Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Just Thinking

Sometimes when I really get to thinking, I have this WOW moment when I realize exactly where I am in life. I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm not in high school surrounded by all my friends. I'm not living care free without any bills. I am a mom. That's the biggest WOW moment. Yeah, I've been a mother for over 6 years now, but it still catches me off guard from time to time.
Right after I had Lilly, I didn't really FEEL like a mother. I felt more like a permanent babysitter, or maybe even her bigger sister. She was my mini me. We did everything together, like sisters would. I came out of my mom's house taking care of my little brothers to having a child of my own. It came natural and I was (and still am) good at being a mother. When I look at Zach now, sometimes its just like the old days when I cared for my brothers. The first couple weeks of his life, I kept calling him by my brothers names.
I have two kids. Who woulda thought? It feels natural and weird all at the same time.
I'm married. I've been married for 3 years now. Being a wife came natural too, but when I stop and actually think about it, it is weird. My husband is my best friend and I love him dearly, but sometimes... its like... oh how can I put this? Its like.... I'm in another world or something. When I was younger, I always dreamed of being married with kids and I knew it would happen, but its hard to believe that it has happened. Does that make any sense? Time has flown by and things have happened so fast that sometimes its hard to believe that things actually have happened. It seems like yesterday I was a freshman in high school and now I'm 25 and married with two kids.
Does anyone else feel this way? Like time has just gone by so fast and when you blink your in another world? You're not a little kid anymore. You have a job, or you're in college finding your path to what's going to become your career. You have kids and a spouse and debt.
I'm very happy with my life and the paths that I have chosen and the people I choose to surround myself with. I just can't believe that its all actually happening sometimes.

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