Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My worries


Ok, so yeah... I've been freaking out lately about having the baby. Granted its not my first, but still. And I know how to raise little boys, but that part isn't what I'm freaking out about. I'm not even all that worried about getting a bigger place..... its the delivery part that's bugging me. I have been putting a lot of thought into doing all this as naturally as possible, but of course, yes, I'm taking the pain meds. I mean, not setting up a date to be induced, just letting it happen. My mom has a phone now, so I know I will be able to get a hold of her. Yes, there are more problems other than that... like trying to get a hold of hubby, my bff is hours away, my dad travels for work, I don't know what to do with Lilly...but... I've been thinking about it. The more I think, the more I worry. And I don't even know if I will be able to deliver 'naturally.' I might have to have a C-section. As it stands now, I'm going to need one. Unless my placenta moves where its suppose to be, that's my only option. I don't know how I feel about a C-section. I haven't told hubby about that yet. I was going to wait until my next doctor's appointment when they check everything again to see if my placenta has moved. If it hasn't and its confirmed that this is my only option, I will tell hubby then. I don't want him worrying too. Not yet. Not until he has to.
I am officially 6 months pregnant this week and I'm still not showing that much. Someone at work said, "Did you say you were pregnant a couple months ago?" I said, "Yeah...?" She then asked how far along I was and she didn't believe me. I was like this last time. You couldn't tell I was pregnant until about 7 months... then it was like a swallowed a beach ball. All of a sudden, BAM, I had this huge stomach. I'm glad it took that long or I wouldn't have gotten my first job. I started working and then like 2 weeks later, I was big. The boss told me that her boss wouldn't have hired me if he knew I was pregnant..... um isn't that discrimination or something? So, the way I figured this one would go is around Thanksgiving I am going to pop out real good. Close to 8 months, I'm finally going to look the part I've been playing this whole time.
I like this rate I'm going. I haven't had that many problems with clothes. But I know how I'm going to basically grow over night and that's why I was so worried about clothes so early on. I've already told my boss to be prepared for me to call off work due to no clothes fitting. Today, I can still fit into my regular clothes. Tomorrow I'll be 3 sizes bigger. I don't know if its the way the babies lay or what. Maybe they lay across my stomach and then when they get so big, they turn around like they are suppose to be. I dunno. I think I've only gained like 5 pounds so far. Last time I gained all my weight in the last month. I'm going to try not to do that. I do have a goal, after I have this baby I want to be 10 pounds lighter than I was before I got pregnant, before I go back to work. And then from there I want to work on getting back to my high school weight. It wasn't that long ago, so I'm hoping it won't be a problem.
I have been having odd pains these past couple of days. Its kinda like pressure or something. Its usually whenever I stand up. I'm definitely going to ask my doctor about that. It may be due to my low laying placenta. I'm hoping its not a sign that something horrible is wrong.

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