Thursday, September 23, 2010

blood pressure rising

I guess I'm not allowed to be in a good mood for a couple of consecutive days. Lilly's father has to go and ruin it all. I'm not going to go into much detail cuz it will just piss me off again, but he is being so selfish and irrational. You don't trade time for more time, you don't compromise the health of your child, you don't ignore her safety, you don't NOT care about her well being and what is best for her. He is only thinking of taking time away from me, he is not thinking of what is best for Lilly. When things don't go his way, he throws a fit. He doesn't care if she is worn out and tired, he doesn't care if she doesn't want to go to his house, he doesn't care that my time with her is basically nothing these days, he doesn't care about anything or anyone except himself. He's only doing what he is doing to make me mad. He agrees to one thing, but changes his mind and says that he didn't. He doesn't want me to ask what she wants, he just wants me to force her to do things she doesn't want to do only because its what he wants.

He just makes me so mad. I wish the judge would have just made a decision back when we went a couple weeks ago. Now I have to wait and deal with him being like this for another month before we go back. I just can't get him to understand that its not what I want or what he wants, its what is best for Lilly. She cannot get the stability she needs or get into any kind of routine with things the way they are now or by the way he wants things to be. He actually suggested he gets a weeks and I get a week. How is that fair to Lilly? She would be enduring that long drive before and after school every other week. She wouldn't be eating dinner on time, every other week. Her performance in school would be worse cuz she would be tired, every other week. She wouldn't have a stable place, she would be bouncing around from house to house, every other week. I don't think so, buddy. I will not put my child through that and I am actually appalled that he would even bring something like that to the table. It would be different if we lived closer and I knew she would be on the same schedule. He just doesn't get it. I grew up with divorced parents. I have been through it all and then some. I know what road he is going down and I know what Lilly is going to end up doing. These are the times I wish I had a friend that was a lawyer that could come to court with me. I just hope that the judge has a good head on her shoulders and doesn't look at things as "split time between the parents" but what is actually the best for Lilly.

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