not to worry, I didn't get it on my first try either. They fill it full of trick questions. One he remembered was- What do you do if an ambulance pulls up behind you while you're driving? I said pull over. Nope. You don't do anything cuz the lights aren't on. What crap is that? Erika passed, finally, but they wouldn't give it to her cuz she didn't have proof of residency for her address.
Then my step mom wanted to talk to me about my other brother, Chris. He's not doing too well. He's a manic depressive, among other things, and she was asking me for advice. He won't do anything or go out of the house. He quit his job. He won't even fix himself something to eat. Someone else has to cook for him, make his plate and take it to him. My stepmom, Jayne, even said that she's had to make him go take showers. She said that when she does finally get him out of the house, he's like a zombie. He is seeing a therapist once a month and taking meds. I told Jayne that he needs to go to the doctor more often and I looked up one of his medications to find out that its a sedative. Why give a down person a downer? I told Jayne that he probably needs to be off that. The therapist said that he needs 24 hour supervision, but everyone else in that house works. She was thinking about sending him off to my grandma's house and I told her that if she felt that was the only option, that he should only go for a few days at a time. Grandma will drive anyone crazy and I know she'll push him over the edge. I've made plans to go see him this weekend. Maybe Monday. I don't know. He doesn't really like hubby all that much, so he'd have to stay home, but I'd like to take the kids. He was fine a month ago when I went down there and cooked for him and Tony. Something had to have happened and the only thing I can think of that's different is that sedative. I just hope he gets better. I need to go down there and let him know that I'm here for him.


  1. hi bekah!
    I'm still reading everyday & enjoy it so much!
    I think you are a fantastic writer & can see it through this blog. Even though it is just like you're writing to your best friend, it has structure & I love reading your stories :)
    on another note, I don't know if it will help at all, but i would like to recommend a website & book for your brother Chris.
    Ive been checking this site out since a friend showed me the book in highschool and every sunday it reloads itself.
    the website is
    check it out yourself.
    I'm not despressed at all, but I do have secrets. this website is just a place where people annonmously send a postcard in with their secret.
    it seems to help a lot of people & its nice to know that someone else out there shares your secret too.
    I don't know if it will help chris at all, but i thought i might just let you know. :) worth a try i guess!
    anyway enjoy your 4th of July!
    all the best to you & your family!
    take care,

  2. Thanks Simone. I've been on that site a few times, but never really thought to tell Chris about it. I will do that, thank you so much!